Special Thanks to beta reader/s: TroxX101, Jiraphie
I have a . If you want to support me, even a dollar a month would be awesome. Feel no obligation though, thanks for reading. I hope that would allow me to dedicate more time to writing. The link is the website /bearlywriting.
Yukinoshita and Yuigahama caught up to me as the elevator door opened. Out of it stepped quite the banal group. They were dressed in fairly expensive suits that they wore comfortably, so they were probably in a profession that requires expensive formal wear. They're younger than others in the lounge, but not young enough to arouse suspicion at their age. I could discern more information and pass it off as an impressive deduction, but all the information I collected came primarily, from the man leading those six yuppies forward.
He wore a custom suit, tailored to the micrometer. His golden Patek glinted in the light and I could smell the Dolce and Gabbana light blue cologne waft from the elevator with him. I should know, I was the one who gave him some for Christmas.
His eyes fell on me, the skin around them was more depressed and darker than I remembered; but, then again, that comes with the territory for most lawyers.
His eyes fell to me, first they widened in surprise, then narrowed in cunning, and finally, settled back into a mask of pleasant surprise.
"Well, well, well. It's great to see you again after you dropped off the face of the planet, Hachiman." The group behind him paused, surprised to see him speak politely to some random kid.
"Suzuki." I regarded him dispassionately. Hopefully, he would get the hint and stop speaking to me. I don't want him to reveal anything to the two girls standing beside me. He pouted at me in a way that would have barely been cute on Komachi. On a drunk thirty-year-old though, it was just gross.
"Why so cold, Hachiman? We were buddies and you even got me my new job. Why the cold shoulder now?" He glanced at the two girls behind me, both of whom were staring at him, then smiled teasingly at me. "Oh, is it because you're on a date? Two girls, how scandalous. I always told you that you could get girls if you just applied yourself, and look at you now; a beauty on each arm. You're really taking after me."
"As charming as ever I see. Though I must apologize, I was just departing. It was nice to see you. I'll be seeing you soon at the end of the week." The bystanders we'd each brought along stayed silent as we talked. All of them were trying to glean intel about our past from this conversation.
"I know." He clapped his hands together. "I'm so excited to get a round of squash in with you. I really hope that you do come and work with us after you graduate." His gaze shifted, and he smiled at the two girls behind me and bowed to them. "I must apologize for not introducing myself sooner, my name is Hinata Suzuki, and Hachiman and I are old coworkers."
Unsurprisingly Yuigahama was the first to cut through the awkwardness. "Coworkers? Lille, what job did Hikki do for you?" She frowned slightly at me, in a surprisingly cute way.
He laughed, a real laugh. Gut-busting, real, and way too loud, it cut right through the ambiance of the lounge and drew the baleful eye of many a grey-haired head. I tried to hush him but that only made him laugh louder, the guffaws seemed to echo like gunshots. Kawasaki was looking right over from behind the bar, with curiosity plain to see on her visage. He eventually got his roaring laughs suppressed to giggles, rubbed a hand through his short black hair, and suggested that we sit down at a booth.
I tried to disengage again and again but was repeatedly stopped. Though this time it was by the two behind me and not the man in front of me.
"Yeah, that sure sounds nice but I really have to…" I was interrupted.
"Hikki, we're totally going to stay."
"Hikigaya, there is no way that we are leaving here without a sufficient explanation for all that has just occurred." Hinata sent all of his entourage away with a promise to pay for their drinks. He promised to pay for all their rounds for the night and after that, any protest to stay was quickly crushed by the others. If nothing else, he still somewhat understood the value of discretion. Though that may be more related to the fact that my story didn't necessarily paint him in a good light.
We sat down and he informed the, beckoned, waiter that he was covering the group at the bar's tab, along with a refill for us, and an old-fashioned for him. Before he could take out his wallet, I pulled out the card and handed it to the waiter. There was absolutely no way in hell that I was going to owe him anything. The game of debts was one that I partook in only to have others accrue to me, never the other way around; if I could help it, at least.
I kept an eye on him, an eye on the girls next to me, and a (metaphorical) eye on the view as the waiter delivered our drinks.
"You see, a long time ago, Hachiman served as the law firm that I worked at's top legal consultant. He would read through a million different books and come up with crazy ways to defend or prosecute anything that you can imagine. A few years back, I was fired for losing a big case, and I only found this out later, but Hachiman, who I'd been nice to a few times, made some calls and got me a job at the biggest law firm in Japan." He gushed, shooting me a grateful look. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Don't treat me like a good guy, goddamnit.
"Wow, I never knew that Hikki did all that stuff." Yuigahama said. Yukinoshita sat, with a slight look of surprise. her expression froze over once more. She leaned back slightly and watched, like a cat observing before deciding to pounce.
"Wait did you just call him Hikki?" Yuigahama nodded. "That's hilarious." Suzuki laughed.
"I didn't do anything particularly kind for you Suzuki." I cut in, voice cold. Time to dispel any notion that I'm a good person. I'm not, I never can be. "You were a productive worker and now a non-equity partner at Ito & Sato Law Offices owes me. It was simply a pragmatic move." I smirked, doing my best evil mastermind impression.
To my great disappointment, he laughed, again, and harder than before. "You always said that, but you were really just a bleeding heart." He turned more towards Yuigahama and Yukinoshita. "He would take on tons of pro bono cases. He would take on all the hardest ones too. He's helped hundreds of victims of police liberty violations get justice, which in Japan, speaks for itself."
"Times have changed, the cases are nowhere as hard as people believe them to be anymore." I tried to downplay the work I did. I did help hundreds but doomed hundreds of thousands more.
"Wow, Hikigaya, I can't say that I ever took you for the type," Yukinoshita praised, even her compliments still managed to sound as condescending as her insults
"That's so amazing Hikki." Yuigahama looked at me, eyes sparkling.
"Stop it," I whispered.
"What was that, Hikki? I didn't hear ya'." Yuigahama leaned forward. They were all looking at me. Why are they all looking at me? Stop looking at me. Why are they looking at me like that?
"Please, pardon my abrupt exit." I reverted to my professional comportment then stood up and marched away from the booth. I didn't hear any of the cries at my back. I didn't care about the elevator as I began running down the fire stairs. Who gives a damn about an alarm going off. I ran down the forty-eight flights of stairs. Two staircases and a platform per level. I raced downwards. I landed funny and my ankle twisted. Who cares?
I don't care. I need to go. I ran until sweat was staining my suit. My feet were blistering in my tight dress shoes. They'd been made by a tailor in Italy with a name that I could hardly pronounce. What did it matter, a shoe was a shoe at the end of the day. Who cared?
I burst into the lobby and ran out the door. Sweat and tears mixed on my eyeballs and clouded my vision. I ran out into the street, almost getting hit by a car. Who cares?
No one would care if they knew the real me? I kept running, I kept going when my legs burned, when my lungs ached, when my feet bled. At least all that training was finally put to some use. I didn't stop running when my form broke down, I was stumbling forward more than running, and my breaths came in coughs that racked my lean frame.
I only stopped when I was in front of my own door. To enter a house of people who don't care. I doubt even Komachi, the best little sister in the whole world, could love me if she knew what I'd done. But I don't care. She never has to know.
I collapsed in my bed, after creeping through the dark house. I'd shut down my phone, which had been buzzing incessantly and hadn't even bothered to take off my shoes. What was underneath was a reality I wasn't ready to face right now. It was going to hurt like hell in the morning but that was the future me's problem.
Four hours later …
Past me was a prick, was the first thought that crossed my mind when I woke up. Shivering, sore, caked in sweaty residue, feet in extreme pain, with a watch digging into my bent wrist. I dragged myself out of bed. I unclipped the watch and put it back in its holder, I'd clean it tonight when I had time. I needed to take a bath but first I had to deal with the epicenters of agony that were my feet. I bit down on a towel while peeling them off, but almost gagged because I was breathing through my nose. The gross smell of pus and coagulated blood seeped out, and I cursed myself one thousand times over for not treating it last night.
After that gross situation was dealt with, I showered, trying not to wince as scalding hot water seeped through the bandages protecting my toes. I hobbled downstairs to prepare Komachi's food for the day, along with a note that read. 'Feeling Sick, Missing School'. I dragged myself back to bed and slept. Sleeping in was a luxury that I hadn't afforded myself, in almost a decade. So as I did it, I was overcome by a sense of wrongness that I couldn't ignore. Instead, I sat at my desk and began reading various legal documents. An international tax law treatise here, a local anti-poaching law there, there was no legality too big or too small for me to cover. Every paper in a major publication was one that I read.
That's how my first day went. I studied and slept. At about two in the afternoon I stumbled downstairs, dehydrated and hungry. I drank about half a carton of milk, guzzling it down greedily. Milk had never tasted so good to me before. After I finished drinking like a man possessed, I began to work on dinner for my sister. I made Mulligatawny soup. I had had it for the first time at an ornate Indian restaurant and immediately began to look into how it was prepared.
It was an easy one-pot meal, and I left it on the stove before returning to bed and fading into a restless sleep. When I woke up next it was in the middle of the night, a moth was banging repeatedly against my window. Trying to reach the lamp that I had left on. I slowly disentangled myself from my scrunched sheets. I shuffled downstairs to make Komachi's meals for the day and wrote another note to explain my absence.
The clock read about 5:30 am and so I got to work chopping, stewing, and seasoning. I left a neat bento on the counter along with a saran-wrapped plate of breakfast. Another note, and then I retreated into my den (aka my bedroom) once more.
The day passed much the same. I could hear the various members of my family move around the house, the light youthful steps of my little sister, the soft steps of my mother, and the long strides of my father. They each began their morning routine. Hopping into the shower, brewing coffee, and/or reading the paper. I stayed in my room, sipping on the glass of water that I'd remembered to bring back with me.
I reached into my dresser and pulled out the watch I had forgotten to clean yesterday. I brushed it delicately while pointedly not thinking about the night at the lounge. After that, I read through a few more legal research papers and delved into some state laws for Arkansas. My day was going fairly well though I did loathe having to miss the work observation. I was looking forward to the massages and catering but didn't want to deal with Suzuki trying to ask me why I'd run away. I couldn't stand the way he looked at me. Like I was someone worth respecting or admiring. Honestly, I could hardly look at myself in the mirror anymore.
My day went peacefully, I moved through various locales and their laws, just to familiarize myself with them in case they ever came in handy. That was how my day went until a knock on the door interrupted my studying. In retrospect, I should've checked the peephole first, but instead, I opened the door wide assuming that it was some package or other that Komachi must've ordered. There before me, stood Yuigahama, still clad in her uniform, probably just having returned from the workplace observation.
She had a folder under one arm and looked a tad nervous. I would be too if I was a girl and had to show up at a random classmate's house.
"How did you get my address?" I asked, blocking the doorway with my body, arms wide.
She whined at me, "Mouu, that's so rude Hikki. I come all this way to give you handouts from school and check on you. And this is how you treat me. You need to work on your people skills." She gazed at me reproachfully, before pointing a finger at my chest and invading my personal space.
"How did you get my address?" I repeated calmly as I leaned back, away from her. I already had a strong theory but wanted to confirm it first.
"Hiratsuka-sensei gave it to me. She said I needed to deliver your work to you and see if you were all right. We don't live that far apart. Also, we should totally hang out sometime." She looked behind me, observing the interior of my home.
She pushed past my arms. I couldn't have moved her even if I wanted to, it was a stark reminder that the only nutrition I'd consumed in the last two days had been about half a gallon of milk.
"Woah, your house is so nice, Hikki. Do you want to chat for a bit? Since I'm here." Damn nice girl that she was, she said these things with no hesitation. You'll give me the wrong idea if you keep on going like this. She sat down at our living room table, legs seiza. I guess that when in a skirt, it's the best option.
To my great relief, she didn't ask why I'd run out of the lounge. She rambled on about what had happened in my absence.
"So then, Yukinon and I were talking with Hinata." She gushed.
"Hinata?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah that's what I call him, he was really nice. I can see why you were friends, you're both super kind." She smiled and continued onward. "Oh, and Kawasaki has been looking for you. Apparently, she never received the formal contract."
Damnit, I knew that I had been forgetting something.
That was a lie, I don't forget things. I just avoid remembering them. Others do it by accident, I choose cowardice.
"...and even Yukinon is wondering where you are, she said something like 'the school almost seems too clean without Hikigaya around.'" I half-listened to her, still mentally stuck on being called kind. I jammed the uneasiness at the word back down and instead, tuned back in.
"...then, Yukinon was all like 'The drink must be precisely sixteen and a half degrees Celsius or else the flavor palette will be thrown off.' to the waiter and then we took a cab back to her place. And I slept over, Yukinon is surprisingly shy, we shared a bed-" Yuigahama's chatting suddenly became a lot more interesting. Lurid images from the depths of the internet swirled in my mind as I gave her my complete attention. "-and she was all like 'stay on your side.' at me but she blushed super red when I curled up with her. Yukinon is weak to snuggles." That was expectedly wholesome and expectedly not lewd. And I'm caught between disappointment and fondness.
Yuigahama kept on talking, about her clique "Yumiko was all like 'Hayato we should go together just the two of us.' and he was all like 'it would be more fun with all of our friends.'"; her dog, "You should come and meet Sable. I bet he'll remember you, he's such a smart dog, he is constantly finding ways to escape or steal food. But he's such a good, smart boy."; and her family "Mama said that I needed to do my homework before dessert. But I said that 'Cookies are like the best fresh.' so she let me eat them while I was doing homework.".
She kept on talking and I didn't stop her, humming or nodding as she spoke to show that I was still listening. Eventually, after I had been informed about the antics and dynamics of her clique, class happenings, and anything else that happened in my two-day absence, her phone buzzed and she checked it. Her eyes glanced down, before widening as she gasped.
"Oh my gosh Hikki, it's so late, I guess time flies when you're having fun. I gotta get home, Mama's making Katsudon." She stood up, then bowed. Despite everything that had happened, all that I had learned about nice girls, I couldn't stop myself from calling out.
"Do you want me to walk you home?" She stopped, back facing me. This is what happens when I let myself get too comfortable.
"Oh, uhhh, that would be great Hikki! Thanks so much, let's get going." She began with a waver in her voice before cheering. Oi, if you don't want me along just say so. But, then again, it would now look odd if I rescinded my offer, and Yukinoshita would use this information as a basis to denounce me as unreliable. I guess that we'll both be suffering through a few minutes of awkwardness. I walked forward, slipping on shoes and a light jacket from the closet near our door. Yuigahama moved away from me, towards the door, as I pulled on the cardigan. I grabbed the keys as well and opened the door; letting her out first.
For the first few minutes of the journey, we walked in silence. It wasn't excruciatingly uncomfortable the way the silence had been when I'd resigned from Shuuchin; the kind of silence that crushes you, leaving little room for breath or melancholy. But there was an undeniable degree of tension in the air that breathed down our necks on the cool spring evening.
"So, have any plans after Saturday lessons tomorrow?" I started. I was never one to start conversations but Yuigahama had kept glancing at me obviously wanting to speak. Also, conversation with her wasn't a chore, unlike many others that I'd had to speak to.
"Oooh, after Saturday lessons tomorrow, Yukinon is taking me shopping and you should like, totally come along. She was all like 'in the interest of efficiency I would like you to come along on this shopping endeavor.'" She smiled. "You'll come, right, Hikki?" She stared at me with brown eyes, wide and beseeching. Hmmm an eighty-five out of one-hundred in terms of technique but still formidable. It'd been a long time since anyone besides Komachi had tried the pouting face technique on me.
I didn't let the pout distract me from the more pressing information delivered. The way she phrased that sentence implies that Yukinoshita invited her, why would she do that? Yukinoshita is an antisocial girl with little desire to be more social. This may be a romantic attempt after Yuigahama's snuggles awoke a sapphic desire in her, or this may be a way to serve a more covert plan that I don't know about. Either way, I want to know why Yukinoshita would propose said activity. Her plot probably wouldn't affect me, but the thought of mystery and discreet maneuvering had wet my mental appetite. I now felt a craving to know why.
Despite my better reasoning, I found myself agreeing with Yuigahama. "You know what, sure. It should be fun." Getting to hang out with beautiful women is always a good time, and if Yukinoshita is trying to put the moves on Yuigahama, maybe the fact that the target of her seductions brought a friend along; should clue her in on Yuigahama's feelings.
"Yay, this is going to be so awesome Hikki! The entire service club is going on an adventure together. We should go to a cafe and get some sweets. Do you like sweets? If you don't you can order something not sweet. Irregardless, it's going to be so fun." She bounced and set various body parts of hers bouncing too. In an effort to not take advantage of my (maybe-) friend's obliviousness, I turned my head away; intently studying the concrete below. I didn't even bother telling her that irregardless wasn't a real word
I want to look but know I shouldn't. But if I did look she would never find out. So there'd really be no harm done if I looked just a little. I could maybe sneak a pee-...
"-ikki. Hikki…" I heard her voice calling and saw Yuigahama had stopped in front of an apartment building. "So, this is my stop." She fidgeted with the purse in her hands.
I nodded, respectfully, "Have a good night, Yuigahama. I'll see you tomorrow." I turned to begin walking home. Raising a hand in a gesture of goodbye. When a call from behind froze me in place.
"Wait, Hikki. Would you like to stay over for dinner? I mean if you already have plans then that's okay but would you?" I turned around, processing that verbal deluge, my mask of composure utterly shattered. Nothing that I had ever encountered while working or at Shuuchin had ever shattered my composure as thoroughly as one errant request from a girl.
But looking at her, wringing her hands, looking away, evoked images of a young me reaching out and being rejected. She didn't deserve that so I smiled and nodded.
"Sure, If you'll have me then I would love to," I said.
It was going to be an inconvenience that I already knew. Komachi would be annoyed.
But Yuigahama's blooming smile made it worth it.
I followed behind her as we walked up a flight of stairs and knocked on a second-floor apartment door.
(A/N): Thanks for all the feedback and I am also looking for more beta readers to help review my work. Please PM me if you're interested. I've started working with two beta readers so far and am excited to deliver better writing to you all. Hikki is about to encounter a wild Yuiga-mama. We'll see what occurs.
EiNyx: I'm not going to lie, your comment made me laugh. My version of Hikigaya can be quite blunt, he learnt at Shuuchin that sometimes just overwhelming people with resources is the easiest way to win conflicts.