It was Christmas Eve in Gotham City, and everyone was in the Christmas spirit, even the inmates at Arkham Asylum. The inmates were decorating the asylum, and a small group was singing Jingle Bells as they read the music sheets.
"Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Jingle all the way! Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh! Hey!"
"Jingle bells! Batman smells! Robin laid an egg!" Joker sang as he broke away from the inmate carolers. He goes over to the Christmas tree and is handed a topper by an inmate, "Dear Scarlet Witch let out a squeal. The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got a-wa-a-a-ay!"
He climbs up the latter leading to the top of the tree. When the Joker places the topper on the tree, the base erupts, revealing that the tree is a rocket. The Joker hops on the tree and sings as the tree blasts through the roof of Arkham.
"Crashing through the roof, in a one-horse open tree. Busting out I go, laughing all the wheeeee! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!"
At Wayne Manor, Batman, Scarlet Witch, and Robin were on their way down to the Batcave in the elevator.
"Come on, Batman, Scarlet Witch, it's Christmas Eve. Let's kick back and get into the spirit," Robin pleased with the heroes.
"The Joker's escaped from Arkham Asylum, Robin," Batman reminded him.
"And you really think he's gonna make his move on Christmas Eve?" He questioned as he and the two other heroes left the elevator and walked to the Batmobile, "Even scum spend the holidays with their families."
"He has no family," Batman counters.
"And the Joker doesn't care what day of the year it is," Scarlet Witch added, "He only cares to spread fear and misery through his sick and twisted sense of humor. But we should enjoy Christmas without the cape and cowl, Batman."
"See, even Scarlet Witch knows how to celebrate the holidays. Okay, I'll make a deal with you two. If we go out on patrol, and Gotham is quiet, with no sign of the Joker, we come back here, have Christmas dinner, and watch 'It's A Wonderful Life," Robin offers as he hopped into the back of the Batmobile.
Scarlet Witch and Batman get into the passenger and driver's seats.
"You know, I've never seen that," Batman admitted, "I could never get past the title."
"Really?" Scarlet Witch questioned with a raised brow, "It's a Christmas classic. I've seen it every year around this time."
"It's a deal then?" Robin said, hoping that Batman accepts his offer.
"Deal," Batman responded.
Batman revies the engine before driving through the tunnels in the Batcave before exiting it to patrol the streets of Gotham.
The streets of Gotham were quiet and filled with joy. A street performer plays Christmas songs on his saxophone, and a passerby drops some money into the performer's hat on the street. People wandered through the snowy streets, and some were going into businesses that were still open till later doing some shopping. Ice skaters on the rink gliding gracefully on the ice and jolly old men dressed as Santa on the street corners.
"Doesn't it warm your heart to see everyone in the spirit of Christmas?" Robin asked Batman.
Batman doesn't say anything. He grabs a grappling line from his utility belt and swings to the rooftop across.
"Oh, "Bah humbug" to you too!..." Robin grumbled, swinging behind his mentor with Scarlet Witch levitating next to him, "You just can't believe there's no use for us for one night!"
From the rooftop, the three heroes spot an elderly upper-class woman carrying a wrapped Christmas present walking on the empty street. A mysterious younger man runs up to her from behind.
"There!" Batman points out the possible crime. He swings from the rooftop, prepared to stop the crime, but things are not as they appear to be.
"Hey lady, hold up!" The man called, announcing himself. Batman ducks into the alley and observes. The elderly woman turns around to the man and sees he's carrying a wrapped present, "You dropped this package a couple of blocks back!"
"Oh; It's for my grandson! Thanks so much!" The woman smiles, taking the package before she kisses the man on the cheek, "Merry Christmas!"
The man and the elderly woman then go their separate ways. Scarlet Witch smiles at the interaction as she and Robin join Batman in the alley.
"Now, can we go home?" Robin asked. Batman leaves silently by swinging away, again. Robin mutters, "He could give lessons to Scrooge!"
"My brother has always had a mindset that crime never takes a break, even on Christmas," Scarlet Witch told him, "But, perhaps this year will be different."
At Wayne Manor, Bruce, Grace, and Dick sit at the dining table to have a Christmas Eve dinner.
"The Christmas goose will be ready shortly," Alfred announced.
"Y'know, we really should have done one more sweep of the city," Bruce pressed.
"Bruce, It's Christmas Eve," Grace reminded her brother, "If there is a problem, the Batcomputer or Alder will alert us. For now, let's enjoy the holidays."
"Yeah, Bruce," Dick agrees, "Just relax. You're gonna love 'It's A Wonderful Life; it's a great movie."
"It's not relentlessly cheerful, is it?" Bruce asked.
"No, it's about how much of a difference one man can make to a city. Sound familiar?" Dick smirks at Bruce.
The three left the dining room and went to the theater room. They sat down on some cushioned chairs before Dick turns on the tv. But instead of "It's a Wonderful Life", it was an in-color camera scene of a neatly decorated Christmas tree with toys and wrapped gifts at the base. The camera then shifts views to a fireplace with a shadowed figure standing beside it.
"Aahh...wrong channel...some kind of Christmas Special..." Dick attempts to change the channel, but no matter what the channels were only playing the same thing.
The camera pans up at the figure by the fireplace.
"It's a Wonderful Life" will not be seen this year. In its place is the following..." The narrator turns to face the camera, revealing himself to be the Joker, wearing a dark green turtle neck and a red button-up sweater over it, "Joker here! Greetings Gotham and Merry Christmas! I hope you're watching, Batman and Scarlet Witch, this one's for you...Ha Ha Ha Ha - HA HA HA HA HA!"
The scene on the tv changes to live footage of a Santa half popping out of a chimney on top of a tank. The tank is in downtown Gotham and the citizens run out of the tank's way to avoid being crushed by it. Some even abandon their cars that were in the tank's way.
"Live from Gotham City! The show that nobody wants to see, but everyone will watch!"
The tank stops in the middle of the street before the Santa topper blasts off into the sky. The Santa topper explodes into a burst of fireworks shaped in the Joker's likeness.
"Yes, it's 'Christmas With The Joker'!" The scene switches to a humble home as a sled pulled by a reindeer statue on wheels carrying the Joker comes into view, "And now, let's welcome our host, the clown prince of crime, The Joker! - Greetings from Gotham City! And welcome to the first annual "Christmas with the Joker"!"
An audiotape track of applause plays through the sound system as the camera pans over cardboard cutouts of people. The cutouts in the audience include Batman, Robin, Scarlet Witch, Gordon, Bullock, and even Mayor Hill.
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, very much! Have I got a show for you tonight. Is loaded with surprises and mystery guests and Christmas cheer."
Down in the Batcave, the three heroes watch the Joker's Christmas special on the Batcomputer to track him down.
"Well Batman, you were sure right about the Joker. Any leads?" Robin questioned.
"I've accessed Gotham's Electrical Main Frame, and I'm zeroing in on the power surges to pinpoint the location of Joker's broadcast signal," Batman types at his computer. A map of Gotham's electrical grid is scanned for any surges. A few seconds passed and a red dot appears on the screen, pinpointing the location of the surge, "That's it!"
"I"m not sure, Batman. Joker never gives his location away this easy. It could be a trap," Scarlet Witch voiced as she looked at the red light suspiciously.
"Scarlet Witch is right, Batman. It seems too easy," Robin said, supporting Scarlet Witch.
"It's never easy with the Joker," Batman responded.
The heroes wasted no more time and hopped into the Batmobile. Batman then puts the Christmas special on the screen in the Batmobile before taking off to find him.
"Oh, Batman!? Scarlet Witch!? I hope you're watching, cuz I have a very special surprise for you..." The Joker grins maniacally on the screen, "Rumor has it, Christmas is a time to share with family."
The sound system plays an audio track of cheering.
"And since I don't have one of my own..." The Joker said with a sad tone.
The system then plays a track of "Awwwws."
"I decided to steal one!" Joker finishes with a wicked grin, the system plays a track of applause.
"And here they are The Awful Lawful Family!" The background lights turn on to reveal Gordon, Summer, Alder, and Bullock wrapped like holiday gifts and gagged with candy canes, "Aren't they just the cutest family you've ever seen?"
"It's never easy with the Joker," Batman restates to Scarlet With and Robin.
"Meet Daddy Lawful!" Joker introduces Gordan before he takes the gag out of Gordon's mouth.
"You diseased maniac! I'll-" Gordan shouted, angrily before the gag back in his mouth. Muffling his angry shouts, "Mhmmphm!"
"Hmm. Looks like I'll have to teach Daddy some manners," Joker hums before moving on to Summer, "And here's Mommy Lawful!
After removing the gag from Summer, she pleads to the camera.
"Help! Somebody, please help us-mhmmphm!"
Her cries were muffled by the candy cane that was placed back into her mouth.
"Ho ho ho isn't she jolly. And here is Sissy Lawful," Joker moves onto Alder and removes the candy cane from her mouth.
"Let us out of here or else I'll shove that candy cane up yo-"
"Careful, Sissy," Joker berates her after putting the gag back in her mouth, "This is a family show."
"And here we have little Baby Lawful! Coochie coochie coo!" Joker pats Bullock's head and scratches under his chin like he was a baby. Bullock was dressed in a baby bonnet. Joker removes the gag from Bullock's mouth.
"When I get my hands on you I'll rip your-" Bullock began before the gag was quickly placed back in his mouth, "Mhmmphm!"
"My, my. Has Sissy been teaching Baby some colorful language? I'll bet Batman and Scarlet Witch wish they had a family just like mine. Personally, I think relatives are a bore, so Batman and Scarlet can have them if they can find them by midnight!" Joker points to a large, nearby clock. The clock revealed it was five minutes to six. The fake crowd gasped and murmured in shock," Otherwise..." Joker makes a slicing motion across his neck with his finger, "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!"
"Hold tight, we're almost there," Batman announced to Scarlet Witch and Robin.
Joker's hand dressed as an elf appears on the screen, "Hi! I'm Laffy. Joker's helper little elf. I'm here to present Batman and Scarlet Witch with a very special Christmas surprise!
"Uh-oh, here it comes..." Robin groans.
"Gee Joker, it's so nice of you to get bat-breath and lobster witch a present," Laffy said to Joker.
"Ho-ho! I'm just that kind of guy," Joker grinned. He then moves over to a miniature model of Gotham on the stage.
"It's an exact replica of Gotham City!" Laffy explained.
"It has everything, even train and bridges," Joker added, looking at the train moving on the tracks.
"Bridges? I just love blowing up bridges!" The hand puppet explained.
"Well, in that case, let's go live to Donner and Blitzen at the president's bridge," The Joker walks over to a tv showing live footage of his two henchmen wiring dynamite to the bridge, "Greetings Donner; how about singing us a merry tune while you blow up the bridge."
"Sure boss," Donner replied before he and Blitzen started singing Joker's version of Jingle Bells.
The two then finish wiring the bridge before running to take cover and watch the bridge explode.
"That was great!" Laffy exclaimed.
"The fun has just begun...the 11:30 train will be along any minute," Joker smiled.
Batman turns the Batmobile around and heads in the direction of the destroyed bridge.
"We've got to stop that train!" Robin urged.
Summer becomes anxious and starts mumbling with the candy cane in her mouth.
"Oh look Laffy, mommy Lawful has something to say," Joker said.
"What's up, mommy?" Laffy asked as Joker goes to Summer and takes her gag out.
"My mother's on that train!" Summer exclaimed, fearfully.
"Your mother? Well, that's different then!" Joker laughs as he puts the gag back.
"Yeah! It'll be more exciting when it crashes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Laffy joins Joker in laughing while Summer begins to cry.
Soon enough, the Batmobile is next to the train and Batman sets the Batmobile on autopilot.
"The two of you uncouple the passenger cars, I'll get the engineer," Batman told them.
The three heroes leap from the Batmobile and onto the moving train. While Batman rushed to the front of the train to talk to the engineer, Robin and Scarlet Witch went to work with their task. Robin detached the passenger cars and Scarlet Witch pulled the emergency brake.
Batman reached the front of the train and opens the side window.
"Bridge is out, come on!" Batman told the engineer. He pulls the engineer out and the two land safely on the snow.
The train goes over the bridge and plummets to the ground below before exploding. Everyone on the train was safe. Scarlet With and Robin caught up with Batman at the end of the bridge. Batman calls the Batmobile to their location and the three heroes hop in to continue their search for the Joker.
"Bah! Humbug! I hate Batman, Scarlet Witch, and Robin," Laffy grumbled.
"Then let's get rid of them," Joker widens his grin as he walks over to a box with a single red button on it. He pushes a button and destroys the cardboard audience of his show. Bits of the cardboard audience fall like snow.
"Oh boy, let's build a snowman!" Laffy suggested. Joker laughs in response.
Batman cuts the signal on the screen in the Batmobile before bringing up a grid map with a red dot on it.
"We've isolated the signal from Joker's broadcast. It's coming from the Observatory in Mount Gotham," Batman said.
The heroes drove up the mountain and soon arrived at the observatory. They spot a giant green wrapped present with a red ribbon and bow at the base of the antenna. There was also a tag on the front that said 'Do not open 'til Christmas.'
"There! The radar antenna," Batman notes.
The three heroes hopped out of the Batmobile and over to the giant gift.
"What's that?" Robin wondered.
"Careful, Robin," Scarlet Witch advised him, "There's always more than meets the eye when it comes to gifts from the Joker."
The present begins to shake before a giant Joker-On-The-Box, bearing the Joker's likeness, pops out and hangs creepily in front of the heroes.
"Merry Christmas, Batman and Scarlet Witch! I'm so glad you both could join us," Joker's voice greeted through the toy.
"What's your game, Joker?" Batman demanded.
"Oh, just a little holiday entertainment, Batman!" Joker replied, "I'm sure all the folks at home will enjoy sharing this special occasion. Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Live, from the top of Mount Gotham. The death of Batman and the Scarlet Witch!"
Behind them, the telescope from the observatory was replaced with a cannon and began shooting at Batman, Scarlet Witch, and Robin. The heroes run to avoid the shots fired from the cannon.
From his studio, the Joker smiles as he watches the live tv footage of the cannon firing at Batman and Scarlet Witch.
"When you care enough, to send a very blast! We'll return in just a moment, but first a word from our sponsor!" Joker winks menacingly at the camera.
The cannon continued to fire at Batman and Scarlet Witch and was not slowing down.
"Robin! Try and get inside the observatory. Scarlet Witch and I will draw its fire," Batman instructed.
While Robin rushed inside the observatory, Batman and Scarlet Witch led the cannon's fire over to the antenna. The cannon destroys the antenna and cuts makes the signal of the live feed fuzzy for the Joker's broadcast.
"Oops! Looks like we're experiencing technical difficulties..." Joker feigns concern over the television feed before going back to his usual maniacal smile, "But don't worry folks; we're still on the air."
Suddenly, the cannon begins to fire widely. The cannon took out a tree and a bridge. The fire from the cannon was getting closer to the city.
"Oh no! Our cannon seems to be out of control! Gotham City could be in serious danger!"
When Robin gets inside the observatory, he finds two rows of animatronic Joker with gun barrels for fingers and playing fits of laughter on a loop. The Jokers were covering the path to the cannon's controls. The Jokers open fire at Robin, but he evades the fire with his gymnastic training, and the Jokers end up destroying themselves. But one Joker is still standing and continues firing at Robin, forcing him to take cover.
Batman and Scarlet Witch take cover from the cannon's fire and hear Robin trying to communicate with them through their coms.
"Batman! Scarlet! Robin here!"
"Robin, Operation: Cause and Effect," Batman instructed.
"Gotcha!"
With the Joker still firing at Robin, he hurls a grenade at the control panel. The grenade explodes and destroys the control panel, cannon, and the final Joker.
Robin escapes the observatory and finds Batman and Scarlet around the corner.
"Batman? Scarlet Witch?"
"We're fine," Batman said, "But we're not any closer to finding Joker's hideout."
"What's our next move?" Scarlet Witch inquired.
"To be quite honest, I don't know," He reluctantly admits.
With no other leads, the heroes had no other choice but to drive around all of Gotham to find the Joker.
Robin lifts one of his green gloves and looks at his watch underneath, "Batman, Scarlet, it's almost midnight! We have to do something!"
"It's up to the Joker now. Only a miracle can save the hostages," Batman answered grimly.
Scarlet Witch turns the screen on to the Joker's Christmas special in hopes that they would find some sort of clue.
An angry cartoonish-looking character with small eyes, dressed in a suit and is the Joker's chin appears on the screen.
"Grrr...where's that bat fella?! And that Scarlet Witch and Robin, tho?" Mr. Angry face wondered, "UUhh they're gonna spoil my Christmas, what's the matta! Can't they figure anything out? Time's up, I'm robbin everybody out at midnight."
"But wait! We have another present to open!" Joker turns right side up. He removes the suit and Mr. Angry Face from his face, "Let's not keep mommy Lawful waiting!"
Donner picks up Summer and takes her to Joker before placing her in front of a big present by the Christmas tree.
"Too bad Batman is such a party-pooper, maybe he doesn't know how to get here!" Joker taunted, "ALL dressed up, with nowhere to go...Well, I wonder what mommy Lawful is getting for Christmas!?"
Summer, with her arms freed, opens the wrapped gift.
"Uh, hu hu hu! The suspense is killing me!" Joker squealed in delight, "Is it...?" He gasps "... Can it be...? OH YES!"
Summer holds up a doll with black hair, a red flapper dress, fishnet stockings, gold stud earrings, a beauty mark on its left cheek, and black-heeled shoes.
"It's a Betty Blooper doll! And what do Betty Blooper dolls do?" Joker takes the doll over to the model of Gotham and winds it up. The Joker lets the doll go, knocks over the miniature buildings, "Why, you just wind them up and they wreak havoc on Gotham City! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
"I haven't seen one of those dolls in years!" Robin voiced.
"They don't make dolls like that anymore," Batman said.
"Not since the Laffco Toy Factory went out of business 14 years ago," Scarlet Witch added.
Batman searches for the location of the abandoned factory, "The factory is on 3rd and main, Downtown."
The Batmobile arrives at the abandoned Laffco Factory with enough time to spare before midnight. The Batmobile bursts through the doors, the heroes hopped out to run further into the factory.
"Look sharp, everyone!" Batman stated, looking around the factory for any sign of the Joker.
On a catwalk in the shadows, Joker laughs maniacally before he goes into an office and puts on a record. Soon, the Nutcracker Suite is heard throughout the factory through the speakers.
"Where's that music coming from?" Robin questioned, looking for the source of the music.
"Good question..." Batman said.
The Joker keeps laughing as he pulls some levers and activates something in the factory. Soon, enormous toy soldiers with evil grins come alive as the music swells.
"Look out!" Batman warned as he, Robin, and Scarlet evaded the foot of one of the toy soliders' feet. The sharp point of its' bayonet followed.
"Adficio potentia!" Scarlet Witch cast a spell. Numerous beams of red energy shot from her hands. The beams wrap around the giant toy soldiers, destroying them.
"Stay ready! More on the way!" Batman warns as he spots toy planes coming out of a giant clown's mouth and coming right at them.
Batman picks up a wooden bat and instructs, "Stand clear!"
Batman swung the bat and demolished any incoming planes. Robin catches the remaining plane in a drum barrel.
"They don't call you Batman for nothing!" Robin joked.
The Joker's henchmen, Donner and Blitzen, start shooting at the three heroes.
"Snipers!" Batman exclaimed.
The heroes take evasive maneuvers to avoid the rapid-fire from the Joker's henchmen. Batman dodges the bullets before swinging onto the catwalk above. He hides behind a pile of giant teddy bears.
"Where'd he go?" Donna questioned.
The shape of Batman's dark cape appears, earning the henchmen's attention.
"There he is!" Blitzen exclaimed and they start shooting at the cape with their Tommy guns.
The two henchmen stood perplexed as nothing resulted from the figure they had just at repeatedly. Batman's cape comes off the giant teddy bear as it goes over the catwalk railing and onto the henchmen, traping them.
"I love you very much," The teddy bear said via an automated recording.
Batman retrieves his cape before joining Scarlet Witch and Robin on the ground.
"Keep your eyes open for the Joker," Batman told Scarlet Witch and Robin.
Batman retrieves his cape before joining Scarlet Witch and Robin on the ground.
"Keep your eyes open for the Joker," Batman told Scarlet Witch and Robin.
Large green curtains open, revealing the Joker and his hostages. Gordon, Alder, Bullock, and Summer were tied up and hanging over a boiling vat. The Joker is holding a pair of scissors in one hand to cut the rope and two presents stacked on top of each other in the other hand. The first present had dark blue wrapping paper with bats on it, and the second was pink with dark red symbols, matching the Scarlet Witch's headpiece.
"I'll save you two the trouble, Batman and Scarlet. Come and get your Christmas present, or the kiddies get it," The Joker enticed them.
With the lives of the hostages at stake, Batman and the Scarlet Witch approach the Joker.
"Let them go, Joker," Batman demanded.
"It's me and Batman, you want!" Scarlet Witch added.
"Merry Christmas, Batman! Scarlet Witch!" The Joker tosses the presents to Batman and Scarlet Witch. The heroes catch the gifts and look at them, "Well, come on...open it!"
"Don't do it, Batman! Scarlet Wich!" Robin pleaded.
"Easy, Robin," Batman said.
The two heroes off the ribbon and wrapping paper at the present's top before pulling back the flaps. The second the flaps were open, a spring-loaded cream pie smashes into Batman and Scarlet Witch's face.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha-" The Joker laughed, merrily, "I can't stand it..."
The two wiped the cream from their faces and rushed toward the Joker. The Joker quickly cuts the line. Scarlet Witch creates a platform for Batman, and he uses it to jump, catching the hostages before landing safely on the other side with them.
"Go get the Joker, Batman. Robin and I will stay here with the hostages," Scarlet Witch told Batman.
He nodded in response and went after the Joker. Batman had managed to catch the Joker, but the latter escaped by slithering out of an extra sweater over his other one.
"Run, run as fast as you can," The Joker runs up the stairs to a catwalk over the boiling vat, "You'll not catch me, I'm the Jokerman..."
The Joker runs into a rollerblade and almost falls to his death.
Batman hangs over the metal railing and catches the Joker by his ankle. He pranks the Joker by letting him fall a little before saying, "Merry Christmas, Joker."
"Bah! Humbug!" Joker grumbled.
In Wayne Manor, Bruce, Grace, Alfred, and Dick finish "It's a Wonderful Life."
"It was nice of Commissioner Gordon to give you that recording of "It's a Wonderful Life," Alfred commented.
"And it is a wonderful life," Dick smiled.
"It. . .has its moments," Bruce admitted.
"Merry Christmas, everyone," Grace said with a joyful smile on her face.