A.N: Spoilers up to chapter 112. Also, this is a humor one shot, the kind of humor that is not for everyone. You have been warned.

Surprise in the Kitchen

Grior sighed as he stomped back towards the kitchen. The customers had fortunately all left by now, but there was still a lot of cleaning to do. But he refused to do it all alone, so where the hell was Nikolo? He couldn't find the guy anywhere!

"He better not be wasting time with that girl again" Grior thought "He's getting too attached, especially considering the fact that she's an Eldian."

Grior lets out a sigh as he comes to the kitchen door, about to open it when he hears noises from the inside.

"So, he was in the kitchen all along" Grior wonders and almost pushes the door handle down, but stops himself as he realizes that the voices from inside are too frequent and loud. Nikolo wasn't alone "Did Yelena come over? Or is it that girl again?"

As far as Grior knew, Yelena was under tight watch so it was unlikely she'd show up at night. Maybe it was just the girl.

"Hm?" Grior pressed his ear against the door, thinking he'd just heard something rather questionable. Was it just his imagination? Concentrating, he furrowed his brow. There it was again; now he was sure of it. He was hearing moaning from the kitchen.

"Nikolo, for God's sake" he thought as he backed away from the door in disgust. Being a little friendly with the Eldians he could overlook, but this? This was going too far. Besides, what would Nikolo do if the other soldiers found out and accused him of forcing himself on the girl? If it looked like the girl would get in trouble, Grior highly doubted she'd back the other man up. Nikolo wasn't thinking at all, was he?

"What're you doing?" Grior almost jumped because of the voice, having not heard her co- wait. Turning his head, Grior saw Sasha standing there in front of him, looking at him curiously with her head tilted to the side. But if she was there, then who the hell was in the kitchen with Nikolo? Or was Nikolo there at all in the first place, could it be some other people?

"I thought you were in there with Nikolo" he confessed as a whisper, pointing at the door "But since you're here, who's he with?"

Sasha blinked before she went over to the door, pressing her ear against it the way she'd seen Grior doing it when she arrived. Not long after she backed away, giving Grior a disturbed look.

"You thought I was in there with Nikolo?" she hissed, fortunately remembering to keep her voice down.

"With how much time you spend here with him can you really blame me?" Grior asked, crossing his arms.

"I come here for food!" Sasha hissed, rolling her eyes "I mean for Nikolo too, he's a great guy, but I'm not even in to guys in such a way!"

"…" Grior had to admit that was not something he had expected to hear. And apparently it was not something Sasha had expected herself to tell him either as she soon covered her mouth, looking at him with wide eyes "Don't tell anyone I told you that!"

"Your secret is safe with me" mostly because it wouldn't benefit him in any way, but also because he was sure Sasha would find a way to get back at him if he told her secret to someone.

They stood there for a while, a little awkwardly he supposed, before a wicked grin game to Sasha's face. He raised a cautious eyebrow, wondering what the devil's spawn had in mind.

"Wanna find out who it is?" she asked, jerking her head towards the door. Grior thought about it; part of him really didn't, it's not like it was even any of his business, but then again, he and Nikolo were stuck in this mess together; it'd be better for him to know what the guy was up to.

"How do we do it without them noticing?"

"Who says we have to do it that way?" Sasha asks, the grin not leaving her face "Just follow my lead."

The girl is at the door before Grior can stop her. Swinging the door open with a bang, Sasha greets: "Good evening Nikolo and- huh- wah- Jean!?"

Grior came in too, and he too saw the squad leader, he was pretty sure that's what the man's rank was, in the room with Nikolo and in a rather… awkward position.

"…Don't you two know how to knock!?" Nikolo was the first to recover from the awkward surprise. Grior felt like banging his head on a table, not the one where Nikolo and the Eldian soldier were banging each other on mind you, because he was so done with getting pulled in to other people's shit. Well, at least Nikolo didn't need to fear getting blamed about taking advantage of someone; the Eldian was way too strong for anyone to believe that, that Grior knew.

"Don't you two know that this stuff is usually not done in the kitchen?" Grior asked back in a calm, steady voice. Thank god for his military trained poker face "On second thought, don't answer that. Just clean this place thoroughly once you're done; I don't want to find any unpleasant surprises when I work."

He turned to leave, not waiting for the pair's response, but he caught a sight of Sasha still standing there, mouth hanging open as she stared at the two. A moment of unintended kindness coming to him, Grior dragged the girl out of the door with him before slamming it shut.

A.N: Did you think it was going to be another NikoSasha one? Sorry to disappoint you, but you gotta admit that NikoJean works too. :D