Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater
(featuring the Kuga-Fujino family pets)
A/N: This omake popped into my head when I was responding to yuiseppe about her review of the previous chapter. Thanks, yui!
~X X X~
Giant, fluffy flakes of snow glinted in the brilliant moonlight as they drifted down to add themselves to the unbroken white blanket that covered the front yard. It was entirely the kind of winter night that Natsuki liked: the kind where she could watch it from the other side of a window, in a well-heated living room, a cup of steaming hot cocoa in her hand.
It was, she had to admit, a cozy little scene. The Christmas tree was gleaming with ornaments, the presents were neatly stacked beneath in a pile of shining paper and glittery ribbon, and stuffed stockings were hung, if not by the chimney with care (since they didn't have a fireplace), at least from the corners of the kotatsu. Natsuki was curled up on the couch, Duran asleep on the floor next to her, while Shizuru snuggled against Natsuki's back, brushing Kiyohime free of loose scales while the hydra's six heads dipped in and out of the bag of marshmallows.
"It's nights like this," Natsuki decided, "that make it seem like all the work of getting ready for the holidays is worth it. The presents are wrapped, the chicken is pre-ordered, and we've even got our New Year's postcards written, signed, and in the mail. Now we can just sit back and relax."
"Mmn," Shizuru purred. Or maybe it was Kiyohime. Either way, it didn't matter. Natsuki knew by now that Shizuru lived for these moments of domestic bliss. Maybe it was the years of angsting over then-unrequited love or over whether she'd ever get to have a normal home life.
Mind you, Natsuki thought it was pretty nice herself.
"I even got a gift for Alyssa," Natsuki added, "since she's some kind of weird sideways-kinda-in-a-mad-sciency-way family member. And Miyu, because Alyssa would be sad if I ignored her. And Nao, because it will totally mess her up to get a thank-you gift from me for all the shopping help. Especially if Yukariko sees it and starts in on how Nao, as a good Sister, should be giving presents to the people in her life."
She cackled, prompting Shizuru to say, "Ara, is Christmas really the correct time to be getting petty revenge on your friends?"
"Sure! 'Tis the season to be jolly, isn't that how the song goes?"
"I trust that your gift for Mai was in a more conventional spirit?"
"Mai? I didn't get Mai anything."
With a year and a half of girlfriend-dom behind her, Natsuki could feel the disapproving pout without turning around.
"Hey, it's not like I'm a Christian," she defended herself. "I get gifts for you, because duh, for Duran and Kiyohime because they're sort of like our kids, and for the Americans in my life who'd probably expect it as a normal thing, especially since they're in a foreign country surrounded by people who don't celebrate the same holidays. And Nao, to mess with her. Mai isn't in any of those categories. Besides, she's got two boyfriends, so she'll get twice the normal stuff anyway."
"Natsuki, Mai is your best friend," Shizuru explained calmly. Calm was bad. Calm meant that Natsuki had fouled up so much that Shizuru thought it was more important to explain the problem than to tease Natsuki about her troubles. "How do you think she will feel when she learns that you gave Christmas presents to Miyu and Nao, but not to her?"
Natsuki blinked.
Then thought it over.
Then she offered a one-word summation which really didn't fit the Christmas mood.
"Natsuki apparently sees my point."
"Yeah, I do...but geez, it's the 23rd! Considering what shopping was like earlier on, I'll probably have to call in air strikes just to get in the door."
"Natsuki..."
"Yeah, yeah, it's my fault and all that. I'm going." She chugged the last of her cocoa, set the cup down, and pushed herself to her feet. "C'mon, Duran, let's go."
The steel wolf looked up and made a curious noise.
"Yes, you're coming with. Woman's best friend, right? And when times are tough, that's when people turn to their dogs for help."
Duran hopped to his feet, wagging furiously.
"Okay, Shizuru, we'll be back...sometime. Hopefully soon. My ears are getting cold just looking at the weather."
"Don't head-butt anyone. Remember, this time it's your fault or you wouldn't be going out."
"Can I shoot them?"
Shizuru was obviously feeling sympathetic, because she didn't bother with even one teasing comment. Natsuki supposed that Christmas spirit stuff people kept singing about showed up in a lot of different ways.
~X X X~
It was as bad as Natsuki had feared. Most of the smaller shops had closed for the night due to the combination of the late hour and the weather. That, in turn, had just herded the remaining shoppers to those few venues that still were open. And given the date, it wasn't surprising at all that the crowd was made up only of the most desperate and panic-stricken bargain hunters. It was almost enough to make Natsuki feel sorry for the store's staff.
The reason for the "almost" was that one member of that staff was currently blocking her from getting more than a couple of feet inside the store.
"Excuse me, miss, but you cannot bring that animal into the store. Our policy is quite explicit, that only service animals are allowed."
Natsuki folded her arms over her chest. This guy was starting to seriously tick her off. His snide tone, calling Duran "that animal"...even the fact that he'd jumped to the (admittedly accurate) conclusion that just because Natsuki wasn't blind that Duran wasn't a service animal. Seeing-eye dogs were only one sort, after all; there were many important roles such animals played.
"Duran is a service dog," she lied flatly.
"Oh?" the man sneered, his bulbous nose twitching. "And just what kind of 'service' is he supposed to perform?"
Natsuki smiled. He did ask, after all.
"I'll show you. Duran! Load Flash Cartridge!"
There was a loud ratcheting sound as the magazines on his back hips fed shells into the breeches of his twin rifles.
"Fire!"
It was a testament to the intensity of the shopping fever that no one in the seething mass heard the explosion of Duran shooting. They did, however, hear and see the explosion of the cartridges, the flashbangs detonating above their heads, leaving them momentarily blinded and stunned. The mob was temporarily stilled, opening a clear route to the shelves.
Grinning, Natsuki dropped her hand to Duran's neck and gave him a few pets. He wagged his tail happily.
"Customer service," she said. "He's my personal shopper."