My return to normal life is wrong as expected

by bearly writing

Hachiman Hikigaya, once a rising star at Shuuchin, suddenly resigns before his second year to attend Sobu. It's hard to leave your past behind when everything leads back to who you once were.

18. Chapter 18

Interlude 1: Our last days of summer are (not) peaceful

From: shirogane.k .net

To: 7eight9man .ch

Subject: My regards

Dear Hachiman,

I heard about what happened and was very concerned. I hope you're feeling better, if I can get some time off of work, I'll visit you again. Hopefully, unlike at the hospital, your sister isn't there; I can't imagine she would be too happy to see me. Moeha is trying very hard to live up to the standard of President that Shinomiya and Iino set. I'm trying my best to be her right hand the way that you were Shinomiya's, and Moeha was Iino's.

My sincere best wishes,

Kei Shirogane.

I clenched my fists. When I had ordered his email hacked, all those years ago; it had been to dredge up dirt on a new contractor for the family. But, since he had become one of my closest friends, I hardly bothered spying on him anymore.

But this email had set my blood boiling, I pushed my chair away from the desk and spun as it rolled backward. I clapped my hands twice and almost immediately two burly, tattoo-covered men marched into the room. They were neither calm nor relaxed, but their hands held no weapons as I hadn't used the emergency signal.

"Hachiman Hikigaya was in the hospital recently, find out which one and get the medical report." I pointed at the taller of the two, who nodded and left immediately. "And you," I pointed at the shorter and wider fellow, "bring me more tea, and another box of Pocky."

He sprinted out the door treating my tasks like a matter of life or death. It was good to be respected, even though I would hardly kill the man for this. The Ryuujugami Yakuza was a serious crime family but also an old one. Everyone knew that constantly losing members was a recipe for collapse. We hadn't stuck around for so long by being wasteful.

I fiddled with my cap before both men reappeared, the shorter and stouter delivered the tray onto my desk, removed the trash, and returned to his companion's side, standing straight with his arms folded behind his back.

The other offered me a small binder, with pages that had been freshly printed. You could always smell the fresh ink. Hachiman used to smell that way, from too many hours working, he carried the scent of ink.

As I flipped through the papers, I frowned slightly. Closed the binder and handed it back, "Find whoever sells that specific cocktail of drugs, and make them say who they sell to. Whoever was hunting at a festival was likely a repeat buyer. You have to have experience to be confident enough to try drugging someone at a festival. After sending out a memo, take the night off, you've both done the family proud."

I turned back to my screens, restarting the game that I'd paused, and letting my mind wander. Through my headphones, I could hear the two yakuza banter.

"I can't believe we got the same praise."

"I had a hard task too."

"Shut up, the young miss is nice. She never complains about the snacks we bring."

"She never complains directly, but there's a reason you've never been asked a second time."

Their voices faded away as they turned down the corridor and into one of the complex's stairwells.

My character jumped, and then I had it perform a dash left.

Hikigaya would never approve of what I was going to do. He would insinuate that he wasn't worth the trouble. He would be wrong.

I latched onto the wall and then double jumped onto an enemy. I performed a downward attack and it landed, resetting my jumps. I used my reset abilities to reach the next bit of solid ground.

Hikigaya never understood the truth. He would laugh it off, but never acknowledge it when I told him that he was a member of the family now. They had bowed to him, he had bowed to me, and then we shared a drink. In the eyes of our organization, he was second in standing to only me and my father.

My character ran right, jumping another enemy.

We didn't tolerate it when something that was ours was threatened, much less harmed. Hikigaya was one of us, and he had been harmed. Whoever did this would pay in blood.

My character did a wire attack, leaving the enemy stuck. What a fitting move.

~/~

I dropped my pencil when the alarm clock beeped, removing my hands from the test the way he had taught me, I let my big brother collect the papers.

He looked them over and sighed, he made no marks but I knew without a doubt his mental score was accurate. "Was that good enough?" I asked, taking a sip from my clear bottle of water with the label removed.

"For Soubu, yes. But for Shuuchin, no." He blinked when I began to protest vehemently.

"There's no way that I'm going to Shuuchin. I want to go to Soubu and be with you. I don't need Shuuchin, I don't want to go. The people there are terrible." I complained, holding my hands up in a clear NO gesture.

He pinched his nasal bridge. A term that I had laughed at him for using but still found charming in a way. "The people you met are good people, you just need to give them a chance."

I stood up more explosively than intended and the chair fell back behind me. "Are they good though? These people ask for everything that you are, and then when you give them that. Guess what happens; they ask for more. All they do is take until there's nothing left." I helped him stand and led him to the couch where we could sit.

Despite my anger, he was still someone I loved and I would never do anything to hurt him. No matter how angry he makes me now, with his stubbornness and self-sacrificing doctrine. He was also the one who, no matter how tired he was, read my stories, walked me to school, and helped me with homework.

His care and patience with me had been endless, and my reciprocity was likewise. He threw an arm around me and I relished in it, he had provided me with enough hugs and physical contact to make up for both of our parents.

"There's more to them than you think. How about this? The school festival is coming up at Soubu, I'll invite a few to come and hang out, then talk with you after. Just give them a chance, for me." He pleaded, head resting on my own. I took a deep breath, he smelled like rain and freshly cut grass.

"Fine, I'll meet with them or whatever, but that doesn't mean I'm committing to Shuuchin or whatever." I acquiesced, knowing that it was easier to give in like this and possibly wheedle something out of him in exchange. "But, you need to promise you'll only do four hours of legal work a day. That includes reading and consulting." I stared into his eyes and he into mine.

"Fine, but I'm not cooking now, I'm not exercising, and now I'm not researching. What the hell am I going to do with my time?" He complained, his nostrils exhaling and the air tickling my neck.

"Well, you can spend it spoiling me." I offered, in a self-satisfied tone. Laughing along with him. "Mom and Dad, won't be back at home forever, after that we can cook together." I offered, voice muffled on account of being snuggled into his chest.

"Thank god for small mercies."

~/~

From: 7eight9man .ch

To: shirogane.k .net

Subject: replying to 'My regards' + replying to your note/request.

Dear Kei,

Don't be concerned about struggling to fill the shoes of your predecessors. I felt the same way at the time and much like climbing a hill, it is only in retrospect that we see how far we've come. In regards to your request, I can't in good consciousness disclose anything your brother has shared with me.

Discretion is a crucial part of being both an attorney and a friend. I would, however, recommend asking him, I know that it's difficult but it's obvious to the dead and blind that he wants to connect more with you but just doesn't know how. I myself struggle to get along with my sister sometimes.

I would be delighted to see you in person, please just give me a little forewarning, so that I may prepare adequate hosting, and hide any embarrassing baby photos.

With warm wishes,

Hachiman Hikigaya.

P.S. tell your brother that I'm sorry for being short with him. There's nothing to be embarrassed about if those were honest, spontaneous proclamations. In contrast, I once gave a speech in front of hundreds with spaghetti sauce on my shirt, one witness to your embarrassment is not a bad ratio.

~/~

My sister laughed while scrolling on her smartphone. She had earned the money herself on her paper routes. I looked up from my omelet.

"What's so funny, Kei?" I asked.

"Mind your o…" she paused. "A message from Hikigaya. He wants to apologize for being short with you, relay that you have nothing to be embarrassed about, and then goes on to share a humiliating story where he gave a speech with pasta sauce all over his shirt." She finished.

The fact that she'd been messaging with a guy, even though it was one that I trusted made me want to press for details. But, that was a path that I knew the end of. She would clam up and retreat into her room.

I tried a different, less protective approach. "So, do you plan to visit him in Chiba soon?" To which she shrugged.

"Maybe, you can come with me if you want." She looked away. I mentally cheered, Miyuki, you're an absolute genius.

"If you go to Chiba make sure it's during the day and together." My father warned, not looking up from his newspaper.

I squinted, Hikigaya despite his (undisclosed but evidently massive) wealth lived in an upper-middle-class neighborhood. It was safe and clean but not anything elaborate. "The walk from the station isn't that dangerous."

Kei was clearly listening but idled on her phone.

"Now it is. Some poor soul was killed and then strung up with fishing wire at the harbor. Not that far from the station. People say it was like a disgusting work of modern art. Some real gruesome shit." He rumbled in a deep voice, adding fear to an already horrifying story.

I couldn't help myself. "Dad, not in front of Kei!" I chastised.

Her lips were thin as she stood up. "I'm not a child, stop treating me like a baby." She stalked away, plate forgotten. I sighed but didn't call her back to clear it, that would only escalate things.

Two steps forward, one step back.

~/~

I skipped through the house. Relaxed and easy, ever since Yukino had come home, my parents had focused less on me. She would've been here earlier except she was invited to attend a festival with Hikigaya and Gahama. My parents had been thrilled and let her stay longer in the apartment so that she could attend.

She had come home a few days prior but had been even less fun than usual. My teasing comments had been taken with uncharacteristic aplomb.

So I put out a feeler with my mom and dad. The driver who was supposed to pick her up from the festival never did, she walked home, but Mother and Father were so happy that they hardly cared.

But I knew Yukino. Ever since she was the little crybaby that followed me around. Since that time the easiest way to get rid of her was to tire out her poor stamina and then evade. My dear little sister would hardly walk, two miles home unless something had happened. How curious?

~/~

I sat in the dark of my room, before throwing open the blinds. I winced as the light poured in but steeled myself. I had been given another chance by someone who believed in me. I couldn't waste it.

I brushed my hair from my eyes and opened the window, letting the stale air flow outward. I collected the trash from my floor and pushed it into my garbage bin. I almost forgot what color the carpet was.

I killed the roaches and spiders that made my mess their home, the room beginning to take order once again. I pulled away a pile of dirty clothes and found an orange-colored heirloom underneath. I inspected the tangerine running shoes before pulling them on.

I wonder how far I could go?

~/~

I sluggishly rolled over, the sand underneath my towel shifting, to absorb my energy. But I was nothing if not determined and managed to complete a full 180-degree turn.

I let the sun warm my back, relaxing in the heat like a cat. For our last vacation, my family chose to stay domestic, and it was not so coincidentally lined up with the minister's retreat nearby.

My father could enjoy the upper-crust politicking, I was more than happy to enjoy the sea instead.

I groaned when footsteps approached, and the warmth-giving rays of the sun were blocked by a body. With excruciating effort, I rolled over and pulled my sunglasses back down over my eyes.

"Chika, how was my dear little vice-president? I would've visited but college keeps your big sis, so busy." My sister pouted. "I sent Hikicchi a message wishing him well but all he did was reply thank you and wish me well in turn. He didn't even invite me to tea, what a scoundrel."

I turned back over, this was nothing worth disturbing my relaxation, "Don't be mad, he was in bad shape, he's probably still recovering." I let myself drift off once more as my sister retreated, her offense mollified.

Board game night might be an interesting affair if they run into each other.

~/~

i just don't see us working out srry :(

I read the text message over and over. Then why didn't this coward say so at the end of our date, instead he waits to say it now? Letting me get my hopes up over nothing. What a joke.

I pulled bills out of my wallet and left them on the table of the diner. I took my keys from my jean pockets and pointed them to unlock my car.

I froze for a moment as a young girl looking like a time-traveling Yukinoshita walked by giggling with another girl. They elbowed each other, and shared smiles, like something out of a friendship anime. That helped me determine that the child was not in fact a time travelling student of mine, even as a kid I doubted that Yukinoshita was that carefree.

"RumiRumi, let's go to the zoo."

"Okay, Nidorin."

They walked, arm in arm smiling. That's all I want, someone to be cute with, to fall in love with, to share my life with. Is that so much to ask? To have someone?

I unlock my car, and it gives an enthusiastic beep. "At least you won't leave me." I say out loud. My god, Shizuka, you really do need a boyfriend.

~/~

I let the momentum pull me downwards, collapsing on the couch. The courthouse was exhausting today, but when I think of her, it all becomes easy. I wanted a beer but couldn't find it in me to walk to the kitchen and retrieve one.

Speaking of my darling, I see her peeking into the living room, through the crack in our oak doors. "Miko." I call out, fighting the hands of sleep that threaten to drag me down.

I pat the spot next to me and she dutifully sits down next to me. "Hey, Papa, How was your day?" She looks at me, her eyes slightly red and puffy.

I frown. "Have you been crying, Miko?" I ask, stroking her hair. Trying to comfort my lovely daughter from any more tears.

I fail spectacularly, the waterworks really beginning now as she wails in my arms. Her arms slack by her side; mine, tight around her. "It's okay my darling, I'm here. Papa's here." I coo gently.

"Do bad people eventually get their comeuppance?" Her eyes were wide and tearful.

I contemplated my answer, as a man of principle I refuse to lie, even to comfort my daughter. But these words could change the deep sense of right and wrong my wife and I had tried to cultivate in her. "I hope so, that people recognize right and wrong, and uphold justice. But the truth is that I don't know."

I kissed the top of her head, and she smiled but was unsatisfied with the answer. "So some bad people get away?"

"They do." I sighed. "Where's this coming from?"

After she explained the situation, I bade her goodnight and she walked off, not inspired or enlightened by my answers but not disillusioned either. My thoughts went to Hikigaya, first someone I knew as a larger-than-life figure, then as a friend of my daughter's.

It had been quite a shock to be introduced to him. To see him as a normal boy, and not the monster of law that I imagined him to be.

I fell asleep, thoughts racing but my fatigue even faster.

~/~

I flipped the page, rubbing my temples as I struggled through the textbook line by line. A half-eaten sandwich sat on a plate next to me, and my dog was eyeing it longingly from the floor.

After learning about Hikki, this is one of the few times that I could say I wished to be like him. For all the issues and challenges that he faced, the ability to read at ridiculous speeds and then remember every word that you did read forever seemed like it would be a boon right now.

My mind flashed with the memory of him lying there, dead. How all that I had been able to do was call 911. How Yukinoshita took charge and saved his life, I hated how powerless I felt.

The terror of not being able to do anything weighed heavily on me. Each night for the last week I'd shot awake, drenched in sweat, visions of a dead Hikki dancing beneath my eyelids. I had started sleeping with a teddy bear, needing something to hold onto.

I called up Yukino for another sleepover and relished being able to hold her while she slept. She smelled like lilacs and snow. I wished that every night could be that way.

I would've told my mom and asked her to let me sleep with her, but I wouldn't worry her more. Between working and being my mom, and fretting about one detracting from her success in the other; she had more than enough on her plate.

That's why I was studying now. I knew where I wanted to go, and what I needed to do to get there, but didn't know if I had the strength to do it. The road to medical school lay before me but it was rough and steep. That's why I was taking prerequisite classes online, and working for better grades. To become a doctor was my goal.

Maybe, it was because I thought they wouldn't have understood, or maybe it was because I knew that they couldn't. But, I began to mentally drift away from my clique, I responded automatically to each text from Yumiko and Hina and kept up a polite front as we hung out. I suddenly wasn't that distraught at the notion of losing touch after high school.

The old vision of the future that I'd had was changed. I knew that Yukinon and Hikki would do great things, that was obvious, but I'd always assumed that I would be left behind. But now, I wanted to walk alongside them, I wanted to strive to be the best.

I resumed my studying with fervor, working through an online community college biochemistry course. I hated studying with a passion but it was necessary, I wanted to become someone who could help others, who didn't have to sit back and watch their friend die.

I wouldn't fail again.

~/~

Dinner was awkward that night, everyone with the name Hikigaya looked uncomfortable. Oh wait everyone at the table has the name Hikigaya. Pardon my garbage sense of humor, my little sister and parents looked over when I snorted into my soup.

My mom may have been replaced by an alternative alien life form. For the first time since I could remember, approximately 15 years, 2 days, 9 hours, and 6 minutes, she had declined a work phone call. I was so shocked that I dropped my bowl of gourmet cereal, a useless luxury that I indulged in because the doctor said better nutrition might help the healing process.

My dad was about the same, just now I could hear him tell off junior engineers from his room for not running the appropriate software tests before requesting his overview. It did make me thankful though that I'd paid to have the walls reinforced and additionally soundproofed; this and each anniversary and holiday convinced me that the walls may have been the best money that I ever spent.

You could only hear, oh god, so many times before you wanted to tell them to go to church. I had endured that as an older sibling. At least my room acted as a buffer to Komachi's.

"Hachiman, are you alright?"

"Son, you okay?"

My mom and dad, respectively, asked.

I nodded, still walking on eggshells around them. It was so hard to understand their intentions and feelings. Terrible parents they may have been, but still, it was understandable to be scared if your son was almost killed with date-rape drugs.

That concern was unwanted now, but it was hard to tell them to screw off. I still hoped that maybe they could bond with Komachi and be the caretakers that I failed to be.

I knew that they would never be the parents that I needed when I was young, but tenuous peace was a definite possibility and an outcome that I was willing to accept.

I took another bite of my soup and kept up my pleasant mask.

~/~

"Ai!"

"Ai!"

"Ai!"

I opened my eyes, leaving the wonderful oblivion that I'd experienced as I floated in the massive bathtub. "Kaguya, if you keep calling my name you'll sound like a sailor. I joked, cringing at the terrible humor.

She cringed too, and I couldn't blame her, it sounded like something that 'he' would say. I winced at the images of beady eyes, long hair, and monotone voice. The feeling of his hand in mine still lingered, I might've blushed if the heat hadn't already brought the blood to my cheeks.

I feel bad, I know that he had feelings for me, but there I went doing something that could be construed as romantic.

I blinked away those thoughts and turned back to (one of) my employer(s). "How can I help you Kaguya?" I floated towards the edge of the tub, hauling myself over the edge and gracefully landing.

"I broke the internet." She cried. I squeezed my eyes shut, counted to three, and then opened them once more.

"Alright, why don't you walk me through what happened." I was using this application called, 'settings' on the laptop, and I couldn't figure out how to get out." She whined, quite cutely. "I hit a few random things and now it says it's updating. What should I do?"

I sighed. "Okay, bring it in here and let me work on it. The steam should help revitalize the superconductors." I was absolutely talking out of my ass, but I just needed a few hours in peace to gather my thoughts.

Kaguya nodded like I was brilliant or like I deserved her respect. Just another lie, piled on top of the rest. How many more lies would I tell? How many more masks would I wear?

The anxiety gripped me, as it always did, but I ignored it. I received the laptop, from a grateful Kaguya; then, wrapped it in a fluffy towel; and finally, got back to my bath.

All of those things could wait, right now I just wanted to enjoy my bath.

Fin. Interlude 1

(A/N): I'm really excited to be releasing what I think is my longest chapter to date. I really had a blast writing this one and hope you guys will enjoy reading it. I recently started reading, 'My Hero School Adventure is All Wrong as I Expected' by u/storybookknight. I loved it and its use of multi perspectives helped inspire this chapter. It's given me some ideas for my own Oregairu x BNHA story, so stay tuned for that.

As usual, please review.

It really helps me improve as an author which is my ultimate goal.