CHAPTER SEVENTY – KENTA'S WOES

The days passed by like a blur. As he continued to write in the silence of his room, Kenta knew he should be getting used to it, given that there was nothing to look forward to other than their school's thrice-damned exams in more than two weeks' time. All the while, Eishima continued to grow colder, and while others were starting to shift into a festive mood for the holidays, the students of Koizumi Academy were battling the onset of trepidation, the next wave to hit the shore before the holidays. A stubborn few chose to rebel by going out after school, making up for lost time by going to malls and escaping from their academic woes even for just a short while. Most submitted themselves to the mounting schoolwork by studying in the library or going home early to work on their notes. Having nothing else to do, Kenta followed the latter example. Better than slacking off and adding one more screw-up to the list I've got.

After his encounter with Mrs. Steinbeck, he decided that it was high time to gradually convince himself that everything was for the best. Imagining Monika being so stressed out from her club's practice sessions and preparation for January, he had started telling himself that staying away would be beneficial for her in order for her to keep focusing. Yeah, staying away and going against everything she told you about, you damn idiot. Every time he tried to envision Monika's tiredness, he also remembered how it had been his company, at her occasional request, that helped her cope with the stress and made her feel better. And now, whenever he imagined her coming home exhausted and lonely after a long day at school, he knew it was partly his absence that made her feel so. Small wonder that staying away felt so wrong.

Gritting his teeth, he put down his pencil and stood up, pacing around his room. Everything irritated him at that moment—the feel of his shirt stretching more snugly around his shoulders, the cold stupor that lingered in the vicinity, the fact that he was writing only one measly line every ten minutes, the sight of his cluttered desk with its open books and notebooks. Fed up, he took off his shirt on a whim, balled it up and threw it against the nearby wall, where it fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. The cold weather immediately sent a slight chill through his back and arms, but his stress felt so palpable that it was a wonder that no steam was rising off of him. Part of him wanted to overturn his desk as well, if only to express his frustration in a more satisfactory way, but he was not about to give his mother and sister a sudden issue to deal with. He stared at his fallen shirt for a moment, before picking it up and putting it back on grudgingly. He spent a few more minutes lingering and pacing before collapsing in a disgruntled pile on his bed.

I need to get out. Kenta had no doubt that he could find some sort of excuse to leave the house for a while, but no activity seemed adequate enough to calm him down. He could walk for a few blocks, using his surroundings to try and soothe his distress, but it would always come back to trouble him all over again when he would return and continue where he left off. Everything felt like a chore—eating, bathing, studying, even listening to music or watching television. There were a few times when his sister would rib him for being quiet at the dinner table, while his mother would remind him jokingly of all the times in the past when he shut himself out after being rejected by a crush. Being more resentful towards his choices rather than at his family's quips, Kenta took their comments in stride and kept being quiet—though for how long, he could not tell.

The guys too, they're starting to notice. Earlier, he had to refuse another invite from some classmates to eat out, but saying no to them was far easier than staying away from the rest of their quartet. Daisuke, Naoki and Akihiro did not seem to mind the fact that he was beginning to distance himself from them again, listening mostly to their conversations and eating with them in silence instead of joking around and opening topics with them like he usually did. Granted, the three had other people to talk to and interact with—Naoki with Yuri and Daisuke with Natsuki, while Akihiro was often at another spot with his classmates—but there were a few instances already when Daisuke and Naoki would check on him, as if they sensed that he was being more silent than usual. Kenta wanted to tell them what happened, to seek reprieve the torment that came with avoiding Monika without any explanation, but his decision to keep avoiding her at her mother's behest and indirectly hurting her kept souring any thought of sharing his burden with his friends.

Feeling the oppressive atmosphere in his room growing, Kenta stood up and left his room in a huff, careful not to slam the door behind him in frustration. In the nearby kitchen, he could hear the sounds of his mother making dinner. He walked over just as his mother closed the refrigerator, holding a small tray of mixed vegetables.

"Taking a break?" she asked him, setting the tray down on a countertop. "You're studying pretty hard again."

Kenta grunted as he took a bottle of juice from the fridge. "Nothing else to do."

His mother looked at him curiously. "You're probably annoyed that your exams are going to happen so close to Christmas. I've heard a few students complaining about it when I was buying at Mrs. Saionji's earlier," she narrated, setting the vegetables down on a counter and picking up a small head of cabbage to slice. "Well, it can't be helped. Schools like to get these things over with before any sort of break happens. You'll be all the more thankful for it when you enjoy the holidays without any worries for the next couple of months."

"Yeah, maybe." And while we're enjoying the Christmas break, Monika's still gonna be dealing with all that stress for that competition. Kenta drank his half-glass of juice with a sullen air and placed the bottle back inside the fridge. "I wanna go out and get some fresh air," he muttered. "I feel like a headache's coming on."

Oblivious to his dilemma, his mother waved her hand airily. "Go ahead. Just remember to be back at around half an hour. Your sister did say that we don't have to wait up for her tonight, and I want to eat early tonight."

"Yeah, sure." But even as he went to the living room, Kenta felt his pace slowing down. Safe now from his mother's gaze, he pressed against a nearby wall and rubbed his face tiredly. He could feel his thoughts scattering, his wits fraying at the seams, and soon he was grasping at straws on what he truly wanted to do. Monika, I want to see Monika, that's what I want, he told himself, though what exactly he would say to her if he ever got that chance, Kenta could not tell. Maybe I can apologize for being a damn wimp who's too scared of her mom to tell her how I really am.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Kenta looked up with a start just as his mother called out from the kitchen. "Are you still here, Kenta? Would you mind checking out who that is?"

"I got it." Kenta walked over to their front door, took a deep breath to ease his conflicting emotions, and opened it.

To his surprise, Daisuke was standing there, carrying what looked to be a large bento box wrapped in a green furoshiki. He was still in his school shirt and pants, with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. When he saw Kenta, he grinned. "Greetings, good sir. Delivery for you," he said.

Kenta frowned, his earlier disgruntlement giving way to confusion. "Delivery?"

His mother shouted from the kitchen again before Daisuke could reply. "Kenta? Who is it?"

"It's Daisuke, Mom, and he's carrying . . . something," Kenta shouted back.

"Oh! I'll be there in a second!" Quick footsteps rang out as his mother rushed forth from the kitchen. "Hello, Daisuke!" she said cheerfully, while Daisuke bowed politely in return. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Sure is, Mrs. Yamaguchi," said Daisuke lightly. "Tokachi butadon, just like Mom promised."

"Perfect! Kenta, where are your manners?! Let him in!"

"Ah, r-right, sorry. Come in."

With that, Kenta stepped aside to allow Daisuke to enter the house. His mother accepted the box from him with a word of thanks and hurried over to the nearby dining table to unwrap it. A faint but tantalizing smell was emanating from it. When his mother opened the box, Kenta saw three neat lines of sliced pork, covered in a reddish brown glaze and topped with bits of onion leeks and grated radish. The sight of them made Kenta's stomach rumble in spite of himself.

"Oh, this looks wonderful!" his mother gushed. "And it smells absolutely divine. Does this mean that your mother managed to perfect her take on it, Daisuke?" she asked.

"As perfect as she could make it so far, Mrs. Yamaguchi," Daisuke replied. "I've been helping her for the past hour with the cooking. Never got the chance to get out of my uniform," he added with a laugh.

"Wait, wait, what's this about?" Kenta interjected.

"A little experiment," said his mother. "I've been talking to Mrs. Matsuda recently, and she was asking me about what other dishes she can make for their diner. With the holidays rolling in, the food business is booming, and it's the perfect time to expand. That's when I remembered the butadon your Aunt Mari used to make back then when she stayed for a year in Hokkaido, and I figured it would be a nice addition to their menu. Mrs. Matsuda told me that when she's done with it, she'll send a sample over."

"I already delivered some to Mom's other friends, and we'll be waiting for their feedback too," Daisuke added. "But my mom already considers it a success. She said it's the tastiest thing she's made in a while, Mrs. Yamaguchi."

"Well, that's a big statement considering how amazing her other dishes are. She has her cooking skills to thank for that," said Mrs. Yamaguchi with a titter. "Anyway, I think I'll go ahead and have a little taste. Do you want some too, Kenta?"

"Maybe later," said Kenta, though he eyed the butadon hungrily for a moment. "I still need to go out."

"Oh, where are you going?" asked Daisuke.

". . . Somewhere."

Without waiting for another word, Kenta turned to leave. Behind him, he could hear his mother and Daisuke continue talking, and the cry of delight and bliss that his mother let out when she tasted the pork at last before he closed the front door and drowned out the noise inside the house. The pall of winter was in the air, stinging his face and clashing against his stress-laden body heat as he stepped out into the small front yard. Kenta shrugged it off as he walked towards their house's gate, but stopped short as he wondered yet again where he could go. Unwilling to run into some schoolmates and give away just how miserable he was, he scratched downtown off his list. Maybe I can go to a part of town that I haven't really been through yet, he thought to himself. Perhaps by then, becoming lost in a street that he had never frequented, he would have enough peace to gather his thoughts and reflect on his poor choices. And as long as he was back before dinner, his mother would be none the wiser.

Before he could go out the gate, however, he heard the front door open behind him. Kenta turned to see Daisuke standing at the doorway. A look of concern was in his amber eyes, and immediately Kenta could tell what was about to follow.

"You okay, man?" Daisuke asked him.

Kenta tried to grin casually, but his mood twisted the expression from his lips. "Just tired. At least Mom's happy, though."

"You'll be feeling pretty happy too once you get a taste of that butadon. It's awesome, I tell ya."

"Yeah, I'll have some at dinner later."

"Make sure you do." Daisuke looked around for a moment, as if checking for eavesdroppers. "It's been a while since I really heard from you like this," he said. "Naoki wanted to go out to eat, spend a bit of time hanging out, but he could tell you weren't up to it. And besides, I had to go home early to help Mom cook."

"There's always a next time," Kenta pointed out brusquely. "After the exams, maybe."

"Yeah, maybe. But this matter that's happening right now, I don't think it can wait any longer." Daisuke's friendly demeanor turned rather grave now as he cut to the heart of the matter. "I didn't really wanna bring it up when we have lunch at school, but I guess this is a better time for it."

Kenta sighed. "I'm fine."

Daisuke clicked his tongue. "Dude, come on. It's plain for everyone to see. Me and Naoki, we just didn't wanna bother you about it, but this feels like it's going on for a while now. Whatever it is, I know for sure that it's trouble. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"We'll be at this all day, you know?"

Kenta grumbled under his breath. "Alright, fine. Something's up, but it ain't anyone's business but mine, okay? I'm gonna deal with this alone."

Daisuke stared seriously at him. "Are you really gonna pull that one on me right now?"

"What do you want me to say, dude?" Kenta snapped, taking a few quick steps towards him. Frustration burned through his veins, and he felt more helpless than ever, being interrogated like this. "I dunno what I can tell you, because I don't think I'll be able to even say it the way I want to. Everything is just crappy right now, man. Everything. I don't know where to go, what to do, how to think. I'm just stuck here wondering what else is gonna happen, and how long it's gonna go on."

"Then tell me what's wrong," Daisuke pressed. It was a testament to their long friendship that he knew enough about him to not be fazed or even surprised by his sudden outburst, even though Kenta towered over him by a few inches. Instead, he stood his ground, his amber eyes gleaming resolutely. "And not just me. Tell Naoki. Tell Akihiro. Tell everyone who can listen. This ain't the first time this happened, you know that, and we've always got each other's backs when it does. We're not mad that you're keeping quiet for the past few days, but we're not gonna let you stay miserable if something's bothering you! Don't tell me you forgot the stuff you said back at the diner that one time, when you and Akihiro came over. In case you forgot, you said that you weren't gonna let yourself go crazy by shouldering things on your own. Now look what's happening!"

Grimacing, Kenta turned away, running an agitated hand through his hair and tugging at the roots painfully. Daisuke stepped forward. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, alright? You know the drill. Stuff like this has happened before. Middle school, when Tubby Toru Shibata tried to bully Naoki, remember that? He and I had our butts kicked, while you got detention for two weeks straight for winning the fight for us, but even with how much trouble we got into, we promised that day that we'd have each other's backs, always. Doesn't matter if it involves bullies or schoolwork or problems at home. And I still haven't forgotten the time you and Naoki were at my side when Mom and Dad split up." He placed a hand on Kenta's shoulder. "We're in this together, man. If something's bothering you, tell us, and we'll help. We'll listen."

Kenta stared hard at the ground. I look for peace and quiet, and the universe just goes "nope" and hangs me out to dry to deal with this. At the back of his mind, he knew he could never fault his friends for being like this, but Daisuke's insistence to talk things out with him only made him feel even more upset about his predicament. And the fact that the things he was telling him about were things that he himself had proclaimed before made the situation as tiresome as it was pathetic. For a while, Daisuke said nothing as he waited for him to compose himself, seemingly letting him speak on his own accord instead of coaxing him over and over to vent.

Kenta rubbed his eyes and temples firmly. "It's my fault," he muttered, shrugging away Daisuke's hand as he turned. "I brought all this on myself. I say something and think I can commit to it, but in the end I just chicken out, or mess up big time instead."

Daisuke nodded. "It's Monika, isn't it?"

Kenta glanced over at his friend, unsurprised that he had guessed correctly. "I'm never good at hiding things, huh?"

"Well, you could only be this stressed out and shut out if it's got something to do with her," said Daisuke. "If it was about the exams, we'd be hearing from you for weeks. No one complains about stuff like you do."

A snort of laughter burst from Kenta's nostrils. The mirth surprised him for a moment, given that it had been days since he felt any such feeling. "One of the few things I'm good at," he admitted. "Yeah, it's about Monika again. And her mom."

Daisuke nodded. "So what happened?"

"You're gonna laugh at how lame it sounds."

"Everyone thinks their problems are lame until they let someone know about them."

This time, Kenta managed to grin. "Now that's some serious mature stuff right there. It's not often I get to hear you saying crap like that," he quipped.

"Is it that bad?" asked Daisuke, smiling back.

"You tell me," said Kenta with a short laugh. He savored the warmth in the atmosphere for a few more moments, knowing that the next few minutes would likely take a toll on his emotions. Still, for whatever it was worth, he was grateful that his frustration had eased away somewhat, leaving only the anxiousness that came with confronting uncomfortable truths.

With a sigh, he leaned back against the walls of the house. "I talked to her mom again," he finally admitted. "Monika and I were supposed to meet up after the debate club's test run for the national competition. She asked me to see her that morning and talked to me about it. She wanted some company. I knew it could get her into trouble if her mom found out, but I decided to risk it in the end because of how much she was looking forward to it. Only problem is, her mom came over to school to pick her up, and she ran into me."

"Did she know why you were there?"

"Even if she didn't, she guessed it correctly. I mean, it's pretty obvious since I was one of the few guys still in the school then, and I'm not exactly the kind of guy who looks like he's in any sort of club. Besides, one look at my face would've given it away quick."

Daisuke grimaced. "She didn't yell at you, did she?"

"It would've been better if she did," said Kenta with a bitter smile. "She didn't exactly start off by scolding me. Instead, she . . . she told me about what she has planned for Monika. College and Osaka and future work, basically. I always thought that nothing good's gonna come from Monika moving to Osaka, but after a few days of thinking about it . . . I don't think I have any right to say that it shouldn't happen. Her mom just wants the best for her, so she can't afford any more distractions. The debate competition this January, that's just one part of it, and a lot more will come after that. I've thought about it. Graduation, college, job training, stuff like that. If I cause her to mess up with any of those, what's gonna happen to her? I'm not gonna wait for a slacking dolt like me to put her future in trouble like that."

"Hey, come on, don't think of it like that," said Daisuke. "You're not a bad influence on Monika. It's not like you're coming over and asking her to skip class or debate club practice to go out. You're actually helping her deal with her stress by keeping her company, remember?"

"But that's not gonna last forever," Kenta pressed. "Senior year's gonna be rough for everyone, but she's gonna have it a lot tougher if she's gunning for some big university in Osaka. She's gonna need some really good grades to get into that kind of school, which is why her mom wants to help her focus and make sure that her records are perfect. Just because she's a top achiever doesn't mean she can't fall behind when someone distracts her from schoolwork." He closed his eyes, as if he was dealing with a spasm of pain. "Her mom asked me about my folks too. Told me how they only want what's best for us, their kids, and she's not wrong. When it comes to the people who matter a lot to us, we only want what's best for them. You hear that kind of stuff in movies and shows, but it doesn't mean it ain't true. It hit so close to home, when I remember what my mom and dad have done for me and my sister. I mean, how can you even go against something like that, man? I want what's best for Monika too, but this ain't as easy as deciding that what I want is better than what her folks want."

Daisuke could only watch and listen as he spoke, and when he opened his mouth but failed to say anything else, Kenta knew then that his miserable musings have proven true. Once again, the insurmountable reality of life seemed to prevail over them, throwing upon them with harsh clarity the actuality of their respective situations, and Kenta wanted nothing more than to punch the nearest wall he could, if only to show what he thought of such. Still, a broken fist would be a poor addition to his list of problems.

"I don't think there's anything I can do anymore, man," he said dejectedly. "It's better that she doesn't know. That way, she can just focus on the exams and the competition."

After a while, Daisuke finally managed to speak. "I don't think so."

"What do you mean?"

"You have to talk to Monika."

Kenta scoffed. "Didn't I just say—?"

"I know what you said," said Daisuke, cutting across him, "but if there's anyone who deserves to know about this, it's her. 'It's better that she doesn't know?' Bro, she needs to know exactly what it is that's bothering you. Keeping her in the dark won't do you both any good. I mean, how long has this been going on? A few days? A week? Have you ever wondered what she's been thinking or feeling all this time, with you staying away while she thinks something went wrong?"

A bitter sigh escaped Kenta's lips. "I think about that every damn day," he said grudgingly.

"Then you know that you have to do something. Part of your problem right now is that she's unaware of all this, because you never told her in the first place. What if she talks to you out of nowhere? What're you gonna do then? What would you tell her? She'd want the truth from you, and not just stuff that'll cover up what her mom actually told you. Tell her what's up. Tell her why you've been staying away. Don't wait for her to be the one to come to you. If it reaches that point . . . it means she's had enough about all this. What's gonna stop that from distracting her from what she needs to do?"

The words sent a stab of pain through Kenta. The rest of his woes were turning out to be true, and again he imagined just how Monika might have reacted when he decided to desert her on the day of her club's evaluation. Few messages had come from her since that day, and none of them really assured him that everything was fine.

"What if it goes wrong, though?" he blurted out futilely, before he could let his heart ache with worry any further. "What if it gets her into trouble with her mom?"

"Dude, we went through this already. Her mom doesn't have to know," Daisuke asserted. "And don't forget, Monika was willing to break a few rules herself by talking to you in the first place during the day of her club's test run. She came to you, and this ain't the first time she's done that, right? That says a lot already about just what she thinks, but if you really need to confirm that for yourself . . . well, like I said, go talk to her. I'm sure she'd be more than okay with it. Pick a perfect time and ask her to go somewhere private, where her mom doesn't know. With how busy she is, I'm sure she can come up with an excuse to go to some place. Hell, it'd be better if you talk to her at school during breaks. There's no way her mom would find out if you two saw each other then."

"But what's my endgame gonna be?" Kenta insisted. "It's not like it's gonna magically solve everything. It ain't gonna change what her mom has planned for her."

"No, but it'll help make things easier for Monika because she'd find out then exactly what's wrong," Daisuke shot back, "and she won't have to keep guessing anymore. I don't think her mom ever told her that she ran into you that day, so Monika's a hundred percent unaware as to why you stopped talking to her all over again. This is your chance to let her know. I'm not gonna go ahead and say it'll end well, but you'll rest a lot easier knowing you did something about it instead of letting it stay like this. Akihiro and I told you all this before thinking that you were gonna take the opportunity as encouragement, and I understand why that failed now that I know that something happened. But now, you have to do it. I promise you, keep ignoring your instincts, and things are only gonna get crappier."

Balling his hands into fists, Kenta knew that Daisuke had the right of it, and it frustrated him to no end to realize that in spite of all his concerns about preserving the peace, he was running in circles again. I did this before, he reminded himself. I made the choice to be with her, to help her feel better when she needs it, and I didn't commit to it. Kenta friggin' Yamaguchi, ladies and gentlemen.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" he asked.

Daisuke nodded. "Better than doing nothing," he repeated.

"Ah, dammit. . ." Kenta turned away again, leaning against a wall as he digested the reality of what he was going into. In his mind, his conversation with Mrs. Steinbeck kept flitting back and forth, giving him snippets of her words that he tried to drown out.

"Alright," he said after a while, his voice thick with anxiousness and shame. "Okay, I'll think about it." And no matter what I choose, I'm gonna make sure I commit to it this time, or else I'm gonna jump in the creek.

"Okay." If Daisuke was irked at his tentative answer, he hid it well as he clapped him hard on the shoulder. The gesture gave him a shot of encouragement. "And don't forget, we're here for you, man. Naoki, Akihiro, me, whenever you think you're on your own, just talk to us. We're in this together. It ain't just about fun times, or about jokes."

"I know, I know. I'm gonna try to remember everything you said." Kenta heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry for all this, man. Sometimes I really am the biggest dolt in our team."

"And that's why you're our fearless leader," Daisuke joked. In spite of himself, Kenta laughed at that, and felt grateful for the relief that it brought.

"Anyway, it's getting late, and I'm still needed at the diner," said Daisuke with a quick check of his watch. "I'm gonna go on ahead and say goodbye to your mom. I'll see you at school."

"Yeah, no problem." Kenta bumped fists with him. "Thanks, man. I really appreciate you listening to me and giving me all that advice."

"No problem. Thick and thin, you know that."

"Thick and thin. Just do me one favor, alright? If I mess up again at this level, gimme a solid knock on my big head."

Daisuke laughed. "I'll definitely remember that. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, alright? And don't forget to taste that butadon!"

Kenta hung back as Daisuke went back in the house, processing the facets of the path he was going to take. Unease started to rise within him again, giving him a small but strong dose of trepidation at what was coming as he knew that Monika would resent him for keeping things hidden after all this time. Well, it's not like I don't deserve to get yelled at for not telling her.

When Daisuke had gone, Kenta decided to go back inside the house. His mother was still busy cooking, the butadon still looking as tantalizing as ever on the dinner table. Kenta walked past it and went over to the kitchen. His mother looked up as she heard him approach.

"I thought you were going out?" she asked as she spread a pinch of salt over the vegetables she was tending to.

"Changed my mind," Kenta replied. "Do you need any help? You know I can't cook, but I'll do my best."

His mother raised her eyebrows. "Now that's something new. Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah, yeah. So what'll it be?"

"Hmm. . . Well, if you insist, you can help me by washing the rice."

"Alright." Kenta went over and took the pot his mother had prepared over to the kitchen sink. "Anything else you need help with?" he asked as he filled the pot before him with water.

"I'll be fine. It's you who needs help, I think," his mother said amusedly.

Kenta snapped to. "What do you mean?"

His mother turned to him with her hands on her hips. "You know I could hear every single word that you and Daisuke were saying earlier, right?"

Kenta stared at her for a few moments before heaving a big sigh. "I didn't know we were talking that loud."

"That's alright. It's not like the neighbors are going to complain," said his mother with a titter. Her mirth mellowed into curious concern as she looked upon him. "So what's this about needing to talk to a girl? It's that same girl who went here before, right? Monika, was it?"

"Yeah, that's her. . ." Kenta muttered, feeling self-conscious and sullen once again as he mixed the rice in the pot around. Talking to Daisuke had been difficult enough, but opening up to his mother about Monika was another level of uncomfortable. "Just had some problems with her, and I . . . I think I might've messed things up instead of fixing them."

"So I've heard," his mother said. Having nothing else to say for the nonce, Kenta began mixing more vigorously, causing water to splash across the kitchen sink. Seemingly unabashed by his obvious discomfiture, his mother busied herself for a short while the vegetables on the stove before speaking again, this time on a different tangent. "I remember when your grandmother came home to find your father visiting me at our place. I think that was the first time I've ever seen her react like that. Almost scared your father senseless! She told us that we were too young to be in that kind of relationship, meeting up at each other's home, going out on dates when we should be studying. Of course, she didn't know exactly how many times your father had taken me out on a date until that point, otherwise she would've blown a gasket!" She laughed at that. "In that sense, I can see where that Mrs. Steinberg is coming from."

"It's Steinbeck, Mom," Kenta muttered, dunking the rice in water for a second time.

"Yes, yes. Anyway, what I meant was, parents do tend to get like that. I always thought that your grandmother was too paranoid with the relationship I had with your father. Maybe she thought that he'd steal me away or something farfetched like that. But later on, after your father and I married and had Kanae and you, I eventually understood your grandmother's concerns. As a parent, we only want to guide you with every decision we make. If you see us as killjoys or whatnot, we'd just tell you that it's for your own good. We don't want you making any rash decisions that might compromise your future. You were particularly concerning, young man. Back in middle school, when you were causing trouble left and right, chasing after girls every week, your father and I were worried for you. That's why we took some extra lengths to make sure that you'll get on the right track. I think that Mrs. Steinbeck isn't any different. Of course, I'm not saying your friend Monika needs guiding—from what I've seen from her visit here, she's a perfect example of a model student. So polite and well-mannered, and smart too."

"And her mom doesn't want that to go to waste," Kenta proffered glumly.

"Just so. But . . ." At that, his mother looked upon him with a benign smile. "I found that there are times when young people do know best. Instead of controlling them too much, we should just let them choose for themselves, and enjoy what they've got while they still can. That's how they learn and mature, after all. Before you know it, the years have already gone by, and they'll have missed out on a lot of things if they're held back. We want you to be successful and happy. Take someone's joy away, and you'll only end up hurting them. As strict as your father and I can be with you, we don't want you to ignore your own happiness, and it's easy to see how happy you are with Monika—or how miserable you are without her."

Kenta looked straight into his mother's eyes, but found no words to say in return. "You've grown quite a lot, son," she went on. "You're no longer that hellraising young boy who gets into trouble every other week. Sure, you've had a few hiccups here and there, but I can see how much you've changed. You're starting to become your own man, and making mature decisions that you wouldn't usually choose. The things Monika said when she was here, the stories she told me about you, they surprised me a lot, and in a good way."

She walked closer to him and reached out, cupping his cheek with her hand. "With that said, I want you to stay true to yourself. Keep making the choices that you know are right, but also, don't forsake your joy and peace of mind. If something's bothering you, remember that you can do something about it. Daisuke's right, don't let it eat you up. These are decisions you have to make, and I know that you're aware of what you need to do, deep down. Listen to your friends and loved ones, but most of all, listen to yourself. Don't hold yourself back just because you think the first step will make everything fall apart. It's always better to take that chance instead of letting it slip past you."

Kenta bowed his head, feeling overwhelmed by his mother's concern. "Am I really becoming mature?" he asked glumly. "Are you sure you aren't seeing things wrong?"

His mother shot him a look and pinched his cheek, causing him to wince. "My eyesight isn't that poor yet, young man," she said. "I scold you from time to time, yes, but that doesn't mean I ignore the changes you've had."

"Okay, okay," Kenta cried out, his cheek throbbing from the pinch. "Sorry, it's just that when I screw up, it makes me think that I'm still a long way off from being a mature guy. In case you forgot, I've been suspended just a couple of months ago for brawling." He shook his head. "Sometimes, I think that her mom found out about that, and that's why she thinks I'm nothing but trouble for her."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't judge a person based on just one incident," his mother declared. "If that Mrs. Steinbeck is as sharp as she looks, she'd see the sense in that. You're just as concerned about her daughter's welfare as she is. If anything, she should be happy that Monika has someone who supports her in another way."

A skeptical chuckle escaped Kenta's lips. "She might not appreciate what you're saying."

"Oh, what she doesn't know won't hurt her," her mother said airily. "Besides, it's plain to see that her daughter wants to follow her own path. She should give Monika some freedom with her choices instead of just dictating everything for her. I know she's doing it to secure her future like any sane parent would do, but if she also takes away what makes her daughter happy, can she really say that she's got every bit of her best interests in mind? Well, don't be so shocked if things end up backfiring on you with that kind of parenting."

"You sound pretty invested in this already," Kenta joked, "defending me and giving me a shot in the arm and all that."

His mother simply laughed at that. "What can I say? I want you to pursue this, so don't count yourself out just yet. A smart and pretty girl like Monika would make a great daughter-in-law, after all," she jested in return.

Kenta felt heat rush to his face at the thought. "Geez, Mom. . ."

"Kidding, kidding," his mother said, laughing at his reaction. "But of course, you can never tell!"

Kenta shook his head. "Let's just forget that last part and finish whatever you're cooking here, alright?" He paused for a moment before adding, "You didn't tell Monika that when she came here to visit, did you?"

"You can ask her if you want," his mother said lightly, the mischief in her eyes betraying no hint as to what the truth was. Knowing that he would get nothing else from her, Kenta grumbled and went back to the pot of rice before him. In spite of his growing anxiousness and his dark mood earlier, however, he felt thankful all the same for everything else that had transpired. After days of delaying what now seemed to be inevitable, with Daisuke's blunt honesty to his mother's unexpected comfort, Kenta knew that he had enough reassurance and encouragement to face what would come. The presence of Mrs. Steinbeck loomed large, and Osaka even larger still, but at the end of it all, Monika stood out more than either of them, though Kenta had yet to see what other shadows would be cast once he came clean to her.

A/N: Another month, another update, another slight delay. My apologies, dear readers. Stuff just keeps happening, and I've been feeling quite anxious after applying for a new job only recently after a long time being unemployed. I cannot say what'll happen next, or how much my writing will be affected if I get hired, but as always I shall do my very best to keep writing for you all, and I'm very grateful for your patience and understanding. Take care of yourselves, see you in the next update!