AN: Forgot to add this note here. Hopefully this is seen in time. I deleted the old Ch 7 on Ao3 some time ago, forgot to delete it here at the same time. The opening scene here is roughly the same but with some differences in the following scene and then the rest is new. This fits the direction of the story better than the last one imo. Yeah, that's it lol. Anyways, yay! It's back! I'll prolly be focusing on updating this and Idle Hands more now. I gotta do a lotta heavy research for Dissolve Me, mainly centering around dance and ballet and shiz, before updating that more regularly.
Happy reading!
Asynchronous With You
Chapter Seven, What is Home?
The sound of her pained whimpering stabbed his brain and he awoke with a start.
His mouth felt sandy and his stomach felt like it'd been wadded up and shoved up between his ribs.
But who cares about that? He's used to this.
Hinata isn't.
Naruto pushed through the lethargy, and propped himself up on his elbows. Hinata's face was tightly scrunched up, her lips pulling back with every pang her hangover dealt her.
"Hinata."
Her eyes barely cracked open. Tears slid down the crook of her nose and made tiny spots on the couch. "My head."
"I'll get the painkillers and water, okay?" He placed his left arm on the low table and supported himself on it. He rose to his feet and journeyed to the nearest bathroom. There would be medicine behind the mirror.
It felt like he was wading through wet sand.
He definitely overdid it last night.
Upon getting the items, he returned to her side. He shook out two pills onto his palm and pressed the lateral side of his hand against her plush lips. It took great effort for her to open her mouth, but it was enough. He tipped his hand and the pills rolled into her mouth. Then offered her water and she sipped enough to lubricate her throat and give the pills a means to travel down her esophagus.
She panted through her pain, but knowing that it'd eventually pass, the creases in her face smoothed considerably. But she still couldn't open her eyes.
Naruto laid his head near hers and watched over her, her breath carrying her tiny voice past her lips in weak moans. And as the pain and tension disappeared slowly from her face, his smile widened with every visible improvement. The chance to talk to her after last night was too exciting.
Her eyes opened cautiously. She peered at him from beneath her lashes and he was so relieved she was over the worst of it.
"How're you feeling?" he asked.
"I'm really hungry."
"Oh yeah. You upchucked all of your pizza."
"Nooo. Itachi-san paid for my pizza."
"It's alright. Sorry, I shouldn't have forced that experience on you. It was your first time."
Her eyes widened and her face lit up bright red. "Huh?!"
Naruto blinked. "The shochu? The shots we did? I shouldn't have let you overdo it on your first time like that."
"Oh. That's… why my head hurts."
"Mm-hmm."
Her brows scrunched up and her nose crinkled as she focused on a thought. "I didn't finish our movie."
"It's okay. Want to watch it again later?"
"Later?"
"Or right now?"
"Hmm. No. I don't think I can watch anything right now."
"That's fine. We got time today."
Her eyes widened again. And she gasped.
"I skipped school."
"What?! Were you actually planning on making it to school?! After seven shots? After staying up until two in the morning?"
"Oh. I see. The me from yesterday accepted the consequences."
Naruto burst out laughing, causing her to wince. Apologetic-tinged panic shut down his volume as he covered his hands, grinning sheepishly at his mistake. Once his sheepishness melted away, all that was left was the blissful warmth in his belly and ludicrous contentment stretching his lips.
He settled down in the cozy camaraderie that he shared with her, so different and so special from any of his other bonds.
"How about the you now? Do you regret it?"
She shook her head, a small, careful motion, her hangover still clinging stubbornly to her head.
"How soon is next time?"
The way she said that, with an almost conspiratorial mischief, it filled him with a thrill he hasn't experienced in a long while.
Naruto's smile faded into thoughtful blankness, as the near future pulled up like an impatient cabby ready to take them both home. "I don't want to get in the way between you and Hanabi."
"I was thinking she could start coming over for dinner instead."
"What? Don't tell me she's neglected after all!"
"No, no! She's fine, but apparently mom barely cooks anything good. She wants a real home-cooked meal."
"That still sounds like neglect."
"Bento from Lawson's is still more nutritious than your instant ramen diet."
"Okay, I take offense to that."
Hinata stuck her tongue out at him and wiggled her head.
His own tongue pressed against his teeth, his gaze inexplicably zeroing in on that pink muscle.
"Is that what you're gonna teach your little sister? Stick your tongue out and win an argument?"
Hinata giggled and pushed at his shoulder. She hadn't the strengthen to nudge him.
"I guess I could go for bento from Lawson's," he mused as he clasped his groaning belly. "Teme's probably still out cold and Itachi-nii's gotta be working right now."
"Get one for Sasuke-kun too?"
"Nah, he can cook. I'm actually not allowed to cook."
"Oh. I should've known that," she smiled.
"Hey! Listen, I'm the one gonna walk half a block to obtain sustenance and you can barely sit up! So you better be nicer, cuz your life is in my hands!"
Hinata's eyes glittered with amusement. "I'm sorry, Shishou. I was out of line."
"Exactly! Glad you understand. Okay, I'm gonna head out now."
Hinata gingerly consumed her bento as they rewatched the movie together, their knees touching beneath the low table.
"Why did we choose this one?" she asked, as she struggled to watch the main character devolve into his hikikkomori-esque delusions the more he tried to survive in the forested wilderness, his cadaver companion turned multitool somehow enabling these escapades.
"Uh. We were drunk off our ass? Who knows what we were thinking last night."
"This movie is sad," she said, earning an incredulous glance.
"What? Are we watching the same movie?" he laughed. When the main character discovered that the cadaver's boner could be used as a compass, Naruto fell backwards, clutching his sore abdomen as he broke down into hysterics.
But... but... the cadaver was probably a figment of the main character's imagination. At least she kind of hoped. Wasn't this just reflective of his mind state? That the girl who always stayed out of his reach was his True North? It all seemed like such an elaborate allegory for the life he had tried to abandon. That was surely the point.
Hinata sighed and continued to eat her food.
There was no helping it if they experienced some things differently.
Maybe it was the movie's fault. Between her unrelatable interpretations and the formerly suicidal outcast on screen, she was beginning to feel overexposed to all of the one-sidedness of life.
Naruto turned onto his side and propped his head up on his hand, his smarmy grin giving her foreboding vibes. "My boner does the same thing when I see a hot girl."
"Naruto-kun!"
He slapped the floor as he laughed at her mortified reaction.
"Naruto-kun, you're getting too comfortable with me!"
"Huh? But isn't that what's great about us?"
She spends one night with him and Sasuke-kun, and in the morning she's being treated like… like a bro? Suddenly she's mad at herself. She's mad for having a problem with this. She accepted however their relationship would evolve, and she had long removed 'romantic' from the equation. She's being so unreasonable. Her bratty, entitled heart is so unreasonable.
She doesn't answer him. She can't. So she plugs up her mouth with more food, because she doesn't want to say something she'll regret.
She can't give him any doubt.
He's splayed out on the floor like a starfish and he's staring at her, watching her eat with that contemplative gaze. Was she obvious, after all?
"Hey."
"Hm?"
"Did you wanna watch something else?"
She nodded, thankful to move on from this.
Halfway through their second movie, with no sign of Sasuke waking up and no texts from Kurenai on her phone, Hinata turned towards Naruto, absorbing his unusually taciturn profile.
They hadn't joked or discussed once since their movie started, and he seemed the way he was when he got admonished, at least by her. Not that she meant to, she didn't want him to feel like he had to be careful around her either. Or like he made a mistake. Oh, she couldn't make her up damn mind about how their relationship should be, could she?!
With that frightening phase of raised voices and hurt feelings firmly behind them, Hinata found she didn't like this any better.
"Hey," she called out in a soft voice.
"Hm?"
"I'm definitely going back tonight."
"Home?" He sounded disinterested, his expression placid.
"Mm-hm. I can't miss school, either."
"Yeah, I know. Wouldn't want you to."
"I still want to do this again… more often, that is. If you'll have me."
Naruto snickered as his expression slanted with wistful incredulity. "The fuck? Why so formal? Just…" His amusement dropped, and inexplicable irritation slipped in. "Invite yourself whenever, alright?" He laid his face in his palm, doing absolutely nothing to hide his sudden melancholy.
Did she ruin the moment? By reminding him that this couldn't last?
"Is there anything you need me to bring you?"
"No. It's too long a trip for you to do that."
Hinata nodded, feeling pathetic as she retreated inwards.
"You're right."
She said goodbye to Sasuke and Itachi and thanked them for having her before she headed back home.
Naruto had remained firmly rooted in front of the tv as if he didn't care about a damn thing.
They still talked, even with a little tension surrounding them, they managed to regain some normalcy between them.
But looking at the back of his, it felt false, like they had fallen into an unofficial truce.
Is that what being soft on each other leads to? It would seem so.
She hated to leave, her feet felt so heavy in the genkan as she gripped the doorknob, the cold blue evening awaiting her on the other side.
She's going home. And he's not going to be there.
This shouldn't feel as profound as it does. They've been apart before, it became normal for them both.
So why does she hate this more than usual?
"Tadaima," she called out as she worked off her shoes. Bending down, she gripped them and began to line them up against the elevated edge when her eyes landed on a larger pair of work boots. And with her head further inside the hallway, her nose picked up the faint burnt fog stench of Asuma-san's cigarettes.
"Okaeri nasai," came Kurenai-san's reply, somehow both warm and lackluster at the same time.
Hinata padded across the hallway and into the combined living room/kitchen where she found her foster mother seated at the table, bills strewn about in front of her.
The balcony attached from the living room was open, where Asuma sat, cigarette pointed away and curling smoke wafting to mingle with the rest of the city's ozone. He raised his free hand in greeting. "Hinata-chan. How was your sleep over?"
Hinata stumbled to answer, her gaze searching Kurenai's face for some kind of clue or approval that she did not need. She remembered. Unlike Naruto, she actually talked to Kurenai before leaving with him. Because his beef wasn't hers, she had no reason to sneak out all petulantly like he did.
She returned eye contact with Asuma as she moved towards the sofa, the very edge her usual spot whenever he was here.
"It was good. Certainly different from my usual sleepovers with the girls."
"How so?"
"Well," She settled in, propping her elbows atop the padded armrest. She had to cherry-pick the details, something she wasn't used to doing. "I played video games for the first time."
"That's all?" Asuma chuckled as he took a puff of his cigarette. Turning his face over the rail, he blew out, letting the wind take the poison from his dry lips. "There's internet cafés for that. But you're an honor student, I suppose you struggle for free time, huh?"
"Sadly, yes," she laughed, the beginnings of some inexplicable disturbance sprouting in the hollows of her chest. This ease that she feels, talking to a man who is not her father in the presence of his lover who is not her mother, it almost felt as if they'd always been family. "But that might be changing soon." her gaze shifted over to Kurenai, her instinct to seek approval kicking in however small and unconscious.
She gave no indication that she was listening.
Asuma chuckled. "I'm glad to hear it! You really gotta live as much life as you can. You'll never have time for it when you get to be our age, trust me."
Hinata smiled at Asuma's encouragement. She knows he was someone that didn't get along with his dad. He lived the way he saw fit, just like Naruto. Of course, he inevitably answered to a higher calling by joining the Marines. And in some ways, he became the kind of man that disparaged his old self, what with his being a proponent of 'the military will straighten you out'.
At least he seemed to respect the choices he made, even the mistakes.
Perhaps, Asuma could help her bridge the gap between Kurenai and Naruto?
"How very kind of you to volunteer your poor father's experience onto me, Asuma."
So she was listening.
"Right, sorry. Not my house, not my kids." Asuma shot her a sheepish nod as he lit up another cigarette and reclined deeper in his chair.
Hinata's heart dropped. She couldn't believe it was that easy to lose his support.
What was she going to do about this situation?
The moment Hinata's head hit the pillow, she was on her phone.
The dewy heat of her bath still clung to her skin and hair, which radiated with the sweet scents of milk and lilac; what was normally the most rewarding part of her day now felt lacking.
She pulled up her text thread with Naruto on LINE and sent him a sticker of a rabbit falling asleep.
Naruto: aw, goin to bed already?
Hinata: You didn't even message me all day. :(
Naruto: thought you would be doin homework or smthn
She giggled as she snuggled deeper into bed.
Hinata: I was. I did yours, too.
Naruto: WHAT?! no way
Hinata: Why no way? I've let you copy my tests before.
Naruto: yeah not since fifth grade!
Hinata: True.
After a painfully long wait, she began to scroll up through their thread, but then her heart began to ache as the dates and types of conversations revealed how truly withered their relationship had become, how so much time has already been wasted not talking to each other as they are now.
Utilitarian replies from impersonal topics, month-long gaps leading her all the way back to second year of middle school. It should have taken her longer to reach their first messages to each other, but it didn't.
And what did they talk about?
October 4th 201X
Naruto : HINATA WE HAVE PHONES NOW! im going to send you stuff all the time! and we can talk all night too and nobody will notice! you gotta send me stuff too okay?! i just downloaded a cool ringtone and everything! i wanna hear that shit popping off!
Hinata: I'll do my best!
Scrolling a little bit at a time became a new act of masochism as she waited and waited for his reply.
April 17th 201X
Hinata: I'm sending you a picture of what's left at the bakery. Let me know what you want, okay?
No reply.
May 22nd 201X
Hinata: Naruto-kun, Iruka-sensei says you're struggling with the material. I can tutor you, you know.
Naruto : whys he telling you that?! that bastard!
Hinata: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. But still, I can help you with the material.
No reply.
September 6th 201X
Hinata: Naruto-kun, where did you go? The class is about to leave the gardens!
No reply.
If she remembered correctly, Iruka-sensei had to make everyone wait at the hotel while he picked Naruto up from the nearest police box. They said he'd been caught climbing a wall onto private property after somehow having already infiltrated the adjacent country club attached to the gardens.
Hinata swiped away the messaging app, powered off her screen and placed her phone behind her in her headboard cubby.
She's never looked at his phone, but she wondered what his half of their conversations looked like, if there was any fondness in it for him.
She's probably regularly at the bottom of his conversation threads.
He's probably busy sexting one of his girls right now.
Probably having more fulfilling conversations with girls that aren't his sister, girls that can match his goofiness and love of crass jokes. Girls who can match his energy better than she can.
Hinata blinked back the pressure squeezing around her eyes as she surveyed the loathsome pattern in their communication reasserting itself.
She grabbed her phone, the blue glow almost blinding her.
Hinata: What did you do today?
Naruto : nothing.
Hinata: Really?
Naruto : yeah. stayed in. sasuke ditched me for some booty call soon as you left.
Hinata: What about you?
Naruto : idk. got a buncha messages i havent responded to. just dont feel like dealing with them today.
Hinata: Asuma was here today, btw.
Naruto : oh yeah? bet they spent the whole day complaining about me. think he gets commission for every unwanted child he recruits?
Hinata: I actually think he's someone that will understand you, if you let him.
Naruto : sry hinata but i dont actually care. in the grand scheme of things theyre not gonna mean anything to me and vice-versa. i dont want that chain-smoking sarge for a papa, you know? it's just weird. plus he's konohamaru-chan's uncle. did you know that?
This was crushing her. Even though she desired to understand him, somehow she was the one feeling rejected here.
Because the home she's grown accustomed to is nowhere within his reach. No, rather, he doesn't even want to have this happiness with her.
He's reverted to punching back at what's his to accept.
What if he decided that he wanted to move out after all? Even after last night? Even after her determination to tether him home?
She wanted to stand by him, to misbehave in solidarity with him, but if she was being truly honest with herself, she had also hoped last night would have healed him. Enough that he felt confident if not excited to come back home.
What can she do for him if he doesn't want anything to do with here?
Hinata: I just want you to feel you belong somewhere.
Naruto : i know you do.
Maybe the her from yesterday wasn't as committed to him as she believed herself to be. She had to be fully ready to be a disappointment just like him. That was part of seeing life as he sees it. Not just the zest and the arms-wide-open way he approaches everything.
She had to be willing to be as lonely as him too.
For the first time, they texted long into the night until their eyes ached from the blue glare of the screen and Hinata complained about partial blindness in one eye.
Naruto laughed. He'd begun to drink enough for the both of them and his replies had become loose and sloppy, but she didn't mind.
She hugged her phone to her chest as she murmured to him good night, gently drifting off to sleep with a singular thought providing her comfort as it lead her towards hopeful oblivion: she'll find where he belongs, and if she can't find it, she'll create it, and whichever comes first she'll protect it to the very end.