"Muah." Taeyeon planted her lips against the love letter. "Work your magic, baby."
Quickly turning her head around and finding herself alone in the hallway, Taeyeon urgently slipped the letter into her crush's locker.
Even when the job was done, Taeyeon's heart was beating like crazy because in a few minutes Baekhyun will open up his locker and find her confession wrapped neatly in a golden, sparkly letter with a baby blue bow to top it off.
"Oh, what's this?"
Taeyeon's ears perked up and her head poked out of her locker to the direction of Baekhyun's locker.
But what she saw wasn't Baekhyun holding her letter.
It was Tiffany Hwang. The plain, nerdy Tiffany Hwang holding her signature Taeyeon-specialized love letter with those unworthy hands and germs all over it.
Taeyeon felt her knees go weak. And now, she was on the brink of fainting, because she just realized that she had placed the letter into the locker next to Baekhyun's.
Way to go, Taeyeon. One job, you had one job and you screwed it up.
Word traveled fast, because by lunchtime the entire school had found out about Taeyeon's love note for Tiffany.
Unfortunately, Taeyeon didn't have the heart to completely crush the girl's heart by admitting that the note wasn't meant for her since the younger girl had been so excited, promising to be the best girlfriend ever.
Instead she decided to come up with the craziest solution to her problem.
Be the worst girlfriend ever, so that Tiffany would lose interest in her and naturally, a break up would be rewarded to Taeyeon.
Taeyeon was the best at everything. How hard could it be to get Tiffany to break up with her? Piece of cake.
Option 1: Be clingy.
Nothing is more suffocating than a clingy girlfriend.
"Taeyeon, I really have to work." Tiffany reminded Taeyeon as they stood behind the counter of Tiffany's workplace, also known as the ice cream shop.
Taeyeon pouted as her head slowly looked around the room to find some of their classmates. What if one of them decided to confess to Tiffany without realizing that she was already taken?
"I don't care. You're mine." Taeyeon confessed as she wrapped her arms around the latter so that she was positioned giving the girl a backhug.
She couldnt believe she just said that. Some customers might have heard it as well since their eyes were suddenly glued on Tiffany and her. Unable to take the embarrassing ordeal any longer, Taeyeon buried her face onto Tiffany's back. The warmth and softness had Taeyeon feeling slightly better surprisingly.
But it shouldn't be long before Tiffany gets upset over the unwanted attention and Taeyeon's clinginess.
"Taeyeon." Tiffany twisted in her arms so that they were now facing each other.
Taeyeon suddenly wanted to let go of the girl. It was one thing to be clingy without having to see how Tiffany was reacting to it. It was another to be clinging like a koala while face to face.
"Do you like mint chocolate chip ice cream? Why don't you sit down over there and enjoy your ice cream." Tiffany suggested with the biggest scoop of ice cream Taeyeon has ever seen.
Having a girlfriend that works at an ice cream shop with the perks of possibly getting free ice cream?
Of course Taeyeon did what any ice cream lover would. She quickly released herself from Tiffany and snatched the cone out of the girl's hand, taking a big satisfied lick from the top.
Option 2: Be jealous.
Jealousy is the green monster in everyone. It gets you all riled up, making you say things you've obviously been keeping inside for a while now. It's selfish and possessive and ugly.
All three things that Taeyeon is certainly not, so everything she is saying to Tiffany right now is obviously an act.
"I don't like how you always touch Yoona, and kiss Seohyun's cheek, and laugh at Sooyoung's jokes! They're not even that funny!" There's a sudden feeling of intensity, and possibly anger in Taeyeon's tone.
"I'm a touchy person and you got to admit that Sooyoung's costume was hilarious." Tiffany explained, feeling the need to hug her girlfriend who was clearly upset as her body heaved up and down. She didn't realize how much Taeyeon was holding in until the girl suddenly blew up.
"How do you think that makes me feel? I'm your girlfriend, yet we haven't gone as far as hugging." The corner of Taeyeon's eyes suddenly pricked with tears.
Either her acting was so good that she had convinced her own mind to believe that she was jealous, or she was actually jealous. Had to be the former, because there's no way Taeyeon is jealous forreals.
"I'm sorry, Taeyeon. I'll only hug, kiss, touch and laugh at your jokes from now on." Tiffany immediately pulled Taeyeon into her arms, coaxing the latter who was quietly crying in her chest. Taeyeon was obviously feeling neglected.
Option 3: Be Stoop-id.
Intelligence is not necessarily a necessity when it comes to a relationship. But being as dumb as a lifeless potato might say otherwise.
"Oh no." Taeyeon feigned horror. "I failed the math test again."
The math exam was actually open book and with partners. The fact that Taeyeon had failed it should've told Tiffany that Taeyeon wasn't as smart as her gpa made her out to be.
"You probably want to break up with me now since I'll most likely fail high school and be a beggar on the streets."
Taeyeon was sure she had succeeded in convincing Tiffany to break up with her, but then something unexpected happened.
"I won't sit around and watch you give up, Taeyeon. We are going to have tutoring sessions at my place from now on."
"W-what?"
Within minutes of being given practice problems by Tiffany, Taeyeon had answered every question perfectly.
"Now can I have some of that jelly?" Taeyeon's eyes had never left the bag of jelly in Tiffany's hands. Even when she was writing down the answers in lightning speed, all she could think about was sinking her teeth in those gummy fishes.
"Yes." Tiffany proudly patted Taeyeon's head before feeding her girlfriend one fish at a time. Taeyeon realized what tasted even better than eating jelly. Eating jelly when it's being fed to you.
Option 4: Be bum-looking.
There is no greater turn-off than a girlfriend whose appearance is that of a potato. Even a hobo's fashion is better than what Taeyeon is wearing.
"Um, Taeyeon, are you sure you want to jog in those sandals?"
Taeyeon scratched her tangled, messy hair and her armpits. "Yeah, don't sweat it."
"Okay. Let me just take off my jacket and then we can start our jog."
Taeyeon suddenly felt like she's been lied to after all this time. Seeing Tiffany now, dressed in a tight pink t-shirt and matching pink shorts should be illegal.
"I'll be right back." Taeyeon quickly said as she ran back into the house to change into something decent.
Tiffany was just too cute and sexy at the same time. Taeyeon didn't have the heart to embarrass the girl around the park, dressed as a bum. She just couldn't.
Option 5: Be annoying.
This option is self-explanatory. No one likes annoying people.
"When they say double-stuffed oreos, did they actually double the amount of filling or is it just a sham?"
"Why do we lock up animals in zoos? Are we trying to say that those animals are criminals?"
"My favorite color is purple or black. What's yours, Tiffany?"
"Whatcha doing?" Taeyeon swayed side to side as Tiffany continued to scribble down the answers to her homework.
"Do you think unicorns actually exist? I have a feeling they do."
Just as Tiffany was answering who she wished would disappear at the moment, her pencil was yanked out of her hand to become a microphone for Taeyeon. "Tell me whyyy, wae mami mami jaku heundeullini~"
"Taeyeon!" The sound of Tiffany's hand suddenly slamming down on the table made Taeyeon jump.
Tiffany didn't look too happy with that frown on her face. It must mean that she was finally going to cut ties with Taeyeon. This was it. It was finally happening.
"Yes?" Taeyeon innocently asked. Her desire to smile was thrown out the window when she suddenly found herself tackled onto the bed with Tiffany lying on top.
"Since we're on the topic of randomness, I have a question too." Tiffany smirked playfully. That's clearly not the look of someone who wants to break up. "What do your lips taste like? I'm guessing rainbows and sunshine."
Before Taeyeon could answer that it would taste like mint since they had just come back from the ice cream shop, Tiffany had kissed her, shutting her up instantly.
Just a little more, Taeyeon promised herself. Just a few seconds more and then Taeyeon would pull away from the taste of strawberry on Tiffany's lips.
Just a liiiiiittle...
More. And more. And more.
Option Desperation: When all else fails, be as cowardly as you can be.
It all started with a note, then it should end with a note.
Taeyeon didn't bother hiding out somewhere to watch Tiffany open her locker and find the breakup note.
For some reason, it was too unbearable for Taeyeon to see Tiffany heartbroken. So she went along her day as usual.
When Tiffany didnt show up at the table for lunch, Taeyeon's doubt was confirmed. Tiffany had gotten the message, and now they were officially broken up.
Taeyeon was finally free to ask Baekhyun out. She was finally unattached.
This called for a celebration, so Taeyeon feasted on a gallon of store-bought mint chocolate chip ice cream when she got home.
She was celebrating, she told herself as she shoved a spoonful of ice cream in her system. Then why was she watching Spongebob SquarePants and crying her heart out? Maybe it was because Tiffany used to imitate Spongebob's laugh.
The next day came rolling by ever so slowly, and Taeyeon caught herself multiple times walking over to Tiffany's locker.
But throughout the day, Tiffany was nowhere to be seen. Even when Taeyeon had hesitantly snuck over to the ice cream shop, a worker she didn't recognize was working during Tiffany's shift.
The guilt started eating at her insides. Could it be that Tiffany was so devastated over their breakup that she did something reckless?
Taeyeon didn't waste another minute in guessing as she ran out of the ice cream shop to go to Tiffany's house. She had to see the girl. One day without her was too long.
When she had barged into the pink room and found Tiffany lying in bed, looking dead as a grave, all suspicions came true.
"Tiffany!" Taeyeon cried, latching onto the girl's lifeless body. How could she be so stupid? How could she hurt the girl that she loved?
"T-Taeyeon, can't b-breathe." Tiffany croaked.
"You're alive." Taeyeon realized, but she didn't loosen her grip on the girl. It's been too long since that day. "I'm so sorry about that note. I didn't mean any of those words."
"Note? What note?"
"Didn't you read the note in your locker two days ago?"
Tiffany shook her head. "I was feeling sick that day so I went home after I put away my things in my locker. But there wasn't a note inside."
If Tiffany didn't get the note then who did?
*flashback to two days ago*
"Chanyeol, you coward! How could you break up with me through a letter!" Baekhyun screamed and threw his shoe at his defenseless, secret boyfriend.
"I'm curious, though. What did the note say?"
In all her attempts of trying to break their relationship, Taeyeon learned a valuable lesson.
Only option 1: Be honest. Just do it. There's no other way around this.
"It said I realized how big of an idiot I've been. And more importantly, how much you mean to me. There can be no one but you. I love you Tiffany."
Taeyeon felt a weight lifted off her chest once the words of her heart left her mouth. Then seeing Tiffany's crimson red cheeks confirmed Taeyeon's next question.
"I love you too."
Just as Taeyeon leaned down to kiss her, Tiffany turned away.
"Don't. You'll get sick if you kiss me."
It was an outrageous reason, because Tiffany was practically telling her to not indulge herself in her favorite snack.
And Taeyeon's snack at the moment is kissing Tiffany, so...
"Sharing is caring." Taeyeon responded before closing the space between them.
...
...
"Sooyoung, are you serious? Why can't you write your own proposal letter to your own girlfriend?" Taeyeon asked, sorting the legal documents into her briefcase. After gruesome years of working under her father at the firm, she was finally promoted to junior partner, which meant no social life but just enough time for a daily six hours of sleep.
"Because, Taengoo…" Sooyoung whined, grating Taeyeon's ears. "I can't write like you. Your words are ooey, gooey, cheesy, cringy but in a Shakepearean way. Plus, didn't you mention how you won Tiffany's heart with a love letter that was meant for some gay dude?"
Her ears felt hot. "Are you trying to sweet talk me into writing your proposal for Sunny? Because it's not working since you really suck at it."
"Oh, right. Please, please, please Taengoo! For me? Your favorite cousin?" Sooyoung let out a puppy-like whimper on the phone, which was worse than the giant's whining. "Remember when you accidentally scratched your dad's car and I took the blame for you? Or the time you snuck out late at night to visit Tiffany and I covered for you by saying that you were sleeping over at my place? Or the time when—"
"Okay, Choi, I get it!" Taeyeon grumbled, sighed, and closed her briefcase with a little too much strength than was necessary. "You win. I'll write your proposal letter for you."
"Really?! Thanks, Taengoo! I will owe you for life."
"Yeah, yeah. It's your life that will change forever."
"How so?"
"For one, we're only twenty-seven. Marriage is for when you're thirty or older. There's honestly no rush right now. Two, weddings are overrated and time-consuming. A lot of planning needs to be involved which will make it difficult to balance your work during those months. Three, divorce rates are going up. And lastly, brace yourself Sooyoung, but I hear the sex isn't as good once you get married." Taeyeon waited for Sooyoung's scream of horror, but instead, what she got was a hysterical laugh.
"You're really against marriage, aren't you?"
"Well, no, I just don't think I'm ready for marriage right now, especially since I just made partner."
"Oh, well, I think Sunny and I are ready for it. She's been hinting it for a while actually."
Taeyeon didn't know what to say to that. She didn't agree with Sooyoung, but if this was what she felt about marriage, then by all means, she was happy for her cousin.
"I think that's why it'll work out. Sunny and I are on the same page about this, just like how you and Tiffany have decided to wait it out for a while longer. Anyways, I'll come by to pick up the letter when you're done. Just text me when you are, okay? Thanks, again. Bye."
"Bye." Taeyeon muttered, but once the call ended, it left her thinking about her girlfriend of ten years. They never talked about marriage since the subject never came up, but Tiffany surely shared her view, right? "Of course. She would have mentioned marriage if she actually wanted it." She reassured herself as she started writing Sooyoung's proposal on a baby blue cardstock paper.
An hour later, the letter was plopped onto her desk as she sleepily made her way to the master bedroom.
"Taetae?" Tiffany groggily mumbled in the dark as Taeyeon fell asleep on top of her.
"Too tired. Must sleep." She answered robotically, nuzzling her face onto Tiffany's flat tummy.
"Too sleepy to change out of your work clothes or to tell me about your day?" Tiffany chuckled as she brushed her fingers through Taeyeon's hair.
"Shh." Taeyeon hushed lowly, blowing warm air into Tiffany's exposed belly button and making the girl shiver. "Paperwork. Yelling. Idiots at work. Annoying giant. Proposal letter."
"Proposal letter?" Tiffany probed, but Taeyeon was already knocked out cold on top of her.
As it was a Sunday, Taeyeon woke up eight hours later. But not by the usual sweet-like-honey kiss. Nope, it was not gentle at all as Tiffany pounced on her, startling her awake as Tiffany's deafening screams nearly destroyed her eardrums.
"Yes, yes, a million times yes!"
"W-what?" Taeyeon croaked out, her brain half-asleep still. The random words hadn't registered until she noticed the all-too-familiar baby blue letter waving in Tiffany's hand.
"I will absolutely marry you, Taeyeon!" And what came after Tiffany's excited reaction was a post-proposal kiss so passionate and out of this world that it left Taeyeon speechless and sweating bullets.
Oh, shit, I'm so screwed.