"And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end"
-Taylor Swift "Begin Again"
Severus and Narcissa had just finished their lunch with Draco and Harry. They had just said their goodbyes. As they walked into the room with the ornate fireplace, Severus and Narcissa were startled by the presence of one Hermione Granger looking like she had seen a ghost.
Narcissa approached her cautiously. "Hermione, dear, are you okay? What brings you to the manor?" She tried to reach for Hermione but was met with a swat.
Severus and Narcissa exchanged worried looks as their unexpected guest looked like she was about to have a panic attack. "Severus, we need to get her out of this room. Remember when the snatchers captured Harry, Ron and Hermione? My sister did something so abhorrent to that poor girl." She whispered to him with tears in her eyes. His eyes noticeably widened.
That is when Severus decided to get closer to Hermione. "Miss Granger? May I help you to another room?" There was no response as he continued to get closer to her. "Miss Granger? I mean, Hermione? May I help you?" He smiled softly.
When Hermione heard her first name, her eyes flitted to Severus and she nodded. He went over to her and she leaned most of her weight onto him as he wrapped his arm around her. Severus guided her out of the room that held such terrible memories for the witch. They entered a room lined with bookshelves. Severus placed Hermione gently onto the love seat. "As you can observe this room is the library. I thought it might calm you if you were near something that you hold close to your heart. Books." She gave him a small smile. "Also, I summoned a modified calming draught. It will not make you fall asleep. It just takes the edge off of your panic attack symptoms." He handed her the vial and she gulps it down without question. He saw her visibly relax and she sighed in relief.
Hermione blushed. "I am so incredibly embarrassed by my behaviour. I am so sorry and thank you Severus for helping me." She smiled shyly.
Severus smiled when he heard her say his first name. "We all have our moments after a great trauma. No need to feel embarrassed. It is only natural to react that way." He sat next to her and gathered her hand in his.
Hermione was startled by such a kind gesture from Severus and looked at him curiously. "Why are you being so nice to me? Not to be rude but you have never been one to be kind especially someone like me."
Severus flinched a bit. "A great many things have changed since I first met you, Hermione. If you will let me, I will explain myself as best I can."
Hermione nodded. "Indeed a lot has changed since first year. You can tell me if you do not mind sharing." She gave him a small smile of encouragement.
Severus took her encouraging smile as a good sign. "As you know back in my Hogwarts days and even before then, I fell in love with Lily Evans. Unfortunately, it was a one sided love. I am still haunted by her death and how our friendship crumbled overnight it seemed. She is the reason why I protected Harry. My love for her called to me like a beacon in the night and I just knew had to do right by her. All I could think of was that he was the piece of her. When I went to the Potter house the night they died, I was shattered for the boy who now had no parents all because of his destiny and slimy Wormtail. Nothing felt right in the world any longer knowing Lily was gone. Losing her friendship made me go off the deep end and I joined the Death Eaters but knowing she was not part of the world any longer made me realise that I had to do everything in my power to help Dumbledore even if I was begging or it seemed like he was forcing me to do something. At the time I was so conflicted that he had to push me to do a task for him. I was quite a mess."
Hermione had tears in her eyes. "Severus, I am sorry you lost Lily twice. Her friendship and her death. It must have been devastating. I can not imagine what you went through and still are going through. Honestly, I do not know what I would do if something were to happen to Harry. He is my best friend and I am just happy to know he is still alive after fighting Voldemort. Thank you for talking to me and sharing. I appreciate it." She smiled softly.
Severus decided to share more with her. "You were asking me why I was cruel to you or rather why I was being nice. Honestly, you remind of Lily so much. Your wits, intelligence, your muggleborn status, your personality, how you love research and books and various other aspects of you all make me think of her. Every time I saw you, it brought me back to the days of Hogwarts and how I was bullied by James and his friends. It was one of the lowest parts in my life. After Lily was sorted into Gryffindor, it was the beginning of the end of our friendship. You made me think of her and how she stopped trying to fight for our friendship, though it was partly my fault for doing some pretty awful things and the moment you stepped into my classroom with your know-it-all mentality I took all my frustrations out on you. It was wrong to do so. But it did help with being a double agent. It showed how I treated a muggleborn. Despite being a spy, my attitude towards you was unacceptable. I am sorry for what I put you through. At least I have a second chance to prove I am not the monster society has deemed me to be even if I was always on Dumbledore's side."
Hermione was speechless which was a rare occurrence for her. She watched Severus carefully. "I forgive you, Severus. After Harry saw your memories, everything made sense. Though I do not condone your behaviour towards me, I do understand it a bit more. As for being a monster in society, um, Harry actually declared you a hero in public and told the Wizengamot you were pivotal to the defeat of Voldemort. To say the least, everyone was shocked but Harry never waivered even when people questioned him about it. He always stuck up for you. To our world, you are a true hero because Harry told your story and eventually people started to believe him. Now no one questions it thankfully. What I am trying to say is that you do not have to hide from the world. You are not a prisoner, you are a hero to all of us." She squeezed his hand and smiled at him.
Severus blushed and looked so embarrassed. "I do not realise that Harry did that for me. Thank you for letting me know. Um, I forgot to ask, what brought you to the manor?"
Hermione got the hint, he did not want to talk about Lily, being called a hero or the war any longer. "Well, I have been researching about your resurrection and what the process was to produce the doe figurine. I found some material on the subject and thought I would share my findings with you. Unfortunately in the excitement of wanting to tell you, I did not realise where I would end up landing in the Manor. I am still embarrassed."
Severus smirked at the witch. "Of course you were researching. I am hardly surprised. What did you find?"
Hermione looked pleased. "Actually not much. It looks to me that Dumbledore modified a resurrection spell. The original spell can be performed at any time during a witch's or wizard's lifetime but Dumbledore modified it so when Harry retrieved your memories and when you died, it activated the spell and a doe figurine was formed. That was all I found unfortunately."
Severus was in deep thought. "Thank you for looking into the spell. I appreciate it. At least I know how he performed the spell. I still do not understand why he would want to bring me back though." He sighed.
Hermione searched for the perfect words to say. "Severus, I believe the reason for your resurrection was that you meant a great deal to Draco. I think Dumbledore knew that his father was not going to escape Azkaban and he would need someone to help his mother out. Plus I think our world needed you too. You played an important role and Dumbledore thought after what you did, you should be rewarded and reunited with your family. The remaining Malfoys. No one deserves a second chance more than you do, Sev. I truly believe that." She blushed because she called him by a nickname.
Severus' eyes visibly widened at the nickname because that is what Lily used to call him before Hogwarts and their early years at school. "I suppose you make a good point, Hermione. Though Draco has you and Harry now." He smiled sadly.
Hermione was determined to let Severus was needed. "Draco needs more than us and Narcissa. Especially after visiting his father at Azkaban. I can not imagine that will be a pleasant encounter. Thankfully Harry is going with him. Can you imagine how Lucius is going to react to Draco being gay? And in a relationship with his leader's enemy? It will be a devastating blow to Draco. He will need your reassurance. He has such great respect for you, Sev. He knows you will always support him in whatever decisions he makes. And after witnessing his father's reaction to what he will be revealing, I think he is going to need his godfather by his side. Dumbledore always had an inkling that Draco and Harry had deep feelings for one another because of how he reacted when we entered Minnie's office. He seemed very proud of them getting over the rivalry. And he also knew that Draco would have to tell his father the truth about his relationship with Harry before someone else divulged the information. Even if Draco does not have much love left for Lucius, he still thinks that he deserves the truth and not from another source. I agree with him but I really wish they did not have to go to Azkaban. That place is just absolutely soul sucking even without the dementors. I hope they will be careful. I always worry about Harry." She bit her lip nervously.
Severus looked at Hermione fondly. "When you say it that manner where Draco needs my support, I feel my insecurity of being resurrected seems unfounded. No matter what I will always do my very best with Draco. As for Harry planning a trip to Azkaban, I think he will be fine. He is a very capable wizard despite all my snipes at his magical abilities. Plus Draco will be by his side. There is absolutely nothing to worry about." He tried to give her a reassuring smile.
Hermione nodded. "I know they will be fine. I just worry because I am not there with them. Whenever Ron and Harry did anything without me they would some how mess everything up or nearly get caught. We joke about me being the brains in the friend group but I really am most of the time. I should be comforted in the fact that Harry is with Draco who is just as intelligent as I am. Gosh, I am making myself sound so superior to my friends." She chuckled to herself and blushed.
Severus chuckled along with her. "I think you have every reason to worry especially when Weasley is involved in Golden Trio shenanigans. But in this case, I think Harry is in good hands. I trust Draco to keep him safe even if it is from Harry himself. Speaking of Weasley, I thought you two were an item but the way you talk about him it does not convey that. I do not mean to pry if you do not wish to share certain information." He looked a bit embarrassed about asking personal questions.
Hermione looked surprised. "You make a good point, Sev. Draco is a much more gifted wizard than Ron will ever be. After the war, I felt I needed time to heal from what had happened. I also needed to find my parents and restore their memories of me. As for Ron, he needed to be there for his family after losing Fred. I did not want to get in the way of his family time. And honestly, I fell out of love with him. I just did not feel the same anymore and I started to notice some alarming behaviour. He started to get jealous of how close I was with Harry which started while we were on the run and searching for horcruxes. He abandoned us for a time. We forgave him but neither of us could ever forget what he did and said to us before he left. Eventually that jealousy started to warp into possessiveness. He would always have be right there with me especially if Viktor Krum was mentioned or was in my presence and he never gave me any space to be me. An example of jealousy, Viktor asked to dance at Fleur and Bill's wedding and I said yes. You could tell Ron was secretly seething the whole time. I felt more like property to him than his girlfriend. It all made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and I found a perfect out in the aftermath of the war. He never questioned my reasons and we still remain close friends. It all worked out just fine which is a relief." She sighed.
Severus patiently listened to her. "I am glad to know you have more confidence and trust in my godson's abilities than Weasley's. That is quite understandable that you needed time to heal. I assume you did find your parents and were successful in restoring their memories. Hermione, I believe you are too good for someone like Weasley and I am pleased to know you were able to gently free yourself from that relationship. No one really got their feelings hurt. And you two were able to stay friends. That is the best possible outcome." He gave her a sweet smile.
Hermione blushed and looked at him curiously. "Thankfully I was able to find my parents. And with the help of some doctors and nurses at St. Mungo's, their memories were fully restored. Gosh, they were furious at first but they realised and understood that I was just trying to keep them safe. And with Ron, I am so incredibly relieved that there was no ugly breakup fight. That would have been absolutely devastating for everyone involved and I am not sure if our friendship would have survived such a trauma, Sev." She gave him a sad smile and saw how he smirked when she called him Sev.
Severus gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I am delighted that everything worked with your parents and they were not too cross with you. You were quite fortunate to find a way to slip away from being a relationship with Weasley so easily. Most are not that lucky."
Hermione watched Severus thoughtfully. "Thank you for your kind words regarding my parents and Ron and helping me calm down earlier. I truly appreciate it. And I hope you do not mind me calling me Sev. I never asked if it was all right to do so."
Severus smirked a bit. "It was my pleasure to help and listen. Of course you can call me Sev. I would have said something earlier. It does not bother me. In fact, it was Lily's nickname for me. I never thought I would hear someone else call me that ever again. And honestly, I am quite fond of it so please do use Sev." He gave her very sweet smile.
Hermione moved closer to Severus and leaned forward to wrap her arms around him. It startled him at first because he was not accustom to such kindness from someone he was not very familiar with. After a moment, he returned the gesture and wrapped his arms around Hermione's smaller frame. A few moments later, they pulled back from the hug. Hermione was blushing ferociously and she could not look Severus in the eye.
Hermione nervously stammered. "Gosh, um-m, I am really sorry. I did not mean to be so forward with my thanks. Once again, I feel embarrassed by my behaviour. Though, I am delighted to know you do not mind me calling you Sev." She gave him a shy smile.
Severus smirked at her reaction to how she hugged him. "Hermione, there is no need to apologise for hugging me. It was quite unexpected but certainly not unwelcome. It is not every day that you are graced with a hug by the brightest witch of her age." He teased.
Hermione was practically tomato red. "Thank you for being so good-natured about my behaviour. And it is not every day you are hugged back by the half-blood prince." She teased back which earned her a blush from Severus.
Severus was in awe of the young witch and was at a loss of how to respond. "Well, umm, Hermione that is quite spot on. I do not ordinarily participate in such displays of affection but like I had said it was not unwelcome." He smirked at her.
Hermione gazed at Severus for a moment. "Sev, it is reassuring to know that you were not entirely repulsed by a muggleborn's hug. But as much as I would like to continue our little banter, I really need to get back to my parents. We should have tea at some point in the future. I would very much like to get know you more." She gave him a sickeningly sweet smirk.
Severus was shocked by how candid Hermione was being around him. "You and Lily may be the only exceptions in regards to muggleborns. You both shine like stars in the night's sky." He looked quite embarrassed by what he just said but still he continued. "Ahh very well, we will have continue our banter as you call it another time. It would be quite a delight to have you over for tea some time and it would be lovely to get know you more as well. Well, let me walk you to the gate."
Severus stood up first and offered his hand to Hermione. Without hesitation, she took hold of his hand and he pulled her towards him. For a moment, time stood still as they stared into each other's eyes. As soon as they realised what they were doing, both looked away from one another embarrassed.
Severus was the first to move away and he motioned for Hermione to follow him. She trailed behind him. Once she caught up, he gently guided her through the manor avoiding that one particular room that held such menacing memories for her. When they got to the front entrance, Severus held the door for Hermione and after she stepped out of the manor he was right behind her. They continued to walk in silence as they slowly approached the Manor's gate.
Once on the other side of the gate, Severus and Hermione stopped and looked at one another again.
Both were silent as the grave until Hermione piped in. "Again, thank you for keeping me company and being there for me. I appreciate it, Sev."
Severus looked at her. "I am happy that I was able to assist you. You are very pleasant company to have. I hope you grace me with your presence again in the near future." He blushed a bit.
Hermione gave him a lovely smile. "You are not half bad company yourself. Let me know when you are not otherwise engaged and we will certainly have tea together. I will be seeing you soon, Sev."
She walked up to him and once she was right in front of him, she got on her tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Before apparating away, Hermione smirked and waved goodbye to a very speechless Severus.
Severus just stood there stunned and place his fingers where she had kissed him. Once he was out of the trance, he walked back to the Manor. He was greeted by Narcissa who gave him a knowing smile.
Narcissa watched him carefully. "Well, Severus, it appears to me that another Slytherin and Gryffindor pair have reconciled their differences. How lovely." She was smiling like the Cheshire Cat.
Severus' eyes widened. "Narcissa, I have not a clue as to what you are prattling on about. Please do not meddle in my affairs." He gave her a stern look.
Narcissa nodded. "Severus, if you have a chance at true happiness, do not disregard the possibility of it happening no matter who it may be. Life is too short as you know all too well." She walked away leaving him with his thoughts.
Severus was at a loss as to what to do about Hermione. He thought of what they discussed and how they teased each other. She truly reminded him of Lily which caused his heart to clench. Lily Evans was his always throughout most of his life and he never saw himself recovering from losing her but he also could not disregard the new bond he seemed to be forming with Hermione. The mere thought of seeing her again sent his heart aflutter. Maybe Narcissa was spot on regarding his happiness and he should take a chance on love again. But just the thought of moving on from Lily terrified him a bit. Though he had to admit, perhaps it was for the best to start anew.