Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater

(featuring the Kuga-Fujino family pets)

~X X X~

The wind howled between the masts, whipping the tattered shreds of canvas like streamers and making the torrential downpour fly almost horizontally. The Revenge shuddered as a massive wave struck its side, sluicing water over the deck and nearly making the ship capsize, until at last it heeled back upright.

"It do be the' curse, Cap'n!" screamed the pirate. "We should never have sacked th' convent!"

"Damn yer eyes, Fitzhugh!" bellowed the titanic figure at the helm. His bicorn hat had been knocked from his head by the tempest, which just made him look more like the creature of Hell popular legend painted him, his blood-red hair like a wild animal's mane to match his beard. "That reliquary do carry the key ter the lost treasure o' El Dorado, and I'll not be givin' it up fer man or God!"

"We've got to, Cap'n! This storm do be the wrath o' God!"

"Throw th' box inter the sea, now, else we be dragged down ter Davy Jones' Locker!" shouted another crewman.

"Never!" Bloodbeard howled. "Ahrrr, I've done hunted that treasure fer a dozen years afore now, an' I'll not be givin' it up!"

"It do be nothing but a watery grave as awaits us, Cap'n!"

"Iffin ye mutinous curs don't stow yer gab this moment, I'll be carvin' yer cowardly guts from yer bellies!" He ripped his cutlass from its sheath and shook it at the men. "No word o' God or curse o' th' Devil'll be keepin' me from—"

He never finished the sentence. The screams of the crew drowned Bloodbeard out as six great serpentine heads, each a hundred feet high, burst from the sea around the Revenge. Snakelike jaws fastened on masts, spars, the rail, anywhere they could find purchase, and as the cutthroats screamed for mercy, the ship was inexorably dragged beneath the waves. And as the tattered black flag that had fluttered at the mainmast descended below the surface, the wind stilled, the clouds parted, and the moon looked down on a sea that was as still and calm as glass.

"Okay, Kiyohime, it's time to wash you now," Shizuru said. As she squirted liquid soap onto a cloth and worked up a lather, Kiyohime's heads popped back up from under the water and she set her rubber pirate ship bath toy on the side of the tub.

"Pirates and sea monsters?" Natsuki asked from where she was leaning against the doorjamb.

"Ara, given how many pet owners have such trouble at bath time, isn't it better to make the experience fun for her?" Shizuru began to scrub Kiyohime's first head. It arched against the washcloth, evidently enjoying the attention.

"Hey, it's not Duran's fault he doesn't like the wire brush on his rusty spots," Natsuki defended her dog. "And the wax itches."

"Perhaps you should change brands. Kiyohime didn't like the lavender-scented body wash, after all. It made her sneeze."

"Maybe I should. So why all the stuff about the heinous crimes they committed in the story?"

"Natsuki, you don't think Kiyohime would drag a shipload of people down to a watery grave if they didn't richly deserve it, do you?" Six purple heads looked at the biker, offended.

"So she likes to play a heroic sea monster, huh?" Natsuki thought that one over.

"Of course!"

"Ah, well, I can't complain." She grinned at her girlfriend. "After all, I got to hear the elegant and graceful Shizuru Fujino talk like a pirate."

"Ara, ara, I did not expect Natsuki to be enchanted by such things."

"It's cute. It's so not like you."

"Ahrrr, then mayhap, seein's as how yer do find it appealin', as soon as I be done here I'll have ter go about plunderin' meself a little booty."

Natsuki laughed.

"Okay, now that sounded like you."