Duran-kun & Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater

(featuring the Kikukawa family houseplant)

"Thanks a lot for helping me with these, everyone," Yukino said as she and Mai set the three-foot-square cardboard box down in the corner of the student council room. Chie and Aoi followed, setting their box down next to it.

"It's no problem; we're glad to help out," Mai said, wiping the sweat off her forehead with a handkerchief.

"Though I've got to ask," Chie put in, "now that you're the head of the Executive Committee, don't you have a squad of brawny lackeys who could do this for you?"

"Well..." Yukino began hesitantly, then blushed. "I didn't want to call them up on a Sunday to come in to do work."

"But it was fine to call up your friends, huh?" Chie's huge grin took the sting out of her words.

"I know, Haruka would probably say that I'm letting the committee members get lazy, but..." She blushed again. "And I'd be really embarrassed to tell a bunch of boys about this," she admitted.

She should have known better than to offer such a line to her friends. Three eager faces closed in on her like wolves cornering wounded prey.

"Ohhhhhh?" Chie was out in front. "Do tell, Yukino."

"Yeah!" Aoi chimed in. "All you said was that you'd caught some guys dealing stuff out of the back of a truck and scared them off."

"Pretty please?" Mai added.

Yukino bowed to peer pressure.

"I was walking to the garden store," she said, "when I saw two boys and one girl delivering boxes to another boy who was running a little street stand for selling DVDs. I recognized them as students, so first I took pictures of them with my phone, and then I had Diana create an illusion of a police car with sirens and lights. They jumped in the truck and drove off at once, leaving the boxes they'd already unloaded behind."

"That was pretty clever," Chie said.

"But why did you have Diana with you?" Mai wondered.

"She likes to pick out her own fertilizer," Yukino said. The potted plant, currently sitting on the president's desk next to a stack of circulars, quivered its fronds in acknowledgement.

"Aw, that's so cute," Mai said. "Kagutsuchi just eats whatever I feed him."

"Well, but you're such a good cook he probably likes all of it."

Chie laughed.

"You people and your weird pets."

"I wish Nao had a plant," Aoi groused, recalling numerous conflicts with her roommate's CHILD.

"The police will be by to pick up these boxes on Monday, but I wanted to properly lock them up without breaking the chain of custody so they can be used as evidence. Headmistress Fumi will want to take disciplinary action as well, I think, since this goes a little beyond violating the student codes."

The girls nodded at Yukino. It wasn't, she thought, quite how Haruka would have handled the situation, but it should get the job done, which was the important thing.

"But what I still don't see is why you'd be embarrassed," Chie said, though her smirk suggested that she had a pretty good idea as to why.

"W-well, it's just..."

"You know, don't you also have to log in the contents of these boxes as well?" she went on. "It's not enough to just say 'two boxes of DVDs,' at least according to all the cop shows that I've watched. And given how big and heavy those boxes are, I think it could take all afternoon if you have to do it yourself. What say we help her out with that, girls?"

"That's a good idea, Chie," Mai said.

"Um, it's really not..." Yukino began, but Chie was already pulling open the flaps of the nearest box, to reveal the neat stacks of bootleg anime DVDs.

Specifically, bootleg adult anime DVDs.

It was a testament to the high regard in which Yukino's friends held her character that not even Chie made any remark along the lines of "oh, so you wanted to do this alone so you could hold a little private screening, eh?" Which was good, because if they had it was entirely possible Yukino would have dropped dead from embarrassment on the spot.

"Okay, I can see why you didn't want the boys around snickering and leering at this stuff," Mai said.

Yukino nodded.

"It was different when Haruka would catch someone with this kind of material, but..."

"You're new on the job and not quite so intimidating," Aoi said sympathetically.

"Hm, some of these look pretty hot," Chie offered, not quite so helpfully as the others. "What's this one, Angel of Darkness IV? I wonder if—"

She was cut off by the smack of a sheaf of circulars hitting her in the face.

"Huh? What was that about?"

The girls looked over to the desk, where Diana was writhing angrily.

"Sorry about that, Chie," Yukino explained. "She's awfully offended by that one. She thinks it gives people a really bad opinion of tentacle-vine plants."

~X X X~

A/N: I admit, I was of two minds about posting this one (I didn't even write it up in the file with the other D&KOT stories), but my wife laughed so hard that I had to go ahead with it. Here's hoping at least some of you get to enjoy it!