Chapter 32: A Bad Idea

Sirius and Tonks stepped out into the hall. Sirius and Cassiopeia had just announced that they would like Remus and Tonks to be Baby S.J.'s godparents. Tonks was overwhelmed. She did not know what to say. She knew that she was not a good influence on S.J. She was determined to make Sirius see her point.

"This is a bad idea. Horrible idea," Tonks said grimly.

"Are you saying that my wife and I made a bad choice?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," Tonks replied. "I'm not as innocent as you think me to be."

Sirius shook his head. "That was a rhetorical question. And Cassie doesn't have bad ideas. We trust you."

Tonks grimaced. "You shouldn't. Look, I drink a lot with the band. I've done drugs but stopped and well."

Tonks's face twisted, as if in pain. "I'm not…I'm not."

Sirius shook his head and took Tonks by the shoulders. "We don't care. We don't. You saved Remus, which makes you perfect. You love that baby. Please, say yes."

Tonks took a deep sigh. "Sirius, I'm not a virgin anymore. I didn't want to say that in front of Remus or Cassie. I'm sorry. I just don't think I would be a good influence on him."

Sirius ignored Tonks's confession. He was determined to make her see that she was a perfect godmother. "Tonks, we don't care. What matters is that you are willing to die for that baby. You love him. That's all that matters. Please, I beg you."

"You seriously didn't hear what I just said, did you?" Tonks asked.

"So what? I set Remus on Snape as a werewolf. And somehow, Cassie thought I'd be a good father," Sirius said with a half-smile

. Tonks sighed, knowing she had to let Sirius know. "Sirius, I had sex…with Bill Weasley."

Sirius's eyes widened. "Really?"

Tonks shook her head glumly. "Yeah, like three years ago. I've also had sex with the drummer of the band."

Sirius could not believe what he heard. "Merlin's beard, Nymphie!"

"What?" Tonks asked.

"Just shocked, is all," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Well, I'm not the innocent little girl anymore, Uncle Sirius," Tonks said firmly. "I grew up, and I don't remember half of my life."

Sirius shook his head, showing he understood. "You're a woman, I know. Why else do you think Cassie and I chose you?"

"Cause I'm the only one who talks to you still," Tonks said.

"No. Because you have shown you've grown up. Your actions prove you're the perfect godmother for Remus. That's why," Sirius said earnestly.

Sirius took Tonks's hand. He had a pleading look in his eyes. "Please, Nymphie. I know you'll be a wonderful godmother. Cassie knew what she was doing. And honestly, if anything should happen to me or Cassie, we want to leave our son with someone we trust and that's you."

"And what if something happens to me?" Tonks asked. "Cause the Auror business is very dangerous. I could die every time I go on a mission. And I'm an assassin for the Ministry."

Sirius sighed. He knew Tonks had a risky job. However, in his and Cassie's eyes, Tonks was still the better godmother. "Then Remus will have my cousin Andromeda. But you were our first choice. Please, Nymphie."

Tonks paused a long moment. Much like Cassiopeia, she knew that it was no good arguing with Sirius. However, that did not deter her from trying. Tonks knew that Sirius and Cassiopeia would not let this subject go. Tonks decided to end it there. "I'll think about it."

"Not to be pushy, but why can't you say yes?" Sirius demanded.

"I have things to work out. I have to get my life straight, alright?" Tonks replied.

"Please do. Cassie is never wrong," Sirius said. "When you think about it, let your answer be yes."

Tonks rolled her eyes. She could not be a godmother when the intended godfather was a stranger to her. "Plus it would be a good idea to get to know the godfather."

"Well, now would be a good time," Sirius said.

Tonks thought about Remus and his distance. No matter how much she tried to know him, he would never let her. "I wish I could, but he's holding back. Maybe you should tell him not to."

"I will for my son's sake," Sirius said determinedly.

"Right," Tonks said.

For a long moment, Tonks stared off into space. She was completely lost in a fog.

Sirius snapped his fingers and waved in front of Tonks's face. "Nymphie, hello?"

Tonks snapped out of her stupor for a moment. "There was a man there twelve years ago. He picked me up after I came down with Harry. I was crying. He told me everything would be alright."

Tonks lost herself in the memory of that man. It all seemed so familiar to her, but yet it was not. Tonks could not figure out what she was trying to remember.

"Was he wearing black?" Sirius asked.

"No," Tonks replied. "A cloak, but normal clothes."

"Did he have a large nose and black, greasy hair?"

Tonks's face twisted in a pained expression. "No... I don't know. I can't see his face. He...he was holding me. I was crying. I could hear Harry crying. You were holding him."

"You're trying to remember, and I'm trying to forget," Sirius laughed bitterly.

"Who was that man?" Tonks asked. "You know, don't you?"

"I have a hunch, but I wish I was wrong," Sirius said.

"Not the man upstairs. I know that was Severus," Tonks said. "The one downstairs with you. The one who held me as I was crying."

"That was Remus," Sirius said. "You held him so tight that night."

Tonks thought so hard about this, but no memory came. Everyone told her she loved this man. For Tonks, there was no recollection of this love. It was like a blank page in her life. "The man with Cassie right now. I hardly know him. I only met him this year."

"Well, now you have some time to get to know him," Sirius said brightly.

"Right," Tonks said.

"Come. Cassie is probably wondering what's taking so long," Sirius said.

Tonks wanted to say something further, but she decided not to. She knew that Sirius could not be argued with. He and Cassiopeia were both very stubborn. Tonks knew that there was no way to convince them otherwise. Tonks sighed and thought about getting her life in order before making any agreements. If she was going to be a godmother, she needed to know the godfather. Yet Remus would not let her know him. Tonks had so many mysteries in her head. She only hoped they would be solved soon.

A/N: So, will Nymphie ever be S.J's godmother? You'll find out later. I hope you enjoyed this. Thank you to my beautiful readers and my best friend, Roza Anne. Thank you. Merry Christmas!