Chapter 43

She was gone.

Guy couldn't believe it. When he had been summoned to the Hokage's office he had expected another mission. Instead, he came face to face with a reality he hadn't thought possible.

"T-this is…" he said in a whisper, hand reaching out to touch a strand of the black hair on the desk.

Tsunade closed her eyes and steadied her breathing. She was a medic. Delivering bad news was something she was used to. But even she wasn't sure how to handle this situation. There was still so much they didn't know. Her fingers laced together in front of her mouth as she replied, "Yes, I'm afraid so."

Shizune spoke up softly, "Kakashi should be on his way here as well."

His eyes snapped open in shock. A cold terror creeping into his bones.

Kakashi.

There would be no hiding this from him.

Guy lowered his head, his fists clenched at his sides. His nails bit into his skin, nearly drawing blood in his palms. He had known Kakashi for years and yet he couldn't imagine what would happen when Kakashi arrived and heard the news.

Break into tears? No.

Scream? Definitely not.

Surprisingly, the one thing Guy was worried about most was Kakashi withdrawing into himself. Himself and others had spent literal years coaxing Kakashi out of his shell. They had managed to pry it open and yet Kakashi was stubborn and refused to come out. It wasn't until Keiko came alone did the recluse bother to poke his head out willingly.

Kakashi had lost so much. He didn't deserve this.

"What happened?"

A bolt of lightning shot through his system. His heart beat erratically in his ears. The forced and strained voice was like nails on a chalkboard to his ears. He turned stiffly to the side to face him, though he couldn't meet his rival's gaze. "I'm sorry."

The tension in the room was palpable as Tsunade finally spoke, "Kakashi, come in."

While Guy took a step away from the desk he couldn't help but analyze every move Kakashi made. From the stiffness of his steps to the microscopic trembling of his hands. They stood side by side to one another and Guy had to resist with every fiber of his being not to offer some kind of support to his rival. But, they were not alone, and even he knew what kind of audience they had.

Tsunade reached out her hand to touch the pendant. "This was attached to a messenger bird, we received it this morning." Her eyes snapped up to meet Kakashi's gaze but the man was too preoccupied looking at the long dark tresses. His eyes were cold. It was a look she had seen before and she instantly regretted bringing Kakashi into all of this, but there was no avoiding it. She continued, "The bird was unmarked but based on the species we can assume it originated from the Land of Iron. Where Keiko and her team were recently sent on a mission."

Her eyes narrowed at the way Kakashi and Guy both stiffened. So, they didn't know where her most recent mission had taken her. Before she could speak again a gruff voice cut in.

"With no note, there is much to be interpreted by this."

All eyes turned to the bandaged man standing off to the side. Danzo.

He continued, "The severing of hair can symbolize many things. It is a shame, but we have to face the overwhelming possibility that she has defected back to the Land of Iron."

Deafening silence fell over the room as the weight and severity of his words sank in.

When no one made a move to answer, Homura continued, "In moments like these we have to think in the village's best interest. Sending a squad of Anbu to deal with the situation would clean up any mess this has caused."

The meaning was not lost on any of them. Anbu, to either confirm or ensure her death.

Shizune's gaze looked pained, wanting to speak but holding herself back. Genma stood at her side, his jaw flexing as his teeth ground on the senbon hanging from his mouth. Guy's heart was beating erratically. Eyes wide and mind too cluttered with shock and disbelief to even speak.

Keiko, a missing nin? A rogue? No, he couldn't believe it. There was no way. His eyes snapped over to Kakashi in concern. His hands were no longer trembling. They were steady. His single dark eye still trained dangerously on the hair on the desk as if it were mocking him.

A sudden hiss escaped Tsunade, her fist hitting against the desk and the wood strained against the force. Honey eyes flashed dangerously at the three, "Have you forgotten that there are two Chunin missing as well? We cannot just assume that Keiko has gone rogue when there is no evidence."

"On the contrary," Koharu interjected, "this mission gave her the perfect opportunity to return to her homeland. She has spent most of her life here and now, especially having gained the rank of Jonin, she has information on our village that cannot fall into enemy hands."

"We warned you against sending Keiko on such a delicate mission for this exact reason." Danzo added. "It would seem that the trusting nature of the Third has rubbed off on you. Now, we are left to clean up the mess."

Anger that had been slowly building had now reached it's boiling point. The shock now subsided and was replaced with cool fury as Guy stood straighter and looked at his superiors. His gaze unwavering, "You're wrong."

Homura's eyes were challenging, "Wrong?" He questioned.

Guy continued, a cold edge to his voice, "It's clear to see that none of you have ever spent any time with Keiko or even bothered paying attention. Her loyalty has never faltered, not even once. She would rather be put to death than turn against this village." His gaze returned to the desk where the familiar hair lay, "I can also say with certainty that she would never cut her hair. Not willingly." While it was reassuring in a way to hear them speak as if Keiko were still alive, he knew that Keiko could be extremely vain about her hair. There had to be more to this than was being presented.

"That's precisely why I've called the two of you here." Tsunade stated. "Other than a certain missing school teacher, you two have known her the longest. Worked with her closely. I was hoping that you could shed some light on the situation, at least in some capacity." She cast a harsh glance toward the council for a brief moment. "Before any rash decisions are made." Her eyes returned to an eerily quiet Jonin, "Kakashi, you have yet to say anything."

A few in the room waited on baited breath to hear him speak. Instead of speaking right away he stepped closer to the desk almost robotically and took out a kunai knife. In movements that were clearly forced and calculated he cut his thumb and formed the necessary seals. In a puff of smoke, Pakkun appeared on the desk. The pug was about to greet his boss as usual when he noticed the audience they had. He cast his gaze from side to side, "What can I do ya for, boss?"

For the first time since entering the room, Kakashi spoke. His voice was cool, calculating and void of any emotion, "This hair, what can you tell us about it."

Pakkun huffed, not in irritation or annoyance, but in cynical curiosity. His eyes flashed in recognition at the pendant but he carried out his summoner's command with ease. After several long moments he sat back on his haunches, casting a look up toward Kakashi whose hands were now buried in his pockets. "I take it Keiko got caught up in some nasty trouble. Other than her scent and a whiff of pine, it reeks of blood."

"Her blood?" Guy asked, a hint of concern entering his voice.

The pug nodded, "Yeah. Hair is good at locking in scents, but just based on this there had to be a lot of it." Knowing Kakashi all too well and the possibilities this presented, the pug grunted, "I take it that's not what you wanted to hear."

Kakashi shook his head slightly, "That's enough for now, Pakkun. I'm sure I will be calling on you again in the near future."

Pakkun nodded, casting one last worried glance toward the dark tresses before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Just what was that supposed to accomplish?" Homura questioned.

"Keiko didn't go rogue," Kakashi started with a certainty none of them could question. "Guy is right, Keiko would never cut her hair willingly. She always took immaculate care of it. With the stench of her blood soaked into it, that solidifies that she was not the one to send this message."

"There was no message." Genma stated softly under his breath.

"Not a message with words." Kakashi agreed. "We're left to decipher it's meaning but someone else sent this. They must have been attacked by someone."

Guy spoke up then, a sudden thought crossing his mind, "Could it be that this was a deliberate attack by the Land of Iron? How the council feels now could certainly be how they feel as well. Perhaps they think Keiko could be a liability to their own secrets." Of course, he knew Keiko never spoke in great detail about the Land of Iron but there was no way for her homeland to know that.

"Whatever the case, she's most likely dead." Kakashi stated, shocking everyone.

Guy could feel himself break out into a cold sweat, goosebumps raising on his skin. How could Kakashi say that so easily?

A gruff and thoughtful voice broke through the stupor in Guy's mind, "If that is the case then it saves us a lot of trouble. I still insist that we send out an Anbu unit to ensure the cleanup."

Rarely was Konoha's Blue Beast rendered as speechless as he was in that instant. He could admit to being slow at times, but speechless, unable to form a coherent sentence or even act? That was rare. His eyes were wild, outraged by the sheer amount of disrespect Danzo had just displayed. If Kakashi was too withdrawn then he would feel this for the both of them. "How dare you." He said slowly, turning to face Danzo now. As he continued, his voice steadily grew louder, revealing the rage hidden there. "If this was the Land of Iron, how could you so easily sweep this under the rug? If this had been a team led by any other Jonin this would be seen as an act of war! Keiko has put her life on the line to defend this village and its people and you would so easily write off her death? She's as much a part of this village as any of us!"

He was nearly screaming now and would have continued had it not been for Tsunade, "Guy! That's enough."

Guy bit back his words, unable to hide the seething anger on his face. He stood straighter and bowed his head stiffly, "My apologies, Lady Hokage."

Tsunade sighed heavily, rubbing her temple in deep thought before speaking, "Currently, we have three Shinobi either missing or killed in action. If this were any other nation I would send another group out after them immediately, but this is a delicate situation with a normally neutral country. Genma, send a message to the Land of Iron. See if they know anything and be sure to mark it urgent. If they are unaware of this situation and we go marching in this could turn even more messy. Everyone else, leave. I need to speak to Guy and Kakashi privately."

Faint footsteps echoed around the room and it wasn't until Danzo broached the doorway that she said loudly, "I expect there to be no action taken until I give the word."

The old man looked over his shoulder toward her. "As you wish."

The door clicked shut and she turned her attention to the two Jonin before her. She could see the flexing in Guy's jaw as he worked to calm himself down, while Kakashi looked to be in another place entirely.

"When do we leave?" Kakashi suddenly asked.

"We don't. Not yet." Tsunade stated openly.

Guy lurched forward, "Lady Tsunade, we can't just sit here!"

Kakashi's eye narrowed, "Guy is right. We can't stand by and do nothing."

"I understand how you both feel. Believe me, I do, but we have to play this carefully. If Keiko really wanted to defect, why bother sending this?" She gestured to the pool of black on her desk. "She could have easily defected without the theatrics. We run into the same question if they were attacked by Samurai, why send back her hair? And, if this were a third party, the same question still stands. Why send this back? It all makes very little sense. So, until we can learn a little more information, we wait. Got it?"

Guy was sputtering, "B-But, what if they're in danger?! We can't just leave them to suffer!"

He stilled when she held up her hand, her eyes remorseful, "While I certainly would like to think that we can get them back, I won't sugar coat it. The odds of them all being dead are more likely than not… So, I think you can trust your first instincts."

His breath caught, throat constricting as he tried to form words. "No! I-I won't believe that until I see a body with my own eyes."

Tsunade nodded in understanding before turning her attention back to Kakashi, "Kakashi, your silence is far from comforting. I know what you and Keiko had was more than just friendship."

Both Guy and Tsunade watched him wearily. Neither of them could deny that it felt as though they were in a room with an explosive that could go off at any moment. It felt like minutes passed before he responded, "I've been behind enemy lines before, allow me to go on ahead and report back what I find."

The Hokage had to bite back her groan and instead narrowed her eyes. "I will not permit you to leave this village without a proper team. If I allow any more than the allowed number of Shinobi passed the border and you're discovered, that could spell trouble on an international scale. What we had was a delicate situation but this has turned it fragile and I will not have you jeopardizing this. You are to be ready to go at a moment's notice. As soon as I can send a team, the two of you will be departing to investigate. I'll have Shizune scout out who your third member will be. In the meantime, I have a task for both of you."

"What would that be?" Kakashi asked evenly.

"I wouldn't put it past Danzo to jump the gun." She said easily. "I know Keiko's father is in the village, best to keep an eye on him for the time being. If Danzo wants to classify Keiko as a missing nin then we can't rule out the possibility of him being targeted."

Guy nodded, thinking of Musashi and how he would take the news. "Yes, Lady Hokage."

~0~

His body ached, shoulders rising and falling with each labored breath as he surveyed the damage. The training field was now in ruins around him. Trees broken or smoldering and the earth upturned and scarred around him.

As soon as he could shake Guy off of him, he came here. He knew that his rival was only trying to help by offering his support and encouraging words but if he were honest there wasn't anything that could truly help him right now. It took everything he had not to go ballistic in front of Tsunade and the others. Truthfully, he could hardly focus on the conversation that occurred. His mind had been too preoccupied. Trying to convince himself that it couldn't really be happening. But, the severed strands of hair told a story all their own and it contradicted anything he could conjure up in his head.

She was gone, and he could do nothing about it. He should have been there. He should be there now. Tsunade said for him to be ready to leave on a pursuit mission but waiting was torture. He would have left right then and there, with or without her permission but there were several factors stopping him. First, Tsunade was right that they needed more information, he could be running into a potentially deadly situation. That wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the second and most important factor.

Keiko and her team were most likely dead.

His mind was full of memories. How she would run her hands through her hair, admiring it. How she had blatantly told him that she would never cut it. Her hair was precious to her and anyone who bothered to know her was aware of it. For her to willingly cut it so haphazardly… that just wasn't a possibility.

A sudden picture entered his mind's eye. Unknown hands gripping at those long locks, pulling them taunt to sever them. Leaving behind a slowly cooling corpse.

Rage once again flashed through his system. An animalistic growl passed his lips and he threw a kunai to the side, embedding it deeply into the already damaged post. For hours he tried to push away the fear, the regret, the mourning and focus on the anger. The anger at Tsunade for sending her on the mission. The outrage at the council for wanting to wipe their hands of it all. The rage at those who did this. The utter contempt toward himself for not being there.

Those feelings were much easier to handle than what was sure to come.

One of the bad things about prolonged anger, it takes energy. And he was running low.

His mind was in a haze as he walked through the village. Thoughts were few and far between as he did his best to not think. If he allowed too many thoughts to enter his mind at once he wasn't sure what would happen. Instead he grasped desperately onto that fading anger. For a brief moment he wondered if Guy had found Musashi, and was thankful that he wouldn't be there to deliver the news. It would only make it feel more real.

Unthinking, his feet carried him forward, not caring where he ended up. Through the muddled state of his mind he didn't realize where he was going until he was there.

Keiko's apartment.

Why? Why did he come here? Did he enjoy making himself suffer?

Even as he was asking himself the question, he reached for the spare key and opened the door. His body went into autopilot as he stepped in, flipped on the lights, and took off his shoes. As if any of it mattered.

His eye glanced over the apartment, taking in every detail. The rinsed dishes in the sink that waited to be washed. The book on the coffee table with a marker that begged to be finished. So many small things that screamed unfinished. There was no way she could be gone. She had to come back. This place wouldn't be the same without her.

Memories that had once been warm and wonderful turned cold and bitter sweet. How many times had they stood in that kitchen together, chatting about their day? How many nights had they curled up on the couch to read, content in each other's presence? Everywhere his eyes landed there was a reminder. A reminder of what was and what would never be again.

That last remnant of anger now gone, he faltered. A pain like none he had ever felt ripping through him as he gripped the counter for support. This was what he hadn't wanted to feel. He didn't want to feel as though his very soul had been ripped to shreds. If he were honest with himself, he had felt it the moment he had stepped inside Tsunade's office. The only difference now was that the adrenaline had worn off, and that there was no one to see him fall apart.

When he gripped the counter his hand brushed against a slip of paper causing it to crumple slightly. His eyes flickered to it and he could feel his heart beating erratically within his chest. His hand trembled slightly as he lifted it up to read it, nearly knocking over the cup that held it in place.

'Kakashi, if you stop by I got some of that hojicha tea you like! Feel free to take some with you and I'll pick up more later~ XOXO
P.S. - I'll be back soon.'

An unfamiliar tightness constricted upon his throat. His hands shook uncontrollably and he tightened his grip to try and stop it, but he only succeeded in crumpling the paper further. He blinked again and again in a vain attempt to keep his vision clear.

Her voice rang in his mind as he read that line again and again, 'I'll be back soon.'

Of course, she had meant for those words to be comforting. She would never have any idea how much they helped to twist the knife in his chest. How much agony they sent through his system, those words echoing again and again in his mind like a taunt. The anger flared up in one last magnificent wave.

A sudden agonizing shout escaped him and he threw the cup against the wall, watching as it shattered on impact.

Much like the cup, his anger shattered to pieces. A silent inaudible cry escaped his lips as he tried in vain to stop the tears from falling.

He spent that night in her apartment surrounded by the memory of her. Everything that had been and never would be. Kakashi wasn't sure why he insisted on torturing himself like this. Why, when it came time to rest, he slipped into her bed. Rest eluded him. Instead, his hands gripped at the sheets as if trying to find her there beside him. His lips mumbling her name over and over again like a feeble incantation. Every moment that passed threw him further and further into the darkness of despair. He would allow himself this one night of weakness.

There were a few things that he was absolutely certain of. First, that he would find her, alive or dead, it didn't matter. And, second, whoever took her away from him would wish for a swift and painful death before the end.

Sorry for the long wait on this. I've been struggling with some pretty severe back pain that's making it incredibly hard to write. I couldn't write much more than a few hundred words at a time before stopping. So, it this chapter feels disjointed, I apologize. I wanted this chapter to be longer but I really want to get something out there. Thank you to everyone who reviews, you really help to keep me motivated even through the pain.

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Posted - 1/27/2022