A/N: From this point onward, depression, self-harm and other sensitive issues might be shown, portrayed or discussed in this chapter and others to come. Reader discretion is advised for those who are sensitive to such matters.

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE – BARE (YuKi)

Naoki ran through the list one more time, checking to see if there were things that weren't in the shopping basket just yet. So far, he was assured that everything was accounted for—construction papers, two bottles of glue, a few decorative stickers, and two illustration boards, half-sized. Only paper cups, popsicle sticks, some poster paint and colored wires remained for him to find and put in the basket. Such constant vigilance seemed unnecessary, but he would rather have everything at hand for later instead of risking the inconvenience of forgetting something and delaying what they would be doing.

Yuri returned after a short while with the remaining items, clutching them all as best as she could in her arms. "Is this enough, Naoki?" she asked him.

After looking over the objects closely, Naoki gave her an approving nod. "Looks enough to me."

With that, Yuri deposited everything carefully in their basket. "I suppose we'll find the remaining things we need at my house, yes?"

"Sure looks like it," said Naoki, folding the list and stowing it away in his pocket. "Are you sure you want to do this tonight?"

"I-It would be a good start, right?" said Yuri, looking at him rather hesitantly. "At least we'll be able to finish up a good number of the products and c-cut ourselves some slack."

"I know," said Naoki, "it's just that . . . you might be caught off guard, that's all."

"Don't worry. I've informed my grandmother beforehand about it," Yuri explained, "and she was gracious enough to look for the things that we could use. I have them in my room already, s-so we can start working as soon as we get there."

"That's good," Naoki mused. "Remind me to thank your grandmother for giving us what spare materials she has."

"It's n-nothing," said Yuri with a shy smile. "Grandmother is always ready to help me when it comes to things about school."

"I'm sure she is," said Naoki, returning her smile.

The suggestion to start working on the homemade products they would be selling for the school festival had come all of a sudden from Yuri earlier that day at school. The festival itself was still more than two weeks away, and some of their other classmates were also assigned to help with the products, so they could always start late if they wanted. Of course, Naoki was also fine with starting early—it eased up their workload and gave them fewer things to tackle later on, he knew—but the fact that the suggestion had come from Yuri was rather surprising for him. Then again, if this was a byproduct of the gradual improvement of Yuri's mood after the few times she had bonded with Natsuki in his absence, Naoki had no problem with that. Thus far, his other worries about Yuri and self-harm had receded slightly, allowing him to go about without feeling as anxious as he did before.

The biggest hiccup of the week had come from Kenta's fierce scuffle—and, to Naoki's sadness, his three-day suspension. He had found out through Kenta himself, who temporarily broke his self-imposed exile from the quadrumvirate in the incident's aftermath long enough to break the news to Daisuke and Akihiro as well. As much as he knew that this was the ultimate price that Kenta had to pay for his actions, Naoki felt for his friend greatly, especially given his firsthand observation of the incident and how Kenta was provoked into letting the first punch fly. Moreover, it saddened him to think that their fearless leader would hit a snag like this after undergoing several good changes, a thought that Monika would undoubtedly share. Kenta's seat would be empty for the next three days, but Naoki knew that he would be gone from the quadrumvirate for much longer out of shame. Thus far, Yuri made no move to speak about the suspension or Kenta's actions; Naoki sensed that she was doing so to not bring his mood down any further, and also out of respect for Kenta.

Outside Gallagher's, the evening cold seemed merciless. Though their jackets worked well to protect them from the chill, their exposed faces felt the wind's icy sting considerably. Rain had fallen sporadically for the past few days, strengthening the nippy air of autumn. It was as if the weather itself began reflecting the general gloom brought by the past couple of weeks to Naoki and the quadrumvirate.

Yuri wrapped her jacket around herself more tightly, pulling it up to shield her face a little more from the cold. "D-Do you want to take a cab back to my house?" she asked. "Or are you fine w-with walking in the cold like this?"

"I think a cab would be perfect right now," Naoki acknowledged. Though Yuri's place was not that far, the things that they had bought and the evening's chill would slow them down considerably.

And so, after waiting patiently in the relatively warmer confines of Gallagher's, the two of them managed to hail a taxi for a ride to the Hoshino household. Naoki observed the buildings and people on the sidewalks as the vehicle drove down the streets. Like them, there were more people now choosing to travel by means of public transportation or with their own vehicles in order to avoid the cold outside. The night market and other such outdoor venues were still populated by customers and visitors, though there was a noticeable reduction in their numbers whenever dusk had fallen and the day's cold intensified. Some still braved the cold by increasing the layers of clothing that they wore for warmth, and Naoki knew that it would only be a matter of time before he would add a scarf and some winter mitts to his clothes whenever he ventured outside.

Inside the cab next to him, Yuri was looking over what they had bought from Gallagher's, evidently checking if they had forgotten anything. Naoki laid a hand on her arm, prompting her to look up with a slight blush.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"L-Looks like that, yes," said Yuri in reply. "I was just wondering if there was something w-we should have bought that wasn't on the list. . ."

"Well, Ritsuo told me that everything in the list should be enough for now," Naoki mused. "Maybe the others are already taking care of whatever we might've missed."

"I suppose so. . ." Yuri laughed a little. "Maybe I'm just worrying too much again."

"Don't worry, I understand," said Naoki, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.

In spite of the progressing effects of autumn, the Hoshino household still looked as quaint as it ever did, with its well-tended garden and its rustic architecture. Naoki imagined that even in the cold and at her age, Yuri's grandmother worked hard to keep the garden in shape, and he felt his respect for her rise. Indeed, when the two of them entered the house, they found her in the kitchen cooking instead of resting somewhere.

"Good evening, Grandmother," said Yuri when she approached her.

"Oh, Granddaughter, you're here," said the old woman, looking around from the boiling pot that she was tending to on the old gas stove. "And I see you've brought your handsome friend with you again!"

Yuri blushed as she glanced at Naoki, who smiled warmly. "Good evening, ma'am. I'm just here to work with Yuri for some things at school."

"Yes, she's told me that earlier this morning," said the old woman, ambling closer to them. "She also said that you'll need some of my old needlework things as well. They're in her room right now. If you two need anything more, just come downstairs and ask. I'll just be here preparing dinner. You are going to stay for dinner, right, young man?" she added, looking shrewdly at Naoki.

Naoki felt surprised. "Dinner, ma'am?" he asked.

"Yes, and I think that this time around you should stay," said Yuri's grandmother, tutting. She turned to Yuri, whose face was now turning scarlet. "Granddaughter, I told you that it's fine if you have some of your friends stay over to eat with us. This young man has been here a couple of times before, and not once did you consider inviting him to stay for dinner. Not a single time! It's like you don't even want him or any of your other friends to stay longer."

Once again, Yuri shot a glance at Naoki, and a knowing look flitted discreetly between them even through their discomfiture. Obviously, Yuri's grandmother had no way of knowing what had transpired during Naoki's past two visits here and how it ran off any thought of staying then.

"I-If it's alright with Naoki, then p-perhaps—" Yuri began.

"It's totally alright with me, Yuri, don't worry!" Naoki offered, not wanting to let Yuri's discomfiture rise any further. "I mean, a-as long as it's not a problem w-with anyone."

"It's fine, it's fine," said Yuri's grandmother with a dismissive wave. "You two just carry on with whatever you need doing. Dinner will be ready by the time you're done."

"Yes, ma'am. We'll be going upstairs then," said Naoki cordially.

Five minutes later, in her room, Yuri quickly shut the door. "I'm s-sorry if Grandmother was rather straightforward back there," she said in a worried tone. "She's been telling me those things for a while now, b-but I never expected her to actually m-mention them to you as well!"

"It's okay," said Naoki with a reassuring smile. "I'll admit, I was caught a bit off guard by it all. I imagined that we might be taking too much from her already if I stay for dinner, but it'd also seem rude of me to refuse."

"Grandmother likes having people around here, so she's always fine with preparing for visitors. And she wants me bond some more around here with any friends I might have," Yuri explained. "She's always seen how I kept my distance from other people, so she often encourages me to invite any classmates or friends over. M-Maybe she saw that I might be feeling lonely, and I didn't w-want to disappoint her at times by telling her outright that . . . that I had n-no friends that I could invite over for dinner or tea."

"But things are different now, right?" Naoki proffered. "I mean, you have, well . . . m-me," he added in a rather shy tone. "And then there's Natsuki, and Daisuke as well as the others."

Yuri smiled timidly. "I suppose you're right. But so far, y-you're the only one that I've ever had the courage t-to invite."

"I understand," said Naoki, his shyness deepening at that. "But don't forget that you've been doing pretty well with Natsuki for the past few days too."

And indeed Yuri was doing well; from what she had told Naoki, she had been speaking to Natsuki during the times when he or Daisuke were absent from their sides at lunch. Yuri spoke of how Natsuki was starting to become gradually cordial—or as cordial as things could be with Natsuki—the more they spoke about their reading interests regardless of how different manga books were from horror novels. It made Naoki happy to think that Yuri was starting to shed her social anxiety bit by bit in favor of bonding with a new friend, just as he was happy that Natsuki found some more respite from the conflict of her situation at home in Yuri.

"Well, we don't talk as often as I do with y-you, or her with Daisuke," Yuri acknowledged, "but I always told her that if she was with no one, she could join us for lunch, and maybe we can have her come along with us when we go out a-after school."

"What did she say to that?"

"She told me that she was fine with simply hanging out at school. Though she did joke once again that I m-might be just trying to get her attention or something s-since I'm always telling her these things."

The two of them laughed lightly at that. "I bet Daisuke gets a lot of these quips from her," said Naoki. "At any rate, let's see if we can get them to tag along with us in the future. I mean, with the next get-together being delayed and all . . ."

At that, however, the momentary mirth in the atmosphere faded somewhat as he remembered Kenta's situation and how it had delayed the get-together that they had been anticipating. Naoki wondered for a moment how long it would be before everyone got back on track.

"Anyway, shall we begin working now?" he asked, deciding to forestall the topic before it took off.

"O-Oh, yes, of course!" said Yuri.

With the pointers that they had seen and downloaded from the internet, the two of them made some good headway into their craft—and a colorful task it was. Naoki cut through the illustration boards and construction papers and carefully broke popsicle sticks while Yuri measured and wrote on the paper cups the part where they would be cutting through. Nearby were the spare sewing decorations that Yuri's grandmother had taken out for them—buttons and sequins of various colors and sizes, spare spools of yarn, and even some spare patches. Painting the cups would come later once they had glued on the bits and pieces they needed, but the small poster paint canisters that they had bought earlier sat near them, ready to be prepared once they had finished decorating. As they worked, Naoki wondered how things would be if they had Natsuki with them; Daisuke had narrated a few times before of how utterly creative Natsuki was when decorating her projects for school.

"I'm done measuring these paper cups," said Yuri after a while. "How about you?"

"Not quite yet," said Naoki as he cut up a piece of illustration board. "We should've bought an extra pair of scissors, now that I think about it. Do you need these now?"

"Oh, no need!" said Yuri. "I'll j-just get one of m—"

But her voice wavered a little at that, as if she just remembered something. Naoki glanced at her. "What is it?" he asked.

"N-Nothing," Yuri murmured in reply, fidgeting. "I'll just b-borrow one of Grandmother's sewing scissors!"

With that, she stood up and left her room posthaste. Though Naoki was not entirely sure with his answer about what she had hesitated to say, he remembered her knife collection and, once again, how it tied up with his own musings about her possible predicament. Again, Yuri's lightening mood had lessened the need for him to worry about that, but it always lingered at the end of each day, nudging at the back of his head during the times when he had no homework or novels to occupy his mind.

Yuri returned around a minute later, carrying with her a large pair of red scissors. She smiled nervously when she entered, sat back down on the floor and took a paper cup at random to begin cutting. Not wanting to dwell on his somber thoughts or intensify Yuri's unease, Naoki shifted to another topic as if her sudden apprehension had never happened.

"Have you made DIY goods like these before, Yuri?"

Yuri glanced around, a bit surprised. "Oh, not yet, to be honest," Yuri replied as she snipped through the marks she had made on her cup. "It feels like quite a lot of work, though I think that's only because I've done other things instead. Like helping Grandmother with her sewing and decorating, for instance."

"Really? So do you know how to sew?" asked Naoki.

"N-Not really," Yuri admitted with a small laugh. "That's a bit more complex than this, to be sure. It's a marvel that Grandmother can still sew at her age. Some of the decorative things you might've seen hanging in the hallway are her works."

"Wow, that's impressive," said Naoki. "Does she also make kumihimo?"

"No, but she has a few friends that did. It's definitely an interesting craft, but one even more difficult compared to sewing, from what I've read."

"Yes, our grandmother from the father side made kumihimo. Dad told us that she learned the craft from her mother, and now her daughters have taken it up as well in the rural parts of Yamanashi. I've seen some of their work, and it's honestly amazing."

"I wish I could've seen that as well," said Yuri in wonder.

Naoki laughed. "If we ever end up in Yamanashi, remind me to show you."

The work continued, and soon they had managed to piece together some nice decorations with each other's help. From animal designs to abstract decorations, it was simple enough once they had cut out what needed cutting and glued what needed gluing. The good part about it all was that though they had instructions to follow about shapes and whatnot, they could also let their creative juices flow regarding which color of yarn to wrap around a cup or which button to use for animal eyes. It reminded Naoki a lot of Arts and Crafts back in kindergarten.

"Are we gonna start painting them now?" he asked.

"I want to, but maybe Grandmother is f-finished cooking dinner now," said Yuri, looking at him bashfully. "I'll go check if you want."

"Oh, sure thing!"

When Yuri returned a minute later after going downstairs, she said, "She's finished. D-Do you want to go eat now or . . . ?"

"Well, it'd be rude if we let her eat all alone," said Naoki with a smile. "Let's go then."

The smell of freshly cooked okayu—rice porridge topped with scallions, nori and salted salmon pieces—wafted tantalizingly in the air as the two of them reentered the kitchen. There were three bowls full on the small dining table there, and a larger pot sitting right in the middle atop a small pot stand. Smaller cups of green tea sat right next to them. Some extra condiments for the okayu and a plate full of pickled vegetables completed the rustic tabletop scene.

"Were you and your family born around here, young man?" Yuri's grandmother asked as they ate. "Or did you move in from another prefecture?"

"More on the latter for my parents, ma'am," replied Naoki through a spoonful of okayu. "My father was originally from Yamanashi, while my mother lived in Tochigi. They moved here a few years before I was born."

"Ah, at least that's closer by a great deal compared to Hiroshima," said Yuri's grandmother. "I'm sure Granddaughter here has already told you before, that's where her parents are right now."

For a moment, Naoki remembered what Kenta had told him and the rest of the quadrumvirate about Monika's parents. "It sounds like Yuri's parents are involved in some rather considerable work."

"Yes, and this isn't the first time that work's taken them someplace far," Yuri's grandmother stated. "It's not too bad, although I never really fancied the distance from here to Hiroshima or any other place their company takes them. Not that I'm complaining or anything, mind you—Granddaughter is anything but poor company. I could never ask for a more obedient or patient young woman to help me around the house, that's for sure. I just wish she went out more and brought her friends over here more often."

"T-There's no need for that, Grandmother," Yuri stammered.

"Nonsense, Granddaughter," said the old woman. "You can always bring your classmates over if you want, I won't complain. In fact, I'm glad that you started doing just that with this dashing young gentleman over here." She nodded towards Naoki, a shrewd gleam shining behind her pale lavender eyes. "A pleasant surprise, to be sure—I wasn't expecting the first person you'd bring over here to be a boy."

Yuri turned pink as she also shot a glance at him. "I-It's just for schoolwork, though."

"Well, whatever it's for, I'm glad that you're bringing him here more often," her grandmother simpered. "As long as there's no hanky-panky, of course, with you two being alone in a room and all!"

"O-Of course there'll be none of that, Grandmother!" exclaimed Yuri, her face bypassing pink as it reddened further. Again, she glanced at Naoki, the look in her eyes imploring him to forgive her grandmother's candid remarks. Naoki laughed lightly to show that it was all in good fun even as he felt heat suffuse his ears, which he knew had nothing to do with the hot okayu.

"So are you an avid reader like Granddaughter is, young man?" Yuri's grandmother went on.

"Yes, ma'am," said Naoki in reply. "That's how Yuri and I got to know each other better as time passed. It isn't often that I meet someone who has the same passion for reading like I do."

"That's really nice to hear," said the old woman, nodding. "Kids nowadays often focus on their computers and cellphones too much that they've forgotten what it's like to read a good book every once in a while. Most of the works that Granddaughter has read are old books that I used to own. I figured that it'd be good to hand them down to her ever since my eyes have started growing poorer. It's a wonder that she hasn't worn out her own eyes enough to start wearing eyeglasses like you."

"Yes, it's a price one has to pay for being an avid reader," Naoki remarked with a chuckle.

"One that I m-might pay soon, I might add," Yuri chimed in timidly. "Sometimes I marvel at how my eyes can keep things up."

Her grandmother laughed softly at that. "A small price indeed in exchange for a good adventure, am I right, Granddaughter? I swear that every time I enter your room to deliver fresh clothes or call you down for dinner, I'll always find you with an open book in front of you. And sometimes you won't even notice at all that I'm in the room."

"I know what you mean, ma'am. It's easy to become engrossed in a good story as you go, and I'm sure Yuri knows that feeling better than anyone," said Naoki, looking at Yuri with a grin and causing her to blush once again. For a moment, he imagined just how elegant she would look with eyeglasses adorning her face, but the thought was marred as he remembered the red stains on her sleeve.

Painting the cups had been tricky at first as the two of them avoided painting over the buttons and strings and sequins that they had glued onto them, but Yuri was all focus. Determined to make Naoki feel better after Kenta's mishap and make up for the disastrous nature of his prior visits to her place, she had vowed to keep her excitement and anxiety in check. That had been surprisingly manageable thus far, though there were a few moments when she thought she would fail, courtesy of Naoki's smile and her grandmother's words.

And of course, there was the fact that her knives were close by.

It was hard for Yuri to pretend that Naoki's previous visits had never happened, especially with the fact that both visits had moments where she was running from him in a desperate attempt to regain her bearings and hide her dark secret. Naoki never spoke much about those incidents afterwards, but Yuri knew it would be foolish to imagine that someone as perceptive and intelligent as him still had no idea about what she was doing, especially given how she had been so despairingly obvious about them. If Kenta's suspension provided them any form of comfort at all, it is the fact that it delivered both a distraction and a chance for her to cheer Naoki up. Still, the lingering knowledge that her knives were under the same roof with the two of them was threatening to unseat her focus and control over her anxiety more than anything at the moment.

And so, directing her focus in short but concise ways, Yuri doubled down on her efforts and took on their next tasks with increased diligence. After the two of them had returned to her room, she immediately set about opening the canisters of poster paint that they had bought, set them down on pieces of paper to catch any wayward droplets of paint, and divided the decorated cups equally between her and Naoki.

"So how far are you into Markov?" he asked her after a while, squinting as he carefully traced a line of blue paint on the cup he was holding. "It's the thirty-third chapter for me."

"I'm at the thirty-sixth," Yuri replied, careful not to let any green paint trickle down the side of her own cup. "I think I read ahead t-too much again. Do you want me to wait for you to catch up?"

"No, it's okay," said Naoki. "I've been a bit, ah . . . preoccupied lately, so I haven't been able to read at a better rate. Maybe once we're done with our DIYs, I'll get back on track."

"If you s-say so. . ." Yuri wondered privately what Naoki was exactly preoccupied with apart from the incident with Kenta, but she quashed the thought in a flash. "Do you suppose the other students at school will like these enough to buy them?"

"It depends on the buyer, but hey, they make neat pencil cups, don't you think?" Naoki proffered. "And if not, they would at least look good on shelves as decorations. Our handiwork isn't the neatest, I'll admit, but it kinda adds to their overall flair. Makes them look abstract in a way. Even if we mess up with the colors, we can at least go crazy on other shades and pass it off by saying that multicolored animals were always a thing," he added, laughing.

"Well, I'll admit, it's not every day that you see a red penguin or a blue cat," said Yuri, laughing with him.

By the time they had finished more than half of their cups, smudges of varying colors had stained their fingertips and palms as they experimented with different shades for every other cup. Yuri had to go to the bathroom a couple of times to clean her hands as best as she could underneath running water, always remembering to roll back her sleeves and hide her scars after she was done. Naoki, on the other hand, did not seem to mind dirtying his hands with paint, although he was also extra careful not to get any on his uniform.

"I'm sorry if I'm not talking too much," he said when she returned for the third time from the bathroom. "I hope you don't think that I'm not in any mood to talk right now or anything. All this work has me focusing a lot more than I expected."

"Oh, that's okay," said Yuri, giving him a reassuring smile as she sat down across him. "It does get you hooked in after a while, doesn't it?"

"It does," said Naoki genially, "especially when you're with good company."

Yuri felt blood rush to her face at that. "I know what you mean. Regardless of the activity, I feel that as long as I'm with a good friend like . . . like y-you, I don't mind even if we don't talk too much. Just having you around always makes things n-nicer."

Naoki regarded her for a moment with his eyes, those cool grey eyes that always seemed to radiate warmth towards her. "Thank you, Yuri," he said with a smile.

Once again, Yuri felt the flush on her face deepen. Naoki did not seem to notice, however, for he merely continued painting in silence as she sat there with her heart aflutter. The words she had uttered seemed like nothing new given how close she and Naoki had grown, but their effects lingered in the air around them like diffused essential oils nonetheless. Feeling her heartbeat rise, she quickly bowed her head and looked around for something to do before her excitement grew too much. It was then that she remembered the task at hand, and so she reached out towards her paint brush on the floor to continue painting before her vision became fuzzy.

As she leaned forward to grab the brush, however, her forehead bumped into something. At the same time, she heard Naoki cry out with both pain and surprise. She drew back hastily just in time to see him with his glasses askew across his face, and she realized that it was his head that she had bumped into.

"Oh, dear! I'm s-sorry!" she exclaimed.

"It's okay, no harm done," Naoki said with a shaky laugh, readjusting his glasses with his free hand. "I was gonna get some more paint, but I didn't notice that you were leaning forward too. Are you hurt?"

"N-No, I was just startled, that's all. I'm really sorry!" Yuri ignored the dull pain on her forehead as she straightened herself up. It was then that she noticed flecks of blue paint on Naoki's face.

"There's p-paint on your face!" she said worriedly, drawing a bit closer to him.

"Is there?" Naoki touched his cheeks lightly with his free hand a few times to check. When he glanced back at her, he added, "Oh, there's some on your face too. I must've accidentally flicked this brush a bit too wildly. . ."

Not knowing what else to say, Yuri stood up hastily. "S-Stay there, I'll go get something for the stains!"

With that, she rushed out into the hallway and towards the bathroom, much like the time that she had run from Naoki after spilling tea on his notes. This time, however, in spite of the voices around her blaming her for this newest mishap, Yuri went with a cleaner purpose in mind. I will not let the evening end like this.

She whispered a quiet word of thanks when she saw that her grandmother had already stocked up on some clean face towels in the bathroom's cabinet. She quickly rolled her sleeves back, took a towel from the cabinet, and ran it under some hot water at the sink. Once it was damp enough, she turned around and threw open the door to make her way back. However, she skidded to a halt as she saw Naoki standing outside the bathroom. The concerned look on her face sent her worries into overdrive.

"W-What are you doing out here?" she asked, breathless.

"I wanted to make sure that you were alright," Naoki replied. "I didn't want you to w-worry too much about this."

"O-Oh, it's fine," said Yuri, nodding to show that she understood even as her heart beat faster. "It's just that . . . it's an embarrassing thing, really. . . I shouldn't have, y-you know. . ." She wrung the towel between her hands, causing some water to trickle to the floor.

She heard Naoki speak up. "Here, let me—"

For some reason, however, Naoki did not finish his sentence. Yuri saw that he seemed to have frozen where he stood, like he had been struck dumb by an unseen force. Momentarily roused from her own apprehension as she noticed this stillness, she looked up. "W-What is it?" she asked. "What's wr—?"

But it was then that she noticed just where Naoki was staring. She followed his gaze and glanced back down at her hands, and it was then that she saw.

My sleeves.

In a fleeting moment of hindsight, one that would pass by a person's mind right before they fall or die, Yuri knew that she should have remembered to unroll her sleeves the moment she finished her business at the bathroom sink. Still, could she have helped it? She had been overcome by her anxiety then, just like how she was now being overwhelmed by a growing feeling of horror.

Feeling her heart trying to burst free from her chest, she stumbled backwards against the wall behind her, the damp towel falling from her trembling hands. All around her, the walls of her home seemed to close in on her, intent on crushing her into nothingness, and yet Yuri knew that would be better than existing right now. Her breath grew more ragged by the second, catching in her throat as she tried in vain to make sense of everything around her right now. Soon, her knees gave way, making her sink to the floor.

Naoki was right there with her, dropping to his knees and bracing her by the arms. Yuri could hear his voice calling out to her, but the sound . . . it was as if she was plummeting straight into the abyss, where only the echoes of a roiling blackness prevailed around her, distorting all light and sound and making it seem like she was drowning underwater while Naoki was calling out to her from above. Her body shook and jerked a few times, and she imagined for a moment that she had lost all control of her faculties, but it was not so; Naoki was shaking her gently.

"Yuri? Yuri!" he kept calling out.

Slowly, almost against her will, Yuri felt the world return around her, felt the firmness of Naoki's hands gripping her shoulders, saw his handsome face with those cool grey eyes and the flecks of paint on his cheeks. The worry in his eyes had intensified, and he looked to be fighting hard to keep it in check. Succumbing to hysterics, she did not know whether to laugh or cry or scream.

Quick, fearful tears trickled down her face involuntarily. "I'm sorry," she managed to say in a weak voice. "I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry. I'm r-really sorry. . ."

"Yuri . . ." Naoki began, but she shook her head rapidly.

"I'm really sorry. I'm really s-s-sorry. . ." she kept whimpering, scrabbling against her forearm as she tried to cover up her scars. Her fingers felt numb, however, and all she managed to do was to tug feebly at her rolled-up sleeve. It was as if her body had finally given up all thought of concealing her scars—for was there indeed any point now? That was when she felt Naoki's hand cover hers, forestalling her efforts. When he spoke again, the calmness of his voice belied the anxiousness in his eyes.

"Come on. Let's get you back to your room first."

Yuri did not know that it was possible for her heartbeat to rise further than it already is, given how she felt like she would collapse or vomit at any moment from its pressure. As if to reaffirm his words, Naoki eased her up slowly, grabbing the fallen face towel with his free hand. In spite of her terror and shame, Yuri responded to his efforts by getting up gingerly. When her knees buckled, Naoki simply put her arm around his shoulder to support her further.

The walk back to her room seemed to take forever, even if it was just one door down. At certain intervals along the way, Yuri contemplated running back to the bathroom to hide there forever, but she kept moving with Naoki instead. Her tears kept falling, and it was all she could do not to sob and draw her grandmother upstairs. Thankfully, no one showed up to witness her being half-carried into her own room by Naoki, though that did little to distract her mind from the growing dread and horror within her. Inside her room, the colorful paper cups that they had been working on seemed to mock the grave atmosphere that she brought inside with her.

Naoki set her down on her bed, sitting next to her. "Yuri, look at me."

Yuri, on the other hand, merely shook her head again. Some of her tears fell on Naoki's arms from the movement. Undeterred, Naoki took her hand in his once more.

"Yuri, please."

Even as she was lost in her stupor of dismay, Yuri took note of the plea in his voice. His fingers tightened around hers. Her scars, on the other hand, lay bare for all to see, though she saw out of the corner of her eye that Naoki was not looking at them. Instead, his gaze was fixated on her, and she appreciated him even more for that. She knew that the longer she ignored the dreadful elephant in the room, the more she was betraying him in a way. As despondent and terrified as she felt, she could not seem to find it in her heart to do that.

She looked at him, her eyes leaking more tears. Naoki looked as if he was about to cry as well at any moment, but he was fighting back his own emotions—for her, she knew.

"You've s-s-seen them," she stammered tearfully. "You . . . Y-You know now. . ."

She stared deeply into his eyes as she spoke, looking for any signs from him that would reinforce her consternation—a look of disgust, of disappointment, of hatred even—anything that would tell her just how much of a horrible, filthy and corrupted being she was, a pariah undeserving of any attention or affection. Perhaps then she can come to terms with the fact that after this day, she would be left to her own devices, free to feed the hunger of the beast that had her in a tight grip, free to . . .

Naoki placed his other hand above her left forearm, right next to her scars. Yuri looked down, fearing what he would do, but he simply tugged at her rolled-up sleeve. His movements were careful, precise, as if he was wary of accidentally hurting her. He kept pulling and tugging until at last, her sleeve was back to its normal length, putting her scars out of sight. When this was done, he took the damp towel she had taken from the bathroom and started wiping at her face gently. The fabric felt cold against her skin, making her jolt a little, but she soon found its sensation comforting, like a breath of cold air during a hot day. In a way, it reminded her of the feel of cold steel against the bare skin of her forearm, but the energy in this gesture felt . . . different, almost pure. The towel crossed her cheeks lightly, and Yuri saw that Naoki was not only wiping away the paint stains there, but also her tears.

When he was done, he set the towel down and gazed intently into her eyes once again. His gestures had calmed her down a little, but the foreboding still remained like a weight in her stomach. In all the days that she had spent with him, Yuri had never seen him look so mature, so utterly serious, even with the blue specks on his cheeks.

This time, he held on to both of her hands. "I'll help you."

Yuri regarded him for a few wordless moments. Staring back at him, she saw no hint of repulsion or disenchantment—instead, she saw only him. She bowed her head and pulled him into a tight embrace, new tears trickling from her eyes. Soon, she felt his arms wrap around her in response. It was a comfort unlike anything she had ever experienced.