Please read the endnotes.
AAAAA
The first day of the year turns out to be chaotic at the Shepherd family home. After Addison left with Chris and Pete, Derek locked himself in his room and the four sisters spent the day gossiping about what had happened.
Late in the afternoon, Derek forces himself out of his room to say goodbye to the family, as they are all heading home. He's sullen and silent, but luckily none of the girls comment on Mark or Addison.
When she is finally alone with her son, Carolyn sits on the couch, gesturing for him to do the same. Derek sits next to his mother and puts his head on her shoulder as he asks in a low tone:
"Why did you call him here?"
"Because I want you to be friends again, I miss what this house was like with the two of you around here."
Carolyn speaks truthfully and Derek smiles lightly before kissing his mother's temple. After a few seconds of silence, Derek says:
"I feel like I can forgive him, I just need more time."
"I know you do."
Carolyn smiles and pats her son on the thigh. Suddenly Derek asks surprising his mother:
"Do you agree with the things Mark said? About me being indifferent to Addie?"
Carolyn lets out a long breath and then shifts so she can face her son as she speaks:
"I never thought Addie was the right woman for you, since the first time you brought her here. You were different, from different worlds, but I had to accept it, even though I resented her. Away, you didn't show up here anymore, you didn't care about your sisters and nephews' birthdays anymore, but Addie did. She came on every date, made excuses for you, defended you and never, never complained, but you could tell how much she was unhappy."
Derek swallows hard at his mother's words, once again feeling guilt creep in. Then he asks:
"Is that why you stopped hating her?"
"At first I didn't hate her, I just had my reservations. But I came to admire her during her pregnancy, the strength she had and the courage not to give up on Chris."
Derek just nods, feeling his eyes watering, after a while in silence, he says:
"Yea."
"What?"
"Two years ago you asked me if I still loved Addie, the answer is yes."
Carolyn lets out a long sigh and gets up from the couch, saying:
"Wait here, I'll be right back."
Derek nods in confusion and then watches his mother walk away. Minutes later Carolyn comes back with a box in her hands, she sits next to her son again. Derek asks with wide eyes:
"Is it the ring?"
"Yea."
"But I thought..."
"Your father wanted you to deliver him to the right woman. You're fifteen years late and it's my fault."
Carolyn speaks kindly and hands the box to her son. Derek stares at the object and then gives it a teary look as he says:
"Thanks."
"But sort out your life first, my dear."
Derek nods, squeezing the box in his hands, he goes and already knows exactly how.
AAAAA
Pete watches Addison curled up on the sofa in front of the fireplace, she holds a glass of wine and is clearly deep in thought. She's been like this all day. In the car, he didn't hear a word as she just watched the scenery. During the afternoon, he spent time playing with Chris while she just looked lethargic around them.
Tired and worried, he sits in front of her and asks:
"Addison, do you want to talk?"
"About?"
"About what happened in that house that left you like this."
"I am fine."
"No it isn't and we both know it."
Pete speaks softly and takes her hand in hers. Addison puts the glass on the table and takes his hands again, before saying:
"Mark talked about the time Derek stopped caring about our marriage, he described exactly how I felt and hearing these things made me sick."
Pete nods his head encouraging her to continue and she says:
"Mark also said things that Derek said about me at the time and it hurt me, it made me too embarrassed to face him."
"Because you still love him."
Pete speaks without accusation, or question, just na easy statement. Addison lowers her eyes and confirms:
"I do. I spent sixteen years with him, we have a child together, more memories than anyone else..."
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No!"
Addison speaks in na alarmed voice. Pete shakes her hand again and explains:
"I don't want to go, but I don't want to stay just to be a substitute."
"You are not."
Addison speaks fighting back tears. Pete pulls her onto his lap on the floor and squeezes her tightly, knowing it's only a matter of time before he loses her, but desperately wanting to fool himself.
AAAA
Derek feels his heart race as he stops in front of Meredith's front door, anxiety gripping him when he knows how difficult it will be. With shaking hands he opens the door, passes through the room where Alex, Lexie and Izzie are, and up to the bedroom.
On his way to the bedroom, Derek takes a few deep breaths, he thinks about what he needs to do, why he's doing it and gets the calm he needs.
In bed, Meredith talks about something with Cristina, they laugh a little and Derek deduces that they are making fun of some intern, or attendant. Even with the door open he knocks and speaks in a neutral tone:
"Goodnight."
"Hi Derek! Get in!"
Meredith talks excitedly and he enters the room. Cristina remains in the same position and Derek speaks a little embarrassed:
"Mer, can we talk?"
Meredith nods and looks at him expectantly, but Cristina remains seated. Derek rolls his eyes and speaks without the least patience:
"Alone, Dr. Yang!"
Cristina turns to face him and seems ready to respond, but luckily she shuts her mouth and leaves the room, closing the door. Meredith crosses her arms in front of her chest and criticizes:
"That was rude."
Derek just shakes his head no and then sits in the place where Yang was, he holds Meredith's hands and says:
"We're not working anymore, Meredith."
Her eyes widen and she immediately drops her hands from his, instead grabs his arms and starts apologizing:
"Derek, please, if that's what I said about Addison, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."
"That's not why and you know it."
His calm tone irritates her and she gets up and starts walking across the room as she rambles on:
"I can live alone with you, we can visit your mother, take a few days off, I..."
Derek gets up and stops in front of her, he grabs her shoulders making her face him and then says:
"It doesn't work, Mer."
She just looks at him with teary eyes. Derek caresses her cheek and speaks in a low voice:
"The last two years have been a delusion, Mer... Ever since I met Addie, I can't get her out of my head. I fell in love with you, but I love Addison and as much as I've denied it a lot, I always will."
She pulls away and then slaps him, Derek just holds his face a little shocked but knowing he deserves it. Meredith starts screaming:
"How dare you tell me that?"
"Because it's the truth. Look, you're na amazing woman and you brought me out of the dark at a horrible time, you were my breath of fresh air and I'll always be grateful, but it's time to end it."
She hits his chest while yelling:
"Do you love Addison?! You're choosing her again and me? How do I look, Derek."
He locks her wrists and then holds both sides of her face as he affectionately states:
"You stay being this amazing, brave woman you always were. A woman who's going to be na even more brilliant surgeon than Ellis Grey… Who's going to be the perfect wife and mother once she finds the right man, at the right time. Now I, I need to get my family back."
With that he kisses her forehead and walks away. Meredith just nods with tears streaming down her eyes and clearly touched by his words. Derek states that he will fetch her things while she is at work and then leaves the room and goes downstairs. Downstairs, the four residents stare at him with death glares. The next few days at Seattle Grace will be a nightmare.
AAAA
The next morning, Derek is already waiting for Richard when he arrives at the hospital. The two enter the boss's office together and Derek speaks bluntly:
"I came to give my warning."
"What? What do you mean?!"
Richard asks in shock, causing Derek to explain himself:
"I decided to go back to New York, to be close to my family."
"What about Meredith?"
"We're done. She's going to be fine."
"Wait a minute, you're telling me you broke up with Meredith and are moving back to New York... Does that mean?"
"That I want to win Addie back."
Richard flashes a bright smile at the neurosurgeon's words. Derek also smiles and states:
"So we have a month, me to organize the department and you to find my replacement."
Richard nods and Derek stands up smiling. When Derek is at the door the older man advises:
"Derek, be sure what you're doing. Don't hurt my star again."
Derek nods calmly, knowing he won't change his mind, and then leaves the office to begin his workday.
AAAA
It's been a tiring month for Derek. Organizing the entire department, helping Richard interview replacements while putting up with stares and whispers from all his colleagues is stressful. Adding that to the fact that he can't take any weekends off to see his son only makes it worse.
Of course, Derek also needs to organize his personal life, putting the trailer and land up for sale. The first is easy, after all it was always a temporary dwelling, but the lands... The place he fell in love with when he arrived in the city, the first thing that made him hope after the terrible night that almost destroyed him. It's hard to undo.
On his last day on the ground, he wakes up early, has a long coffee on the deck, taking in the scenery before heading out to fish. Derek spends hours in front of the lake, contemplating nature and the place where he thought he would spend the rest of his life, the fresh air intoxicates his lungs and makes him feel light.
It's past lunchtime when the trailer buyer arrives, he hands the man the keys and then watches the vehicle pull away. So many memories leaving... Derek's last appointment in Seattle is the signing of the land deed, he plans to do that as soon as possible and then leave for the airport.
In fact it's quick, and easier and less painless than Derek expected, he just finds his lawyer and the buyer, signs the documents and then he's free.
Derek watches Seattle get smaller as the plane gains more and more attitude, he takes a deep breath, mentally gives thanks for his time in the city and closes his eyes wondering what the future holds.
AAAA
The next morning, Addison is having her breakfast while waiting for Chris' nanny, when the doorbell rings. She quietly gets up and opens the door with a soft smile.
Addison's smile fades when he sees Derek standing outside, he smiles at her. Addison is surprised to see her ex-husband in town on Tuesday and asks:
"What are you doing here?"
"I definitely returned to New York."
"What? Why?"
"To get you back, Addie."
After saying that he approaches closing the space between them and pulls her into a totally passionate kiss.
AAAA
That's it, just a passing chapter.
I confess that I'm a little discouraged about writing Addek, because it seems like no one else does it... There are so many abandoned stories around here and I've been missing reading about them.
Thanks again for your kind comments and constructive criticism. I reaffirm that I do not own these characters and I apologize for language errors.