Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater
(featuring the Kuga-Fujino family pets)
"Ah!" Kazuo Hiiragi gasped, sitting bolt upright in bed.
"Kazuo, what's wrong?" his wife asked. Her voice was bleary with impending sleep, but her concern was still plain to hear.
"I completely forgot!"
The twenty-eight-year-old salaryman fumbled for his glasses, then looked at the digital clock by his bedside. "Eleven-twenty-three," he read with relief. "There's still enough time."
"Enough time for what?"
"I'm sorry, Mina." Hiiragi threw back the covers and clambered out of bed, fumbling at the buttons of his pajama jacket. "I need to go in to the plant."
"At this time of night?"
"It's that favor I promised Miss Fujino," he explained, scrambling for his clothes. "I got so caught up in that mess with our chief supplier that it entirely slipped my mind!"
"So do it tomorrow morning," Mina suggested. "Clip a note to the top stack of papers in your briefcase so it'll remind you, then come back to bed."
"No, I can't. The delivery trucks leave the plant at one-thirty a.m. on the dot. If I wait until tomorrow morning, it'll be too late."
"So apologize to her and tell her it'll be a week late. It's not like this is some kind of special job for your boss. I'm not even sure the company would want you doing this, at least not without them getting paid for a special order or something."
Kazuo stiffened up, the very picture of affronted dignity despite his tie dangling loose and his having one leg in and one leg out of his pants.
"Mina, it is the honor of the Hiiragi family to be of loyal service to the Fujinos."
"You told me that once already. But this isn't the Heian period any more, your family aren't vassals, and the Fujinos aren't nobility any more, just an ordinary middle-class family that happens to have a lot of history."
Her husband shook his head firmly.
"There is so much more to it than that. The ties between liege lord and retainer transcend time and changes of government. Were I to treat Miss Fujino's request as if it were no more than a casual favor—or worse yet, as if she were a business customer—I would shame countless generations of my ancestors!"
Mina stared at him for at least ten seconds before reaching a conclusion.
"...You are such an idiot." She dropped back down onto the pillow and made a shooing motion with her hand. "Fine, go and do your silly little errand, and try not to wake up the whole neighborhood when you come home."
"Thank you, Mina."
Mina made a mental note to check with her mother about if teaching their children this silliness was sufficient grounds to whack Kazuo silly with an oven mitt. Even so, she was still more than a bit curious about the whole thing.
"Tell me, Kazuo..."
"Yes, dear?" he said meekly, aware that he was already on shaky ground.
"What on earth could Miss Fujino possibly need that was so important that she'd invoke a thousand-year-old family tie just to get a favor from the plant manager of a fortune cookie company?"
~X X X~
"Ookini, Kiyohime," Shizuru Fujino said as her hydra passed her a fortune cookie. Shizuru deftly tore open the cellophane packet, broke open the treat, and extracted the slip of paper from inside. She nibbled on the cookie while she unfolded the fortune and read her fate.
"Well, what does it say?" Nastuki Kuga asked.
"'Our happiness is greatest when we contribute most to the happiness of others,'" she read, and beamed at her girlfriend. "Clearly, I am meant to pay special attention to Natsuki's happiness."
"The last time you paid special attention to my happiness I was walking funny for the rest of the weekend," Natsuki grumbled.
"Natsuki has such a salacious mind! Why, I did not even mention the topic of making love and you immediately thought of it!"
Not only Natsuki, but even Duran and Kiyohime rolled their eyes at that one.
"My household always thinks the worst of me," Shizuru pouted.
"That's because we know you."
"But you love me anyway."
"Well, duh."
"Then everything's all right, then." Smiling in a way that her fan club would never believe their idol capable of, Shizuru began crawling around the table. "And now, shall we get started on Natsuki's happiness?"
"A-aren't you supposed to wait fifteen minutes after eating before exercise?"
"That's only an old wives' tale, Na-tsu-ki." She breathed the last word into Natsuki's ear.
"S-Shizuru!"
"It's never wise to fight destiny."
"Wait a second," Natsuki said, pushing Shizuru back. She was soft under Natsuki's hand, and Natsuki wondered idly what it would be like to lick the leftover sweet-and-sour sauce off of her naked body. Stupid libido! she thought, flushing at the imagery. It's like Shizuru's contagious or something. "I-if it's destiny we're talking about, we haven't even found out what mine is."
Shizuru pouted again.
"Ikezu. It is not fair when Natsuki uses logic to counter my arguments."
"Deal with it," Natsuki said, and snatched up her own cookie. She hastily broke it open, dropping the pieces on the table while taking out the fortune. Kiyohime's fourth and fifth heads did not let opportunity pass them by, crunching happily.
"Well, what does it say?"
Natsuki sighed and tossed the fortune over her shoulder.
"'Avoid senseless contradictions with others.' Ah, well, if I hadn't figured things would end up like this I wouldn't have worn my black lace merrywidow under my uniform."
Squeeing in happiness, Shizuru pounced, bearing an unresisting Natsuki down to the rug while the pets headed for the back yard.
"I just wish," Natsuki murmured between kisses, "that I knew how it was that every fortune cookie we get basically reads 'go make love with your sweetheart'?"
~X X X~
A/N: The first completed story of the new year! I guess I'm working under the principle that you can't beat the classics...or something like that. As always, all fortunes are taken from real life cookies that came in my wife and my Chinese take-out. And, a merrywidow is an actual piece of lingerie, something that Shizuru would definitely approve of!