A/N I got so bored during my six weeks of not being allowed to move my arm much that I binge watched several shows on Netflix, Disney+ and Amazon Prime. Four of those shows were Glee, Heartstopper, Young Royals, and Alex Rider. I also read a lot of fanfics that teased me with story ideas of my own. This idea came to me from multiple different Fics and shows. I figure if Glee could mash up songs, I could mash up all these shows. Mystery, adventure, thrills, humor, love, angst, and smut await those who are courageous enough to read past this point!
Just FYI, there is no McKinley in this AU, only Dalton. Truham (Heartstopper), Brookland Comprehensive School (Alex Rider), and Hillerska (Young Royals) all still exist.
Also, I know I promised to post some completed stuff during my recovery, but the chapter of Somewhere, Ohio I wrote wasn't very good, so I decided to rewrite it. I'll post it soon. For those of you who haven't heard, my beloved brother passed away soon after my surgery, and I fell into a bit of depression, causing writer's block on many of my WiPs. I promise I will get back to them soon. I did post a couple of stories in the Young Royals fandom on ao3, though.
Reviews always welcome!
…
Chapter One
He watched his opponent warily, already sore from being thrown to the ground or against the wall several times, and his lip was bleeding from a punch he hadn't dodged fast enough. His dark curls dripped sweat into his eyes, blurring his vision some, but he could still track the other as they circled each other. He had gotten in his share of hits and body slams as well, but the taller boy had a slight advantage.
"Just tell me what I want to know, and we can end this," the auburn haired boy taunted, and then dropped into a leg sweep, knocking him off his feet again.
Blaine swore and jumped up quickly, not allowing himself to remain vulnerable longer than necessary. "I'm not telling you anything!" He advanced with a series of punches, karate chops, and a roundhouse kick the other boy managed to block, grabbing him mid calf and shoving him off balance.
This time before he could jump back up to his feet, his opponent dropped on top of him, straddling his hips and pinning his arms down by his head. Blaine stared up defiantly into blue/green eyes, struggling to break free. The other man just smirked down at him, leaning down lower, until his mouth was just fractions of an inch from Blaine's ear.
"Tell me the truth, or I will torture you until you beg for mercy!"
Blaine groaned, and tried helplessly to buck the other male off of him. "Do your worst, then!" he hissed.
"You asked for it!" The other man grinned evilly, and then began tickling Blaine mercilessly, causing him to writhe and buck even harder as he fought the giggles erupting from him. Tears streamed from his eyes as he tried to gasp for air, but the onslaught continued.
After several minutes Blaine finally managed to draw in enough air to speak. "Okay! Okay! I give up! I'll tell you what you want to know! Just stop! Stop Kurt! Please!"
Kurt stopped, but didn't move off of him. "What happened to my McQueen scarf, Blaine?"
He had to take a few more deep breaths before he could speak. "Jeff borrowed it for his date with Nick last night. He planned on putting it back before you got back from DC, but they had a klutzy waiter who spilled red wine on it! He took it to the dry cleaners to try and get the stain out. He should be back soon, but you returned four hours earlier than expected!"
Kurt began tickling him again.
"No! Stop! I told you the truth!" Blaine gasped out between renewed giggles.
"I know! This is for letting Jeff touch my stuff!"
"Okay you two!" an unexpected voice called out, causing both men to freeze and turn to look at David Thompson. "That's enough foreplay! I would tell you to get a room, but Wes wants to see you both, immediately." As he turned to leave, he glanced over his shoulder. "I'll tell him you need a few minutes to make yourselves presentable."
Neither of them moved or spoke for a moment as they watched him go, and then turned and looked at each other. Kurt was the first to speak, smiling down at Blaine. "I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?" he asked, thumb gently examining the swelling on Blaine's lip.
The dark haired man just shrugged. "I should have moved faster. What about you? I noticed you favoring your left shoulder after I threw you to the floor a few minutes ago."
"I'm fine. Nothing a hot shower won't take care of." He placed a gentle kiss on Blaine's wounded mouth, and then carefully moved off of him and got up, helping Blaine to his feet as well. "Come on, we don't want to keep Wes waiting. He probably has some news on the Meerkat."
"Mongoose, Kurt," Blaine corrected. "It's the Crimson Mongoose."
Kurt just shrugged, wincing slightly at the movement. "Mongoose, Meerkat, whatever. He's a terrorist."
Blaine shook his head and put his arm around Kurt's waist. "You're just jealous that the last time we fought him, he flirted with me."
"Jealous?" Kurt scoffed. "Of that piece of scum? Never! Besides, we never saw his face, he had it hidden by a mask. Probably to hide the fact he has a horse face, covered in pox marks."
Blaine laughed and gave him another quick kiss before letting him go and heading to the showers. "Definitely jealous."
…
Wes Montgomery was a no nonsense type of boss, and he took his responsibilities as Director of the world wide, top secret crime fighting organization Globally Authorized Youth Assets Security Force seriously, despite the ridiculous acronym. Whether it was a terrorist making threats against the entire world population, or what seemed like nothing more than a small chemical theft, Wes assigned his top agents to solve the mysteries and apprehend the culprits. Even if those agents are only teenagers.
He glanced across his desk at his two top agents, seventeen year old Kurt Hummel, and sixteen year old Blaine Anderson. Wes had personally head hunted the two boys, and oversaw their training at Dalton Academy himself. Kurt had just edged Blaine out as top of their class of trainees, but both had far exceeded Wes' expectations, and had quickly climbed their way into becoming the top agents in the world.
"Is this about the Crimson Mongoose?" Blaine asked.
"No," Wes said with a shake of his head. "Our agent on the inside hasn't managed to earn the trust of the top tier of the organization just yet. They assure me they are almost there, though."
Kurt snorted. "Shocking. They usually would have them eating out of their hands by now."
"Yes, well. They ran into a small hiccup. In the meantime, I have another assignment for you. What do you know about Nucleic Acid?" he asked as he handed them a file folder.
Frowning, Kurt opened the file, glancing over it as he spoke. "It's what allows life to exist. It's the primary ingredient in living cells. It's basically unwritten DNA."
Blaine was reading the file a little more thoroughly than Kurt had. "Why would anyone want to steal it? And why is this an issue? They only took a hundred containers."
Wes glanced at him. "Nucleic acid also happens to be the key ingredient in creating a virus. And normally a hundred containers going missing wouldn't be a huge issue. They would normally chalk it up to a miscount, or someone forgetting to write it off as contaminated because of incorrect storage. But when you have thirty seven different occurrences from different labs around the world, each with a hundred to a hundred and fifty containers going missing, it becomes alarming."
"Thirty seven?" Kurt said, rereading the file.
Wes nodded. "Six in the US, eight in Russia, two in South America, five in Japan, ten in China, and six across Europe, the most recent in London itself. The incident occurred at approximately four-fifteen AM, GMT, or about a quarter after eleven last night our time. Our British friends are analyzing the security footage, but I'm sending you over to look around and see what you can find. I have agents checking the other facilities.
"I've already made arrangements. Your cover story will be that you are two American honor students traveling to London to do research for your Ivy League college entrance essays, and wanted to tour the lab. While you are there, I want you to check out a possible new recruit. He's a scientific genius who may be able to help you figure out what the thieves intend to do with the acid."
He handed Kurt another file with a dossier in it. Kurt studied the photograph in the upper left hand corner. Dark hair, even more curly than Blaine's when it's ungelled. Sea colored eyes. The boy looked like what Kurt imagined any kid with his and Blaine's DNA mixed would look like. Then he read the rest of the file. "Fourteen, and already accepted at Oxford? And he turned it down?! Because he didn't want to leave his friends behind? Who is this kid?"
Blaine had been reading over his shoulder. "And he plays the drums? I think I like him already."
Wes nodded. "The head of the UK division has known him for several years now. He's unaware of our organization, but she was going to approach him soon anyway, now that he's old enough. She'll help you out with introductions."
Kurt nodded. "When do we leave?"
"How fast can you pack your bags?"
…
Charlie Spring sighed as he passed through the gates of Truham Grammar School for Boys, head down as he listened to Harry Greene's obnoxious laughter, hoping beyond hope the other boy wouldn't notice him. Charlie was one of Harry's favorite targets for hurling insults at. As if being the biggest nerd in the Northern, and possibly Southern Hemisphere as well, wasn't bad enough, being gay made him an even bigger target. It was a coin flip minute by minute whether Harry would choose homophobic taunts or jabs at Charlie's intellect and shyness, or both.
He was more than halfway across the quad when Harry spotted him, and called out. "Hey look, it's Charlie Spring! Hey Charlie, made any new scientific discoveries today? Have you found a cure for being gay yet?" Harry's cronies laughed at the jab. Charlie just hunched in on himself more, but another voice called out.
"Hey Harry, have you found a cure for being a dickhead yet?"
Charlie glanced to the side, where Tao Xu, one of his three best friends, was walking towards him. Well, he should say one of his three only friends. Four, if you included Tori, but sisters didn't really count, he supposed.
Harry had no pithy comeback to Tao's taunt, and the two boys managed to enter the building without further incident.
"You shouldn't provoke Harry like that," Charlie said. "One day he will retaliate."
Tao just shrugged. "He's a coward. He won't physically attack me. That's why he resorts to pathetic taunts instead."
Charlie sighed again. "Yes, and if you ignore his verbal jabs, he'll eventually get bored and stop, or at least move on to another target."
"True, but then he will never learn, and someone else will suffer."
Charlie felt a little pang of guilt at those words. Tao was right. "Sorry," he felt compelled to say.
Tao just waved him off. "Anyway, Elle wants us to wait for her by the gate after school today. A couple of her American penpals are in town for a few days, and she wants to introduce them."
Charlie looked up at the much taller boy and grinned. "How many penpals does she have? She seems to have so many from around the world."
Charlie was distracted as they stopped at his locker, and didn't see the wry expression Tao made before he answered. "What can I say, she's very friendly."
The warning bell for Forms rang just then, and Charlie said goodbye to his friend and rushed to class.
…
Elle Argent was a very intelligent young woman, but because of her looks and the fact that she was trans, people often overlooked her. Only those closest to her knew how smart she really was. She spoke sixteen languages, including French, Japanese, Korean, Russian, Italian, Spanish and three dialects of Chinese. She also was a speed reader and had an eidetic memory, and she was a whiz at mechanics.
But what made her the perfect person to run the UK division of G.A.Y.A.S.F. was her ability to read people's personalities. At sixteen, she was the youngest division head in the organization. Director Montgomery had hand picked her, and spent a year apprenticing her at his side. Some other division leaders had grumbled at her rapid promotion, but the agents under her respected her leadership, because she respected their talents.
One of her first decisions as division head had been to promote Tao to be her second in command. His quick wit and aloof personality balanced her perfectly, and they worked well together, and she trusted him more than anyone else.
They had been friends since Elle was twelve and Tao was eleven, along with Charlie and Isaac who had also been eleven when she had met them. Of course she hadn't been Elle then, but when she had told them a year and a half later that she thought of herself as a girl, they had all responded the same way.
"Oh. So, are we still on for movie night on Friday?" Tao had said, while Charlie had shrugged.
"Cool," he had said. "Can I borrow your sweater? I'm cold."
Issac hadn't even looked up from his book when he spoke. "Knew it."
That had also been around the time Wes had approached her about joining the agency. She'd told him about Tao, Isaac, and Charlie as well, but only Tao had been approached to join at the time. He had just turned thirteen, the bare minimum age to join, while Charlie and Isaac were still only twelve. Isaac had joined a year later. Elle would have approached Charlie when he turned thirteen, but he had been going through a rough time as he realized he was gay, and struggling to come out to his parents. She had decided to put it off until he turned fourteen, when most agents were recruited, but hadn't yet found a good way to bring it up to him.
Now, with Wes sending two American agents to investigate the theft, and needing someone with Charlie's credentials to help them, seemed like the perfect opportunity.
She had met Kurt and Blaine during her training with Wes, and they had both treated her with respect, even when Kurt had been kicking her ass in hand to hand combat training. Kurt had especially been impressed by her mechanical skills, having practically been raised in a garage by his widowed mechanic dad. They had bonded over a stripped down nineteen thirty six Chevy Roadster Kurt had recently acquired. She and Blaine had also bonded over a shared love of food, especially cronuts.
She had smiled and hugged both teens when they had arrived at headquarters.
"So," Kurt said, smiling. "What all can you tell us about this Charlie Spring? We read your file on him, of course, but what isn't in the file?"
"Well," she began. "Charlie has had a couple of rough years, first with coming to grips with his sexuality, and then with being outed without his permission at school. Before that he'd been teased constantly because of his IQ, but the bullying got really bad after the outing. It got to the point that Charlie stopped eating for a while, as a way to feel like he was in control of at least something, I assume. He's gotten better with Tao and my help.
"I think my transitioning and going to Higgs may have put a little more stress on him, but he's doing a lot better this year."
"Do you think that, mentally, he is ready to be recruited?" Blaine asked delicately.
Elle may have hesitated for a fraction of a second before answering, but she was certain of her answer. "I think it might be the best thing for him right now. I know he turned down Oxford because of Tao, Isaac and myself. What I didn't find out until just last night is that Cambridge also is trying to recruit him. Imperial College, too. But he's turned them all down. I think he's afraid of not having anyone he knows there with him.
"Bringing him into the organization with people he knows and is comfortable with will give him the intellectual challenge he needs, while not pushing him out of his boundaries."
Kurt nodded. "Okay. So what's the plan?"
"I told Tao to meet me with him by the school gate after class. He told Charlie I wanted to introduce him to a couple of my American penpals. We'll bring him back here, and brief him then."
…
Nick Nelson should be used to living a double life by now. At school he was called the Rugby King, and hung out with the same group of mates everyday, even though he didn't always feel like he fit in with them. He was athletic, fit, agile, and had a keen eye and nimble fingers. He was smart, but maths eluded him, and he always seemed to wait until the last minute to finish the homework for that particular class. And by last minute, he meant as he was walking to class in the hallway.
At home he was completely different. He laughed a lot more, felt more carefree, like he didn't have to pretend to be something he wasn't. Despite the fact that he was still pretending at home.
He loved his mum, and for her sake he pretended to be just a normal sixteen year old who played MarioKart, adored his dog, and did normal teenage things. But most normal teenagers didn't know five hundred different ways to build and defuse a bomb, nor how to properly use almost any weapon known to man. He could take out a target at two hundred yards with a tactical assault rifle, and disappear before anyone knew a shot had been fired. He was pretty good at hand to hand combat, as well.
Today though, he was getting his ass kicked by an American agent. Kurt Hummel was a legend in the organization. He had single handedly brought down the most ruthless terrorist ever to walk the planet, The Pink Dagger. On his very first mission, even!
"You keep dropping your left shoulder before you advance, broadcasting your intent," Kurt said, offering him advice.
Nick smiled. "I'm not used to being so close to my target. I've been trained, but never had to use hand to hand in the field."
"Never say never," Kurt said. "Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't. You have to be prepared for anything."
Nick nodded at the advice, but became distracted by movement coming from behind Kurt. Three people had just entered the training facility; Elle Argent, the boss, Tao Xu, her second in command, and…
"Oh shit!" Nick said when Kurt swept his legs out from under him while he was too busy staring at Charlie Spring, the boy who had made Nick realize he was bisexual.
…
Kurt smiled at the younger boy who sat across from him. Elle had explained to him about why he was here, and Kurt could tell Charlie was having a little trouble taking it all in.
"I know it's hard to believe that there is a secret world wide organization of teenage super spies. I had the same thought when I was first approached."
"Actually," Charlie said, "My first thought was, 'you call yourselves Gay As F?' And then the fact that you are a bunch of teenage spies set in."
Tao snorted. "I told you it was a stupid acronym," he muttered to Elle, who just rolled her eyes.
"The point is, Charlie," Blaine said, setting a cup of tea in front of the boy, "We need someone with your expertise to help us with our current mission."
"The theft of the Nucleic Acid?" Charlie asked.
"Yes. We watched the security footage from the time of the theft, and found no suspicious activity, which in and of itself is suspicious."
"What do you mean there was nothing suspicious?" Charlie said, frowning.
Kurt pulled up the footage on the large computer screen on the wall. "The theft was discovered shortly after four in the morning, when the lab usually sends out shipments of various chemicals and compounds to other facilities. We've watched every delivery that night, and none of them were large enough to accommodate for a hundred containers to go missing. The largest shipment would have only been about the size of twenty containers, and most were smaller than a single container."
Elle nodded and continued the narrative. "We contacted every recipient for those deliveries, and each of them have verified that what they received was not the Nucleic Acid, but the chemicals and compounds they were expecting, and nothing was missing from their shipments."
"What about from earlier in the night?" Charlie mused.
Tao shook his head. "Nothing caught on camera. Either the culprit knew the locations and angles of all the security cameras, or they somehow magically made the containers disappear. And I don't believe in magic."
"Kurt and I are going to be going into the facility," Blaine explained, "posing as a couple of Honors students from the US, to try and figure out how they got the containers out. Since you are much more knowledgeable about this, we want you to be an extra pair of eyes and ears, and tell us what you see."
Kurt nodded. "I'll be wearing a special pair of glasses with a micro camera and mic embedded in the frames, so you can see what I see on the screen here, and we will have receivers in our ears so we can hear what you say."
"So, I don't even have to go in the building with you?"
"Better you remain here, where you will be safe," Elle said.
Charlie nodded. "When are you going in?"
"Tomorrow," Kurt said.
"Okay," Charlie said. "What do I tell my mum and dad?"
Elle smiled. "You can tell them another student needs tutoring in maths, and that you are staying after school to help, and then going to Tao's for dinner." She glanced out to the training center, where Nick Nelson was lacing up his shoes. "I even have a student in mind who actually does need tutoring."