Nalu Week 2020
Regret
Professor: Thank you everyone who has favorited, followed, or reviewed! It made me so happy to see all of your support! I hope you enjoy this second chapter for Nalu Week and please go check out ShanaHollows and MorriganFae as they have awesome stories posted for Nalu Week.
Small author's note: The center in this story is entirely fictional. It is not based on any actual therapy or trauma center and comes entirely from my own imagination. I know that most centers are not run the same way that they are in this story, but please remember that this is a fictional story. If you are suffering from any kind of abuse or traumatic experience, please see the appropriate licensed professional and get the proper help you need.
Lucy had always made it a point to know what reporters said about her without ever actually reading their articles. Someone always just told her the gist of it.
It was not any different the next day. Reporters everywhere had pictures and accounts, each with their own story of what had happened at the charity luncheon.
Of what had happened between her and that idiot.
Her and Natsu.
If she closed her eyes and imagined it, she could still picture him right in front of her, breathing evenly and staring straight at her, completely unafraid. He'd been close enough that she could catch a scent of his cologne. It was something spicy, with a hint of smoke and she'd never smelled anything like it before.
And his voice. It had dropped so low when he'd asked her to come meet the patients. Her heart fluttered just remembering it.
Rumors were already going around in the tabloids. According to one of the most popular, Natsu was Lucy's ex, having broken up due to an affair. Apparently they'd both cheated on the other. Natsu with her cousin and her with his best friend.
That was the main reason she agreed to come today. He'd asked her to prove that she cared. If she hadn't, then the papers would've had a field day.
'Lucy Heartfilia, cold as her father!'
'Lucy Has-No-Heartfilia.'
'Will Heartfilia Industries ever live up to its name?'
She was sure that the actual headlines would only be worse.
Taking a deep breath, Lucy finally knocked on the door. She didn't even have a chance to lower her hand before it flew open, as if he had been waiting on the other side, just for her knock.
"Hey," he said.
"Good afternoon." she said politely.
"You actually came." he sounded surprised.
"I always keep my word Mr. Dragneel."
"Natsu."
"Excuse me?" she raised an eyebrow at him.
"It's Natsu," he said, almost nervously, "My name is Natsu. You can just call me Natsu."
Lucy took a deep breath, "Very well then, Natsu. Are you ready to show me around?"
"Yeah!" he said, his face lighting up in excitement, "You'll love it!"
Quickly he shut the door behind him and Lucy took the chance to take in his appearance. He obviously liked to stay casual, with cargo shorts and a comfortable T-Shirt, but he had on the same scarf that he had worn yesterday. It was so unlike the crisp business suits that she saw day in and day out.
"You always seem so sure of yourself." she heard herself saying.
Natsu just shrugged, unsure how to respond. Ironic, given her statement.
"Where are we going first?" Lucy decided to ask.
"I thought a general tour so you know your way around and then finish up in the play area."
"Play area?"
"It's for the kids." Natsu explained, shoving his hands in his pockets as he began walking, "Most kids who are here have a hard time playing in public and making friends. Public parks aren't exactly handicap friendly, especially for some of our more intense patients. This gives them all a safe area to do all that. We also use it for actual physical therapy some days too, just to cheer the kids up. There are a lot of volunteers who spend time with them there."
Lucy's eyebrows furrowed, "But you only just opened yesterday."
Natsu scoffed, giving her a sidelong glance, "The entire place has been open and operating for about a month now."
"A month?!" Lucy was shocked.
"Yep. We just didn't have the chance for an official 'opening' ceremony until yesterday. That's how busy we've been." Natsu said, leading her around a corner. The hallway they were in was lined with windows, peering into rooms filled with patients and their doctors. Lucy stopped at one, watching as a blue haired man with a tattoo on his face helped someone with a contraption around his fingers. The patient seemed to be trying to spread his hand out flat, but met resistance from the metal wrapped around his fingers.
"That's Jellal." Natsu pointed to the doctor, "He's one of the best when it comes to helping with fine-motor skills."
A lump formed in Lucy's throat at the sight, made even worse when the patient looked up, saw her, and then smiled. Quickly she turned away, walking down the hall, Natsu close behind, "Why all the windows? Shouldn't all of this be done in private?"
"It used to be," he answered, waving to another pair as they walked by a window, "But when we opened this place, we specifically requested that everything be a little more open. The rooms are soundproof so we don't have to worry about confidential information leaking out, but the patients like seeing each other, knowing that they aren't going through this alone."
"How...How many patients do you have?" Lucy wasn't exactly sure she wanted the answer.
"Too many." Natsu sighed, "Magnolia's a big city and things happen every day. We're always getting new patients."
"That's…" Lucy couldn't find the right word for it. Sad just didn't seem to be enough.
"I know." Natsu nodded.
They continued on, Natsu showing her around the entire facility. Lucy saw everything, Natsu held nothing back. She was mistaken in the fact that she thought they only did physical therapy here. There were so many different kinds of therapists here, it was amazing. Lucy had no clue about the place that she had helped open.
They were just leaving the office of a speech therapist, a guy named Warren, when Natsu became very excited again, dragging her back to the first floor. It was like he was a little kid all over again. With that thought, Lucy was certain that he was taking her to the play area.
But she was wrong again. The room that Natsu pulled her into looked like a gym, complete with weight lifting and a yoga studio and punching bags. The scent of sweat was thick in the air. The place was as stereotypical as it could get. This was what she had helped pay for?!
Natsu must've seen her expression, but he started laughing.
"Relax," he said, still smirking at her, "We use this for the patients. I actually bring most of mine down here."
"Why?" she asked in disbelief. She'd seen the rest of the facility, everything they had available. She didn't see what they could accomplish in here that they couldn't do with all the other resources they already had.
"This helps more than you think," he was saying, turning to look over the whole room. There were only two other people there, a redhead and a bare chested man sparring in the corner.
"How exactly does it do that?" she asked skeptically, keeping an eye on the pair. The last thing she needed was a lawsuit because a patient got hurt sparring with their therapist, a concern that she never though she would have until today.
Natsu was quiet for a long moment, just watching her. Lucy huffed and met his gaze head on, refusing to back down.
"How much do you know about the patients we take on?" he finally asked her.
"W-What?" she stammered, his question catching her off guard.
"How much do you know about the patients we take on?" he repeated.
"Um...they're injured and they need help." she whispered.
Natsu sighed, "Technically true, but also wrong."
"How so?"
"Our patients aren't just hurt." he said, folding his arms and looking at her intently, "They're traumatized. We aren't just a therapy center, we are a trauma center, as I like to call it. Trauma is more than just physical wounds. Yes, we get people who've been through car accidents and cops hurt in the line of duty, people caught up in the wrong place at the wrong time and those who are born with handicaps. But we do more than just help them heal their bodies."
"What are you-"
Natsu cut her off immediately, "The people we help here have been traumatized by the events in their lives. It's just as much mental as it is physical. Kids who come from an abusive home, soldiers with PTSD after coming back from the war, people with extreme sensitivities to things because of what they've been through. My friend Juvia helps people with hydrophobia after they've almost drowned. My other friend Erza helps people who've lost their sight. This other doctor here, Bixlow, helps nonverbal kids learn to communicate any way they can. We don't turn anyone away, not if we can help it. We help them all."
Natsu finished, still watching her intently.
"You do all of this...here?" Lucy whispered, stunned by his words.
Natsu looked at her in confusion, "You really don't have the first clue about what goes on here, do you?"
Slowly, she shook her head. Natsu sighed again and gestured back to the gym. "This was my idea. It may seem unconventional, but I swear, it works."
He leaned against the wall now, watching as the two people in the corner kept sparring, apparently oblivious to their presence.
"How do you know that it works?" she asked softly, still not quite understanding specifically how a gym would help in any scenario, "What gave you the idea? Why are you so certain?"
Natsu didn't respond for a moment, still watching the two opponents. Just when Lucy thought she wouldn't get an answer, he spoke up, "I know it works because it was the only thing that helped me."
"Helped...you?" she asked uncertainly.
He nodded, turned back to face her, "Look, when I was a kid, I was in an orphanage and...it wasn't a good place. Not like the one here in town."
Lucy didn't respond, wondering where he was going with this.
"We all had our issues there, but there was this one kid who was really messed up named Zeref. He was legitimately insane, always calling me his little brother and saying that he was gonna take over the world with me at his side. One day, I don't know how, he got ahold of a knife. Took me to the attic and started...well he said he was saving me, but the cops called it torture. He was sent to a mental hospital and I never saw him again."
"Natsu, you don't have to-"
"You asked. Don't ask unless you don't want to know." he cut her off again, avoiding her eyes once more, "Truth is, it wasn't my idea. I just stole it from Igneel."
"Who?"
"He was my therapist. After what happened, I wasn't doing too well. So the orphanage workers signed me up for therapy as a last ditch effort. Nothing in my head would just settle down, ya know?" he took a deep breath before he continued, "I kept going right back to the attic with Zeref and how I couldn't do anything. I would lash out at everyone. And then, one day, Igneel took me to a gym, put me in front of a punching back, and told me to hit it as hard as I could and as many times as I could."
Lucy stayed quiet, listening to his story. Never in a million years had she thought about what he might've gone through.
"Soon as I did, something just clicked. It was some sort of outlet for everything. While I worked out, everything just made sense. The more I punched that bag, the more it felt like I was punching my own demons away. The world was ok again. I could actually make some progress towards feeling better. I got really close to Igneel after that. He was the closest thing I ever had to a dad. He died when I was 17 and that's when I decided to do what he did. Help people work through their pasts. It's surprising how many people just need to punch something before they can talk to a stranger about their issues."
Natsu took a deep breath and Lucy felt that lump return to her throat. What exactly did you say to someone after something like that?
Lucy felt horrible, her words from yesterday ringing through her head. Of course he took his job seriously. How could she have ever though otherwise?
"Um," she cleared her throat uncomfortably, "Do you use this place for anything else?"
Natsu looked at her curiously before answering, "We run some classes. Erza spearheaded a self defense program to help people who've been assaulted. Juvia does yoga classes, mostly for people with anxiety. Apparently the breathing and stretching help somehow. I don't really get it."
"That's nice." And it was, but Lucy's words sounded fake, even to her own ears.
"Wanna see the play room?"
"Yes please." Lucy said in relief quickly, eager to get away from the awkward atmosphere, although the lingering taste of regret over her words stayed in her throat.
The two of them walked down the hall in silence, Natsu leading the way. They rounded a few corners, passing a few people, before Lucy couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm sorry." she burst out.
Natsu stopped short at her words, "Huh?"
"I'm sorry, for what I said yesterday. I shouldn't have doubted you."
Natsu just laughed, "It's all good. I wasn't hurt."
"I still should've been kinder towards you." Lucy insisted, "You're helping people as best you can and I was rude and hurtful."
"Hey, it's ok." he said, smiling at her, "You're a weirdo, it was expected."
Lucy's eyebrow twitched and she tried not to glare at him. What he really insulting her after she had apologized?!
"Actually I'm really glad you came today." Natsu continued, oblivious to her anger, "I wanted to talk to you about something really important."
He dug back into his pockets and pulled out a business card. Lucy took it hesitantly.
"We didn't get a chance to meet her today, it's her day off, but this is Levy's card. She's a therapist here." Natsu said, "Not like me. She's the 'sit on a couch and talk it out' kind. I thought you might like to get in touch with her."
"E-Excuse me?" Lucy said, looking up at him, insulted, "You think I need a shrink?!"
For once he didn't comment on her yelling, "Not for anything bad. I just thought it might help. I mean...well, I saw how you looked yesterday and thou-"
"HOW I LOOKED?!"
He nodded slowly, looking around to see if there was anyone else in the hallway. Luckily they were alone for the time being, "Yeah, I mean, you have the same eyes that the rest of us do." he said as if that explained everything, a little confused by her reaction.
"Oh, and just what did my eyes say?!"
"Look, it's ok, we all get the same look in our eyes," he said as gently as he could, "When we've gone through stuff and never gotten any help for it. I was just trying to-"
"Well stop trying!" Lucy yelled at him. The pinkette's eyes widened and he stepped back as she continued, "I didn't come here for you to psycho-analyse me! I don't need your help and I certainly didn't ask for it! Do me a favor and just stay out of my life!"
Lucy didn't wait for him to respond and instead stormed off, the business card crumpled up in her hand.
She barely realized that she had gone right by the play room in her anger, only stopping in surprise when she caught sight of a tiny blue haired girl smiling up at her friend as he climbed to the top of a small jungle gym.
The girl was in a wheelchair.
Lucy couldn't help it. She burst into tears.
"It's ok Princess," Virgo whispered soothingly as she helped Lucy into her bed not two hours later, "You've had a long day."
"The gall of that man," Lucy sniffled, trying to hold onto her dignity.
"I must say, I don't think I've ever seen you so alive Princess, not in a long time. This Natsu is really something." Virgo mused, having missed her words.
"What?"
"Ever since Mr. Heartfilia died, you haven't been the same. But since meeting Natsu yesterday, you almost seem like your old self." Virgo explained.
"I haven't changed. I'm still me." Lucy protested weakly.
Virgo just smiled; she had always been able to see right through her.
"Punish me if I overstep my bounds Princess, but have you thought about taking his advice? He is an expert on the subject."
"I don't need therapy. I'm fine." Lucy said stubbornly.
"That's what my cousin Aries thought when she was being abused by her old employer." Virgo whispered, taking Lucy's hand gently when her eyes widened, "She didn't realize it either, until it got pointed out by someone close to her"
"I-I didn't know that Aries-"
"She doesn't like to talk about it." Virgo whispered, "Just like you don't like to talk about what you've been through."
"Virgo," Lucy looked close to crying at her words.
She just smiled, "Mistress Layla would want you to at least try it. Just once."
Lucy gulped, trying to keep the tears at bay.
Slowly she reached for her bedside table, where Virgo had placed her phone and the crumpled card.
"Hello, this is Levy McGarden-Redfox, how may I help you?"
Lucy took a deep breath. Meeting Virgo's steady and comforting gaze, she said, "My name's Lucy. I...I need to schedule an appointment."