What is "wasting time"? It makes sense for when one is alive, since there's only a set amount till we die. But when you're dead that means nothing. You're already dead. As an apparent Sinner, I can never die of hunger, be cut in half and other unfortunate things. It's not like there's a rush to get anything done. In a normal setting that would apply. However, one can die even in Hell. The clock tower ticks towards an event I dubbed "Judgement Day". It's when those fucking Exterminators descend here and game end you permanently. No double hell. You cease to exist. Those angels ain't how they portray them back home. Maybe they just look that way to be more intimidating.
"Hey! Are you even listening?" Mox breaks my thoughts. "Did you get the arrows?"
"Yup." I show him the bag. We were buying supplies for future jobs.
Me and Moxxie are walking on the street. Usual traffic, pedestrians not giving a fuck, a demon baby is eating a demon cat...No different from Earth. We've been quiet the whole time. Not like there's anything to talk about. We're just coworkers. Even though he seems the reasonable one of the group, he made it clear on my first day that our relationship is strictly professional. Fine by me. If there's something I learned down here, when someone sees the opportunity to backstab, they'll do it.
"Oh crumbs!" Mox curses.
"What's up?"
"Today is our anniversary and I don't have anything to give to Millie." He pulls out his wallet and it's empty.
"Bummer, dude." Should've bought something for her when ya had a chance…*Violet* HNGH! What's this sensation in my chest!? Is this empathy? I thought I lost this feeling months ago! "Fine. I'll help you out." He looks at me with doubt, but I keep walking. "I know a place that's cheap." Moxxie is hesitant but follows me.
Rosie's Emporium
"This place does not look cheap." Mox says looking at the expensive looking store.
"I mean yea, but I know a guy that can hook us up." I gaze at the clocktower. "It's almost closing time. He should be in the back." We move around the building and find my guy throwing away inventory. "Yo Qwais!" His ears perk up and turn dramatically to face us.
That's Qwais Saad. A muslim hellhound. The only reason I know that is because he just randomly brought it one time. I think he's a little special upstairs, considering he barely emotes and has that stone face the whole time. He only has a cool jean jacket. His black fur is constantly flowing on the top of his head as if it were on fire. His scarlet eyes scans me and then turns to Mox.
"Who's the imp?" He asks in his usual monotone...tone.
*Blue* "He is a coworker of mine. I finally found a job!" I say.
"Is that so? Good for you." Hm? Did I catch a minuscule hint of sadness in his voice? Must be my imagination.
"Thank you. Anyways, we've come here to ask if you can hook us up with something. Today is this man's anniversary with his dearly beloved!" I pat his back. Qwais opens the bags. "Met this guy back when I used to live in the streets. He would give me props that would help me get by." I explain.
"Not much today. Only got wilting roses that makes anyone who smells them a sex fiend for a whole day."
*Green* "Ooooh. That may be useful." I yoink the bag for myself.
"I also have a white bed sheet that confirms one's virginity. If you're not one, the blood disappears." Qwais proves it by nipping his thumb and spreading his blood on it. After a second, the stain disappears.
"Yoooo! That is really good! You don't gotta worry about cleaning up after a rough session anymore." I elbow the little imp.
"I don't know." Mox still has doubts.
"Come on man! You got anything better than that in our current financial situation?"
"...No."
"I'm sure she'll love it." I grab the sheet. *Pink* "Thank you man! I'll talk to you later." I wave goodbye and we leave on our merry ways.
The cold Hunt
"We can go through here to get to the office quicker." Oh no. He points at the park.
*Yellow* "A-Are you sure? I don't mind taking the detour around. H-Hehehe."
"What's wrong with you?" He raises an eyebrow.
"N-N-Nothing! I just think that there are better ways than here." He's not buying it. I just don't want to stumble upon that crazy woman. But I haven't seen her since Judgement day, so maybe the Exterminators finally got her.
"If it's a problem, then we can take another route." Look at how considerate this imp is actually being!
*Orange* "No no! I'm being on edge for no reason. I'm sure you want to spend your special day with Millie." Rrrgh! I thought I lost my ability to care about others! Whatever. If we speed walk, we can make it out in ten minutes.
And so, we enter the den of the beast. At least, I hope the beast is dead. We follow the path. The bushes and trees aren't making this journey any less peaceful as I scan for any movement.
"Did it get colder all of a sudden?" Moxxie shivers. We can see our breaths.
*Burgundy* "What!?" I frantically look around me. The trees are slowly freezing behind us. I can make out something in between the treelines. It looks like a ten foot figure with what seems to be a bird skull for a head and dead tree branches as horns. It's beady blue eyes are fixated on me. *Scarlet* "Oh shit! Fucking dip, Moxxie!" I start sprinting and he follows suit. Then a howling screech pierces in the air.
"W-W-What was that!?" He says.
"I don't know! All I know is that we're dead meat if we stop!" *Blinking Red* My body reacts by itself and I grab Moxxie to lunge each other backward. A stream of ice blast across the path, freezing everything in its way. *Burgundy* Had we kept going, we would've been hit by it.
"What is going on!? I am so confused! Wh-H-Why!?" Oh god! He's hyperventilating. I smack his face.
"Deep breaths! We only have moments before it attacks again!" He starts breathing hard. "I've noticed that my scales become a detector to incoming threats. So just follow my lead, okay?" He shakily nods. *Scarlet* "Grab the sheet and let's go!"
"B-But what about the grocery!?"
"Fuck it! We can buy more later!" We keep running and another screech is let out by the creature. I can see the silhouette of the monster on all fours on my left keeping up with us. It gets closer.
*Blinking Red* "DUCK!" Me and Moxxie drop on the ground and the thing flies past above us with sickening speed, I only saw a blur. *Burgundy* "GO GO GO!" I only shout to keep the adrenaline going for the both of us.
"Why don't you use your ability to get away!?"
"Believe it or not, I can't see shit in the darkness. I have to memorize the layout in the room to not trip on shit. If I use the spotlights, we would be giving our position away. Not to mention, I don't know if this thing can see or use other means to navigate in the dark." *Scarlet* I can see a clearing up ahead. "Which means that we're fucked no matter how you look at it and our only chance is to keep running!" *Blinking Red* I grab and hold Mox tightly to my chest. A giant claw swipes in front of us! I jump forward and manage to slip through the gap. *Burgundy* I roll and recover never losing the momentum. We finally make it to the clearing, where other demons are doing their usual activities. I drop him and we collapse on the ground regaining our breath.
"W-We are never coming through here ever again." Moxxie says getting up.
"Agreed." He helps me steady myself as I stand. *Scarlet* "OH NOOOOOO!" The monster jumps out in the open, causing everyone to panic. Now that I have a better look of it, the monster is wearing a tattered blue dress and it's white feathers have black spots. Kinda like…"Shirley?" She locks her eyes at me and screeches. "Get out here! She's only after me!"
"But!" *Blinking Red* She lunges at me with her beak and I sidestep out of the way, but her claws manage to scrape my chest!
"Ah! Just fucking go! You got someone special that awaits your return!" *Brown* I take a battle stance. "I've got some unfinished business with her." Moxxie is conflicted, but finally heeds my words and runs. Now it's me and her.
Lights out
The Sin-Eating Glutton: Shirley Kaiser
Jojo DiU - Sudden Battle
Spotlights shine upon Daniel and Shirley.
Daniel: *Red* I'm going to show you what happens when you fuck a thespian in the ass!
Shirley: DaNiEEREEEEEL!
She spews ice breath at him. He jumps over the mist, but slips on his ass because the ground is frozen. He tries to regain his balance, but keeps stumbling. He's a sitting duck! She runs up to him and flings Daniel up in the air. He falls with his destination being the mouth of the beast below. She tries to snap her beak shut, but Daniel holds it in place with his hands and feet. She licks his entire body.
Daniel: *Green* Yuck! This definitely is not a kink of mine.
He uses his tail to pull out the knife in his pocket and stabs her tongue. She flails around in pain and growls. He can see the mist forming at the back of her mouth. If he lets go, he will be eaten. But if he doesn't, he will be frozen solid and be eaten. Daniel is completely defenseless!
Daniel: *Gray* Guess this is where the show ends…
He closes his eyes, accepting his fate. A shot is fired and Shirley throws Daniel to the ground as she writhes in pain. He can see her left eye bleeding black blood.
Daniel: What the hell?
A spotlight shines on the savior. It's Moxxie with a sniper!
Daniel: *Yellow* Moxxie! *Runs towards him* Even though I told you to leave me, you still came back?
Moxxie: Well yeah. We're a team. It should be no surprise that we have each other's back. *Looks away while blushing* And this is also paying back for everything earlier.
Daniel is moved by his good nature and hugs him tightly while crying.
Daniel: *Pink* I'm sorry I ever doubted you! You're such a good person, despite being from Hell! Waaaaaa!
Moxxie: Okay! Okay!
Their moment is ruined by Shirley freezing the ground Daniel is standing on, freezing his feet in place.
Moxxie: Oh crumbs! You have to pull yourself out quickly!
Daniel doesn't respond and has a determined expression.
Vento Aureo - Bullet
Daniel: Give me a bullet.
Moxxie: Huh?
Daniel: No time to explain! Give me a bullet!
Moxxie pulls out his magazine and hands it to him.
Daniel: *White* With this, our victory is assured.
He bites his thumb and coats the bullet with his white blood. He hands it back.
Moxxie: Eugh. What do you want me to do with this?
Daniel: To shoot her with it. Duh.
Shirley screeches and starts running towards them. Moxxie quickly loads it and aims, but is shaking too much from the fear and nervousness. Daniel puts one hand on Mox's waist, while the other holds his hand on the trigger.
Daniel: Relax. Control your breath. The moment you doubt yourself, you've lost. *Gets closer to his face* Now focus on the target that stands in the way of your future with Millie.
Upon hearing her name, he composes himself and steadies his aim. Shirley is charging closer. Moxxie shoots and the bullet hits directly at her heart. She hollers and shrills in pain. Then...silence. Shirley is standing still with a thousand yards stare.
Daniel: No jodas con los diablos de I.M.P!
Show's over
*Yellow* "Woohoo! Fuck yea! That was awesome!" I celebrate our victory! Mox collapses from the mental exhaustion. "Yo man? You alright?"
"A hah. I'm...fine." He wheezes and pants. Hm? Shirley is shrinking? Her features are becoming less feral the smaller she gets, until she reverts back to her normal form.
I can see her blue dress with white feather fluff is still intact. Her eyeliner really complements her blue eyes. Black gloves and blue heels with blue stockings really goes well with her gray hair and skin. Honestly, she's very good looking. If she wasn't fucking insane!
"Hey. What happened to her?" Mox asks while recovering.
*Blue* "For some reason, anyone who ingests my blood will experience extreme emotional overload depending on the color. Red is anger, blue is sadness, you get the idea. Now white causes anyone to have no thoughts and be at peace. That's why she's standing there drooling." The ice is finally melting. Shit! It hurts.
"Here. Let me clean it off." Mox is about to use the sheet!
*Pink* "H-Hold on! Don't us-!" It's too late. He wipes the blood off my feet. The pink stains are not going away. We stare at each for a moment.
"Daniel."
"Yes?"
"Are you a-"
"I am." We have an awkward silence. Hm? I feel pressure on my back. I check behind to see Shirley with her beak on my tail. She smirks and rips half of it! *Rainbow* "AAAAAAAAH! OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!" I don't care anymore! I grab the sheet to stop the bleeding! She slurps my severed tail like a spaghetti!
"Mmmm~! I needed that." She licks the blood off her beak. "Oh Danny boy! How I've missed the taste of your pure sweet flesh. I hope to see you again soon, or else I will be looking for seconds! Kekeke!" She laughs and leaves.
Trotting to the Lonesome Road
Welp. We lost our groceries, the gift is ruined and my tail is gone. Sure, it'll grow back, but the fact she chomped it off again isn't making the day any better. Biggest waste of time in my dead life. Fuck what I said in my monologue. I look up at the clocktower. Six thirty. The office should be closed by now and Blitzo is the only with the keys. That means I have nowhere to sleep tonight...again. I don't know where I'm going. Been following Mox the whole time, but I'm sure he has plans for today.
*Blue* "Hey. I'm sorry about today." I speak up.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it." He says. I stop.
"I think this is where we split paths."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm assuming you're going home to spend time with Millie. I need to start looking for a place to sleep before it gets late." He looks at me confused.
"Oh. I thought you were going to stay at my home for the night."
*Pink* "Thanks for the offer, but I don't want to impose. It's fine though. Not the first time I've slept in the streets." Although, that was not a pleasant experience.
"No way! If there's something I learned from today, it's that I can trust you." He turns his back. "W-Well umm You're...How do I put this…" I can tell he's struggling to find the word.
"You mean...like a friend?"
"Y-Yeah. A friend I can trust." Uh oh. Here comes the waterworks. Fuck it. I hug him tightly.
"You're too wholesome for this hellhole!"
"Argh! I told you t-Ah screw it." He accepts it and pats my back. Perhaps my humanity was never lost after all. I just needed to find someone to invigorate it. Now I need someone to invigorate my patience to not cut that bird bitch into a million pieces!