Six months later
AAAA
Derek puts on the last shirt and closes the suitcase on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. At that moment Meredith enters the room looking tired, she gives a soft smile to her boyfriend who says:
"You still have time to pack a bag and come with me."
"I've already volunteered to work over Christmas and New Years."
"But I'm sure Richard would make na exception for you."
Derek says stroking her shoulders gently. Meredith walks away taking off her coat and says:
"I don't want him to do this."
"Because you have no interest in spending Christmas with me."
"Derek!"
"You're going to deny it?! We've been together for almost three years and you're still acting like you're afraid to commit. You're not even interested in meeting my son!"
Derek speaks irritably. Meredith is also exalted:
"Can you blame me for not wanting to be a part of this?"
"This is my life! For anyone who claims to love me, you should understand."
"I love you, but it's hard for me and you knew that when we started. You knew I would never be Addison."
"I never asked you to be Addison!"
"Of course not, otherwise I would have slept with Owen during one of his trips to New York!"
Derek feels like he's been slapped in the face, he takes a deep breath and approaches speaking with disgust:
"This is over the line! Addison is not to blame for our problems."
The boyfriend's tone and facial expression send shivers down Meredith's spine, she swallows and tries to apologize:
"Der, I'm sorry..."
"No!"
Derek speaks angrily and raises his hand in a gesture for her not to come any closer. He takes the suitcase off the bed and puts it on the floor while speaking in the same tone as before:
"Have a merry Christmas, Meredith. And if you want to sleep with Owen, feel free."
With that he turns his back on her. In one last attempt, Meredith asks in exasperation:
"Do you want me to take you to the airport?"
"I already called a taxi."
Derek speaks in a dry tone without turning around and then leaves the room. Meredith thinks about going after him, but gives up and just throws herself on her back on the bed.
AAAA
The plane ride is long and Derek's mind is a whirlwind.
The past six months have been rough for him, with Addison's refusal to own up to any feelings, he's decided to step back and focus his attention on his relationship with Meredith.
The problem was, he didn't feel the same way about her anymore. Thoughts about Addison and their life became more and more frequent and it consumed him. At the same time seeing her looking happy next to Pete made him angry and committed to Meredith more and more.
The thing is, Meredith never reciprocated, she continued her life, her priority in the group of friends, her childhood traumas and na insecurity towards Addison and Chris. This was little by little creating na impassable chasm between them.
It's only when the plane lands in New York that Derek feels himself relax, the mere thought of being close to his son making his mood.
With Christmas two days away, plans are still mixed, given that he wants to be with Chris and Addison too, but he knows they will decide.
Derek is getting into the cab when his cell phone rings, he sees Liz's number and answers:
"Hi. I'm already getting in the cab to your house."
"Derek, hi. We're stuck in Canada. There's na extremely heavy blizzard."
..
"But will you be able to fly tomorrow?"
Derek asks in alarm and Liz explains:
"Only if there is a miracle."
"Damn! Are you all there?"
"Only Amy stayed there."
Derek lets out a deep breath, but nods and advises:
"Fine, I'm going to a hotel. Everyone stay safe there, I'll call you tomorrow."
With that he hangs up his cell phone and gets in the taxi.
A few months ago Kathleen had to move to Canada because of her husband's work. With Christmas just around the corner and the couple unable to be in the United States, the family decided to meet in Canada for a week. As a result, Derek doesn't know what he's going to do over Christmas.
AAAA
Derek is sitting on the rug in Bronwstone's living room building blocks with Chris when Addison and Pete walk through the door. He shudders to hear the couple laughing together.
Chris soon runs into his mother's arms and points towards his father:
"Daddy here!"
Addison kisses her son's forehead and then approaches Derek to greet him. Derek reciprocates and waves to Pete who just returns the greeting before speaking to the redhead:
"I'm going to take a shower before I make dinner."
So he kisses his girlfriend's lips, ruffles Chris' hair and goes upstairs. Alone with Addison, Derek asks:
"What are the plans for Christmas?"
"Dinner here, me, Pete, Chris, Archie, Savvy and the family. Why?"
"Is there room for me?"
"Derek..."
Addison starts in a tired tone, but Derek interrupts her:
"Mom and the girls were stuck in Quebec. It's just me and Amelia left here."
Addison widens her eyes at the information and asks surprised:
"Are you telling me you have nowhere to spend Christmas?"
Derek just nods a little embarrassed when the first thing that comes to his mind is the way he treated her at Christmas in Seattle. Addison stares at him for a moment before speaking:
"You can have dinner here."
"Thanks."
"I'll invite Amelia too."
Derek nods and asks casually:
"And how are you?"
"Fine. Today was my last day of work for the year. How about you?"
"Well."
Derek talks averting his eyes to his son's toys. Addison arches na eyebrow, but Derek dismisses it:
"It's okay, Addie."
The redhead decides not to push and just sits watching her ex-husband play with her son.
After a few minutes where only Chris' excited voice was heard, Derek faces his ex and says with a smile:
"The Christmas decorations are amazing."
"Thanks."
Addison speaks with a shy smile and Derek speaks again:
"Chris talked excitedly about Santa Claus. I'm glad you're passing on the importance of the date to him."
Addison just nods and sensing her discomfort, Derek decides to speak up. So he gets up and sits next to her on the couch:
"Addie, I know I was mean to you in Seattle and..."
"Derek, don't start. We've gone the last six months without getting into these matters and I don't want to do that right now."
Her tone is firm and Derek nods. A little embarrassed, he gets up from the couch saying:
"It's late, I better go. Let you guys rest."
"You can have dinner here if you want."
"No thanks. I'm going back to the hotel."
Addison nods and then Derek says goodbye to his son, kisses his ex-wife's cheek and heads for the door. When he turns around at the door Addison says with a sincere smile:
"You're welcome tomorrow."
"Thanks."
Derek also speaks smiling and then leaves closing the door behind him.
When Addison turns around, Pete is coming down the stairs, he approaches and asks:
"Who's welcome tomorrow?"
"Derek. He's having dinner with us tomorrow."
Addison speaks in the most casual tone she can muster. Pete's face drops and he asks indignantly:
"Wait... Are you telling me that your ex-husband is going to spend Christmas here?"
"He's Chris' father."
"You know that's no excuse for everything right?"
"Pete..."
Addison speaks in a menacing tone and he softens his tone before approaching her. Pete caresses her cheek as she says:
"You have to agree that this is embarrassing."
"A little. But his family got stuck in the blizzard in Quebec. He's alone in the city and I can't leave him in a hotel room."
"I should. After what he did to you in Seattle."
Pete speaks in na irritated tone. Addison raises her eyebrows, asking a little shocked:
"Who told you about this?"
"Your brother. He told me last Christmas when he listed a thousand other reasons why Derek didn't even deserve to be anywhere near Chris."
Addison snorts at Archer's biased opinion and then speaks sternly:
"I'm trying to forget about the past. This whole bad situation between me and Derek I want to put behind me, for Chris and for myself as well."
"I know. You already told me that."
"Fine. Then I'll be the bigger person who treats her ex-husband well on Christmas Eve."
Addison speaks with a smile. Pete nods and is silent for a few seconds. Soon he kisses his girlfriend's cheek while stating:
"I admire you, Addison. Really."
She smiles again and gives him a soft kiss before enveloping him in a hug.
AAAAAA
Derek arrives excitedly at Bronwstone, despite being aware of having to spend a night with Pete and Archer, he knows that being around Chris and Addison will pay off.
It's Addison who opens the door for him, beautiful in her white dress that contrasts perfectly with her amazing red hair. She smiles brightly at Derek and hugs him saying:
"Merry Christmas, Derek!"
"Merry Christmas, Addie."
He speaks before placing a soft kiss on her cheek. When Derek enters the house, he is hit with a wave of emotions. The decor is even more beautiful, the smells of cider and chocolate intoxicate the atmosphere and the presence of people who were part of its history in New York brings a sense of nostalgia.
Derek comes out of the trance when Amelia wraps him in a warm hug, he reciprocates his sister and kisses her forehead. Soon Derek is greeted by Savvy and Weiss and then Pete shows up bringing the three kids and poof. Chris, as usual, throws himself on his father's lap and asks curiously:
"Gift fo me?"
"Christopher!"
Addison scolds the son who just buries his face in his father's neck. Derek then puts the gifts under the huge tree and kneels down explaining to his son:
"These gifts Santa Claus left there at my hotel, but it can't open until tomorrow."
"Ok daddy."
Chris speaks in his cute voice, drawing sighs from everyone in the room, he then walks away from his father and turns his attention to his little friends.
Derek sits next to Weiss and everyone breaks into conversation.
It's almost time to serve dinner when the doorbell rings and Addison opens the door for her brother. Archer enters smiling and greeting everyone with his seductive way, when he approaches Derek, he asks with a crooked smile:
"Did the intern come with you?"
"Merry Christmas to you too, Archer. And Meredith wasn't here for work."
"Finally you've found someone who shares the same excuse."
Archer asks, still without losing his jocular tone, and Addison approaches, intervening:
"Archie, why don't we go to the bar and make you a drink stronger than flip.?"
Archer nods and puts his arm around his sister's shoulders, walking with her to the bar. Derek gives everyone na apologetic look and goes back to his seat.
It doesn't take long for everyone to sit at the table and dinner is served. Addison is at the head of the table with Pete on one side and Chris on the other in his high chair, next to the boy is Amelia and next to Pete is Archer. Savvy and her sons complete Pete's side while Weiss and Derek occupy opposite sides.
It's weird for Derek to be in this place, in a dining room that used to be his, that's been his for years. And his discomfort only increases seeing the chemistry between Addison and her boyfriend.
When dinner is finally over, they sit in the living room and at Chris' first sleep demonstration, Derek offers to take him to bed, it's his way of getting out of there.
In the room with his son, Derek places the armchair next to the bed, he lays the sleepy little boy down and takes one of the history books, starting to read. A few minutes after Dad starts reading, Chris falls asleep. Derek smiles at his son, he snuggles the covers over him, caresses his cheeks gently and leans back in the chair to watch him sleep.
AAAA
Derek wakes up with discomfort in his back, he looks around trying to get his bearings and then realizes he's fallen asleep while watching his son. Upon checking his watch, he realizes that he has been sleeping for over na hour. Immediately he gets up, arranges the blankets over the little boy again and leaves the room.
When Derek appears in the room, only Addison, Pete, and Amelia are still there. Seeing him Addison asks with furrowed brows:
"Did it take Chris all this time to sleep?"
"No. I watched him sleep and ended up falling asleep too. Sorry."
"No problem."
"Has everyone gone?"
"Yes. Archer just left."
Derek nods and puts his hands in his pockets a little embarrassed as he takes in everything. Amelia is sitting in na armchair, a blanket wrapped around her body and a glass in her hand, she looks relaxed. Addison and Pete are on the couch, he has na arm around her who also has a blanket and a cup in her hand. Pete's protective hand on the redhead's waist makes Derek's chest tighten. After a few more awkward moments he decides to say goodbye:
"It's late, I better get back to the hotel. Amy are you coming?"
"No. I'll stay here until tomorrow afternoon."
"OK."
"Do you plan to come tomorrow, Derek?"
Addison asks in a casual tone. Derek replies:
"No. I arranged to have lunch with Weiss and Savvy."
Addison smiles at the answer, happy to see him reconnect with old friends. Derek then starts to greet them and soon leaves the Bronwstone, one last look back and a soft smile from Addison makes him feel na inexplicable tightness in his chest.
AAAA
The next few days are quiet, Derek spends as much time as he can with Chris. It's not until December 29 that Carolyn Shepherd and the rest of the family are able to return home, so Derek immediately heads to Connecticut to see his mother.
AAAA
Addison is playing with Chris when the cell phone rings, she sees her ex-mother-in-law's name and calmly answers it. The two women chat for a few minutes, catching up on the family trip and Kathleen and Chris' news. Suddenly, Carolyn speaks surprising the redhead:
"Addie, I'm calling to invite you to spend New Year's here."
"Carolyn, I don't think it's a good idea."
"Why not? I want to thank you for having Amelia and Derek for Christmas."
"You do not have to thank me."
"Yes, I do. Besides, I really miss Christopher."
"But Pete will be uncomfortable."
"Nonsense, if he accepted Derek there, coming here won't be a big deal. We're all family, Addie."
The older woman's tone is relaxed, but from the years she's known her, Addison knows she won't accept a refusal. So the surgeon takes a deep breath and promises:
"I'll talk to Pete and let you know later."
Carolyn seems satisfied with the answer, they chat for a few more minutes and then end the call. Addison takes a deep breath, looking at her cell phone and thinking of all the reasons to decline the invitation.
A few hours later, when Pete enters the Bronwstone, Addison greets him with a soft kiss. They sit together on the sofa in front of the fireplace and she starts playing with her hair, they relax for a few moments until Addison decides to get on the subject:
"Carolyn called me today."
"Carolyn Chris' grandma? What did she want?"
"She wants us to spend New Year's at her house."
Addison speaks in a controlled tone. Pete immediately pulls away and looks at her asking in na annoyed tone:
"Are you going to spend New Years away from me again?"
"No. The invitation extends to you."
"It's all right."
Pete speaks with a calmness that surprises his girlfriend. Addison raises her eyebrows and skeptically asks:
"Are you telling me it's okay to spend New Year's with the Shepherds?"
"The Shepherds are Chris' family and if I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I need to learn to live together."
Pete states before pulling her onto his lap and capturing her lips in a kiss. As they walk away Addison holds the sides of his face and says looking into his eyes:
"You're perfect, Pete."
Pete smiles, returns her words and pulls her into another passionate kiss.
AAAAA
It's late afternoon when Pete parks the car in front of Carolyn's house. Addison puts Chris down and holds his hand as he climbs the stairs excitedly yelling for his grandmother, Pete climbs up behind them carrying the bags.
The three are naturally greeted by the Shepherd clan, with Derek immediately taking Chris in his arms, while Carolyn is nice to Addison and Pete.
The hours pass and the atmosphere remains good, with the women in the kitchen while the men and children enjoy their time in the living room, even Pete manages to befriend Derek's brothers-in-law.
The evening is also pleasant, the dinner as always delicious, the conversation lively and chaotic and Addison is really relieved to see that it is possible to have a harmonious coexistence between the new and the old life.
It's a little past midnight when Addison is in the kitchen finishing up a call to Archer, at which point Nancy comes in smiling to get another drink. She then sits at the table and comments to her friend:
"So you and Pete and my brother surprise me."
"That's what Chris needs, mature people around him."
"People being mature and people cheating are completely different things, Addie."
Nancy's drunken sincerity takes the redhead completely by surprise. Addison frowns and asks:
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh, for God's sake, Addie. We bet you know? Me and Amy bet Liz that you and Derek would be together before last year was over."
"You guys bet on my personal life now?!"
Addison asks clearly annoyed. At that moment Nancy realizes that she was a little impolite and justifies herself:
"It's just that... It's clear that you're still in love with each other. You can see it in the way you look at each other, the way you talk to each other and to each other. Being with you today, or fifteen years ago, doesn't nothing has changed."
Nancy speaks with a conviction that makes Addison shudder. She takes a deep breath, runs her hands through her hair and then buries her face between them, after a few minutes she lifts her head and finally speaks:
"I can't do this again, Nancy. I'm happy with Pete, I love him."
Nancy shakes her head no and holds Addison's hand as she speaks firmly:
"No. You want to love Pete, like I wanted to love my high school boyfriend who proposed to me on prom night, with a ring and balloons. But I love the Jhon I met at a Japanese restaurant while spilling sauce." Shoyu in me, the Jhon who is clumsy, messy and addicted to football."
Nancy says with a silly smile before continuing:
"And you love Derek. The Derek who neglected marriage, who couldn't forgive you and broke your heart on Christmas Eve, but who's the same Derek who proposed to you in central park and wrote you a ridiculous song. ."
The two smile at the memories, but soon Addison gets serious again and explains:
"Derek has hurt me a lot, Nancy and I can't really even think about being with your brother. If I let myself get carried away with it, when it's over, Chris is going to get hurt and I refuse to let that happen. "
When she finishes speaking there are tears in her eyes. Nancy shakes her hand and nods understanding her position, they then smile at each other and get up walking back to the room hand in hand.
Minutes later, Addison and Pete say their goodbyes by heading to a hotel and leaving Chris with Derek with a promise to come back for lunch the next day.
AAAA
The next morning shortly after Addison and Pete return to the Shepherds' house, the doorbell rings. In the kitchen with her daughters and ex-daughter-in-law, Carolyn gives her na odd look and before anyone can question, Mark's voice echoes through the room causing Addison to freeze.
Carolyn just holds her hand and speaks calmly:
"They need it."
In the next instant it is Chris' sweet voice that can be heard as he shouts excitedly:
"Uncle Mark!"
Addison immediately runs into the room, followed by her ex-mother-in-law. Derek gives a death glare as soon as he sees the redhead and she asks looking at Pete:
"Take Chris to the backyard."
Pete nods and picks up his stepson, followed by Derek's brothers-in-law and their children. When finally only Derek, Mark, Addison and Carolyn are left in the room, the neurosurgeon asks angrily:
"Why did my son call this scoundrel uncle."
"After our fight here Mark and I talked and got along, since then he visits Chris sometimes."
Addison talks trying to sound calm. Derek narrows his eyes and asks in the same tone:
"And you kept it from me for the last year?!"
"I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid of your reaction."
Addison speaks in a low tone. Derek rolls his eyes and asks frustrated:
"How long are you going to lie and cheat for this guy, Addison?!"
"Don't talk to her like that!"
Mark intervenes and then Derek speaks without looking at him:
"Shut up and get out of this house."
"I don't go out, because your mother invited me."
Mark is firm. Derek turns to his mother angrily asking:
"Did you invite this guy?"
"It's obvious. I raised you two and I've had enough of this enmity. Now I'm going to close this door and you'll only leave here after na adult conversation."
That said, the woman pulls Addison by the arm and guides her back to the kitchen, closing the door after giving a nod in the children's direction.
As she enters the kitchen, Addison sits at the table, her hands shaking. Amelia hands her a glass of water, she squeezes her ex-sister-in-law's shoulder and says:
"It's going to be okay, Addie."
Addison just nods and tries to control her nerves, the absolute silence coming from the other room doesn't help.
AAAA
Derek and Mark just stare at each other in silence for long moments, until the blond man starts:
"I miss you."
"I should have thought of that sooner."
"Derek..."
"I trusted you, Mark. We were brothers since we were seven years old and you threw it all away to add my wife to your collection."
Derek speaks with disgust. Mark lowers his eyes and speaks in na almost inaudible tone:
"It was not so."
"Oh no? What was it? Did you accidentally fall into the bed I shared with my wife?!"
"I fell in love with her, Derek. I was completely in love with Addison, I always have been."
Derek stares at his former friend in shocked silence for long seconds. When he sees that he won't get any answers, Mark speaks again:
"I fell in love with her in college but she never even looked at me. She was the first girl who didn't even pay attention to me, she loved you and it was perfect because you loved her too. You were perfect for each other. And they were happy and I canceled. Over time Addie became my best friend and soon the three of us were family."
Mark speaks with a nostalgic smile and then continues:
"I liked the way things were, I always liked my lifestyle, but then it changed. You stopped being the guy she needed and deserved, you became cold, impatient and obsessed with work, making her suffer."
Hearing this, Derek frowns and asks in a sarcastic tone:
"And instead of advising me, my best man decided to take advantage of the situation."
Mark gives na ironic smile at this moment and says:
"You know it wasn't like that. I tried talking to you more than once and all you said was that Addie was dramatic and needy and that you should be proud of you."
Derek feels the impact of Mark's words, not even he remembered saying things like that about Addison anymore. Seeing the neurosurgeon's lack of reaction, Mark continues:
"She was miserable Derek, she felt rejected and alone. But I didn't enjoy myself like you think, I was just there for her, being friend and patient, night after night and then my old feelings came back. And that night when You missed one more dinner without even a text message, I decided to confess, I decided to make that woman believe that she was loved by someone."
Mark's words cut deep and for a moment, Derek can barely breathe. His eyes fill with tears as a mixture of guilt and shame hits him. After a new silence, it is Mark who speaks again:
"Anyway, I've spent the last few years wanting to say this to you. Also wanting to say that I'm sorry and that a part, damn, a big part of me will always regret asking for our friendship. And that's why I'm here, that's why I'm asking your forgiveness."
Mark's sincerity also surprises Derek, but he tries to stand his ground:
"Like I said, you should have thought of that sooner."
Derek's harsh tone doesn't intimidate the other surgeon who speaks with the same sincerity:
"Still, I'll keep pushing, because you've always been my brother. And I love your mother, your sisters, and…your son is the nephew I always knew you'd give me."
After saying that Mark smiles, he then turns his back on Derek and approaches the door. Seeing him about to leave, Derek calls his name and gets a little closer as he says:
"Thanks for being honest... I can't forgive you, not yet, but I want to."
Derek gives a slight smile and extends his hand, Mark shakes it firmly and speaks before heading out the door:
"Happy New Year Derek."
As soon as the door closes, Derek sits heavily on the couch as Mark's words echo in his head.
He can't understand at what point he became such a bad husband, at what point his career became the center of the universe, or when he felt that being at home with his wife was a hassle. Derek never admitted guilt for being cheated on, never accepted the "he was here" that Addison told him the night of the affair, but now looking back, faced with Mark's sincerity, he knows he's pushed his marriage over the edge.
Derek lets out a sigh and buries his face in his hands, not knowing what to do after this moment.
AAAA
In the kitchen five pairs of eyes stare at Addison as she tries to take in everything Derek and Mark have said. She didn't expect his friend's brutal sincerity, didn't expect him to be able to say all those things to Derek's face. In a rush she stands up, still looking a little shocked and excuses herself to the women:
"Got to go."
No one objects, they just nod and give the redhead a reassuring pat on the shoulders. Addison doesn't reciprocate, she just walks out the back door and into the garden, willing to take Chris and Pete to the much-needed comfort of her home.
AAAA
I know this chapter got huge!
I have to confess that the conversation between Derek and Mark should have come out in the previous chapter, but I forgot.
The next chapter will be shorter, but it will bring one of the most anticipated moments in history.
Once again I apologize for my mistakes in language and reaffirm that I have nothing.