CHAPTER FORTY-THREE – RECONNECTING (SayoHiro)
All across the city, the weather had been overcast for the past couple of days, hinting at the approach of rain; there were cloudy skies, even colder winds and little to no sunlight. Even with the sun gone, though, the colors of the city were no less diminished. Lights remained vibrant, their radiance defying the grey hue of the cloudy weather. The remaining trees that have not yielded their leaves to autumn just yet swayed lazily in the afternoon breezes like serene dancers amidst the unmoving concrete and glass edifices of downtown. Everyone's mood was quiet but not subdued, and it made indoor jaunts even more prevalent as people flocked inside cafés, diners and even bars, looking to rid themselves of the autumn chill with a hot bowl of ramen or a few cups of rice wine. The noise of talk and laughter within these places often enticed others to seek out respite in other less cramped spaces. It was not the perfect time to be out and about exploring, especially since the chilly air was warding off would-be visitors from exploring around town in the parks and other outdoor areas, but it lent a peaceful and interactive vibe to the week nonetheless. With the preparations for the cultural festival underway, students were taking advantage of the weather to hold meetings at each other's houses or at various places across the city, with the calm atmosphere lending its benefit and getting everyone's creative juices flowing.
Akihiro glanced outside the windows, sighing as he walked along the corridor back to his classroom. As much as the weather had everyone else in a good mood, the quartet's disposition had hit another snag after Kenta had gotten into a fight a couple of days before. After hearing the details from Naoki, who had witnessed everything firsthand at the gymnasium where the fight happened, Akihiro could not blame Kenta from getting into the fight in the first place. There was an undeniable fierceness and bullheadedness beneath the fun-loving exterior Kenta had, and Akihiro was certain that he had gotten into many other fights long before he had met him. Looking back into the past, Akihiro remembered how he had gotten into trouble before back in elementary and middle school for defending Sayori from would-be bullies. He sympathized with Kenta in that regard when Naoki had narrated how Kenta's opponent had taunted him about Monika and technically provoked their fiery-headed friend into kick-starting the scuffle. However, it was evident that Kenta was anything except proud of what happened. Akihiro had tried contacting him after Naoki had told them the news, but Kenta had simply apologized and stated that he needed some time alone and that he could not bear to look anyone in the face at the moment. Akihiro could not fault him for that; news of the fight had spread quickly to everyone who knew the participants, and he was sure that Kenta was dealing with some unwanted attention from both his peers and the people who disliked him, with Monika being at the top of it all.
With him being a mood-maker, Kenta's diminished presence was felt palpably by everyone else in the quartet. He had taken to eating alone during lunchtimes, and no one in the quartet seemed to want to join him as per his wishes to isolate himself. Kenta did, however, relay some thoughts to them right before he began spending more time alone; that no matter what happens, he will find a way to bounce back and join them all once again in the highs and lows that they were going through. Akihiro felt warmed and comforted by this, and he hoped that Kenta would indeed begin getting back on his feet and put this particular episode behind him.
Back in the 3-B classroom, Akihiro idly wrote down the ideas that he would be pitching to his schoolmates about their planned scavenger hunt for the festival. Everyone had agreed that the Dungeon Delvers theme would add a nice touch, and so work began on how to make it as much of an authentic RPG experience as possible. Because he played Dungeon Delvers more than anyone else in their group, Akihiro had been tasked with helping his classmates write down some of the mechanics and lore that they would need for the NPC dialogue and quests. To distract his mind from his worries for a while and to get his thinking gears going, Akihiro imagined how the quartet would look as an RPG party. In his mind's eye, he saw himself wielding a sword and a shield as Naoki unleashed spells of frost and fire with a magical staff; Kenta would be swinging a battle axe while Daisuke shot down skeletons from afar with a crossbow. Though it all seemed admittedly juvenile, such imaginative thoughts helped lighten his mood gradually, but even this small comfort was stifled when he saw just how much of an RPG party the quartet actually was—a group of ragtag comrades facing the adversities that life was throwing at them as they went.
Even as he wrote in silence, though, Akihiro soon found himself thinking sorely of Sayori once again. Even the weather reminded him of their encounters in autumns past, when there were times that he would grow exasperated as the chilly weather seemed to trigger Sayori's hunger, causing her to coax him into going out to eat after school all the time. Now, he found himself willing to spend all of his weekly allowance in an instant if it meant being with her again. It still saddened him to walk to and from school without her, a fact which his other friends had begun noticing as the days passed. Akihiro wanted to believe that Sayori was doing better during her absence, and that she was simply busy with a number of things especially since the festival was approaching. This thought was smothered, however, by the idea that Sayori may possibly be feeling down again, that she was distancing herself from him because she did not want to burden him with her problems and sad thoughts. With some additional worry, Akihiro imagined that she must have even witnessed what had happened at her place regarding the attempted suicide of that close friend of Naoki's mother. Being a sweet and extremely caring girl, Sayori would have undoubtedly reacted with horror and worry, and it made him regret not being there to comfort her if that was truly the case.
By the end of the day, Akihiro decided that it wouldn't hurt to send Sayori one more text asking her how she was doing and if she was okay with him paying her a visit, no matter how short. Because Sayori replied so sparingly—if she did reply at all—he wondered if there was still any point in sending texts that would be left unanswered. Still, he decided that it would be better if he kept doing so; not sending anything at all made him feel even lonelier than he would have liked to admit.
"hello Sayori… how are u? i hope ur doing fine. just hit me up when ur not bc, ok? take care of urself, and don't 4get 2 eat :)"
Looking over at the message as he pressed "Send," Akihiro knew that he could add so much more to it, wondering if such short messages would make Sayori feel that he was being too casual or even insincere. Nevertheless, it couldn't be helped, since it was always difficult to relay one's exact feelings and thoughts through the limited characters of a digital message online or through a cellphone. He had slipped in that smiley in the last part so as not to seem too forlorn, though he knew that it would do little to prove that.
Back at his apartment later that day, Akihiro rested for a long while, waiting to take a bath and wondering where he would go later for dinner when he saw, to his surprise, that Sayori had replied. All thoughts about dinner momentarily vanishing, he looked at his phone in a flash.
"hello akihiro! i'm rly rly sorry 4 not replying all week :'( i was just taking care of a few things all week and i end up 4getting 2 reply when i'm finished. rly clumsy of me, i know :( i'm doing better now, i've been thinking abt wat 2 do 4 the festival with some of my classm8s. how about u? i hope ur doing ok too. how were ur exams? i did pretty well with mine, i guess, but i didn't get an A anywhere. oh well, better luck nxt time, right? haha :p anyway if ur bc planning with ur friends or doing other stuff, just tell me ok? i hope i didn't disturb u or anything…"
Within the next minute, Akihiro had managed to read the message three times, feeling relieved that Sayori was doing fine. Moreover, he was elated that she had actually replied with a rather extensive text this time. Not wanting to let this moment go to waste, he sent his reply as hastily as he could.
"hey there! don't worry, i understand if u've been bc. i'm not busy or anything rn. i was just thinking abt where to go out 4 dinner when u txted. have u eaten already? If not, do u wanna meet up somewhere so that we can eat 2gether?"
Admittedly, the last part was a quick addition that Akihiro snuck in before he sent his reply. Feeling emboldened by Sayori's renewed presence, he felt overcome by a strong desire to go out with her again, to eat wherever she wanted to eat and to discuss anything that they could talk about. He wanted to tell her about the ideas that he was pitching to his friends for the festival, and discuss the results of his own exam papers and how he also failed to score an A like her.
To his luck, Sayori replied, "if u want, sure thing :) but i dunno where we can go… :("
Akihiro smiled, even as Sayori wasn't around to see the expression. "leave that 2 me"
Sayori looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, as if she was checking for any signs that would tell her that she was not ready. Apart from the unkempt state of her hair and the slightly tired look of her eyes, she felt fine enough. The only kind of anxiety that she was feeling was the idea of seeing Akihiro again after another lengthy break. In spite of this, she felt that it was a good time to start bridging the gap between the two of them. She had been trying to gather up the courage and determination to answer Akihiro's texts with more than just simple messages that brooked no more subsequent replies. This time, she did not want to drive him off again. That he had replied so readily and asked her out without a second thought told her just how much he missed her. It was a given that she missed him severely as well, no matter how much the voices in her mind whispered.
At that, Sayori bristled. She had tried her best in the past days to find a way to shut those tiresome voices out by focusing on other things. When her test papers had been returned, she found a reason to celebrate and feel relieved that she had done well in spite of the incredible dejection she had felt during exam week, even if she did fail to garner an A. As much as she wanted to criticize herself for that—and the voices in her head certainly saw that chance—she decided instead to dwell on the positive side and be happy that she had managed to pass everything at least. In the end, her efforts worked a little, and she soon found herself slowly looking for other ways to become happy or at least normal again. Her classmates, who had noticed her diminished presence increasingly as time passed by, were pleasantly surprised to see her integrating herself in their group once again. Monika had also told her how happy she was that she was doing better; apart from Akihiro, only she knew about what Sayori was going through, and she made it a point to check on how she's doing in and out of class whenever she was not busy.
Musing that she had stalled long enough, Sayori turned away from the mirror and left the bathroom, intending to wait for Akihiro outside her door. Not knowing where to go, the two of them decided to meet halfway at her apartment and talk about where they can eat dinner. Sayori had not bothered to change out of her uniform, not wanting to spend more time choosing what to wear and make Akihiro wait longer than he should.
As she closed her door, Sayori eyed unit B-34 at the end of the second floor hallway, remembering with a suppressed shudder what had happened to the poor woman there. According to the other tenants, she was still in the hospital under intensive care, still not waking up from her ordeal. In the days following the event, the apartment had taken on a very somber mood, especially when some policemen arrived to investigate any signs of foul play in what had happened. Everyone else, however, unanimously knew that the incident was an attempted suicide, and nothing else. It was what drove Sayori to read about suicide and depression, driven by the inkling that what she was going through at times might be that kind of mental illness. What surprised her at first was the fact that there were many people who were going through the experiences that she was; surrounded by people who did not seem to have the same problems she did, Sayori always imagined that she was truly alone in dealing with her problems. Whether or not what she had was depression, however, was something that was rather difficult to decipher. Some people in articles noted the difference between simply feeling sad and being actually depressed; clinically depressed people were often diagnosed with the illness, the articles posited.
Her thoughts ground to a halt when Akihiro arrived around ten minutes later. Like her, he was still wearing his school uniform, telling her that he had not bothered dressing up for this date either. He smiled at her, and Sayori felt rather tearful as she beamed back.
"Hey there, S-Sayori," said Akihiro.
"H-Hello, Akihiro," Sayori greeted back. Both of them sounded nervous in her hearing, and who could blame them? Having spent more days away from each other, Sayori knew that they felt like strangers all over again.
"So, where . . . w-where do you wanna go?" asked Akihiro.
"Um, wherever you wanna go," replied Sayori. Truly, she had no idea where the two of them would eat, and anywhere was fine with her as long as she was with him.
"I see. Alright then, let's just . . . um, decide along the way, if that's okay with you."
"S-Sure thing!"
The cold evening air made Sayori wrap her uniform's blazer tighter around herself as they left the apartment and walked down the street. Akihiro did not say much along the way, though he did eye her a few times with a concerned look on his face. Sayori knew that he was still unsure on how to approach her. She blamed herself a little for that, but she chased the thought away almost immediately; it would not do if she started beating herself up over the little things right now.
A few minutes into their walk, Akihiro spoke up. "When I went over at your place, I was with Naoki. I didn't tell you why we were there, right?"
Sayori winced. "Y-You know about what happened there, right?"
"Yeah, Naoki told us, but I didn't know that it happened at your place," replied Akihiro, sighing. "I was pretty worried when I found out. You must've been pretty scared."
"You have no idea," said Sayori quietly. "It was like something f-from a movie. I think the only time I felt that scared w-was when I was having my . . . m-my nightmares."
She felt her resolve weaken a little, causing any further words she had to falter. Sensing her distress, Akihiro did not ask anything else about the matter. Sayori mused that perhaps he didn't want to sully the mood of their first date in a long time with such a grave topic right off the bat. She felt relieved at that, though she knew that the topic would certainly be discussed again in the near future.
After a while, Akihiro suddenly stopped and took off his own blazer. Sayori stood confused for a moment, watching him. To her slight shock, Akihiro wrapped the blazer around her. "For the cold," he said.
"W-Wait, what?" she stammered.
"You're shivering already, Sayori. You need the extra layer of clothing more than I do."
"But h-how about you? You'll freeze."
"It's alright. I don't want you catching a cold or anything," said Akihiro kindly. "A jacket would've been better, though. I'll just bring one next time. Besides, I'll be fine. Good thing our uniforms have long sleeves, eh?"
Sayori smiled, feeling immensely touched. Absence had done nothing to weather Akihiro's concern for her. Again, she felt ashamed for keeping her distance, and for making him sacrifice his own comfort for her.
No, it's fine. There's nothing wrong with this. "T-Thank you," she whispered, wrapping the blazer snugly around herself.
As they entered downtown, they were met with the noise of cars on the streets and people on the sidewalks. The nearby buildings began lighting up as the sky darkened, giving way to night life in the autumn air. To their slight misfortune, most of the eateries around were fully occupied, and the ones that weren't had higher prices than they would have liked.
"Darn, all the best places are full," Sayori muttered as they walked past the sixth diner that they had tried checking out. Some customers were actually standing outside it as they wanted for tables to be vacated.
"Yeah, it's been like this for a while now," said Akihiro. "There's still the night market, but I don't want us to eat out in the cold like this."
"That would be bad, especially since you don't have a jacket," Sayori agreed.
"Well, there's one other place that we can check out, but we'll have to walk some more," said Akihiro as they stopped walking for a moment. "Remember the diner that we ordered takeout from last time when we were at Monika's place? The one Daisuke's family runs?"
"Oh, I forgot about that!" Sayori exclaimed. She remembered how the food had tasted so good then, just like she remembered how happy that day had been. "Where was that again?"
"The opposite side of downtown, close to the neighborhoods there. I still remember the way." Akihiro took out his cellphone, adding, "Hold on, lemme just text Daisuke real quick and ask if the place is crowded. . ."
After around a minute, Akihiro spoke up again, looking at his phone. "Nice. Daisuke says the place isn't that full, and he says he can reserve a table if we want one. What do you say?"
"That's nice of him," said Sayori. "If you're okay with going there, then I'm all for it too. Besides, I don't mind walking a bit more."
"Oh, really?" Akihiro raised an eyebrow shrewdly. "Why is that?"
"I-It'll help keep our appetites up, and we'll be able to eat some more," said Sayori jokingly.
Akihiro laughed. "There's the Sayori I know."
And just like that, as if a barrier between them had been lifted, the two of them began talking more lightly as they made their way to Daisuke's family diner. Akihiro spoke at length about what he had been doing during the time that Sayori was absent; of how his own classmates had also begun noticing that he was not with her all the time anymore. Sayori echoed such sentiments and told Akihiro of how she started making efforts to bounce back from the slump that she was in. With some enthusiasm and relief, she narrated how she had been able to sleep without any more nightmares for now and how she started focusing on things that would help her rather than bring her mood down further. Secretly, she did skip out the part about what she had read online about depression so far after witnessing the aftermath of the attempted suicide at her place, not wanting to insert any topic that might change the mood of their conversations.
"There it is," said Akihiro after a while, pointing to the distance at a red two-story building with a smaller structure connected to it, bearing a sign that read Matsuda Eatery. Sayori, who had never been to this part of the city that much before, saw that the place was easy to miss without its sign and Akihiro's guidance. It wasn't as colorful or prestigious-looking as other eateries downtown were, but it did have a rustic feel to it, like home.
As they drew nearer, the door of the diner opened. Daisuke came out, waving at them as he approached. "Howdy!" he called out, grinning. "I was watching out the window waiting for you guys."
"Hey there, Daisuke," said Akihiro, clapping Daisuke's shoulder when he got close enough.
"Hello," said Sayori, smiling back.
"So, out and about on a date, eh?" asked Daisuke genially. "Wasn't exactly expecting you guys to drop by. Mom was thrilled when I told her some friends of mine were coming."
"Oh, why? Aren't a lot of people stopping by to eat?" Akihiro inquired.
"Nah, we still get customers daily, but it's not the same level as the rest of downtown," replied Daisuke. "My sister's not at home yet, so I'm just helping Mom and the others run things in the meantime. Anyway, let's go inside. It's freezing out here!"
Inside the diner, Sayori felt comforted by the homeliness of the place. The simple furniture and paintings on the walls gave it the same rustic feel that it had on the outside. A good number of chairs and tables were occupied, but there were also a few that were still vacant. Daisuke guided the two of them towards the one that was farther away from the other customers, letting them settle down for a moment to keep warm before they started ordering.
"How much snow do you think is gonna fall around here this winter?" asked Akihiro, glancing outside the windows at the street.
"Mom's wagering that this year's gonna yield a bit more snow," said Daisuke, looking out as well. "My sister wouldn't like that, though. It'll be tougher for her to go to work."
"Where does she work?" asked Sayori.
"At one of the offices downtown. She's an IT professional," Daisuke replied, "though more out of need than by choice, if you ask her. Anyway, whenever you guys are ready, just go ahead and tell me what you wanna eat, alright? Let's just say that I'll be your host for tonight," he added with a laugh.
"You got it, man," said Akihiro, the two of them laughing with Daisuke as he marched off towards the kitchen. He watched him go before turning to Sayori.
"So, tell me again about your exams," he said, placing his hand atop hers.
Sayori smiled rather apologetically. "No A's, but I only got three C's. That's an improvement, right? Last time, I used to get more C's than that."
"Well, you did better than me, that's for sure," said Akihiro, laughing. "I got four C's and no A's too. Would've won if 'get more C's than the other person' is what we're after. Still, at least I didn't slack off too much this time around."
"I'm glad to hear that," said Sayori enthusiastically.
"Thanks. You should be proud of me, since it looks like I'm really turning N-E-A-T instead of N-E-E-T," said Akihiro, laughing. "Just because you're not around often doesn't mean I'm going back to being a slacker."
Sayori laughed with him. "Really clever, Akihiro. Anyway, I am proud. And I'm really sorry for n-not being around. It's not that I'm avoiding you o-or anything, it's—"
"It's okay, Sayori, I understand," said Akihiro earnestly, curling his fingers gently around her hand. "I'm just glad that you're doing fine. And I'm really happy that we managed to go out like this again."
"Same here," Sayori whispered, blushing.
Fifteen minutes later, she felt even better as the two of them talked and ate—Akihiro had gone for his favorite katsudon, while Sayori chose some ramen to warm herself further. Daisuke came back every once in a while to check on them, cleaning up the tables left by other customers and taking orders when the worker at the counter left to help in the kitchen. Sayori felt at peace with the world. This is what she wanted—to have things feel like how they used to be, when she and Akihiro were simply enjoying life and each other's company, the time before she had given voice to her feelings for him and unwittingly unleashed the bleaker side of her emotions and thoughts. As long as she could do her part in bringing things back to the way they were, nothing could go wrong.
As the evening wore on, less people entered the diner to eat, so Daisuke finally had some time to sit down with them when they were almost done eating. "You okay, man?" Akihiro asked him as he sat down. "You've been working pretty hard."
Daisuke laughed. "It's fine. I don't mind the extra work as long as the diner gets customers. Cold seasons always help us with that. So, how's the food?"
"Delicious, as usual," said Akihiro. "If my place was close by, I wouldn't mind eating dinner every night here."
"Thanks, man," said Daisuke. "If only I can get Mom to cook for the festival, maybe the diner will get more mileage and exposure."
"You should definitely try that sometime!" said Sayori. "I'll tell my classmates about the place too. It'll be good to have another nice venue to eat at after school."
"I'm really stoked to hear that, thanks," said Daisuke, grinning.
The three of them spent the next few minutes talking, with Sayori and Akihiro wrapping up their dinner while Daisuke kept them company. He and Akihiro got along very well, Sayori observed, judging from their banter and some of their similar interests in gaming. Nevertheless, she also got to join the dialogue as Akihiro often directed a question to her. Sayori knew that this was his way of making sure that she wasn't left out, and she appreciated it immensely.
Soon, their conversation shifted to the festival. "What are your plans?" Daisuke asked them. "I've been kept a bit busy myself. Some of my friends are asking me to draw up some designs for the booths they'll be running."
"Well, there's that scavenger hunt I've been helping put together with my classmates," said Akihiro.
"Wait, really?" said Sayori, startled. "You're actually planning a scavenger hunt?"
"Yeah, and not just watching from the back like I did in previous festivals," said Akihiro with a laugh. "I pitched the idea to my classmates about having it RPG-themed to make it a lot more immersive. Dungeon Delvers was our chosen theme, and I'm actually making notes about everything for it."
"That's pretty cool," said Daisuke, nodding approvingly. "I know a few of my classmates who'd like to see that happen."
"That does sound amazing, Akihiro," said Sayori, beaming. "No one knows that dungeon game better than you do, so I know you're giving a lot of effort in making sure that it'll be the perfect theme for your scavenger hunt. I'm sure it'll be a success!"
Akihiro blushed. "Jeez, Sayori, you're making it sound like I'm on my way to discovering how to create world peace."
"I'm just proud of you for b-being more productive, okay?" Sayori shot back, pouting.
Daisuke eyed the two of them for a moment, a sad smile crossing his face. "I'm kinda jealous of you two right now, I'll admit," he said. "I wish Natsuki and I had more time to go out on dates and stuff."
"Ah, how is she, by the way?" asked Sayori.
Daisuke and Akihiro glanced at each other. The warmth from their previous conversation seemed to hit an unseen snag. For a moment, Sayori slightly glimpsed some sadness flit across Daisuke's face.
"She's . . . she's just been going through a lot," he replied. "O-Oh, don't get me wrong, we're not fighting or something like that. She just has a lot to handle right now. . ."
"Oh, I hope she's okay," said Sayori concernedly.
"Yeah, me too." Daisuke ran a hand through his wavy blonde hair. "I was thinking of helping her lighten up by having her join us all at the festival—get her to join the fun and all, anything to keep her mind off of her problems. She told me that she never attended any of the past school festivals because she was always alone, so I want her to feel happy in this one. Mom told me it's a good idea to try and convince her, but knowing Natsuki, it'll take some real convincing."
"Is she willing to listen, though?" asked Akihiro.
"Thankfully, she is." Daisuke punctuated his subdued tone with a small laugh. "She does get mad at me sometimes for bugging her about it, but she listens nonetheless."
"Natsuki does get a little too serious sometimes," said Sayori, reminiscing about her sophomore year with the stern pink-haired girl. "When I was classmates with her, I always thought she was a bit cranky at first, but she's actually pretty nice. She might get mad, but at least she knows that you care about her, right?"
"Exactly," said Daisuke, smiling. "I understand why she gets mad, but . . . I can't help it. If I know she needs someone to help her—and I'm sure she does—I wanna do everything I can to give her that. But knowing when the right time is, that's the toughest part. You wanna just do everything you can to help a person, but you don't know whether your help's coming at a good time or not. Sometimes, you just feel like . . . like you're messing even more things up, and somehow that feels even worse than just standing by and doing nothing."
From the way Daisuke was speaking, the heaviness in his voice becoming rather evident, Sayori could not help but feel that Natsuki's problems were a lot more serious than she was guessing. Even Akihiro, who was listening in silence, seemed to feel the heaviness behind Daisuke's words. Though she had no idea what exactly Natsuki was going through, however, Sayori could at least get what Daisuke was saying. To care for someone like how she cared for Akihiro, and how Daisuke seemed to care about Natsuki, it was always difficult to think of the right thing to do and how to go about it. The voices in her head echoed the futility of such sentiments at her worst moments, where Sayori felt that she was causing more harm than good in trying to make things right. Still, that wasn't to say there would only be bad days ahead; Sayori felt like she was truly getting back on track now, and she knew that it would be the same for Natsuki and Daisuke.
"Maybe it's time we all took another breather," said Akihiro. "If we can, we should all go out sometime and make that next get-together we have in the works happen. I know that the idea kinda got put on hold due to a lot of stuff, but with schoolwork being more relaxed nowadays, I think we can push through with it. We'll just need to find a good day and—"
"What about Monika, though?" asked Sayori as she tugged at Akihiro's sleeve. "She's a little busy these days with her club. She might not be able to come along."
"And Kenta, what with the recent mess that happened. . ." Daisuke added.
"Wait, Kenta?" Sayori frowned. "What happened with Kenta?"
"Oh, you haven't heard yet?" said Daisuke, looking at Akihiro.
"Kenta got into a fight a couple of days ago," said Akihiro. "Don't worry, he's alright, he just . . . he's taking some time getting back into his groove."
For a moment, Sayori wondered why Monika had not bothered to tell her about all this, but then she remembered that she was busy with the debate club's practices. She began to feel rather regretful that she was missing out on a lot of news while she was living in relative solitude.
"W-Was Kenta punished for the fight? Suspended, maybe?" she asked.
"There's no news of that yet," said Daisuke, "though I'm wagering that his academic standing will take a bit of a hit regardless. Still, he feels that the fight's his fault for hitting first. I know where he's coming from—he's turned over a new leaf compared to when he was in middle school, I'll vouch for that. Back in middle school, he used to get in fights all the time, and he even got suspended a couple of times for it. This time, he's doing better, but there are just some idiots who won't leave him alone for some reason. Anyway, after the incident, he told us to leave him be for a while." He sighed. "It isn't quite the same without him around."
"I hope Monika didn't get mad at him for what happened," Sayori muttered forlornly.
"Kenta told us that she was disappointed at first, but then she let it go," said Akihiro. "I guess that's another reason why he needed some time to reflect on things. It hurts to go through these kinds of things with people being disappointed in you."
Sayori sighed. It seemed profound that she would be able to sympathize with a person like Kenta, who was vastly different from her in terms of attitude and outlook. After all, she knew how it felt to distance oneself from others for the sake of righting a certain wrong, and how small you would feel if you disappointed your special someone. Such was one of life's many truths; that you would have more in common with a certain person than you would initially expect.
They left the diner at around seven. Daisuke saw them off with a word of thanks for their company and patronage. As Sayori watched him and Akihiro exchange some final pleasantries, she felt happy and relieved that Akihiro had managed to make some good friends in Daisuke, Kenta and Naoki, and that he had been in good hands while she wasn't by his side. It comforted her to know that, should her emotions experience another decline, Akihiro would not be lonely at least. Moreover, she knew that Akihiro's companionship and guidance would help tremendously in problems like what Daisuke and Kenta were facing.
As the two of them entered the street leading to the neighborhood where they lived, Sayori began to feel wistful as she knew that the evening was drawing to a close for them. Just like with every moment that she spent with Akihiro, she did not want this evening to end. It did not matter that there were other days for them to bond and go out; in the present, at least, she would always be happy, and the threat of another decline would just be a distant thought that can be shrugged off.
Lost in these thoughts, she drew in close to Akihiro and wrapped both of her arms around him, nuzzling her head against his side. Though he was initially surprised by this, Akihiro braced his arm around her in response, drawing her in even closer. Their pace slowed down gradually until they stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, absorbed in each other's embrace. Not many people were around at the time, leaving the two of them to bask in a silent bliss that needed no words.
When she broke away from him, she looked straight into his pale green eyes. She gave him a small smile as she held her hand up to trace her fingers across his cheek gently. Akihiro twitched a little, mumbling, "H-Hey, that tickles."
Sayori giggled softly, her fingers stopping to cup Akihiro's cheek instead. "Sorry about that," she whispered. "I just . . ."
But she found her words failing her as she stared deeper into Akihiro's eyes. Slowly, she began to realize how loud her heartbeat was against her chest. Akihiro, on the other hand, reached up to touch her hand on his face, tenderly caressing her fingers. Feeling her own face turning red, Sayori began to shrink away, but Akihiro drew her even closer to him, so much so that she could feel the warmth of his breath. Sayori swallowed nervously. They had never been this close before, not even when the two of them slept together on Akihiro's bed during that blissful, bittersweet weekend when she bared her feelings to him. Sayori drank her fill of Akihiro's image, taking in every little detail of the face that was so familiar and dear to her. Akihiro did the same, his eyes tinged with so much emotion—a hint of longing, a good measure of joy, and some determination all rolled into one.
When their faces were only mere inches apart, the two of them stopped. Sayori did not know what caused her to stop; only that she did so involuntarily. Her hesitation made her realize that she could hear whispers of doubt at the back of her mind. In a fleeting moment, she glimpsed some uncertainty in Akihiro's gaze as well, and she thought that she knew what he was thinking.
"W-We should get going," she stammered silently, completely drawing away from him. Meanwhile, as if a spell upon him had been broken, Akihiro stood up straighter.
"Yeah, we should," was all he managed to mumble.
When the two of them made it back to her place, Sayori felt her melancholy grow. She knew what would follow—Akihiro would say goodbye and go back to his apartment and his life, and she would be left to wonder when she would be able to see him again. Sayori still felt determined and optimistic enough to do what she can to always be happy, but she was also familiar with how quickly that can all change.
Opening the door to her apartment, Sayori turned back to Akihiro. She took off his blazer and returned it to him. "Thank you f-for tonight, Akihiro," she said. "It felt good to go out with you again."
"You're welcome, Sayori," replied Akihiro as he put his blazer back on. His smile seemed wistful in her eyes. "I hope we can go out again sometime."
"I hope so too." Sayori smiled back, her own sadness coloring the expression. "I'll make sure to bring a jacket next time."
"Me too," said Akihiro, laughing. He walked forward and embraced her so tightly that he almost picked her off the floor. Again, Sayori felt that sense of incredible longing, and as she pressed her head against Akihiro's chest, she sensed that Akihiro felt so too, just as she imagined feeling his heartbeat through him.
"I have to go," Akihiro whispered in her ear. "I'll see you around, okay?"
"Sure. T-Take care," she whispered back.
When Akihiro had left, Sayori sat down on her bed in silence, mulling over the myriad of emotions that the evening had brought. It had admittedly been a mixed experience, with some lows sobering the blissful highs that Akihiro brought, but Sayori was fine with all of it. As long as she got to be with him, it was well worth it.
She stared down at her hands, remembering the feel of Akihiro's face beneath her fingertips and how close the two of them had been. She remembered how he seemed to just close in on her, his eyes sparkling in the evening air and his breath misting in front of her. Remembering how she had hesitated, she felt rather regretful that she had unwittingly chosen not to let the moment run its course then. Still, it could not be helped. She chased away the whispers in her mind, knowing that perhaps next time she would decide differently.