A/N: I apologise for the slight delay, but this month has been a very hectic one for me, and it's been quote hard to get myself into the correct head space for writing (so I really hope that this chapter is okay). This is a pretty long chapter - and is very dialogue heavy - but I really want to explore the moments that the show didn't give us while also making sure that each scene has a purpose and that the story still moves forward...it's also very dialogue heavy. Still, I hope you enjoy.
Also, thank you all so much for all of the kind reviews. I cannot tell you how encouraging they are, and they really mean the world to me.
Flux
Chapter two - in which emotions are explored and turmoil is confronted
That evening, after an eventful day of announcements, telegrams and letter-writing Cora caught Robert moving up the stairs shortly after the ring of the dressing gong.
"Robert" she beckoned, and his eyes lit up when they met hers.
He moved back down the stairs to meet her, and he stood so close that Cora momentarily held her breath.
"Did you tell Carson and Mrs Hughes?"
"I did" Robert answered with a warm smile, "and they both send us their congratulations"
"How nice of them. They weren't too scandalised then?"
"I don't think so, or at least they didn't seem to be. But you know Carson, if there is even a whiff of scandal it can be read on his face from a mile away"
Cora chuckled in response. She did adore Carson and his heady sense of emotion, even though he would likely be offended if anyone ever told him that he possessed such a trait. It would not do for Downton to have an overly emotional butler, after all.
Robert offered his wife his arm, and the pair began to ascend the stairs.
"Have the other servants been told?"
"Carson assured me he would let them all know before dinner, particularly O'Brien. Which is good really, I don't know if I can do many more of these announcements today" he said lightly.
"Well, we could always switch places. I'll do the announcements and letter-writing, and you can carry the baby for the next five months" Cora teased.
Robert shot his wife a smirk.
"Normally I would rise to such a challenge, but despite its impossible nature, I have to admit I don't think I would be much good at it…I wouldn't know where to begin"
"Well, keep that in mind the next time you start complaining" she teased.
"Yes, dear" he sarked good-naturedly, which earned him a hefty eye roll from Cora as they walked into her bedroom. They still had a few moments before Bates and O'Brian would arrive to help them change.
"Did you send the telegram to Mary?" Cora asked as she sat herself at her dressing table.
"I did. Hopefully it will get to her soon. I tried to go and tell Mama in person, but she had already left for whatever ghastly dinner she is going to tonight, so I left a message with the butler, so she should know before the day is over too"
"You tried your best, hopefully it's enough to stop her chastising us"
"I doubt it" Robert chuckled.
"I could go and see her tomorrow, perhaps while you're speaking to Matthew"
"You don't want to be there when I tell him?"
"I would like to be, but I think he would feel more comfortable if he spoke to you man-to-man"
"Perhaps you're right. And I know Mama would appreciate the visit"
"That's settled then"
"She won't be too harsh on you" Robert assured, "I know she's never admitted it to either of us before, but she always showed her softer side when you were pregnant"
"I don't remember that" Cora laughed.
"I'll admit that her 'softer side' may not live up to its name, but it's quite true"
"I'll be sure to look for evidence of this so-called softer side tomorrow then"
"Be sure that you do" he joked, "right, I had best leave you now, the last thing I want is another stern kicking-out from O'Brian"
Cora chuckled.
"She does her job well"
"She does that part of her job a little too well" he grumbled.
"Don't grumble, darling, it's very unbecoming of an earl"
Robert was about to offer a retort when the pair heard the unmistakable sound of O'Brian's boots clacking down the hall.
"Quick, before she scolds you" Cora whispered.
Robert turned to exit into his dressing room, but quickly doubled back to press a cheeky kiss to his wife's lips. Cora looked at him in shock, but her eyes betrayed her true desire to have him kiss her again.
"See you downstairs" he winked.
Then he was gone, and O'Brian entered the bedroom only a second later.
"Good evening, M'lady"
"Good evening, O'Brian" replied Cora as she desperately hoped her maid hadn't noticed the slight blush that lay on her cheeks.
"Mr Carson told me the news about the baby, M'lady. I'd like to offer you and his Lordship my congratulations" she said, though her voice didn't carry much emotion.
"That's kind of you, thank you, O'Brian"
"Is there anything Doctor Clarkson would like me to know?"
"I don't think so. Life is to carry on as normal for me, so I doubt there will be any change for you either"
"Very good, M'lady. I'm sure it goes without saying, but if there is anything extra I can do for you during this time, please do let me know"
"I will, thank you, O'Brian"
After dressing Cora, O'Brian stood outside puffing erratically on a cigarette. The July heat still hung in the air, and she angrily wiped the sweat from her brow before blowing out some smoke like it was fire.
"What's got you in such a mood?" a scheming voice asked.
She looked up and saw Thomas sauntering towards her, a freshly lit cigarette hanging from his lips.
"Should you be smoking this close to their dinner time?"
"Not really, but it seems that Lady Sybil is a bit delayed getting downstairs, so I have a few moments before Mr Carson comes looking for me, so I thought I'd come and see how you were"
O'Brian rolled her eyes,
"Pull the other one it's got bells on it" she scoffed.
"Do you not think me generous, Miss O'Brian?"
"You and I both know you're not. You're a schemer"
"And so are you" he defended.
"I never said that I weren't"
"Can I assume that your violent smoking and bad mood has something to do with the news regarding her ladyship?"
"Bloody pregnant" she shook her head, "when you work for a lady of her age who already has three children you expect to avoid all of that, but now I'm lumped with it"
"I doubt it'll be that bad" probed Thomas, attempting to get a rise out of his companion.
"It will be. Vomiting, cravings and back pain; it'll be a boat load of extra duties and irritation. It's the last thing I need. Who does she think she is anyway, getting pregnant at her age?"
"She's in love with her husband, what's so wrong about that?" Thomas provoked. He knew he was getting to her.
O'Brian snorted at him; she no more believed the words coming out of his mouth than he did.
"She's been damn foolish, if you ask me. I already do so much dancing around because she shares a bed with his lordship, and now I'm being lumped with the consequences"
"Then resign if you're that ticked off"
"I can't. Everyone would see straight through it, and I can't compromise my reference"
"Then I'm afraid you're stuck with it"
"I worked with a pregnant lady a few years before I came here. She was a ghastly piece of work, and the pregnancy did her no favours. It was months of shouting and demanding, and me having to constantly pretend like my words would make her feel better. What do you say to a pregnant woman when she asks you if she's fat?"
"Well, you lie if you want to keep your job"
"And lie I did. But that seemed to make just as irritable as if I'd told her she was. I thought she'd calm down a bit after the wee bugger was born, but it seemed as though her hormonal imbalance was a delightful new permanent feature"
"Just remember that her ladyship is fond of you"
"Not likely" O'Brian scoffed.
"No, she is" Thomas pressed, "Think about it, his lordship doesn't much like you and I'm sure the others aren't too keen either…"
"Are you trying to make me feel better? Because you're on thin bloody ice!"
"Just listen. The household may not like you, but you still have a job and you have done for the last ten years, if they all hated you, you wouldn't still be here. Besides, I've heard her talk kindly of you"
"And your point is?"
"My point is that her ladyship is on your side, so you have the upper hand. Be a good lady's maid, be dutiful and keep her on your side"
"Why, what are you planning?"
"Nothing. Nothing yet, anyway. But it will always pay to have her on your side"
"You're a strange one"
"I know how to get what I want, Miss O'Brian. You know that just as well as anyone"
He stubbed out his cigarette before giving O'Brian a pointed look and returning to the servant's hall.
Sybil was the last to join the family in the drawing room before dinner; Anna had apologised to her profusely, but Sybil simply chuckled and told her it didn't matter, she was sure her family could occupy themselves for twenty more minutes. Anna simply smiled and thanked her for her understanding, though it was no secret to anyone upstairs or down that out of the Crawleys, Sybil cared the least about tradition and rules, and saw no reason for stress when she was only dining with her parents and her sister.
"I know today has been rather a special one, but there is no need to break our backs over punctuality that dictates our arrival down to the last second, besides, after London I think they'll appreciate an evening that is a bit more evenly paced"
"As long as you think so, M'lady" Anna had replied, "Oh, and I didn't get a chance to say to Lady Edith, but please to pass on my heartiest congratulations to His Lordship and Her Ladyship"
"I will, Anna – thank you"
She had made it down to dinner sooner than expected, she had told Anna not to bother too much with her hair and she only wore a simple dress; she knew no one would say anything since it was just the four of them.
"Sorry if I'm a bit late" she excused as she made her way into the drawing room.
"Not at all, Darling" Cora smiled from her place on the sofa, "I don't think dinner is quite ready yet anyway"
"Oh, thank goodness" she chuckled, "That's a nice frock, Mama, is it new?"
"Yes, I ordered it to arrive while we were in London; I thought I'd get some use out of it while I still can" she joked.
"You make it sound like you're doomed to some terrible fate" Edith commented.
"And that just goes to show that I'm the only one in the room who has been pregnant" she laughed, and Edith looked horrified, "Oh, Edith I'm only teasing"
"Isn't your job to encourage us down the path of motherhood?"
"I'm sure you won't need your mother's encouragement" Robert chimed in.
"I think Edith might after Mama's comments" laughed Sybil.
"Listen girls, being a mother is probably the most rewarding part of my life, but you must allow me the opportunity to dread the inevitable weight gain and back pain"
"We have all this to look forward to!" teased Robert and Cora short him a stern look, though her eyes gave away that she was just as amused by his comment as he was.
"Are you dreading it, really?" asked Sybil.
"Dreading is a strong word. I wouldn't put it quite like that, but like most good things, pregnancy does have its downsides, but nothing compares to that feeling at the end of it when you finally have your darling child with you"
"I quite agree" said Robert.
"I'm glad granny isn't here to hear all this emotional talk; she'd have a heart attack" added Edith.
"Yes, I think you might be right" Robert agreed.
It was then that Carson entered and informed them that their dinner was ready, and they made their way to the dining room.
"It seems strange to be having such a quiet dinner after a London season" Sybil mused as the family sat down to dinner.
"I'm sure you find it quite a relief" Cora chuckled.
"Sort of. It's nice to have a chance to breathe and to get away from all of the socialising and endless dinners, but I found it all rather exciting"
"So, you're to be a woman with a fast-paced life then?" Robert asked as he took a sip of wine.
"I don't know if I necessarily want my life to be fast paced, but I definitely enjoy it when my time is occupied. It's being idle I don't like"
"That's dangerous talk" Edith sniffed.
"Is it? I should think it good that our sort of people want to have something to occupy their time, especially if it's something meaningful to them"
"Isn't that rather subjective?" her sister questioned.
"Perhaps, but surely finding a purpose is better than spending one's time just going to dinner and reading books?"
"Dinner would be socialising and reading books would be the consumption of arts, many people find those sorts of things very valuable"
"Oh, you know that's not what I mean" Sybil huffed.
"Enough of the bickering, you two" Cora chastised lightly.
"Quite right. And be grateful your grandmother isn't here. You'd both be in for quite the lecture if she heard all of this modern talk"
Sybil could only smirk at her father's words.
"Anyway, I doubt I shall be the topic of conversation in London for very long now that there is a new Crawley on the way" Sybil giggled, and she'd swear she saw her mother blush.
"Have you started the inevitable mountain of letter-writing?" Edith asked her father.
"I have, mostly to our closer friends and relatives – Shrimpie, for example – I never need to tell too many people because the news always gets around by itself. And your grandmother will be informed this evening, so no doubt she will be paying us a visit soon" Robert replied.
"Do you think we'll be inundated with visits now?" was Sybil's next question.
"I hope not" Cora said lightly, "I can't imagine people will have much interest since this is child number four"
"But surely having an eighteen year gap between this child and your last will be all the fascination they need" Edith reasoned.
"Edith don't be unkind" Robert warned.
"I don't mean to be, but surely you both understand the way people will perceive this"
"She's right, Robert" Cora soothed.
"What time is Matthew coming tomorrow?" questioned Sybil.
"Early. I want to let him know as soon as possible so that he doesn't think I've neglected him. And I'd hate for him to somehow find out from another source. It's already bad enough that the entire household and half the servants know before he does…"
"You're doing the right thing by taking your time with it and not dropping this revelation on him while we're all here merrily celebrating the London season and toasting to the baby's health" Cora assured as she studied the troubled look on her husband's face. She hated seeing him face such turmoil, after all, she knew that he had come to care for Matthew like a son, even if he never said it.
"Mama's right. If someone were to tell me that my life was about to change, I should hate to be told in front of an audience, especially if that audience were all sat around a dinner table" Edith agreed.
"Well, I appreciate the support, but it's going to be a difficult conversation regardless"
"It will, but I know that he'll be understanding about it" his wife told him.
"I think so too. Anyway, I think we should do what Mama said and toast to the baby's health" Sybil beamed.
"Oh, Sybil" her mother breathed.
"What a marvellous idea" Robert agreed, flashing a smile twice as bright as his daughter's. He gently raised his wine glass and gazed at his wife. "To the baby" he toasted.
"To the baby" they all echoed before they smiled and sipped their wine.
Robert couldn't seem to stop himself from smiling as he walked into Cora's bedroom that night. He found her already in bed, her undivided attention focused on the book in her lap. He always adored seeing her so content. It was strange really, they had been through so much, they had travelled the world, had three beautiful children and had been to more lavish parties than he could count, and yet it was something as simple as her reading a book under the soft lamp light that always enthralled him. To him, seeing her so relaxed and so natural, to see her in a way that no one else ever would – as a wife – could warm him more than any dinner or any ray of sunlight in any exotic country.
He hurriedly removed his slippers and dressing gown before he went to her, and he pecked her on the cheek as soon as he'd climbed into bed. He felt her lean into his lips ever so slightly, and it was all he could do to not pull her into his arms and kiss her silly. But it seemed as though Cora had half read his mind, for without a word, she placed her book on the bedside table and shuffled against him and rested her head on his shoulder. Still sitting up in the bed, Robert moved his arm around her shoulders and held her securely to him and his nose nestled into her hair.
"You seemed awfully cosy" Robert commented, and without looking at him, Cora could tell that he was smiling.
"I don't think O'Brian would have left until she was sure that I was getting into bed. I do think she is going to baby me" she chuckled softly.
"I'd be surprised if that woman could baby anyone"
"Oh, Robert, you don't know her like I do. She does have a caring side to her, I just don't think she likes to show it"
"Well, she's doing a very good job at concealing it"
"She was very kind to me before dinner, she gave me her well wishes and insisted she will do whatever it takes to see me through this. So don't be ungenerous, she is going to be the one looking after me through this pregnancy, you know" Cora chastised.
He subconsciously tightened his hold of her.
"I will be the one looking after you" he said lowly.
Cora brought a hand up to caress the arm that was holding her.
"I know you will, darling" she replied, trying not to sound too serious, "but give O'Brian some of the credit, after all, you won't be the one dressing you"
Robert smirked, and his response seemed to fall out of his lips before he could engage proper thought,
"You're right, I'm far better at undressing you"
"Really, Robert? You have been so vulgar today" she laughed.
"What was it you said to me this afternoon? I can talk to you about anything?" Robert teased.
"And I also said I didn't expect you to take me up on the offer"
"Then how little you know me"
"On the contrary, Lord Grantham, given our current circumstances, I'd say that I know you rather well"
"Touché" he chuckled.
It was then the Robert move his arm from around her shoulders so that his hand rested lightly on his wife's abdomen. He could feel no sign of their child, but the knowledge that there was a new life growing under his palm – one that they had created solely from their love – was enough to take his breath away. Cora's hand rested on top of his and he laced his fingers through hers; he was almost glad that he couldn't see her face, for he didn't think he'd be able to handle the love that he new would be dancing in her eyes.
"I know I must have said it a hundred times already, but I truly cannot believe it" Robert breathed.
"It's okay, neither can I"
"It's funny really, but sitting down and processing it all at the end of the day makes me feel as though I'm reliving it all over again"
"I know what you mean, I still don't think I've quite taken it all in, but when I remember I'm filled with so much joy"
"They will be so loved" Robert smiled.
"They will, like all our others, they will"
"I thought the girls handled it well, considering"
"Me too. I'm glad that Edith seemed to come around, and Sybil's reaction was so endearing – what a sweet girl she is"
"She seemed so genuinely excited; I fear our new addition will never be rid of her" Robert joked.
"But how lucky will they be to be so close to their older sister. I know that Sybil will dote on them so"
"She always has been a gentle soul" he hummed.
"Maybe that's because she didn't have another sister who was one year her senior to constantly compete with"
"Yes, poor Edith, I feel as though she had it rough sometimes"
"But she certainly gave as good as she got. Mary wasn't always the nicest to her"
"She has a strong head on her shoulders, that's for sure" Robert said with a nod, "I do hate that she has to find out via telegram"
"So do I, but you know she'd resent it if we didn't tell her, and no doubt your mother will write to Rosamond as soon as she hears, so she would have found out anyway – better from your telegram than your sister's gossip"
"I hope she takes it well…but I fear that's wishful thinking" Robert sighed.
"I think you're right. She'll understand just as well as anyone else that it puts Matthew's prospects in such a great deal of danger"
"I fear there will be resentment too, and judgement, I know she won't mean it, and I know she will come around, but she does seem to feel things so deeply"
"I'm sure you're going to tell me that's my fault and that it comes from her American genetics"
"How did you know?" he replied as he smirked into her hair.
"I don't suppose we've had any updates on where Mary and Matthew stand?" Cora asked him.
She knew that there may be tensions when she found out about the baby, but the fact that her daughter had not already accepted Matthew's proposal unnerved her, and suddenly the dreadful night involving Mr Pamuk came flooding back into her mind. She hoped that Mary was not allowing such a horrid tragedy to stand in her way of happiness.
"I've heard nothing about it since Sybil's ball. I thought it seemed so set between them, but the fact that there hasn't been any official announcement concerns me slightly. And I dread to think how she will react when she finds out about the baby"
"Do you really think she will cast him away if his prospects are challenged? Surely you don't think she was considering marrying him just because he was the heir?"
"No, I don't think that…" he paused for a moment and his turmoil twisted inside his gut, "…I don't think Mary could ever marry someone just for gain, I think there is genuine emotion between her and Matthew, but whether she likes it or not, this will make her look at him differently; whether it will make a difference is something only time will reveal. Not to mention there will be talk, I wouldn't put it past Mama or Rosamond to leap to her ear and remind her of what she'll lose if she marries Matthew, and he turns out to be just a solicitor"
"I hope for their sake you're wrong"
"So do I. And perhaps I'm being unfair, or at the very least wary…I suppose there must be something else she is considering if she has been putting him off before any of us knew that you were pregnant"
"I can't think what else…" Cora answered, her voice suddenly lower in volume.
"Cora?"
"How do you think Matthew will take it?"
"I don't know. How is one supposed to react when you find out the title and estate you've been promised could be snatched away from you and given to someone who hasn't even been born yet? Still, he is a fair and honest man, I have no doubt that he will respond with nothing but respect and proper decorum"
"It's nice to hear you praise him so openly"
"He has taken on a lot since I first contacted him, and truth be told, I'm rather proud"
"So am I" Cora said warmly, "There is a small part of me that hopes we have another girl so that Matthew can get what he's proved he's so worthy of"
"Does that mean you've already started hoping for a son?"
Cora fell quiet then – as Robert knew she would. He hadn't truly wanted to ask the question, as he knew that it would only lead to a solemn response, but he knew that Cora still held a lot of baggage from their first few years of marriage, and he thought it best to address them.
"I think you know the answer to that" she replied, her voice barely audible.
"I want you to talk to me about it, Cora, I know you've had it bottled up inside you for so long"
She gripped his hand tighter before building up the courage to speak,
"You know that I always wanted to give you a son, Robert. Even before I became your wife, I was always told that it would be my duty to provide an heir to the Crawley estate. I only ever longed for a healthy and loving family, but I had countless people around me reminding me that the next one ought to be a boy. And I know you wanted a son too…"
"Cora that's -"
"-No, I know you'll try and make me feel better, and I know that you would never trade our girls for anything on this earth, but I also know that you have always longed for a son of your own, I could always see it in your eyes. I truly wanted to grant that wish for you"
"You have granted my every wish for happiness, my dear, I can assure you of that"
"I know you mean that. But it wasn't just your wish…"
Robert knew that she was referring to his mother.
"Mama was unfair to you" he noted.
"She made me feel like a failure, Robert. I tried not to speak of it, but having all of that expectation forced on me, and then to fall short on my achievements made me feel utterly horrid, and it was a feeling that I couldn't seem to shake for so long…"
"I am so sorry, my dear. It wasn't fair, absolutely none of it was fair, and I truly hope that over the years I have somehow managed to convince you that everything you have done as my wife has been perfect. You could give me a hundred daughters, or a hundred sons and I would love you no less. Since the day I fell in love with you, my only goal has been your happiness"
Cora blinked away a stray tear before finally turning in his arms and pressing a soft kiss to his lips, and when they parted, she kept her face by his and simply drank him in. Sometimes she was terrified by just how much love she had for him.
"You have convinced me" she whispered, "I have never doubted your love for me, nor have I ever doubted the happiness that we share. But I want to give you the gift of a son. Even if there was nothing to inherit, I know that you would still want one"
"I want you to hope for whatever your heart desires, but please don't be upset if it doesn't end up being so. Making sure that both you and the baby are healthy is all I care about"
Cora leaned in to kiss him again, as it seemed to be the only way she could express the emotion that was bursting in her chest. The kiss was languid, but she poured every ounce of her love and adoration into it, drawing them both into an abyss. Robert responded with equal fever and skated his tongue across her lower lip. Cora immediately parted her lips and granted him access, and as their tongues danced, they found themselves falling deeper and deeper into frenzy. Kissing him was deliciously addicting, and she was convinced that she'd rather pass out from the lack of oxygen than break the contact. All she could think about was how much she adored him, the reassurance he had just given her, and how they would both be blessed by the arrival of their fourth child come the end of the year. Robert moaned beside himself, a moan that rippled through his chest, as he spread his hand in star-like patterns through her hair, caressing it in the way he always loved to when they were intimate. But before they could get too carried away, Cora pulled away and smirked at him.
"Careful" she warned, her chest heaving slightly, "it's ministrations such as this that caused all of this"
He chuckled lowly,
"I know, I know"
"Well, you didn't seem to know when I broke the news to you this afternoon"
"It was just a shock; we've gone this long without our intimacy leading to anything and now this"
She tapped him on the nose playfully.
"All I'm saying is that you need to control yourself" she teased.
"Oh, is that so? I suppose this pregnancy was all my doing, was it?"
"That's right" she smirked.
"If I remember correctly, Lady Grantham, it wasn't only my romantic advances that have been taking place recently. I can recall many a night when you have barely given me time to think before trying to absolutely ravish me" he teased, his voice now carrying his words in a deep baritone.
"I don't know what you're talking about" she remarked as the blush on her cheeks grew.
"Oh-ho, I think you do. Sometimes I'd walk in here and I could tell just from the look in your eyes how desperate you were for me"
"Nonsense" she sniffed.
"And even if I am telling some little white lies, I don't recall any protests when I've tried to have my wicked way with you"
"Robert!" she practically squealed, and Robert couldn't help but laugh at her reaction to his teasing.
"Well, if you makes you feel better, darling, I shan't touch you anymore" he joked.
"Never? Wouldn't you miss me?"
"Incredibly so" he replied, his voice now serious.
"How much?"
With that, he flipped them over, pinned her to the mattress and hovered over her.
"Let me show you how much" he purred.
Robert awoke early the next morning – he had left Cora sleeping peacefully in their bed – and made his way to the breakfast table. As the summer light illuminated the main hall, he took a moment to ponder the day he had ahead of him. He had sent for Matthew and would have to break the news to him. He sighed inwardly at the prospect. The poor chap, Robert thought; he had been shown so much love and given so many promises, now he was about to take them all away and leave confusion and uncertainty in their place.
Try as he might to avoid the feeling, Robert felt guilty. He knew that he didn't have to, after all, everything that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours had come about completely unintentionally and was as much of a surprise to Cora and himself as it was to everyone else, but alas, he couldn't help it. He supposed, in way, it was a good thing, at the very least it showed that he cared a great deal about Matthew and wanted only the best for him and for the future owner of his estate (should they turn out to be different people). He knew that Matthew would be a perfect fit for the job, for he had met few men of his age who were as upstanding and kind-hearted. But well-suited as Matthew may be, Robert also knew that a son of his own would take over in a way that no one else could. It was a shame that it couldn't be Mary, he thought. Should his daughter be allowed inherit the entire issue of the entail and his new heir could be completely avoided; not to mention the fact that Mary's resilience and no-nonsense attitude would no doubt make her a firm head of the estate. But it was not to be, and he knew he had a very difficult conversation ahead of him.
"How is Mama?" Sybil asked when Robert sat down to breakfast, she was the only one present.
"She's well. She's resting at the moment"
"Is she terribly tired?"
Robert resisted the urge to smirk.
"I'm sure she is. It's going to be a lot of extra strain for her. I've told her that she needs to listen to Doctor Clarkson and rest as much as she can, but let's see if she'll actually listen" he joked.
"Was mama always stubborn when she was expecting?"
Robert let out a small huff of laughter.
"And then some. I don't think there's a single force on this earth that could restrain your mother to bed rest without first taking away the use of her arms and legs"
"My birth was terribly difficult for her, wasn't it?"
Robert was pensive for a moment. She was right. In fact, Sybil's had nearly taken Cora's life.
"Please don't worry yourself, my darling girl. Your mother is well aware that this pregnancy will be more difficult than any of the others, and she knows that she must rest as much as she can…even if it will drive her to insanity"
"And Doctor Clarkson is quite sure that she will be alright?"
Robert smiled warmly,
"He is quite sure. Besides, he will be checking on your mother regularly, and he will be there to listen to all of us if we have any concerns"
"Okay" Sybil said with a smile, convinced of her mother's well-being.
When Robert had finished his breakfast, he was informed by Carson that Matthew had arrived and was waiting in the library. Robert thanked his butler, and without wasting any more time, he went to greet him.
"Good morning, Matthew"
"Cousin Robert, how are you?"
"I'm well, thank you. It's always good to get a bit of rest after a London season. How have you been since we've been away?"
"I've been well, thank you. Life has certainly been a bit quieter, but sometimes it's nice to take a bit of a back seat"
"I'm sure, I'm sure"
"I heard that you wated to see me?"
"Yes, I did. I have something I need to tell you, but unfortunately, it's rather a delicate matter"
"Gosh, should I be sitting down?"
"I know you're joking, but I think it might be best if you did sit down"
Matthew said nothing, he only looked at Robert with confusion.
"Come into the library with me"
The two men walked in silence to the library, both of their hearts pounding over the news they were about to discuss. Robert swallowed hard as they entered the room and moved towards the sofas, he hated this sort of thing, the English simply weren't built for difficult conversations. Not only that, but he felt as though he was somehow going back on a promise; in a way he was. He knew deep down none of it could be helped, but that didn't make the ache any lighter.
The two men sat facing each other on the sofas and Matthew seemed to forget his decorum, for as soon as he sat down, he began to rub his hands across his legs nervously. Robert cleared his throat before looking across to him.
"I'll be completely honest with you, Matthew, there's no easy for me to say this, so I'm just going to come straight out with it"
"Please do" replied Matthew, though he couldn't bring himself to look at Robert.
"We had a visit from Doctor Clarkson yesterday and he told us that Cora is pregnant"
Mathew raised his head, his wide eyes finally meeting Robert's.
"Cora?"
"Yes"
"She's pregnant?"
"She is. It came as quite surprise to us all"
Robert could see the cogs in Matthew's head turning, as though he was already thinking about the potential consequences.
"I'm sure you already understand what this will mean if the child is a boy"
"I do" answered Matthew solemnly – incapable of saying anything more than two words.
"I am sorry, my dear boy"
"No…you have no reason to be sorry"
"I disagree. Even if Cora's pregnancy and the rules of inheritance can't be helped, I feel as though I've led you on"
"How so?"
"I appreciate you being coy, but let's be realistic. I brought you here with the promise that you were my heir, that the title and this entire estate would one day be yours. I promised you an entire future, and now I may have to take it all back"
"I disagree" Matthew insisted as his energy returned, "I know why you may feel the way that you do. But from my perspective, you have been nothing but generous. I can't imagine how you must have felt when you realised that a perfect stranger would be the one to inherit your estate – that you should have to hand over your home to someone you'd never met. But you gave me a chance. You took me under your wing and allowed me to establish myself here. You made sure that I became a part of your family and allowed me to feel like I belong here. I think you have to be truly noble to do something like that"
"Do you really mean it?"
"Even if I am to lose my claim to the title, I will always be grateful for the generosity that you and your family have shown me. And if my time at Downton does have to come to an end, I consider myself very lucky to have called it home for as long as I have"
"Well, that means a great deal to me, Matthew – I can't tell you how much. But if the child is a boy, I hope it won't mean a permanent end to your time at Downton; you are still family, and you and your mother will always be welcome here"
"I appreciate that, Cousin Robert"
"But, you know, the child may not be a boy"
"Perhaps, but I think you want it to be" Matthew answered, though not unkindly.
Robert stayed silent. As much as he loved Matthew, he would never be able to deny the fact that he would truly adore a son and heir of his own.
"Why don't we take a walk while we talk about this further? I think the fresh air would do us both some good"
"Good idea"
The two men walked steadily out of the library and through the front door that Carson loyally opened for them. Matthew was grateful of the fresh air indeed, and the crunch of the gravel beneath his feet reminded him that regardless of the news he'd received, and no matter what the outcome would be, the world would always keep on turning, and his life would continue.
"Is Cousin Cora well?"
"She is, thank you. She's resting at the moment"
"Has Doctor Clarkson given her any instructions on how to look after herself?"
"Not a great deal. He wants her to take it easy, of course, not just because of her age but because of previous complications?"
"Previous complications?"
"Yes, we had a bit of a scare with Sybil. She was born a bit too early, and the birth was very hard on Cora. At one point we weren't sure how well they would both pull through"
"I'm sorry to hear that"
"It was quite a ghastly time for us. But they came out the other side of and are both healthy now, but it is keeping us a bit unsettled"
"I'm sure it does. Please be sure she doesn't overdo it"
Robert chuckled,
"I will certainly try, but taming Cora is like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands"
Matthew laughed. He was glad that he could talk so honestly with Robert, especially in the face of such change.
"I shall have to give her my congratulations"
"She would like that. And she'll be glad to know that you're not too torn up about this"
"I see no point in fretting over something that I can't control, especially something that may not even happen"
"I think that's very wise, and I admire your will"
"It's partially selfish, I should hate to drive myself mad thinking about it each and every day. But I know that you will all rest much easier too if I can at least pretend to be unphased by it"
"I appreciate the sentiment, but please don't be a martyr. If you do feel bothered or anxious, I should like for you to talk to us about it"
"Talking things through has never been a favourite activity of the English" Matthew chuckled.
"Perhaps not, but I feel like I can make an exception in this circumstance. And if not, my lovely American wife is always happy to talk about the things that the English deem too uncomfortable"
"Then thank god for Cousin Cora"
"Thank god indeed" Robert ruminated.
The pair continued to cross the vast lawns that surrounded the house, and Downton shrunk more and more from their view. A light breeze picked up and served as a reminder that true warmth was a rarity for them even in the summer.
"Is she hopping for any particular gender?"
Robert was silent for a moment and the conversation he had had with his wife the previous night replayed in his mind.
"I'm not sure" he lied, "I do think she would like a boy; it would certainly shake things up, but the main thing we're focused on is mother and child remaining safe and healthy"
"Of course" Matthew nodded.
"I want to say that I'll make provision for you if it's a boy and you get pushed out"
"Don't worry, I know you can't. If any man living understands the strength of the entail, it's me"
"I can give you Crawley house for life, if it's a help"
Matthew only hummed thoughtfully, too embarrassed to act as though his survival depended on Robert's handouts.
"Have you heard from Mary?" he asked.
"No" Robert replied, "have you?"
Matthew shook his head.
Robert looked down glumly. He had truly hoped that the two of them would get settled now that so much time had passed since Matthew's proposal, but with Mary still in London, it seemed as though she was avoiding him. He couldn't think why she was doing it, in fact he hoped that he was wrong. But it didn't seem that way. He knew that the news of Cora's pregnancy would complicate matters further. And poor Matthew, try as he might to hide it, he could see the turmoil building in the boy's eyes. He was facing not only the potential loss of his inheritance, but now the potential loss of his sweetheart.
A/N: There you go; a *lot* of talking and a few different scenes there, but I truly hope it was worth the way. The story will start moving forward a bit more from the next chapter.
As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and feel free to let me know what you think :)