CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN – MISSING YOU (SayoHiro)

As his Barbarian character struck down Dungeon Delver's final boss with his two-handed battle axe, Akihiro let out a sigh. Normally, the conclusion of his video game exploits would give him a sense of fulfillment and pride, even if it lasted for only a few days. He would look at the game's thumbnail on his desktop and feel that he had once again notched an achievement onto his belt of video game achievements and victories. He would then go on to seek out a new video game to conquer, or try his hand at a new character and see where the journey will lead to.

This time, it was very different. Akihiro didn't feel even a slight semblance of the relief when he decided to distract his mind by finishing Dungeon Delvers tonight. There was no homework left to do, and he had hoped that poring over his school books and jotting down notes will help him relax, but that did nothing either. Instead, his mind continued to dwell on Sayori.

When he had visited her along with Monika and her friend Kenta Yamaguchi from 3-C, Akihiro had expected things to start becoming better. Sayori had enjoyed the evening then by a great deal as she talked and laughed with them, making it feel as if she had never been absent. Unfortunately, it didn't last, since they all had to call it a day and go home, and things went back to their quiet, diminished state afterwards. Like nothing ever happened, Sayori soon receded into the shadows once again, with Akihiro only having a glimpse of how she was doing through their very short encounters and conversations on text.

Akihiro exited Dungeon Delvers and stared for a long while at his desktop. While he could always ask for Monika's help to know how Sayori was doing, since she had a better chance of doing so as Sayori's classmate, he didn't want to impose anything that would upset Sayori or bother Monika. Still, while he knew that it might be odd to put his faith into the help of Monika or Kenta, who seemed also new to relationships overall, they were so supportive and willing to help that Akihiro thought it was foolish to not trust their help at a time like this.

He picked up his phone and scrolled through his contact list, fighting the urge to call Sayori. He had felt rather dejected when she almost lashed out at him for attempting to come over to her place that one time, but now, he was willing to shoulder any anger or pain that would come his way just to make sure that she was fine. Just like before, Akihiro wondered if he was indeed overthinking things, if he was being too worried or imposing too much on Sayori, but one look back at the way she had wept in his shoulder that night months ago told him that he had every right to be worried. Kenta's and Monika's words at the Cocoa Connection had also helped tremendously in that regard; it made him happy to know just how much Monika supported their relationship, and how he had found a new comrade in the form of Kenta as well. Somehow, having one of the most popular girls in school and one of her close friends helping him out offered him comfort.

He sighed. After looking one more time at Sayori's number, he scrolled past it and picked out Monika's number instead, sending a quick "hello" her way.

Monika replied after about a minute. "hello! how are things going? :)"

"doing ok, sayori's still quiet tho"

":( have you texted her?"

"not rly. should i? how was she earlier at school?"

"well, she seemed to be doing fine, don't worry. we weren't given a lot of homework for tonight, maybe she's not too busy. try texting her!"

"i dunno about that…"

Of course, such a reply was going against what Akihiro really wanted, and he wondered what was making him hesitate now after his thoughts of going against anything to make sure Sayori was alright. Perhaps he was just waiting for someone else's approval on whether or not it was a good idea.

As he should have expected, Monika was all for it. "i'm sure a single text couldn't hurt :) or if you want, i'll text her right now for you!"

In Akihiro's hearing, it sounded like a good idea. After all, he had seen before how comfortable Sayori was around Monika. Maybe she would be more inclined to reply if she texted her first.

"can u pls? :( tnx so much"

"no worries :) hold on"

The next ten minutes seemed like an eternity to Akihiro. Again, his mind berated him a little for overblowing what seemed to be a trivial issue, but he stood his ground and reminded himself that this was all for Sayori. His thoughts wandered, and for a moment, he mused on whether this hubbub all began when the two of them started dating. Perhaps they just weren't ready for a relationship like this just yet. Perhaps he had rushed things by showing Sayori how he felt. If so, Akihiro felt disappointed with himself.

Monika's reply seemed tenuous. "she told me she's doing fine. she did ask me whether or not you told me to ask her, though…"

"wat did u tell her?" Even as he sent the text to Monika, Akihiro knew what the answer would be.

"i told her yes. but don't worry, she's not upset or anything. in fact, she asked me how you were doing too :) she's worried about you as well"

Akihiro smiled. Even now when the two of them weren't talking to each other as frequently as they did before, Sayori hadn't forgotten to look out for him. "wat exactly was she worried about me for?"

"i didn't ask, but i told her that i'm texting you, and that you're doing well. why don't you go ahead and text her now? she won't mind, I swear :D"

Admittedly, Akihiro still felt hesitant to do so, but Monika's assurance emboldened him a bit. In the end, he mused that it was better than waiting for another time to text Sayori. "i'll try it out rn, tnx so much monika!"

"it's nothing :)"

Sayori was torn between her warring feelings. Going for a few more days without interacting too much with Akihiro seemed natural considering the stand she had taken starting that one night, but it also felt like she was doing something that was wrong and unnecessary ever since. As if avoiding going out with him wasn't already bad, even the simpler things they did together like walking to and from school together were starting to become affected. Somehow, no matter what she seemed to do, she was only messing things up; she didn't feel that much better, and she knew that Akihiro felt even more troubled about her now, which was the exact opposite of what she wanted for him. It all made her very upset, and she wondered whether or not she should go back to talking to him normally again.

Monika's texts had been a comfort, but even then, Sayori knew that Akihiro had put her up to it. Monika, who could be frank without hesitation if the situation calls for it, had told her as much, and said that Akihiro was indeed worried about her again. Sayori now felt annoyed, though more at herself instead of Akihiro. Naturally, every time that she received a text message from him, she felt happy and excited—after all, she couldn't really stop feeling so whenever the two of them bonded with one another, even in the past, for how could someone stop their heart from beating for someone the same way hers did for him? Perhaps she should've known better than to expect anything less from him, the boy who had protected her fiercely from bullies in the past, who kept her company and did his best to make her smile even when tears were involved, who stuck with her through thick and thin even amidst all the jokes and teasing that they pelted at one another. It was what made her fall for him in the first place, and what made her miss him even more terribly now.

Her days without Akihiro had given her time to contemplate on the idea that everything about her current state might be her fault, beginning at their get-together at the Starlight, when she asked him about other girls and dating. Sayori had wanted to test the waters then, when she could no longer bear the emotions that her heart made her feel every time she was with him, and how empty she felt whenever she would go back to her apartment unit and spend the rest of the day without his physical company. What was she trying to prove now with her current predicament, then? She didn't want Akihiro to leave, and yet here she was, driving him away just when their relationship had taken a romantic turn, which was what she had always wanted. Was it hesitancy? Was it guilt? Was it the idea that she might not be ready after all for a deeper relationship with Akihiro?

Being happy all the time seemed an easy task at first; by flashing a sweet smile, laughing and joining in the fun, Sayori had managed to slip by her other friends and classmates without them noticing that something was up—or perhaps that was just because no one among them bothered to think that something was indeed up. So far, only Monika and Akihiro had picked up on the truth and asked her about it, and she couldn't fault them for that—Akihiro had known her for so long that he could guess her train of thought easily, while Monika was always good at reading other people's minds and intentions, obviously a talent she had developed in the debate club.

Her cellphone beeped up. Sayori took a look at it and saw a very brief text message from Akihiro. "hello Sayori"

She smiled wistfully, sensing that Akihiro kept the message short so as not to pressure her into replying. Still, the text brightened up her mood a little. "hello akihiro! :) how r u?"

Somehow, it felt weird to send him such a text message; it was as if she was addressing someone else and not her boyfriend or even her childhood friend. Typing quickly, she followed up the text with another one. "i'm doing ok, don't worry. i told monika that too!"

"i'm glad 2 hear that. i miss u, u know?"

Sayori felt relieved that there was no one around to see her face redden. "i miss u too :( i'm sorry if i haven't been talking 2 u l8ly…"

"are u eating well? sleeping well?"

She paused for a moment, sighing sadly. Starving herself of Akihiro's presence for his sake was slowly taking its toll on her; though the nightmares seemed to have stopped, her mood had spiraled downwards to the point where even eating and sleeping felt like chores. Naturally, such experiences would warrant more worry and concern from Akihiro, and she knew that he would go out of his way to help her.

The voices would always have something to say about that.

"yes, don't worry :)"

As she stared at her text message, what little relief and joy she felt from talking to Akihiro seemed to just ebb away. Sayori knew that she could lie if she needed to, and she had already done so a number of times with other people. However, lying to Akihiro—the person that had nothing to hide from her, the person who cared so much that he would willingly set aside anything he was doing to help her if she told him to—was always a very different matter. When he stayed with her for a little while longer on his surprise visit after Monika and Kenta had left, she had done her best to make him see that she was okay, even if she felt otherwise. Lying through text or chat might be easier considering how emoticons and shortcut replies work, but even so, lying still felt . . . painful.

Akihiro's reply came in not long afterwards. "ok. just take care of urself always, ok? i hope we can get 2gether again soon"

Sayori didn't know what hurt worse: the lie itself, or the idea that Akihiro seemed to believe her out of trust. "i hope so :( u take care too, ok?"

Lying down on her bed, she closed her eyes and sighed. The voices were merely whispers right now, telling her that she had done well, and how everything was still fine.

Or was it? Deep within the emptiness that was becoming stronger with each passing day in her heart, there was a certain fear that gripped her. Like an oncoming tidal wave, like a storm of foreboding, it told her that something horrible would definitely happen soon. Instinctively, she reached down at the foot of her bed and picked up Mr. Cow. She hugged the stuffed animal tightly, imagining with all her might that it was Akihiro in her arms.

Akihiro looked around the cafeteria for a place to sit down. His friends were scattered at the moment as they met over their upcoming group presentations for History later, so he was alone. His group was already done in that regard, and it pleased him slightly that they had bounced back from the fiasco that their group leader had unintentionally caused in passing their research notes late. As he walked through the aisles in the cafeteria, passing by students who were on their way to get their lunches and those who were already seated and eating, he felt out of place all of a sudden. Then again, nothing seemed to be going right nowadays with Sayori's dilemma happening.

A loud, familiar voice carried over the throng and called out to him. "Hey, Akihiro! Over here!"

Akihiro looked around to see Kenta standing and signaling to him with a wave of his arm, grinning. The table he was at was occupied only by two other boys, one with eyeglasses and short black hair, another with wavy blonde hair; Akihiro surmised that these were his best friends that he had mentioned before.

"Hello, Kenta!" said Akihiro as he approached their table.

"How's it going?" asked Kenta, clapping him lightly on the shoulder. Even so, his strength made Akihiro buckle slightly. "Oh, sorry about that," he added.

"I'm alright," replied Akihiro, grinning. "Why did you call me over?"

"Well, I saw you wandering around and I guessed that you didn't have a table to go to," said Kenta.

"You've got that right," said Akihiro. "My buddies are busy someplace else, so I'm eating alone."

"You can sit right here with us!" Kenta proffered. The way he spoke made it seem like he and Akihiro had been friends for a long time. It was an overwhelming gesture given Kenta's forcefulness, but it was welcoming nonetheless.

"Thanks," said Akihiro gratefully. He turned to the other two boys, who smiled at him as he sat down.

"Hello," he said in greeting. It felt like freshman class all over again. "Um, I'm Akihiro Hasegawa, from 3-B."

"Nice to meet you, Akihiro," said the one with eyeglasses. He held out his hand cordially. "My name's Naoki Nakajima from 3-C, same as Kenta over there."

As Akihiro shook hands with Naoki, the blonde-haired boy spoke up in an equally friendly manner. "Daisuke Matsuda, 3-D," he stated, raising his hand in greeting.

"These are my best buddies," said Kenta as he sat down next to Akihiro. "They can be dolts sometimes, but they're cool."

Naoki shook his head. "Such a nice way to introduce us, Kenta," he said sarcastically.

"I think it's pretty accurate," said Daisuke as he chewed some food. "Two cool dolts led by the biggest and coolest dolt of them all, Kenta Yamaguchi!"

Kenta frowned. "I dunno whether to feel flattered or insulted."

Daisuke and Naoki laughed, with Kenta soon joining in. Akihiro couldn't help but smile at their banter. As they settled down to eat, the three of them began talking about their later classes, often bemoaning what was to come—a quiz, a seatwork, some half-baked assignments they would be turning in. To make sure that he didn't feel like the odd man out, Kenta struck up conversations with Akihiro, with Daisuke and Naoki listening or replying to whatever he said. Though he knew that he was indeed the one who stuck out as a stranger amidst the group, Akihiro felt as if he had known all three of them for a long time now, even if he knew them only by look—or sound, where Kenta was concerned—from the times that he passed by them in the school corridors.

As their conversations wore on, he found out the others' various traits and characteristics; Kenta, of course, was the raucous jock stereotype with a dash of open friendliness that made people either love him or hate him; Naoki was his exact opposite, being reserved, well-mannered and more refined in a sense; Daisuke was the one stuck in the middle, being laid-back and easygoing like Akihiro was. Even so, bonding with them felt so natural, and as he watched them interact with one another, Akihiro found it all remarkable. The fact that individuals with very different personalities could coexist in a single group with harmony and humor was a testament to the power of friendship and brotherhood.

"How's Sayori?" asked Kenta after a while.

Such a question brought Akihiro crashing back down to earth. He sighed. "Still the same. We talked last night, and she seemed to be doing okay."

He looked around to check if Sayori was anywhere in the cafeteria, but she was nowhere to be seen. He wondered where she was, and whether she had eaten lunch already. Of course, Sayori was never the type to skip lunch or any other meal on any day, but Akihiro wanted to make sure that she was eating properly during times like these.

"I hope she's doing fine," said Kenta. "I talked to Monika last night, and she mentioned you and Sayori again. I was wondering . . . did you two have a fight or something?"

"Not really," said Akihiro. "I mean, we almost did when I showed her that I was worried about her, but we made up after that. Ever since that night, though, she's been acting like this."

"Do you think she got mad at you?" asked Kenta.

"Maybe, but she apologized afterwards," replied Akihiro, recalling the way that Sayori snapped at him and how she felt remorseful immediately after that. He knew that it wasn't her intention to lash out at him; as a kindhearted and sweet girl, Sayori rarely did so with anyone. "Maybe she's just avoiding me because she's afraid that it might happen again."

"Hmm . . . maybe," Kenta mused. Just then, he glanced sideways at Daisuke and Naoki, who seemed to be listening to their conversation rather curiously.

"Hey, are you two dolts done eavesdropping?" he said in a crabby tone. "Maybe you can give some advice to a fellow bro instead of just staring at us like that? This is an important discussion!"

"Sorry about that," said Naoki with a laugh. "We couldn't help but hear you talking about a girl named Sayori. Is her surname Matsuzaki?"

"Yeah, that's right," said Akihiro, surprised. "How did you know?"

"She was our classmate back in freshman year," replied Daisuke. And then, realization suddenly dawned on his handsome face. "So you're the one she kept talking about back then!"

"Wait, 'back then?'" Akihiro repeated, slightly confused.

"She'd always mention someone named Akihiro to her friends in class," said Naoki. "We figured that it might be her boyfriend or something like that, given the way she talked about the guy and all, but we had no idea that you were the Akihiro in question."

Akihiro couldn't help but smile. Even back then, it seemed that Sayori had proudly stated to anyone who would listen that he was her best friend. "Did she actually always do that?" he asked, turning slightly pink.

"Yeah, but don't worry, it wasn't annoying or anything," said Daisuke reassuringly. "In fact, it was pretty sweet, the way she spoke about you, and she was already a really nice girl and all."

"Yeah, that's Sayori for you," said Akihiro wistfully.

Kenta straightened up. "That reminds me, have you two considered accepting Monika's invitation for that get-together?" he asked Daisuke and Naoki.

Daisuke shrugged. "I'm fine with anything. How about you, Naoki?"

"Yuri and I will be going," said Naoki with a smile. "I managed to convince her earlier this week."

"That's good. Daisuke, aren't you gonna take Natsuki along?" Kenta asked Daisuke.

"I haven't asked her yet," said Daisuke, "but don't worry. I'm sure I can persuade her."

"Great! Monika really wants to make this get-together happen, and she wants you guys to be there with the girls. That just leaves you and Sayori, Akihiro!"

Akihiro, who had resumed eating as the trio talked, looked up. "What?"

Kenta grinned. "Monika thinks that the get-together will be good for Sayori. It's part of why she planned it in the first place, plus she thinks it'd be a good chance to meet new friends, form our own little group, that kind of stuff. It'll be awesome if we all get to be there!"

As Kenta, Daisuke and Naoki looked at him, Akihiro mulled things over. Monika had not told him about such a get-together yet, musing that perhaps it was a surprise for both Sayori and him in a way. Sure enough, it was a good prospect—Sayori was definitely the type of girl who would like to go out and make new friends, and he was definitely okay with meeting new people and getting to know Kenta and his best friends even more. He felt rather touched at the idea that Monika would plan such a thing for Sayori's sake, and possibly even to help him out as well.

"We're going," said Akihiro readily. "I know Sayori. She'll definitely want to come, and I'll do my best to convince her."

"Awesome!" said Kenta with glee. "Monika also told me that she'll try to get her to come along. With you two asking her, I'm sure she'll be convinced. Monika doesn't have a fixed date for the get-together yet, but I'm sure it's gonna be soon."

"Then I better start convincing Natsuki quick," Daisuke mused.

Naoki smiled. "We hope to see you and Sayori there, Akihiro."

"And you guys as well," said Akihiro warmly. "Thanks."

Sayori barely heard the dismissal bell ring. Then again, certain things seemed to pass her by nowadays without her noticing. Her classmates stood up and stowed away their things, getting ready to go home. She moved at a slower pace, knowing that there was nothing in store for her later apart from another dismal night at her apartment unit. She watched her friends go, bidding them goodbye and envying them in a way for being better off than she was right now.

"Sayori?"

Blinking, Sayori turned around and saw Monika. Routinely, she put on a smiling face—it was what she always did whenever someone talked to her these days to show that she was fine. Of course, such a smile wouldn't always work with someone like Monika.

"Are you okay?" asked Monika kindly.

Sayori looked at her. Her smile faded as she stared into her emerald-green eyes—they reminded her of Akihiro's. "Not really, Moni."

Monika sighed, sitting down on the vacant seat next to her as the rest of the class called it a day. "Sayori, I think we need to talk about all this," she said. Her tone was still gentle, but the slight firmness in it made Sayori nervous. "I know that something's wrong even before I talked to Akihiro."

"Is it that obvious?" she asked Monika.

"To me, yes," said Monika. "You're always so cheerful inside and outside of school, so when your spark goes out, I notice it easily. I know that you tend to space out sometimes, but I think that you're spacing out nowadays because you're sad." She placed her hand on Sayori's forearm. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

Sayori bit her lip, casting her gaze down. "Are you gonna t-tell Akihiro if I tell you?"

Monika smiled. "I won't if you don't want me to," she said. "Of course, I'd like to help Akihiro look out for you, but if you don't want me to tell him anything just yet, I'll respect that."

Sayori let out a long, dejected sigh. "Monika, do you . . . d-do you think there's something wrong with what I'm doing?"

Monika looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Sayori stared at her despondently. "Y-You see, I'm avoiding Akihiro sometimes because I don't w-want him to worry about me too much. I told you that before, right? I said that it's because I want him to be focused on more important things instead of looking out for me all the time."

"Yes, I remember you telling me that."

"Do you think that . . . I'm just a burden to Akihiro?"

Monika looked startled. Sayori's heart broke a little as she was reminded of how Akihiro had reacted in pretty much the same way.

"Sayori, how can you say that?"

With another sigh, Sayori decided to tell Monika everything—her feelings for Akihiro, her first questions about dating at the Starlight and the days that followed, the two of them getting together, and the thoughts that had been plaguing her ever since. In particular, Sayori told Monika about the nightmares she had been experiencing, and the voices that seemed to pop up in her head whenever she tried to do something about it all. Monika listened closely, her beautiful face taking on a very serious expression. In a way, Sayori was grateful that she didn't interrupt her with a question or a remark as she waited for her to finish explaining.

"After that, I always imagined that . . . t-that if I'm going to be like that all the time, what's gonna happen to Akihiro?" she went on. "I don't want him to always worry about me, and I don't want him to be bothered every single time I miss him or feel sad or anything. That's why I'm t-trying to get by on my own. I want to become stronger so that he wouldn't have to worry about me anymore, because he's got more important things to w-worry about. There are times when I really miss him, but I don't want to tell him about it because I know he's just gonna rush over to my place to visit me—I mean, w-what if he does that while he's in the m-middle of something important, right? I'm not trying to stop him from worrying. I'm just . . . doing something to make s-sure that he has less things to worry about. It's better if he focuses on other stuff instead of someone like . . . me."

The look of seriousness on Monika's face never left her. "Sayori, you're Akihiro's girlfriend. Even before that, you're his childhood friend—and one of my good friends as well. Don't think that you're anything less than that, okay? You're a really nice and sweet person who cares for others a lot. I'm sure that's part of the reason why Akihiro started having feelings for you, and I'm certain that he wouldn't want you to think that you're horrible or troublesome. I understand that what you're doing is part of your desire to make sure that he's always happy, but if you hide everything from him, I'm afraid the only thing you'll be achieving is the exact opposite of what you want."

Sayori smiled dejectedly. "It all sounds weird, right? Like, I want Akihiro to be happy, and yet what I'm doing is making things worse. I'm a horrible person."

"No, Sayori, you're not," said Monika firmly, "and don't ever think that you are."

Sayori bowed her head and said nothing. The sadness she was feeling at the moment was more than she could bear. Monika went on, "Sayori, why do you think that you're not important? Pardon me for asking, but . . . is there, like, a reason for all this? Did something cause this?"

When she didn't answer, Monika placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Sayori?"

At last, Sayori looked up. She stared directly into Monika's eyes, those twin mirrors of green that reminded her so much of Akihiro's own eyes. "I think . . . I've always been like this. Even back when things were fine, there are times when I'd just feel sad or empty, sometimes for no reason at all. I'd become unable to do stuff that I normally do, and I'll remember some bad things that happened in the past—being scolded by my parents, or failing to pass a quiz, or being bullied by the bigger kids. It just happens, and it bothers me for a long while and I won't be able to do anything about it. They're like rainclouds that won't go away.

"But I'd always feel better when Akihiro was around. He'd always do his best to make me smile and keep me company, and that's how I started falling for him. But the sadness didn't go away for good—it just came b-back when he would go. This went on for a long time, and with it, my feelings for Akihiro grew. I wanted him to always be with me, because at least with him around, I could keep the sadness in check, but as time passed by, I realized how . . . how selfish it might be, and it made me feel really g-guilty.

"When the two of us finally got together, I thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be fine from that point on, that the rainclouds would go and the voices that I hear in my head would vanish. Akihiro told me that it was all going to be okay, that he'll make sure that I'm always happy. But after that, things got worse. That's when I started having those nightmares about losing Akihiro, and I was so scared b-because they all felt so real. If I lost him, I don't . . . I d-don't know what I'd do. I started thinking about the possible reasons why he would leave me like he did in my dreams, and somehow, my brain told me that it was all because I'm a burden, that I was selfish like I always w-was. That's what the voices keep telling me all the time. . .

"That's when I realized that if only I could always be strong and happy, I wouldn't have to rely so much on Akihiro, and he or you or anyone else wouldn't have to be bothered by my problems. That way, everyone can b-be happy."

Even if I'm not.

Neither Sayori nor Monika spoke for a while. Outside, students passed by on their way home, unaware of the sadness that was prevailing inside the classroom. Quick tears formed at the corner of Sayori's eyes, trickling down her cheeks and onto her sleeves.

Monika stood up from her seat, knelt down next to her, and embraced her comfortingly. Sayori didn't move, imagining just how similar the hug was to what Akihiro had done back then. The thought made more tears fall from her eyes, and she couldn't stifle a few sobs.

"There, there," said Monika kindly, stroking her back as she hugged her. "I understand where you're coming from, Sayori, don't worry. There's nothing wrong with what you said, so don't think about it like that. However, I'm going to tell you a few things, okay?"

"O-Okay. . ." said Sayori, her voice trembling.

With that, Monika broke away from her, held both of her shoulders in a slightly firm grip, and looked straight into her eyes. "I'm not going to pretend to have all the answers to what you're going through right now, but I will tell you this, Sayori. It might go against what you're thinking, but still . . . if you ever have thoughts like these, you can come to me or Kenta or anyone else, and we can talk about them. We'll be there to listen. We won't force any solutions on you because only you can decide what to do about everything, but we will listen and keep you company. You can just talk to us online or through the phone. It doesn't have to be in person. No matter what, we'll listen, okay?"

When Sayori nodded to show that she had understood, Monika continued. "Also, I don't want you imagining that these problems make you selfish or horrible in any way. People experience these kinds of things—they're just as real as anything else. Don't beat yourself up over them, okay? They don't make you any less of a person. You're still Sayori to us, to me. You're not worthless or bothersome just because of these problems. There's more to you than that."

Sayori sighed, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I'll t-try to remember that, Moni. T-Thanks. . ."

Monika smiled. "I hope you do, Sayori."

Sayori paused for a moment. "Y-You're not going to say that I should t-tell Akihiro?" she asked nervously.

"If you ask me, of course I'd want you to tell him," Monika admitted, "but that's another thing for another time, when you're ready to do so. It won't do if I force you to do it immediately. Just . . . when you're ready, Sayori, I hope you can find the courage to tell Akihiro. Again, it might go against the idea that you've been fostering, about not wanting him or anyone else to worry about you, but . . . being strong and independent doesn't mean that you always have to take on everything by yourself. It also means growing and learning alongside others, and accepting the weaknesses we might have."

Sayori stared at her. The voices were mysteriously quiet, probably because it wasn't Akihiro who was speaking to her, or because Monika's kind aura was dispelling them. "N-No wonder you're the president in your club, Moni. You sound like a true leader when you s-speak like that."

Monika let out a nervous giggle. "Do I? Well, thank you, I guess. But Kenta should take the credit for that piece of advice. Those are things that he told me back then, when I was having problems of my own too. I think they're worth repeating for you and anyone else who needs a boost."

Sayori let out a nervous laugh. "Kenta scared me a bit the first time that Akihiro and I met him in person, but I didn't expect him to be really nice and open like you. You two are perfect for each other."

"Oh, really? How about you and Akihiro? Remember what I told you two at the mall? I meant that, you know?" said Monika jestingly. When Sayori blushed and failed to stammer out a reply, she giggled some more.

"That reminds me," said Monika as she stood up, "I haven't told you about this yet, but I'm planning a little get-together sometime soon, just like the surprise visit we did on you last time. It's what I was going to talk to you about, but the discussion we just had kind of, er . . . sidetracked things."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" said Sayori worriedly.

"No, no, it's okay," Monika told her reassuringly. "I'll be honest, I want you and Akihiro to come along with us. I told Kenta to invite his best friends and their friends as well, so that there'll be a lot more of us there."

"I see," said Sayori, standing up from her seat as she slung her bag on her shoulder. "Is . . . Is Akihiro gonna come?"

"Well, yes. Kenta texted me and told me that he had talked to him about it at lunchtime earlier, and that Akihiro said yes. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course!" Sayori exclaimed in spite of herself.

Monika grinned. "There's no final date set for it yet, but if I had to give a tentative one, I'd say next month," she went on. As she spoke, she shifted a bit anxiously where she stood. "Ah, I really want you and Akihiro to be there, but . . ."

"Don't worry," Sayori told her. "I'm sure that going with him is going to make him happy. I'll do my best to feel better so that the two of us can come."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. You helped me feel better with all the things you said, Moni. If I can just keep remembering it whenever it's starting to feel like the rainclouds are coming, I know I can start doing better too. If I forget, just p-please remind me, okay?"

"I will, Sayori. Just talk to me whenever you feel down, and I'll be there. But don't forget that Akihiro is also there for you too."

"It might take me some time, but once I feel much better, I'll talk to him again and show him that I'm doing fine." Sayori managed a weak smile. "Thank you so much, Moni."

"Don't mention it, Sayori," said Monika genially.

Saying those words out loud, Sayori knew that there was still a long battle for her to fight, but with friends like Monika and with Akihiro as her inspiration, she mused that perhaps things can start looking up from here. Right now, the voices seemed to have fallen silent, and the rainclouds were just small shapes drifting in the horizon. Sayori hoped with all her heart that they would stay that way for a long time.