CHAPTER SIX – PEOPLE TRYING (NatSuke)
Daisuke smiled at his reflection in the mirror, feeling extra jaunty today. Even as their schoolwork had begun piling up over the last month, he found that the time he spent with Natsuki every day was helping him cope a lot with academics. Their manga-reading sessions had only grown since their second day at school, and Daisuke didn't mind having some extra homework in the form of brushing up on what was now Act 2 in Parfait Girls; it helped preserve his sanity in between pop quizzes and an ever-increasing load of assignments.
With a final glance at the mirror, Daisuke left the boys' comfort room and made his way into the school grounds, towards one of the many stone benches that sat underneath the school's decorative roster of trees and plants. This was where he and Natsuki had decided to start meeting every day since last week to prevent other students from getting bothered at them occupying a major staircase all the time just to read manga. Though Natsuki seemed rather unsure of the idea at first—mainly due to the sheer number of students who walk around the school grounds during lunchbreak—Daisuke had managed to convince her once they found a relatively quiet spot.
As usual, Natsuki was there before him, staring rather somberly at nothing in particular. Daisuke's brow furrowed at the sight of her expression; she had been like that all morning, and while Daisuke wanted to know exactly what was up with her, he had refrained from asking. The past weeks he had spent with Natsuki had taught him a lot of things about her, from the way she brushed off any topics about herself to the way she would scold him for mixing up characters in Parfait Girls. It was why Daisuke had taken extra time and effort to follow the manga more diligently, and in spite of Natsuki's occasional scolding, he enjoyed the manga as much as he enjoyed reading with her. At times, Natsuki would even start warming up to their discussions, and those were the moments that made Daisuke happiest about their sessions.
Natsuki, meanwhile, had taken up the offer of reading one of Daisuke's favorite manga as well: Band Fist Revolution, a story of five high-school students who wished to score big in the music industry by creating their own band before they graduated. Natsuki had personally chosen the manga because of its slice-of-life and shoujo-like elements, and Daisuke was more than happy to oblige in lending the manga to her, knowing that those themes were major parts of Natsuki's manga-reading comfort zones. Though he didn't pressure her to read the manga attentively in the same way she dictated him with Parfait Girls, it warmed his heart to know that she was enjoying the manga, based from a sullen confession she had made last week.
Natsuki was looking around the school grounds as she waited for him. "Hello!" he called out as he approached. Natsuki merely nodded back when she saw him; next to her on the bench were the first chapter of Parfait Girls' second act and the seventh issue of Band Fist Revolution. She moved them aside as Daisuke sat down.
"So," she said quietly. "You've started the second act already, right?"
"Yep," replied Daisuke. "Really wanted to see what would happen after Yukari caught Minori with Tomo on their date. How about you? Which part are you on in Band Fist?"
Natsuki looked uncomfortable. "I think I was at that part where Aito and Hikaru are fighting. I don't know, I don't remember that much, alright?"
Though he was rather surprised at the way Natsuki snapped a little, Daisuke decided to let the matter be. "Ah, I see," he said with a nod. "Well, we'd better not waste any time, hmm? So who goes first?"
The way they read manga in the past month had been by taking turns. One would go first by reading their chosen manga while the other person would read along. Daisuke knew that Natsuki enjoyed this part of their session so much, especially since she got to both point out any hidden jokes or gags that Daisuke did not immediately notice, and re-enjoy the funny parts that she had forgotten after not reading a certain issue for so long. Daisuke returned this gesture by guiding her towards certain parts and scenes in Band Fist Revolution, and he helped her remember certain characters that looked or acted alike.
Today, however, it appeared that Natsuki was in no such mood to take turns reading. "Let's just read in silence, okay?" she said. "That way, we'll be able to cover more ground before lunchtime ends. Besides, it's not like we have a lot of time every day to do all this."
Daisuke raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well, it's usually more fun if we take turns like we normally do, but . . . if you insist," he said with a shrug.
With that, he picked up Parfait Girls and waited for Natsuki to do so with Band Fist Revolution. When she had reluctantly done so, he smiled, opened up to where he had left off, and started reading. Beside him, Natsuki began reading as well, but with her back turned to him.
For the next five minutes, Daisuke laughed and smiled to himself as he read. So far, though he hadn't mentioned it to Natsuki yet, his favorite character was Yukari, the tomboyish perfectionist among the manga's colorful roster of girls, while Natsuki's came as a bit of surprise—Minori, the main protagonist if the girls had any, and the clumsiest and bubbliest of the group. Daisuke thought that someone like Yukari—who resembled Natsuki in his eyes—would be her favorite character, though he knew better than to contest Natsuki's opinion. Occasionally, he'd punctuate their reading with a few questions, though Natsuki would only end up answering them with terse replies, her tone growing more irritable with each word.
A particular scene soon caused Daisuke to chuckle a bit louder—Yukari chasing Tomo around their café for making Minori cry. Quite suddenly, he heard Natsuki ask sharply, "What's so funny?"
"Oh, it's just this part," said Daisuke. "The one where Yukari's—"
"Just keep it down, okay?" Natsuki snapped. "I'm trying to read here!"
And with that, silence fell. Again, Daisuke was taken aback at Natsuki's demeanor for the day, but he decided to follow her wishes and kept his laughs down to completely silent smiles and suppressed chuckles. As he read, however, he couldn't help but feel that Natsuki was listening or watching him out of the corner of her eye instead of reading Band Fist Revolution. Concern started distracting Daisuke now as he wondered just what was happening to Natsuki to cause her to act like this. Within a few moments, he heard her ranting again—this time towards his manga.
"Ugh, really?" she murmured. "Hikaru already explained himself to you ingrates! He does everything for the band and you throw him under the bus like that?! Some friends you are, like a lot of people I know. . ."
Daisuke raised his eyebrows in surprise. He sensed that somehow, in her sullen mood today, Natsuki didn't even notice that she was ranting in his hearing. Natsuki, on the other hand, kept going on tirades for a few more moments, nitpicking this time about a few of the characters' reasons and sentiments as they interacted with Hikaru.
"Oh, really, Aito? So you don't remember the time that Hikaru helped you get back up on your feet after you flopped during that audition, you ungrateful jerk? And don't tell me that you have the best interests of the band in mind, Madoka, when it's obvious you're just doing this to suck up to Aito!"
Natsuki continued in this vein as Daisuke half-listened. Inwardly, he marveled at the idea of how Natsuki bonded with the characters in a manga that she read—another testament to her intense love for manga-reading. As her rants grew more irascible, however, Daisuke soon began to wonder whether or not this was already a good stopping point for her. He glanced up at the large clock tower that their school had and saw that they still had around fifteen minutes of reading before classes resumed for the day. As he went back to reading Parfait Girls, however, he heard a faint plop next to him, prompting him to look around.
His issue of Band Fist Revolution had fallen to the ground, but Natsuki was making no move to pick it back up. Daisuke frowned a little, wondering if she had suddenly fallen asleep while reading, but his curiosity turned into apprehension when he saw that Natsuki was starting to breathe more harshly. What the heck? Is she crying or something?
In a flash, he quickly closed Parfait Girls and reached out, gently placing his hand on Natsuki's shoulder. "N-Natsuki?" he said softly.
Natsuki, however, twisted so abruptly that he immediately let go of her. "Don't touch me!" she cried out angrily. "I'm . . . I'm fine, okay?!"
It didn't take a lot for Daisuke to know that she was lying. He stood up and walked in front of her, kneeling down to take a look at her face. Though Natsuki tried turning away again, Daisuke already saw that she was growing pale, with beads of sweat forming on her forehead and neck. Her eyes looked pained and glazed, giving the impression that she would pass out at any moment. Indeed, it seemed to look that way as Natsuki swayed dangerously, only stopping when her shoulder rested on the bench they had been sitting on.
Immediately, Daisuke grasped her at the arms to prevent her from falling over. Natsuki feebly began fighting back, trying to writhe free of Daisuke's grip. She yelled, "Let g-go! Let go of me . . . ! I said I'm alright, you s-stupid—!"
"Natsuki, you're not alright!" Daisuke said insistently. The way her words slurred a little alarmed him even further. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing!" screamed Natsuki. "I s-said I'm . . . I'm . . ."
But her voice soon faded off as she gasped. Every effort she made to struggle and yell seemed to weaken her even further. Daisuke's mind raced furiously, wondering whether the noontime heat had gotten to her, or whether she was suddenly growing ill. Then again, even at high noon, the sun hadn't been visible from behind cloud cover, and based on the feeling beneath his hands as he held her, Natsuki's arms didn't seem to be burning up from fever or any other type of sickness. The only logical conclusion that Daisuke could come up with was—
"Natsuki, did you eat lunch today?"
He had asked her so because, now that he looked back on it, he had never seen Natsuki eat that day. Usually, he would arrive at their current spot and see her eating like she always did back at her former spot on the staircase, with a small brown paper bag sitting next to her. As Daisuke glanced around now, however, he saw no paper bag, and neither did he seem to remember Natsuki exiting their classroom at lunchtime holding one.
When Natsuki didn't answer, Daisuke asked more insistently, "Natsuki, did you eat anything today?"
"What do you care?!" Natsuki retorted.
After a brief pause, Daisuke made up his mind. "Stay there!"
Without waiting for a reply, he quickly ran back towards the school and began looking for the vending machines near the cafeteria. To his immense relief, he saw from a distance that there was no one around them, so Daisuke had a clear path on his way there. He took out his wallet and thanked the heavens further that he had a few coins ready for use. He spent them all up on a variety of snacks—two small bags of crisps, two cookies and a protein bar—and bolted back out to where Natsuki was within five minutes.
Natsuki had not left the bench—whether that was because of her weakened state or because she waited for him, Daisuke could not guess at the moment. He sat down hurriedly next to her and held out a cookie. "Here, eat this, it'll help," he said earnestly.
"I don't want to!" said Natsuki. Her face had grown even paler in his absence.
"You won't last long today without eating," he beseeched her. "You h-have to—"
"Go away! S-Scram! I don't need your h-help!" She swatted his hand away, and the cookie fell to the ground. Daisuke quickly picked it up and dusted it off, thankful for the plastic wrap around it.
"Natsuki, you might collapse at any moment if you don't eat!" he remarked. "You can eat just enough so that you'll be able to get back on your feet for the rest of the day!"
"I said I don't want your help, you jerk!" she yelled. "I never wanted anyone's help! Just go back to class before I punch you in your fa—"
"Natsuki, please!"
The words rang loud and clear, prompting a few students in the distance to look around at them. Even Daisuke startled himself with the way his voice sounded so frantic. Natsuki, on the other hand, stared at him intently, her eyes still wearing that pained expression and her chest rising and falling in shallow breaths. Daisuke decided to tone his voice down a little, but he kept the imploring tone in it.
"P-Please, Natsuki," he said softly. "I know you're starving, and I can't . . . I can't let you continue the day without eating anything."
Natsuki sighed, attempting to look grumpy. Instead, she only managed to look even feebler. "No," she replied shortly.
"You have to eat," he told her persuasively.
". . . Why?" she asked testily.
Daisuke sighed. "Do you think I want to watch a friend go through something like this and not do anything about it?"
The expression behind Natsuki's eyes softened somewhat. What little anger remained on her weakened face vanished abruptly, causing her to appear even frailer in his eyes. Daisuke looked at her seriously. He couldn't bear to smile, not even to acknowledge the fact that she had relaxed her stance towards him at the moment. Once again, he held out the cookie he had been offering her. "I'm going to stay here with you until you eat. I don't care if we miss class in the process, and I absolutely don't care if you punch me in the face right now. I can't let you get on with the day like this."
A ringing silence followed his words. He gazed very intently into Natsuki's eyes, wondering just how serious he looked right now to make Natsuki stop talking. Natsuki blinked a few times. While she never broke the gaze, she also didn't show any signs of moving. Wishing to take some of the sting out of his words and expression, Daisuke stopped frowning and bowed his head with a dejected sigh, wondering if his stare was causing her to balk.
Not long after, he heard a small sob. He looked back up quickly and saw that tears were trickling down Natsuki's cheeks. Her lip was quivering, and her body started shaking as she sniffled and wept even more. Not knowing what to do, Daisuke set down the snacks he was holding on his place at the bench and hurried in front of her, kneeling down as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"N-Natsuki?" he whispered. "I'm sorry, I—"
"No, d-don't be!" Natsuki's voice came out as a wounded whimper. "I'm . . . I'm just. . ."
"J-Just what?" asked Daisuke.
Natsuki bowed her head and began sobbing even more. "I'm just h-having a . . . a really b-bad day today. . . And I d-didn't mean to . . . take it out . . . on y-you. I really . . . really d-didn't mean to. . ."
Daisuke was speechless. The way Natsuki spoke, the bitterness in her voice, and the sight of her breaking down in tears, everything tugged at his heart in one quick pang. He didn't know whether to ask her about it or to leave her be or to offer what little comfort he could. It made him feel helpless.
Natsuki continued tearfully, "Every day . . . Every s-single day . . . is so hard . . . I don't . . . know what to d-do sometimes anymore. . . I just want to c-come to school and . . . a-and . . ."
Her voice broke off, giving way to more angry sobs. Daisuke stared at her, the sympathy in his heart for her growing with each passing second. In spite of the treatment he had received from her earlier, he felt perfectly fine with all of it, especially now that he knew that there was a reason behind it all. Though he still had a plethora of questions to ask her about what she was going through, Daisuke knew that there was nothing he could do but cheer Natsuki up in the only way he knew how. Wordlessly, he stood up, took back the snacks and the Parfait Girls volume he had been reading, and knelt down before her once again.
"You know, reading Parfait Girls all alone isn't as fun as reading it with you," he said kindly. "Sometimes, I can't help but feel that I'm missing out on a few of the gags and tidbits they have in the background, and . . . who better to help me with that than you, right?"
Natsuki looked sullenly up at him, her pink eyes sparkling with tears. "W-What are you saying?" she murmured.
"Well. . ." said Daisuke as he picked up his fallen copy of Band Fist Revolution and set it aside on the bench. Carefully, he placed down the Parfait Girls copy atop it. "All I'm saying is that reading in silence just doesn't have the same vibe as you reading along next to me. That's why I'm going to ask if you wanna spend the rest of lunchtime showing me what's in store for the girls on Act 2.
"But first, of course, you need to eat." Daisuke nodded his head towards the snacks he was holding. "You can eat while we read, and you can even talk with your mouth full. I don't mind," he added with a grin.
Another staredown ensued for a few moments. Daisuke began wishing desperately that his words didn't sound too silly or halfhearted; Natsuki needed more than that at the moment, and he didn't want to make her feel worse.
Instead of taking any of the snacks, however, Natsuki began crying again. Daisuke saw her hands ball up into fists so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Immediately, Daisuke wondered whether he had said something wrong, but Natsuki spoke up in between her sobs.
"You're . . . really nice to me. . . I feel h-horrible now. . . F-For the way I've been treating y-you earlier. . ."
"Ah, no, it's okay!" Daisuke cried out quickly. "It's fine with me, alright? There's no need to feel bad about it. I'm not angry at you or anything, see? Now, if it's okay with you, you have to start eating, alright? Reading should never be done on an empty stomach!"
With that, he held out the cookie that he had been offering all the while towards her. Breathing more evenly now, as if she was trying to control her tears, Natsuki held out her hand and silently took it from him. Almost immediately, she tore off its wrapper and began nibbling at it hungrily. Feeling immense relief at the sight of her eating now, Daisuke set down the other snacks next to her and sat back down on his spot on the bench. In less than twenty seconds, Natsuki was done with the cookie, and she went for the other snacks eagerly. Daisuke patiently watched her eat. It did not take long before Natsuki began wiping away her tears and the sweat on her brow with her hand as she ate, and color began returning to her face.
"I can buy you something to drink when we get back," he told her. "We still have a bit of time before classes start."
He had not finished speaking, however, when he felt his cellphone vibrate from within his pants' pocket. Daisuke took it out and saw that he had received a group message from their class president, a message that immediately put another smile on his face:
"hello guys, we got us a free period, Prof. Tanaka not holding classes after lunch, no sub, just be back by 2PM"
Daisuke chuckled, prompting Natsuki to look up as she was eating. "What are you laughing about now . . . ?" she asked.
"We got us a bit more time to read for today, it seems," he replied.
With an extra hour under their belt, Daisuke continued reading with Natsuki, who soon eased back into her normal self. Though her eyes were still a bit red from crying, she had regained her energy and strength after she had eaten everything Daisuke had gotten for her. As an added measure, Daisuke went back inside the school to get her a bottle of mineral water, just as he had promised. All the while, Natsuki avoided looking at him, though she soon got past that when they started reading Act 2 of Parfait Girls together. Soon, the two of them were laughing and debating and pointing out clever jokes and scenes once again.
"Tomo's a big idiot for thinking that he could go out with Kanae without making Minori feel bad about it," said Natsuki. "Really dense of him to do that. And to think he assured Minori that everything's fine between the two of them! I really wanted Yukari to stomp a new one into his head when he got caught."
"But personally, though, I think Yukari likes Tomo as well," Daisuke offered. "I mean, she has that typical tsundere arc going for her, and maybe she's just hiding it under her rough and superior aura, you know?"
Natsuki frowned. "You'd better watch your guesses, or else you'll be figuring out too much of the plot already before you even get there, and that's no fun at all!"
Daisuke grinned. "Well, that's what makes me enjoy reading it."
When they had finished the first issue of Act 2, there was still half an hour left before their classes resumed. Because other students had no free period like they did, the school grounds became a perfect reading place for them thanks to the peace and quiet. Now, it was Daisuke's turn to watch and speak as Natsuki continued reading Band Fist Revolution. Daisuke took this time to ask her about what he had heard during her rants earlier, particularly about Madoka the keyboard player, Aito the bassist, and Hikaru, the band's leader and vocalist. Natsuki's favorite character came as no surprise for him.
"Hikaru's doing his best, and they're still trying to blame him for how disastrous their gig turned out!" Natsuki huffed. "He made some mistakes, I'll give them that, but everyone else did, right? It's really unfair for the others to think everything was his fault!"
"I completely agree," said Daisuke. His own favorite character was the band's comically oblivious but incredibly talented drummer, Junpei, whom Natsuki didn't like much because of his hippie-like nature and his tendency to ignore conflict. Daisuke decided not to mention him for now. "I know a lot of people who'd do what Aito and Madoka are doing. It kinda turned me off when they did that."
"Ugh, people can be really stupid and unappreciative sometimes," Natsuki hissed. "It just makes me really angry when they're as bad as some of the people I know in real life."
"I understand," Daisuke told her. Her words made him wonder again about the meaning behind what she had said earlier when she had been crying. Privately, a feeling of protectiveness began creeping into him as he also imagined who was giving Natsuki such a bad day that she ended up not eating anything for a school day. For now, however, he just settled with reading and having fun with her, content that he had managed to help her recover.
Ten minutes before two o'clock, the two of them decided to stop reading and begin making their way back to their classroom. Daisuke cleaned up the food wrappers that Natsuki had left behind, while Natsuki stood by and waited for him in silence, clutching Parfait Girls and Band Fist Revolution across her chest. When he had thrown away the wrappers in a nearby trash can and dusted his hands clean, the two of them started their walk across the grounds.
Natsuki spoke up after a moment of silence. "Thanks. . ."
"Don't mention it," he told her. "I kinda wish I could've done it earlier. Getting you snacks, I mean."
"No, that's okay," said Natsuki. Her voice was firm and calm, though Daisuke sensed that it wasn't because she was angry at him. "What you did was really enough."
Silence fell once more between them. Daisuke held open the doors leading into the school corridors for Natsuki to enter first. She passed by without looking at him, though she said another word of thanks. Instead of following, Daisuke stared after her, watching her walk quietly and timidly in the vacant corridors towards the 3-D classroom. He sighed as he watched her go, remembering the worry that had gripped him when she nearly collapsed, and again imagining what had caused her to become like that. In a way, Daisuke wanted to do more to help her, especially since he sensed that this was not the first—or the last—time that this had happened to Natsuki.
Just then, another idea popped up in his head. After a moment's thoughtful pause, he smiled. Of course. Closing the doors leading into the corridors, he made his way towards the classroom after Natsuki.
He knew what to do for the next day. And again, it'd be a surprise for her.
The following day, Natsuki sat alone once again in their usual spot on the school grounds, watching the leaves fall idly from the tree that towered above the bench she was sitting on. She was feeling slightly better today, as she managed to eat a little for breakfast and packed a sandwich for lunch. What's more, her father seemed to have recovered from his most recent spell in the past week. Though the memory of it still rang clearly inside her head, she was just thankful that it had passed.
She was greatly thankful for Daisuke as well. In spite of her pride and her harsh nature trying to help her get by, Natsuki felt that if she had gone on with not eating anything for yesterday, she would have ended up in the school infirmary as a best case scenario. Her father would have been notified about what happened, instigating even more problems when she'd arrive back home. Natsuki shuddered, not even wanting to imagine what could have happened then. Thankfully, Daisuke had saved her with his genuine compassion and his array of newly-bought vending machine snacks. Her heart leapt and her lip quivered a little as she remembered yesterday.
"Hello!" Daisuke's voice made her look up. Though she wanted to at least smile a little, she stopped when she saw what he was carrying apart from the second issue of Parfait Girls, Act 2: a couple of small blue bento boxes.
"W-What are those?" she asked when he had gotten near.
Daisuke flashed his patented gentle smile at her. "Well, I've decided that starting today, we're gonna be eating lunch here."
"'We?'"
"Yep!" Daisuke laughed a little. "Why else do you think I've got two bento boxes with me?"
Natsuki began feeling incredibly self-conscious. "B-B-But . . . why?" she stammered weakly. To rally herself, she began lacing anger into her words. "I mean, I've got my own sandwich right here, you big d-dummy! You didn't have to go and . . . and . . ."
Her statement faded somewhat when the smile never left Daisuke's face. She tried frowning at him, if only to hide her discomfiture, but she knew it was a vain effort. With a huff, she looked down and scooted over to one side of the bench, a signal for Daisuke to go and sit on the opposite side. Daisuke sat down and laid the bento boxes in between them, careful not to place them too close to her Parfait Girls copy or his copy of Band Fist Revolution. When he opened them, Natsuki saw that they were filled with rice and topped with pork dumplings, scrambled egg rolls and sautéed greens, with a pair of metal chopsticks safely tucked away in a small side compartment next to where all the food was. The sight of the food made Natsuki's stomach rumble slightly.
"W-Where did you even g-get these?" she asked.
"Well, our family runs a small eatery near downtown," replied Daisuke. "I asked my mom if she could make a couple of them for me to bring today. She was delighted because I finally got around to bringing my own lunch to school again like I did back in middle school. She kept asking me about who was going to eat the other one, though."
Natsuki felt even more embarrassed now. "What d-did you tell her?"
Daisuke looked at her and grinned again, his amber eyes seemingly shining with an amiable flourish. "I told her it was for a good friend of mine."
Words failed Natsuki, even as her emotions began riling up. She didn't know whether to feel angry or happy or sad or even more mortified, and for a few moments, she could do nothing but stare into Daisuke's eyes. Her defense mechanism was going haywire trying to figure out whether she was being treated too lightly or not. Daisuke, on the other hand, simply picked up one of the bento boxes and handed it to her. Natsuki took it wordlessly, her eyes never leaving Daisuke even as he looked down to start eating from his own bento box.
Everything suddenly felt better for Natsuki. Her defenses started easing down, and once again, Daisuke came across as a far cry from all the people she had ever known. She looked away and picked up the chopsticks that came with the box with trembling hands. With one more sidelong glance at Daisuke, she smiled appreciatively.
Though he didn't seem to notice her smile at him, Natsuki was content enough.