Omake Week 2015, Day 4: The challenge with these fortune-cookie stories is breaking them up by several months. I get interesting fortune cookies from Chinese take-out much more often than I, say, come up with a good idea for something funny involving or Miroku. I have actual fortune-cookie story backlog.
~X X X~
Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater
(featuring the Kuga-Fujino family pets)
Shizuru Fujino broke open her fortune cookie, extracted the slip of paper, and opened her mouth to read her fortune aloud. Natsuki Kuga glanced at her girlfriend with slight trepidation. Even the pets looked up, having learned that this moment in the dinner was generally followed by the humans tumbling to the floor, running off to the bedroom, or otherwise completely losing track of what was happening to the leftovers.
Then Shizuru put the fortune aside and made use of her open mouth by popping the cookie pieces inside and chewing. Natsuki looked at Duran in confusion. Kiyohime's heads shared puzzled glances with each other. Shizuru chewed, swallowed, and reached for her teacup without saying a word.
"Okay, I'll bite," Natsuki displayed the reckless courage ordinarily associated with special forces operatives, people who parachute into hot zones to fight wildfires, and anyone who tried to keep up with Youko Sagisawa in a drinking bout. "Why haven't you read off your fortune yet? Isn't the world waiting to see how the mystic powers of destiny have decreed that you should make love to me on the kitchen counter?"
Shizuru tipped her head to one side.
"I had not considered that particular option. It has been some time since the dishwashing incident. Was Natsuki making a suggestion?"
"No, Natsuki was not making a suggestion—and I still say that you held the plate to spray water and soak my T-shirt on purpose."
"Surely one's guilt or innocence in such a matter now lies buried in the mythic past where fact and legend merge to become one and truth is a concept forever lost?"
"…It was last Tuesday, and you owe me a new camisole."
"Ikezu. But still, I do not require a factory-printed instruction to make me want to make love to my Natsuki."
"Wow, you finally got one that even you can't twist into a salacious remark? That's got to be some kind of record."
Duran and Kiyohime both stared at Shizuru, slack-jawed, which in Kiyohime's case meant quite a lot of slack, given her six jaws.
"Et tu, Kiyohime?" Shizuru said, pouting, which made the hydra's fifth head snicker.
"Well, I'm not going to complain," Natsuki decided. "I'm dead tired after all the work I did helping the student council set up the motocross course. When she wants to be, Yukino's a worse slavedriver than Haruka ever imagined being. I'm not even on the council, but no, I've got biking experience, so I have to pitch in for everybody's sake. Life was a lot easier when I didn't care about social obligations!" she griped.
"But what about Natsuki's obligations to the innocent girlfriend she has corrupted and teased into a state of desperate agitation?"
"When did I do that?"
"When you first came home," Shizuru said. "You still had your biking outfit on, and you bent over to take off your boots in the entryway. It was quite an eye-catching sight."
"Geez, Shizuru!" Natsuki yelped, suddenly blushing like she'd used to back when they'd first been going out and Shizuru had delighted in teasing her crimson at every available opportunity. "You make it sound like I was doing it on purpose!"
"And you were not?"
"No."
"No?"
"Definitely not!"
Shizuru leaned over and began to crawl towards Natsuki.
"My beautiful Natsuki, who knows well the effect her body has upon me, who delights in swathing herself in the most delicate and tempting confections of lace and satin, in no way sought to send out her lures to me, knowing that I am utterly vulnerable to her charms?"
"Don't be ridiculous, S-Shizuru," Natsuki babbled as the older girl advanced relentlessly. The deep red of Shizuru's eyes, she thought, was perfectly suited to the raw heat she saw in them. In the next moment, Shizuru reached her, arms coming up to close around Natsuki.
"Too bad."
Her lips flicked from their sham pout into a wicked smile for just a moment before they closed over Natsuki's. With gentle pressure Shizuru urged Natsuki's mouth open to admit her tongue.
Upon further reflection, Natsuki decided that she wasn't all that tired after all.
~X X X~
An hour later, Natsuki sat up and stretched.
"Geez, I had to take a shower right after I got home, and now I need another one. I'm gonna shrivel into a prune."
"Mmm, in that case, perhaps I should join you, just to make certain that I have it all out of my system and do not urge you to require a third later on?" Shizuru traced a finger down Natsuki's spine, making the biker shiver.
"Did you ever have the shower head reinforced? Because I would rather be celibate for a year than have to explain—again—to a plumber how it got broken."
"Natsuki was very valiant to do that."
"Yeah, well, I was home and you had class to get to, which is about how my luck runs."
"I truly did have class that day, Natsuki. It was not an excuse to make you do something embarrassing." A trace of worry had crept into Shizuru's voice.
"Idiot; I know that." Natsuki paused for a moment before she continued, "If you'd been teasing, you'd have figured out a way to be there to watch."
"Ikezu," Shizuru accused, but she giggled while saying it, which made Natsuki happy. After all, Shizuru wasn't the only one of them who could push their usual banter too far and cause hurt feelings.
"Speaking of meanies," Natsuki said, glancing over the table, "I see that Duran and Kiyohime weren't so eager to give us some privacy that they didn't stop and clean us out of fried rice and dumplings first. One of these days we have to start putting the leftovers away before after-dinner sex. Oh, hey, lemme see what your fortune was." She picked up the discarded slip. "Hm, 'People learn little from success, but much from failure.'" Natsuki looked down at her naked body and thought for a moment about how it had come to be in that condition. "Well, I can see why you didn't read it out. That one's plainly full of it."
"Oh? Why does Natsuki say that?"
"Because if that were true, you wouldn't know how to read and I'd know enough by now to say heck with high school and collect my doctorate!"