Chapter 68 – Esteban's motivations
Standing by the dead bodies, Mendoza didn't know what to do, paralyzed by the shocking scene. Everything happened too fast, and he was totally stunned, numbed by the mixed, contradictory feelings he had when it was over. He felt sorry for the alcalde and sad for his death, but at the same time relieved, as if he deserved to die for his outrageous, deranged and cruel behaviour, and the sergeant's good nature made him feel very uneasy about that mean-spirited thought. At that point, he knew he would forever rue ignoring Ramón's command to arrest Don Esteban, because if he had done that, both men would still be alive.
He couldn't stand looking at Victoria and Don Alejandro, crying and hugging each other, close to Don Esteban's lifeless body, and he felt like joining them in their sorrow. When he thought about his friend Don Diego, who was so close to his cousin, he had to wipe some tears off while imagining how devastated the caballero would be, finding out the horrible news at his return from Monterey.
The soldiers looked at the sergeant, expectant, waiting for his orders, but he didn't want to be the one in charge.
Madre de Dios! I am in charge now!
He was in charge of the garrison, in charge of everything in that pueblo until a new Alcalde would be appointed, but he refused to be the one, ignoring the looks of the other soldiers, choosing denial and silence as the best course of action.
Doctor Hernández had a quick look at the other inert body lying on the ground, not far from Don Esteban, to confirm what everybody already knew: the alcalde was dead.
"Sergeant, I think he should be moved inside the church. You should arrange the alcalde's funeral and deal with this disaster."
"Who? Me? I don't want to deal with anything, no," Mendoza said, shaking his head, refusing the responsibility out loud.
"I'm afraid you have to. As the highest ranked soldier in the garrison you are in charge now, and you should take the appropriate steps to deal with this unfortunate situation."
"No, not me, no. I'm not ready for this!" Mendoza said, shaking his head, stepping back.
"All right, calm down. I'll help you. Lancers, take the alcalde into the church, please. Corporal Sepúlveda, take witnesses' accounts of what happened here. The plaza was full, so you'll have no problem with that. I'll give you my statement later."
The soldiers followed the doctor's orders, happy to be told what to do, as they were as shocked as Mendoza by the tragedy, totally at a loss. They got a stretcher from the garrison to carry the alcalde's dead body to the church, and while they did that, following Padre Benítez, the doctor talked to Don Alejandro, who had let go of Victoria and was trying to regain his composure, wiping off his tears.
"Let's get your nephew off the plaza. Where should we take him? To the church, or do you want to take him home for the wake?"
"I… I don't know." The old don looked at the tavern window then, thinking of Diego. "Not home. That's too far away."
"We'll take him back to the tavern," Victoria said. "We'll do his wake there, at the ground floor, away from the alcalde. They shouldn't be placed together for that in church. It's not right."
"Good idea. Maybe he can see him then if he wants to," Don Alejandro said, careful not to mention Diego's name in front of the crowd that surrounded them.
ZZZ
Felipe tried to help Diego to stand up and go back to bed, but he refused to move. He carried on crying by the window, leaning against the wall, while Felipe continued watching the scene at the plaza, also crying.
"Is he dead yet?" Diego asked after a while, wiping off his tears, collecting himself. Felipe looked at him with reddened, tear-drenched eyes, and nodded slowly. The soldiers were taking the alcalde to the church then, so he made the signs to tell him that. "They are taking them to the church? Help me up, please."
Felipe pulled up while Diego made a huge effort to lift his unresponsive body, with the intention to get to the door, but he was lucky he got as far as a couple of steps to collapse back in bed.
"When will I regain my strength? When? This is ridiculous! Why am I still so weak?" Diego cried in frustration. He wanted to get down and see his cousin, but he couldn't. However, even if he physically could leave the tavern, he shouldn't because he was supposed to be in Monterey, so he still had to stay in that room, hiding. He started then a round of frustrated cursing and ranting, but he was interrupted by Victoria's arrival.
"Diego, I am so sorry," she said, rushing to his side. "Are you all right?"
Diego nodded, hugging her as tightly as he could.
"He sacrificed for us, so we can be together," she said with a trembling voice, and they both burst into tears again while supporting each other.
"I know. And he shouldn't have. Maldito alcalde! If I had killed him ages ago as I should, none of this would have happened!" Diego cried in anger.
"Don't say that. Nobody knows what would have happened instead, if you had killed Ramón," she said, breaking the embrace to look at him.
"I should have done something to prevent this!"
"Please, don't torture yourself about this disaster. It can't be your fault. No way this is your fault!"
Diego looked down, avoiding her weepy eyes. "I feel as if it is, somehow. I knew Esteban would try something like this, and I still let him go. I should have stopped him."
"How? If he was determined to fight the alcalde, how could you stop him, even less in your condition? He did it for us, and I will be eternally grateful to him."
"Yes, I feel the same. But…"
"No buts. It was his choice, and there was nothing you, or anybody else, could do about it. Stop blaming yourself right now!"
"I can't! He was laughing with us only a few hours ago, and now he's gone, forever. When he left, he promised me I would see him later, but now I won't," he said while more tears ran afresh down his face. "I knew he wanted to fight the alcalde, but he was in no condition to do so. I told him to hide at Zorro's cave to heal before he confronted Ramón, but he didn't listen!"
"If he had done that, leaving the tavern to hide at the cave, the alcalde would have found you here while looking for him. Ramón was about to force that door to get into this room when I distracted him by running downstairs. I think Esteban knew he couldn't just leave the tavern and hide, because the alcalde would find you then."
"I guess you could be right. He probably hoped he could win somehow and then hide at the cave to heal. Unfortunately, we will never know what was going through his head."
"We are bringing him here for the wake. We can help you to go downstairs if you want to see him, before other people come."
"Yes, please, I would like to do that. Thank you."
ZZZ
While the coffin-maker got to work in the two caskets, Pedro and Pablo carried Esteban's floppy, dead body to the tavern, and left him lying on a large table. Victoria closed the tavern door behind Don Alejandro and doctor Hernández, and latched it before anybody else tried to get in.
"Diego wants to see him. Can you please help him to come downstairs?" Victoria said.
"Yes, of course," Pedro said.
Don Alejandro's workers helped Diego down, supporting his weight on their shoulders to drag him all the way to that table. When they got to Esteban's side Diego gasped, letting out a short, distressed whining cry when he saw his cousin's ghostly-white face, and his torso covered by that large blood stain. Blood that also covered his father's clothes, and the doctor's.
Diego stretched his arm to tentatively touch his cousin's injured arm, feeling the wound, and gasped again.
"Oh, God. That bone is blown to pieces!" Diego said, horrified, withdrawing his hand. "No wonder he tucked it away and avoided using the arm all through the swordfight, because it must have been hell for him fighting with that kind of pain.
"Yes. If he had survived, he would have lost that arm, very likely," the doctor said.
Fresh tears ran down Diego's cheeks freely once again. No way his spirited cousin would have coped with that. It was bad enough he had to suffer from seizures; permanent disfigurement would have tipped him to the edge.
"I think he felt he was about to fit and he didn't have much time left to win that fight," Diego said.
"Yes, I also think that," Don Alejandro said, nodding.
"We talked about that, how he had suffered a seizure every time he had used a sword recently, since he got poisoned. It happened every time. And he knew perfectly well it was very likely he would fit again while fighting the alcalde. He knew that, and he still tried."
"Yes. He knew what he was doing, as if he tried to redeem himself or something," Don Alejandro said, hesitating. "Almost as if… Oh, God, I don't want to say it. Do you think he… he killed himself?"
"No, I don't think that was his first intention, but… maybe. I don't know. He looked at the window right before he lunged at Ramón, who also spotted me there. By attacking the alcalde like that, without covering himself at all, he risked his life, yes, but I think he wanted to carry on living. However, it looked like he didn't care much what happened to him as long as he could kill the alcalde with that last thrust. That was his way to get out, heroically and dramatically, as he always liked. And I'm glad he managed to do that, because I can't picture him disabled. Not like this," Diego said, shaking his head.
"No. He would have hated that," Don Alejandro agreed.
"Yes, and I will never thank him enough for his sacrifice," Diego said, wiping off his tears with the other hand, the one not stained with blood. "And now he'll never return that punch he owed me, and I will never shake off this odd, harrowing feeling I have. Ever."
"Please, don't," Victoria said. "I already said you shouldn't feel guilty about this, because it's not your fault."
"Yes, you said that, but I can't control what I feel, Victoria. Did he suffer a lot in the end?" he said, looking at the doctor.
"No, it was very fast," Doctor Hernández said. "He fell unconscious, started convulsing, and then bled to death in seconds after I removed the sword. So, I don't think he suffered a lot. He already did all his suffering while fighting with that arm, and with his fractured ribs. At the end, he smiled and looked at peace. Like… released."
Diego nodded then, with his eyes closed, swallowing hard to control another bout of crying. When he opened his eyes again, he tried to lean, without falling over him, and Pedro and Pablo made an extra effort to support his weight while he kissed his cousin's forehead lightly.
"Gracias, idiota. Farewell, and rest in peace now. You won your gold star this time."
ZZZ
Diego could not attend the double funeral the next day, but at least the poison's effect wore off over the next couple of days. The poison had acted mainly as a potent muscle relaxant, but once it faded, Diego was nearly back to normal, except for the stabbing wound in his back, and the now healing, repaired gunshot wound.
Two nights after the tragic deaths, he sneaked out of the tavern in the dark and rode back to the cave with Felipe. There, at his desk, he found a letter that brought fresh tears to his eyes one more time.
Dear Diego,
If you are reading this, I'll probably be dead or badly injured, and unable to get rid of this embarrassing note before you can read it. Otherwise, it would have never reached your hands.
I am sorry if I didn't succeed today, and I can only hope that if I am dead, I took that son of a bitch to hell with me, so you can have a pleasant and bright future in this pueblo without his presence.
If my time has come and I had to go, please don't be sad for me. Be happy I got released from this life I don't really want to live. I know I'll never get the only woman I have ever loved, because she has always been yours, and I don't want a life on the run, with the inconvenience of having a seizure at any time. I am through with that life I don't even want to start living. So, if this is goodbye, don't cry, and be happy, as I want you to be. And don't you dare feeling guilty about anything because this was my choice. I could have followed your advice and stayed at the cave, but the alcalde would have searched the tavern again, finding you there while looking for me, and I could not allow that to happen. I can only hope I somehow won, and you don't need to dress as Zorro ever again.
Take care of Victoria, and your father, and tell them I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. And let my parents know what happened as well, and how their idiotic son did something remotely heroic in the end. Please, especially tell my mother how I regret not helping her and the children as I should have, instead of running away like a coward. If I have to take any regrets with me now, that would be the greatest one. That, and trying to steal your girlfriend. I am so sorry for that.
I really hope you have a wonderful life with Victoria. Please, make her happy, and give her the big family she longs for so much. Your father will appreciate that too, greatly. Only one request from you: name one of your sons after me. That will be nice to see from the other side.
So long, smartarse. Take care.
Your idiotic cousin,
Esteban de la Vega
Diego smiled through the tears when he finished reading.
"Yes, I will," he whispered, holding that letter against his chest. "And little Esteban will be as brave as his uncle, but a little less idiotic, I hope."
ZZZ
Diego slept that night at the cave, and the next morning he rode out as Zorro to stage the breaking-up with Victoria, something he wanted to do as soon as possible. The stabbing wound in his back still bothered him, but at least this time he didn't anticipate any problems at the pueblo, as he didn't think the lancers would take the initiative to chase him.
Pedro and Pablo had finished the carpentry work at the tavern, anchoring the chandelier properly this time. Unfortunately, Victoria had to pretend her arm was still broken and healing inside the cast for a few weeks, but she had decided to keep the tavern open for drinks only, taking a break from the cooking.
Zorro entered the tavern using the back door to the kitchen, and then walked into the main area through the curtains.
When Victoria saw him, she approached him quickly, looking furious.
"It was time you showed up at this pueblo, only a little bit late, don't you think?"
"I am sorry, Victoria, but I had to go away for a few days."
Everybody went quiet and all the customers present in the tavern stared at the couple, not missing a word.
"Don Esteban helped you at the plaza, saving your life, got poisoned with that damn, venomous blade, and instead of helping him, you had to go away?"
"Victoria, I had other issues I had to attend. I would have rescued him from jail now, as I had done several times, if he had not tried to be a hero."
"He was my friend, and now he's dead because you didn't bother helping him!"
"Your friend? I think he was more than your friend, wasn't he?"
Victoria slapped him hard with her left hand.
"Don't act so offended! That's the rumour I heard. You can deny it if you want, but he wasn't the only De la Vega you've been sweet with recently."
"And what do you mean by that?"
"You know what I mean. He brought you roses the other day. I was here, at the tavern."
Some of the regular customers, who were also at the tavern when Diego appeared with the bouquet, made some comments about it, rumouring loudly.
"Were you? How convenient not revealing your identity to me so you can spy on me when you want, coward!"
"I wasn't spying. Only having a drink and admiring your beauty from afar," he said, bowing a bit.
"Give me a break! I am sick of this. We are finished! Get out of here!" she cried, storming upstairs. "And you know what, coward? If you had stick to your word, you should have killed the alcalde ages ago instead of giving him so many warnings, and Don Esteban would still be alive!" she said from the upper floor, leaning on her new banister, before she disappeared into her room, slamming the door behind her.
"All right, I'll give you a couple of days to think about this!" he shouted while looking up.
Mendoza and some soldiers entered the tavern then, and they stopped in their tracks, frozen in the spot when they saw Zorro in there.
"Zorro! What are you doing here?" Mendoza said. "Madre de Dios! I am in charge of the garrison now. I should order the lancers to chase you, as the alcalde would!"
"Sergeant, don't be silly and get out of the way, please. Just ignore me; that would be easier."
"Yes. Easier. I like easier," Mendoza said, moving to a side so Zorro could get out through the front door.
Outside, he whistled for Toronado, who was there in a flash, hopped on the saddle and they galloped away.
Easy. Piece of cake, Zorro thought on the way back to the Hacienda de la Vega. Good job she didn't hit me with the cast.
ZZZZZ