(+82-XXX-XXXX): Way to go, you fucking SCAMMER. Thanks to you I'll have to starve for the next week to make up for the money you ripped me off of, you piece of shit! What kind of asshole puts up an ad saying they're selling a super Mario collectibles set but then mail My Little Pony stuffed dolls that look like they came from a Happy Meal?! Go fuck yourself!
Tiffany continued to stare at the message for a long time. This was the first time she ever got hate mail from a random stranger. Even though she knew that this was a mistake and that the message wasn't meant for her, she still felt personally attacked.
(Tiffany): I think you got the wrong number.
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Sure, Jan. YEAH, RIGHT, ASSHOLE.
(Tiffany): No, I'm serious. I understand that you're probably upset right now, but this isn't who you think it is. I honestly don't even know how you got this number.
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Don't worry about how I got it. Just know that I wasted two nights of sleep to find you after you shut down your online shop. You thought you could hide from me? Well, think again. Be prepared to get your ass handed to you in court. I'll be getting more than my $500 back after this.
(Tiffany): You spent $500 on a bunch of dolls?!
(+82-XXX-XXXX): COLLECTIBLES! And they were supposed to be a wedding gift
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Wait, why am I telling you this? Just try not to leave the country. The cops will find you if you try
(Tiffany): For the last time, I'm not the scammer! I don't even know who the scammer is, and I didn't do any deals with you. I'm sorry for what happened to you, but you won't be getting a cent from me.
(+82-XXX-XXXX): We'll see, Scammer. I'll give you two options. Either you give me back my money with interest for the stress you put me under or you actually send me the Mario collectibles. I'll pretend this never happened and drop the charges.
(Tiffany): How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not the guy that scammed you. My name is Tiffany, and I've been out of the country for the past two weeks. I actually just got back this morning.
A minute passed, and then another.
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Ha. I almost believed you. Trying to trick me with your fake western identity now? Do I look stupid to you?
(Tiffany): omg. Okay, humor me for a second. If I were the scammer, why would I respond to your texts when I could just ignore it?
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Because you're scared that I'll call the cops on you
(Tiffany): I'm not scared at all since I know I'm innocent. You can call the cops on me, but it'll just be a waste of all our time once you find out I'm not the scammer. Instead of directing your anger at me, I suggest you call up your credit card company if you paid online and file a police report if you haven't already
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Shit. You're not the scammer, are you?
(Tiffany): No, I'm not
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Omg I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for going off on you. I really thought I found the guy, and so I just kind of snapped when I sent you those texts. I must have sounded like a complete asshole
(Tiffany): All's forgiven. You didn't know. Plus, I'd be losing my shit too if I practically got robbed of $500 over a bunch of dolls
(+82-XXX-XXXX): …
(+82-XXX-XXXX): They're COLLECTIBLES, and I already said that they're not for me. They were meant for a friend as a wedding present since she loves those ugly Mario collectibles so much
(Tiffany): I'm sure she'd understand and appreciate the thought anyways
(+82-XXX-XXXX): /sighs/ I'd rather give her the real thing though. Nothing ever goes right for me. Sometimes I think I'm cursed.
(Tiffany): Hey
(+82-XXX-XXXX): What
(Tiffany): Wanna hear a joke?
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Random… but okay
(Tiffany): Knock knock
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Who's there?
(Tiffany): It's Amee
(+82-XXX-XXXX): It's Amee who?
(Tiffany): It's Amee, Mario!
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Wow, too soon.
(Tiffany): Oops. But did I at least get a smile out of you?
(+82-XXX-XXXX): A lip twitch
(Tiffany): I'll take it.
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Thanks for the joke, Scammer
(Tiffany): /sighs/ Are we back to this again?
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Sorry, habit. What's your name again?
(Tiffany): Tiffany
(+82-XXX-XXXX): Taeyeon
(Tiffany): Nice to meet you, Taeyeon
(+82-XXX-XXXX): It's nice to meet you too, Scamm—kidding lol—Tiffany
(Tiffany): Ha. Ha. Not funny T_T
Later that night, Tiffany and Taeyeon texted each other til the sun appeared. What started out as a random hate message had blossomed into a sort of friendship as the two continued to message each other every day.
(Taeyeon): I bet you look like a nerd with glasses
(Tiffany): Rude. Not all nerds wear glasses and there's nothing wrong with being a nerd.
(Taeyeon): Says the nerd
(Tiffany): I am not a nerd
(Taeyeon): If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
(Tiffany): I'll prove it. Want a pic?
(Taeyeon): Heck yes. The curiosity has actually been bugging me for days.
(Tiffany): Well, feast your eyes on this. I have to warn you though I'm a babe magnet. Try not to fall in love with me.
(Taeyeon): while I'm still young here?
(Tiffany): Ok, calm your tits lol (Insert a picture that Tiffany had found on the internet: Asian woman with huge spectacles, a hunched back, mismatched clothing and the most prominent bunny teeth that should be on the Guinness World Record.)
(Tiffany): Well? What do you think?
(Taeyeon): Uhhh…
(Tiffany): Wrong, you're supposed to say, "Damn, you is one fine specimen"
(Taeyeon): Damn
(Tiffany): Damn what?
(Taeyeon): Sorry, that's all I got.
(Tiffany): Oh… T_T
(Taeyeon): No, I mean I just didn't expect you to look like that. Fuck. I sound so damn shallow. I'm sorry. I'm an ass
(Tiffany): Yeah, you are, but I'll forgive you if you send me a pic of yourself and let me make fun of you back
(Taeyeon): Fine, do your worst. Don't expect a model, okay? Plus, I was eating when you asked for it, so I might look a bit bloated here.
(Tiffany): Damn O_O
(Taeyeon): That's all you got?
(Tiffany): Damn, you is one fine specimen
(Taeyeon): LOL thanks, I guess. And about earlier, you really don't look bad at all. I'd date you.
Tiffany couldn't help it. She let her phone slip from her fingers as she laughed to herself under the comfort of her fluffy, pink blanket.
(Tiffany): I'll take your word for it. Expect me at your doorstep if I'm still single when I turn fifty.
(Taeyeon): I'm a woman of my word. Hey, can I ask for your opinion? Do you think I should wear a bow or a tie for the wedding? I got to play the part of 'best man' and look my bestest.
Tiffany stared at the two pictures that Taeyeon had sent her a little longer than necessary. The woman was eye candy and way better looking than any model.
(Tiffany): Oh yeah, it's tomorrow, right?
(Taeyeon): Yup. I know I'm going to bawl my eyes out. I'm already feeling sorry for everyone around me.
(Tiffany): I wish I could join you.
(Taeyeon): Maybe you should. You can be my plus one.
(Tiffany): I wish T_T I'll be busy all day tomorrow.
(Taeyeon): Oh, right. I forgot about that. Maybe we can meet up in person one day?
(Tiffany): Name the place and time and I'm there. Oh, and wear the tie, it makes you look chique.
(Taeyeon): Okay. Well, I better get to bed. Night
(Tiffany): Goodnight
Tiffany pulled the blanket over her chin and went to sleep as well since she also had a friend's wedding to attend to tomorrow, being the maid of honor and all.
Tiffany had worn a pink dress for her friend Sooyoung's wedding. Because it was winter and below freeze-your-butts-off temperature, Tiffany had thrown on a coat as she rushed inside the wedding chapel.
"Fany!" Sooyoung lifted her up in a bear hug and twirled her around. "You made it!"
"Soo, I'm the maid of honor, remember? You'd kill me if I didn't show up."
"You know me so well. Follow me, I'll introduce you to Sunny's 'best man.' You're gonna like her, maybe even like her like her, and then I'll be the one going to your wedding. Cross your fingers."
Was this that thing soon-to-be-married people get when all they feel is joy and love and can't help but want to spread that happiness to others? Ew.
Tiffany tugged at her belt as she walked across the halls. She might have bought a size too small for her waist, but that discomfort was soon lost on her when she finally met Sunny's supposed maid of honor, leaving her shook and taken aback.
"Fany, I want you to meet Sunny's 'best man.'"
"Hi, I'm Taeyeon. It's nice to finally meet you, Fany."
Even that nickname sounded so much better coming from Taeyeon's husky voice that Tiffany didn't feel the need to tell her it wasn't actually her full name.
"Likewise." Their hands shook, and maybe her nerves were still trying to adjust to the warmth in the room, but she felt tingles from their contact.
Maybe Sooyoung was onto something. There was a huge possibility that Tiffany already liked her liked her.
...
...
Ever since she was officially introduced to Taeyeon, Tiffany had spent the last ten minutes observing the girl. There hadn't been much interaction between them since Sunny and Taeyeon's mutual friends had taken Taeyeon's full attention before she could get another word in.
"You're interested in her."
Tiffany turned to Sooyoung with the smile never leaving her face. "What makes you say that?"
"You're not being very discreet, you realize that right? You haven't stopped looking at her since she showed up. It's quite creepy actually." Sooyoung leaned forward to whisper, "Either make your move now or put on some sunglasses, so you don't look so desperate."
"It's all in the timing, Soo, which I'm sure you wouldn't know about. Remember when you asked Sunny out while she was in the middle of taking a piss?"
"I'm getting married to her, aren't I? So I must be doing something right." Sooyoung proudly responded with an elbow nudge.
Tiffany sighed. "That's only because your soon-to-be wife is into weirdoes. Now watch the master at work." Fixing the strap of her purse, Tiffany turned her attention back to Taeyeon, who was now alone by the bar from across the room ordering herself a glass of champagne.
As she made her way to the bar, she couldn't help but wonder how Taeyeon would react when she found out whom she actually was. Would she be ecstatic, in disbelief, shocked, angry?
Midway to her destination, Taeyeon had decided at that moment to turn around, locking eyes with Tiffany. Before she could put on her megawatt smile or throw in a little wave, Taeyeon had pulled out her phone, her fingers flying across her screen in a frantic sort of way.
Okayy. Not suspicious at all.
Suddenly, Tiffany's own phone was vibrating in her bag, so she reached for it.
(Taeyeon): SOS!
Tiffany looked back at Taeyeon whose calm demeanor had not betrayed her one bit as she took a sip of her drink while leaning coolly against the counter. What an actress.
(Tiffany): What's wrong?
(Taeyeon): I'm a loser with lack of social skills. There's someone at the wedding that I want to impress, but I know I'll make a fool out of myself if I try. Can you help me?
Help her? Tiffany would rather throw a fist at whomever Taeyeon was crushing on instead.
(Tiffany): I don't know, Taeyeon. I'm not that experienced myself.
(Taeyeon): Please? Pretty women make me stoopid.
Tiffany had snickered at that, as much as she wanted to pound whoever had turned Taeyeon into such a lovesick dork.
(Tiffany): She's that pretty, huh.
(Taeyeon): So freaking stunning.
Tiffany grinded her teeth together, the pit of her stomach growling with jealousy.
(Tiffany): What do you like about her?
(Taeyeon): For now? Her smile.
(Tiffany): That's it? Looks aren't everything, Taeyeon!
(Taeyeon): I know! I'm a shitty person _ But look at it this way, animals attract each other with a certain mating ritual, right? And since we technically are animals, isn't it okay that her beauty attracted me first?
(Tiffany): YOU'RE ALREADY PLANNING TO MATE HER?!
(Taeyeon): What?! NO! It was just an example! I'm just saying I like her smile, and now I want to find out more about her! Geez!
(Tiffany): Oh. Okay, good. No sleeping on the first date!
(Taeyeon): Yes, Mom. Wait, so does this mean you're going to help me?
Tiffany groaned out loud. Some master she was. She was already being wingman-zoned, which was definitely worse than friendzoned.
(Tiffany): Fine, I'll help. But first, can I get a name?
It was most definitely not to hunt down whoever it was and scare her away. And Tiffany was most definitely not lying her ass off right now.
(Taeyeon): Her name is Fany.
Tiffany nearly dropped her phone over Taeyeon's message.
(Tiffany): Fany who?
(Taeyeon): Didn't get her last name. All I know is that she's the maid of honor of my friend's wedding. I hope she's single.
A big, cheeky smile had once again adorned Tiffany's face. Now she definitely can't reveal her identity just yet.
(Tiffany): Fany, huh? Wow, even her name sounds pretty.
(Taeyeon): lol, yeah. You should see her in person.
(Tiffany): Now I'm really curious. You make it sound like she has some goddess beauty. Bet she's not as hot as me.
Was she fishing for compliments? Maybe.
Tiffany could see Taeyeon suddenly choking on her drink, eyes bugging out as if Tiffany had sent her some outrageous message. Wow, rude.
(Taeyeon): Your beauty is incomparable since it's in a whole other level. She's more of the celebrity/kpop-idol level of beauty?
(Tiffany): Aw, that's so sweet of you to say. Thanks, Boo. I really want to meet her and you very soon. Let's hope you're able to impress her long enough for us to be introduced.
Tiffany snickered all the way to the bar.
...
...
Eyes locked on her target—aka Taeyeon, Tiffany slipped her phone back into her purse, ignoring its constant burst of pings.
(Taeyeon) Unread: Okay, so what should I do to impress her?
(Taeyeon) Unread: Oh fuck me, she's heading over here! Help me!
(Taeyeon) Unread: HEY! WHERE YOU AT?
(Taeyeon) Unread: omg I can seriously kill you right now! You promised me you'd help?!
(Taeyeon) Unread: DAMMIT TIFFANY
Being just a couple feet apart, Tiffany decided to stop dead in her tracks, prolonging Taeyeon's internal panicking as she decided to greet a couple of her acquaintances with 'how are you's' and 'it's so nice to meet you again's' as she passed them by. As the ultimate troll, Tiffany was enjoying every second of it, knowing that Taeyeon's eyes were fixated on her the entire time. When she finally turned back to Taeyeon, her smirk fell the instant she caught Taeyeon's attention on another female.
Yoona. Tiffany inwardly growled, feeling a possessiveness so strong it shocked even her. She always knew her friend, Yoona was a flirty social butterfly whose type was someone who oozed sexiness and innocence, which unfortunately, Taeyeon definitely fitted to a T, and normally she never really concerned herself over Yoona's flings until now, since those familiar and effective seductive smiles and flirty eyes were currently being thrown at Taeyeon.
There was no way Tiffany was going to sit back and let Yoona, well, be Yoona.
"Kiss me if I'm wrong, but don't I know you from somewhere?" Yoona asked with a playful smile as Taeyeon's cheeks suddenly turned hot and pink.
"No, I don't think so, sorry."
"Hmm, then I guess I was wrong." And with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, Yoona added, "But the upside is I believe a kiss is in order-"
"Yoona, wow, is that really you?! Gosh, it's been too long!" Tiffany immediately got in between the two as she roughly yanked Yoona's arm a good reasonable distance away from Taeyeon.
"What? But we hung out yester—"
"So, how are the kids?" Tiffany quickly interrupted her confused friend as she placed her finger thoughtfully on her chin, waiting for an answer.
Yoona further arched her brows. "What kids? I don't have any—"
"Oh, stop with the jokes, Yoona! I just can't with you." Tiffany laughed, slapping Yoona's back a bit too roughly and making Yoona wince from it. "How does one forget adopting nine children?"
"Nine children?! Yah, Fany, are you high?!"
"Yuri, Yessica, Yaeyeon, Yunny, Yippany, Yeohyun, Yooyoung, Yoyeon, and baby Yuna with a 'U.' C'mon… as if I can make that up." Tiffany chuckled.
Yoona gasped, horrified at the mental image-nine tiny, stinky babies suffocating her with droolly babbles and neediness. "Dafuq! You literally just made that—"
"Anyways, tell Seunggi and the kids I said hi." Tiffany said.
"You must be on crack! I dumped his ass four years ago!"
"Sure, Yoona, whatever you say. Even though I can clearly see Seunggi calling for you right now, so why don't you go see what he needs. By the way, it was really nice chatting with you again, you jokester, you!" Faking a laugh, Tiffany brushed away the piercing eye daggers being thrown at her as she flicked her hands in a dismissive manner.
But thankfully, Yoona got the message as she huffed and stormed away but not before flashing the middle finger at Tiffany, which she completely ignored with an innocent smile towards Taeyeon, who was looking just as confused and unsure of the odd exchange between the two females.
(Yoona): A simple dibs on the girl would have been enough for me to back off. Or even shooting me in the fucking face a hundred times is okay. But making me a mother is where I draw the goddamn line, Fany! Unacceptable! Me with nine little spawns?! That just tells me you really like this chick if you're willing to risk our friendship like this! I expect you to pay for my daily alcohol intake for the next NINE days, betch.
(Tiffany): Fine. btw ily too :)
After quickly sending off that text message, Tiffany had returned her attention back to a fidgeting Taeyeon whose own eyes were locked on the cell in her hand, possibly—no, definitely—waiting for a message from a particular someone.
Unfortunately for the unsuspectingly Taeyeon, Tiffany liked to deliver her messages in person, so here she was, flashing the flustered woman a knowing smile.
"So…"
Taeyeon's head jerked up as her pupils dilated. She was clearly freaking out, and Tiffany suddenly wanted to reach for her and comfort her.
"Taeyeon," Tiffany had meant to keep her voice calm and polite, but instead, she had purred out the girl's name, simply because it was so purr-able. Oh, well. At least it led to a satisfying response from Taeyeon: a cute, subtle shiver. "are you ready for the ceremony? Quite frankly, I think I might bawl my eyes out before the music even starts playing."
Instead of agreeing wholeheartedly as Tiffany had expected her to since Taeyeon had already voiced out her thoughts about it through text, Taeyeon had put on this fake confidence as she leaned against the bar table and nonchalantly sipped her drink. "Yes, I am so ready for it. For me, it usually takes a lot to make me cry. But there's honestly no shame in it if you do cry. Today's a happy day. Our friends are getting married. Happy tears are a good thing." Clearing her throat and avoiding Tiffany's eyes, Taeyeon shyly added, "And if you need a shoulder to cry on…" She dusted her shoulder, silently offering hers. So smooth.
Tiffany had wanted to burst out laughing, because she knew Taeyeon and it made it all the more tempting to call out Taeyeon's bluff, which of course she wouldn't for obvious trolling reasons. Firstly, Tiffany was almost tempted to out the girl for her shy, refined manner when they both knew Taeyeon spoke a language with words that rhymed with duck, ditch, and motherducker in almost every other message exchanged between them. Secondly, Taeyeon's body language didn't match her expressive eyes. Just the mention of the ceremony had already left a thin trail of water in Taeyeon's eyes. And lastly, Taeyeon had mentioned plenty of times that she was the ultimate crybaby. She cried over every little thing: puppies, movies, the freaking sunset, you name it.
But still, it was adorable to see her try to act tough though.
"Well, then I'll gladly take you up on your offer." Without questioning her next move, Tiffany had boldly slipped her fingers into Taeyeon's and led the both of them to where the ceremony would take place.
Tingles. Those sensational zaps had traveled from their fingertips to their matching blushing cheeks.
...
...
"There, there. You go ahead and you let it all out. No one here is judging." Tiffany patted the blubbering woman beside her. "Well, besides them."
"Mama, please, can we take her home? I always wanted a baby sister. I promise I'll take care of her. Please, please, Mama, please." The five-year-old begged her mother, who was smiling awkwardly at Taeyeon, who was sobbing even harder on Tiffany's shoulder as their two best friends exchanged rings.
Taeyeon sniffed as she rubbed her puffy eyes. The tears just would not stop, but she had to defend herself to this supposed child that had the audacity to claim her as her baby sister. "I'm twenty-nine. I'm no one's baby sister," the best 'man' grumbled.
"I want her." The child stubbornly responded with her tiny hands balled into fists.
Caught in between an uncomfortable situation, the mother quickly pulled her daughter out of the room just as the brides exited the chapel.
Taeyeon glared with swollen eyes as Tiffany kept her grin intact. "Aw, don't look so upset. I really don't blame the kid. You look like you'd be an adorable baby sister. Though, I'd probably take you home for other reasons."
Thoughts about how perfect the wedding was or how warm and magical the atmosphere had felt were completely thrown out the window as Taeyeon's cheeks ballooned up as a fit of coughs erupted over Tiffany's suggestive words.
Was that too forward? Creepy? Tiffany smiled shamelessly anyways. She realized she enjoyed stirring a reaction from Taeyeon.
"I, um, I'm going to get some water. I'm really thirsty."
"Oh? You're thirsty?" Tiffany lifted a brow.
"I—I mean dehydrated from all that crying. I'll be right back." Without sparing a glance at Tiffany, Taeyeon and her reddened face hurriedly ran out of the room.
A minute had barely passed when Tiffany's phone started buzzing.
(Taeyeon): Oh shit, she's hitting on me! I think?
(Taeyeon): I thought I had lost all chances after that circus show I just performed with my ugly crying, but maybe I still have a shot.
(Taeyeon): By the way, don't think I forgot about how you left me hanging before this. Thanks for nothing. Worst wingman of the century goes to you
(Tiffany): Sorry, I was busy, but I'm free now. How can I help? :) oh, and how's the wedding going? You didn't cry, did you?
(Taeyeon): If my tears are the rain, then my face is a drought.
(Tiffany): …
(Taeyeon): Anyways, what should I say to her? I wanna sound cool but not seem like such a tryhard
(Taeyeon): But idk. What do you think? How can I impress her?
(Tiffany): Just be natural. Be yourself? She'll like you for you.
(Taeyeon): I'm lame. Next.
(Tiffany): omg what are you talking about? If you're lame then I'm a door
(Taeyeon): Say sorry to all the doors in the world. They are not lame. They have a purpose in life that makes them useful to people
(Tiffany): Uhh, ok, sorry doors. But seriously, you are not lame. You're an awesome person. Plus, you can't be lame since I only hang with cool people :D
(Taeyeon): wow, that was so lame lol
(Tiffany): rude :(
(Taeyeon): Forgive me, Sensei. Now, really, help me out here please
(Tiffany): Okay, fine. Why don't you just tell her a joke? Everyone loves jokes.
(Taeyeon): You're not serious
(Tiffany): Everyone. Loves. Jokes. Period.
(Taeyeon): You can't just type the word 'Period' and then follow it with an actual '.'
(Tiffany): Focus, woman
(Taeyeon): Ok, ok I'll do it. And I better get the D by the end of this
(Tiffany): O_O WHAT.
(Tiffany): The D?
(Taeyeon): D for date. Why?
(Tiffany): oh nothing…
(Tiffany): Just go and get that D ;)
(Taeyeon): On it ;)
Without a second to waste, Taeyeon ran from across the banquet area to where she had left Tiffany in a matter of seconds, which was considered a feat since she never actually exercised ever since she graduated high school.
"Hey," A heavily breathing Taeyeon croaked out as she tried to catch her breath.
"Hey, you're back," Tiffany casually slipped her phone back into her bag and offered Taeyeon a handkerchief. "You kind of look more dehydrated than before. Do you want to go to the bar to get some water? I know where they keep the chilled ones."
"No, no, I'm fine." Taeyeon wheezed while drenching the handkerchief in her sweat, "I just really need to ask you this."
"Okay, shoot."
"So, um, knock, knock?"
Either the woman was too eager or wasn't used to building up to these types of things. Tiffany almost laughed in Taeyeon's all-too-serious face. "Who's there?"
Taeyeon chewed on her inner cheek. "It's A-Amee."
Not too long after, Tiffany was in a fit of giggles as Taeyeon, the joke thief, started puckering her face in humiliation as she stared her phone down.
"Oh, I guess you already heard that joke."
"I might have."
"Oh shoot, I'm thirsty again." Taeyeon pressed the back of her hand over her forehead and sighed dramatically. "Excuse me."
Tiffany chuckled at the sight of Taeyeon rushing out of the room once again. "Dork."
(Taeyeon): I hate you.
(Taeyeon): Remind me never to take your advice ever again!
(Tiffany): Whoa, whoa. Did your joke not go well?
(Taeyeon): She clearly shares your sense of humor since she laughed at that lame joke you told me, but now I have nothing to impress her with. I'm all joked out
(Tiffany): Only a truly funny person can appreciate a good joke. It's boring people like you that I pray for.
(Taeyeon): What the. I can be funny.
(Taeyeon): Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
(Tiffany): Why?
(Taeyeon): Because it's a chicken! LOLOLOL XD
(Tiffany): I really dislike you right now, but I'm willing to forgive you for it, because I have something I need to tell you.
(Taeyeon): Okay, what is it?
(Tiffany): I like someone.
(Taeyeon): Wait, is that the joke?
(Tiffany): No, I'm serious. And when I see her again, I'm going to tell her.
(Taeyeon): You are?
(Taeyeon): Wait
Tiffany ignored the buzzing from her phone. If Taeyeon had something to say, well, she'll just have to wait for Tiffany to tell her in person, because she was done playing games.
Spotting Taeyeon by the bar, Tiffany's feet had moved before her brain could process it.
"Taeyeon?"
Taeyeon looked up from her shot glass. "Oh, Fany, hey."
"Can I join you?"
"Sure," Taeyeon sipped her drink slowly, feeling a numbness slowly creeping up.
"So, Taeyeon, I—"
"What's it feel like to like someone romantically?"
Taken off guard by the sudden question, Tiffany nearly fell off her stool. "Um, well—"
"Like does your heart start beating fast or is it when you crave their attention almost all the time?"
"Those are some of the symptoms that could mean you like someone, but—"
"Or is it when you start feeling anxious and beyond terrified when someone you thought you liked as a friend just admitted to liking someone else? It feels like your heart just dropped to your stomach and the uneasiness is just eating away at you."
Taeyeon peered up at Tiffany helplessly as the latter felt the exact feeling that Taeyeon had just described.
"Is there someone you like, Taeyeon?"
Blinking rapidly and pinching her eyebrows together, Taeyeon gulped the rest of her drink. "I really don't know for certain. I'm confused as hell, and I just want to meet her face-to-face to figure out how I truly feel before it's too late. And it's insane that I have never even met her in person before, but she's on my mind almost all the time. I'm being crazy, aren't I?"
Holy shit. Was Tiffany getting cockblocked by her own self?
"No," Tiffany gave Taeyeon an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder, "You are not crazy."
"You think I should call her? She's not answering any of my texts."
Tiffany's hand dropped from Taeyeon's shoulder as if it just burned her. "Actually, I don't think—"
"Okay, I'm gonna do it," Taeyeon had excitedly responded and without wasting another second, she started dialing Tiffany's number.
And just as Taeyeon pressed 'Call,' Tiffany's ringtone went off.
"Aren't you going to get that?"
"O-Oh, yeah, getting it right now." If there were a moment to panic, it'd be now. Beads of sweat started forming on Tiffany's forehead as she walked a couple of feet away to pick up the dreaded call. "H-Hello?" Tiffany whispered in a raspy voice that was a tone lower than her usual.
"T-Tiffany?" Taeyeon stuttered nervously but that twinge of excitement could still be detected in her tone. So this was what Tiffany's voice sounded like—so soft and husky—so fitting. "Hi, um, I guess you can tell who this is by caller ID, but anyways, it's me, Taeyeon. Did I surprise you with this call?"
Shook, yes.
"I'm sorry for suddenly calling you. I guess I just got impatient." Taeyeon laughed nervously as she twirled her wavy locks, "So, um, I'll just cut to the chase instead of blabbering on. I know we talked about meeting up a couple of nights back, and maybe you were just joking at that time, but I meant it and I still mean it. I want to meet with you in person. There's something I need to tell you, Tiffany. Is that okay?"
"Of course it's okay." Better than okay. And why wait? She might as well do it right now.
"Really?" Taeyeon hopped a bit in her step as she pulled the phone away to make an excited little squeal. "Okay then. When do you want to meet?"
Giving Taeyeon a side-eye glance, she couldn't help but beam adoringly when she saw that infectious smile. "How about now?"
"Now? Wait, but I'm at my friend's wedding, remember?"
"That won't be a problem. I'll come now."
Taeyeon's eyes widened. "Wait, but—" The line suddenly went dead before Taeyeon can say anything else. "She doesn't even know the address."
"Hey." Tiffany tapped Taeyeon's shoulder, and the girl finally looked away from her phone to look confusedly at Tiffany. "Sorry I took so long."
"Hmm?" Taeyeon hummed distractedly while her eyes remained fixated on her phone. "Oh, yeah, don't worry about it. I was also on a call."
Tiffany let out a shaky laugh. How slow was this girl? "So what did you want to tell me in person? I mean, I think I've already figured out what you wanted to say, but I think it'd be better to hear it as the Tiffany that you know."
Tiffany patiently waited as Taeyeon's eyes turned round and wide with realization.
"T-Tiffany?"
"Yes?" Tiffany tilted her head like a patiently waiting puppy.
"But, but, you're Fany. Wait. Fany. Tiffany. Tif-Fany." Taeyeon's mouth fell open. "You're the same person?!"
Letting out an awkward chuckle, Tiffany guiltily nodded her head.
"I'm sorry, but I don't believe you."
In disbelief, Taeyeon dialed Tiffany's number only to hear the latter's phone ringing. She had done this two more times before she finally accepted Tiffany as Fany.
"You," Taeyeon pointed her accusatory finger at the woman before her. "You freaking catfished me?! "
Suddenly, Taeyeon's hands were practically massaging Tiffany's face as her finger was on Tiffany's upper lip and pushing it upwards. "Where's your bunny teeth, and your freckles, and your choppy bangs? What the fuck! You look nothing like your picture!" She exclaimed in offense.
"Yeah, I know. That picture looked ten times better."
Taeyeon's lips twitched. Now was not the time to laugh at Tiffany's joke. She was genuinely pissed off at the woman. She had spent the whole day embarrassing herself by acting like a complete fool without realizing that the person she wanted to woo was also the person she was going to for advice.
"Hey," Tiffany pouted cutely, which was effectively chipping away at Taeyeon's anger. "Are you upset with me? I wouldn't blame you if you are."
Taeyeon huffed. "I'm not upset. I'm honestly more disappointed that you made yourself my wingman. It's kind of sad that you have no game, don't you think?" Taeyeon teased with a shrug.
Tiffany laughed with relief. "So you're not mad at me for not coming out in the beginning when I realized who you were?"
"Nah, I'm more relieved to know that I like the same person. But why didn't you just tell me who you really were?"
Tiffany shrugged indifferently. "I thought it was funny to mess with you."
Taeyeon was starting to dislike Tiffany's humor. "Wow. I hate you so much."
"Aw, does that mean you don't want that D anymore?" Tiffany smirked slyly.
Taeyeon felt a burning sensation creep up her cheeks. When said out loud, the phrase sounded dirty for some reason.
"Yes, I still want the D."
"Great. The cost for it is very affordable too."
"Cost?"
"Yup. Just five hundred dollars."
"Five hundred?! You're too much."
"Oh, but it's a steal if you think about it. Shipping and handling is already included. And if you don't act soon, someone else might accept the offer."
Shaking her head in laughter, Taeyeon slipped her hand into Tiffany's.
"I knew you were a scammer."