Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater!

(featuring the Kuga-Fujino family pets)

A/N: Thanks to my wife, Tarma Hartley, for making an offhanded remark about one of my other stories (Chapter 12 of "The Omake of the Godless Month," if you're curious) which in turn inspired this idea!

~X X X~

"Natsuki," Shizuru Fujino whispered. Ordinarily, she would have paused to admire how cute her sleeping girlfriend looked, nestled into a tangle of pillows with a thread of drool trailing from the corner of her mouth, but situational urgency overrode leering, even for Shizuru. "Natsuki!" she hissed, shaking the dark-haired girl's shoulder.

Natsuki's eyelids fluttered, revealing very unfocused green eyes.

"Whajawan, Shi'ru..." she mumbled incoherently.

"Natsuki, wake up! I heard a noise from inside the house!"

The genuine concern in Shizuru's voice cut through Natsuki's drowsiness and snapped her awake.

"What?"

"I heard a noise!"

Natsuki sat up and glanced toward the foot of the bed. Duran was sleeping soundly, and while Natsuki tended to sleep like the dead she figured her dog had to have better hearing than Shizuru.

"It's probably nothing," Natsuki decided, and started to lay back down.

"Natsuki!" Shizuru yelped, clutching at her girlfriend's arm. "Please!"

Natsuki sighed. She really didn't think anything was wrong, but Shizuru was obviously genuinely worried.

"All right. I'll go take a look. Geez, though; we're both girls, so why do you always get to be the wife?"

Shizuru couldn't help but smile when Natsuki gave the lie to her complaint about gender roles by throwing back the covers, revealing the satin-and-lace merrywidow and silk stockings she'd worn to bed that night. Natsuki caught the look, then glanced down at herself and blushed. Lingerie collector that she was, she still didn't relish the idea of searching the house for prowlers wearing something out of an adult video.

Then she heard the noise too. A clinking sound, as if of rattling glass. Embarrassment and frustration vanished at once; she was instantly all business. She slipped out of bed and shook Duran awake (a hundred and fifty pounds of metal dog with built-in firearms being a very good burglar deterrent), regretting now that she'd never troubled to obtain a normal handgun after losing her HiME Elements. All the knives were in the kitchen except for her little Swiss Army pocketknife keychain...then her eyes fell on the field-hockey stick leaning against the wall in the corner. For the first time she was glad Headmistress Fumi had instituted the "everyone needs one semester of extracurricular activity to graduate" rule at the beginning of Natsuki's third year.

Club in hand, dog by her side, Natsuki crept soundlessly out of the bedroom and down the narrow hall. The clinking sound came again, and this time she could tell that it was coming from the kitchen. Her nerves at a fever pitch they hadn't been since the HiME Festival, she moved silently through the living room, avoiding the furniture by memory and reflex.

She could see a pale light coming from the kitchen door, then heard the clinking sound yet again, and she advanced cautiously, peering through the door. The light came from the refrigerator; the door was open and someone was rummaging through the bottles and packages.

"Kiyohime!" Natsuki yelped. Five of the hydra's heads drooped guiltily while the second head hissed at its misbehaving fellow-appendages. "The vet put you on a diet for good reasons, so quit trying to sneak food!"