The pump worked quickly, which was good because the generator spooked Omid. Clementine and Sarah took turns filling the gas cans while the other looked after the frightened baby boy. The small bit of gas Clem salvaged ran the generator long enough to fill nearly five cans worth of gasoline. Breaking to shake the gas out of the hoses and feed Omid, the girls gassed up the generator again and started harvesting the much-needed diesel they had so badly wanted.
It went so well that after managing to get Omid down for a nap while the generator was running, Sarah returned to the auto shop to retrieve even more yellow diesel cans once they filled the six they originally took. She left again right after bringing more back, much to Clem's surprise. The diesel kept flowing as the sun started to set. It felt satisfying to watch those cans fill up, but after a while, Clem started to wonder about Sarah. They were up to twenty filled cans before Clem finally spotted the older girl approaching.
"What is all that?" asked Clem as Sarah pulled a rope that somehow dragged a bounty of goods up to the younger girl.
"Things we'll need, here." Sarah handed Clem a black plastic cube with a cord attached to it. "Go plug that in."
"What's it for?" asked Clem as she examined the object, noting there were no switches or compartments, just a cord that could be unplugged from the box.
"I'll show you in a minute, just go plug it in." Clem shrugged and hurried inside. She located the nearest outlet and plugged in the device. A small red light came on, but nothing else happened. Walking back outside, Clem found Sarah dragging the things she collected towards the back of the Brave. They weren't sitting on a cart, but some flat device that rolled along the ground. Seeing another can was almost full, Clem quickly swapped the hose into an empty one, then darted around the Brave after Sarah.
"What is all this stuff?" asked Clem as she approached Sarah.
"Stuff we can use." Sarah held up a pair of respirators, much like the one Cruz had been wearing. "I found these in the back."
"Cool," said Clem as she admired their new equipment. "Now we don't have to wear those itchy ski masks anymore."
"I also got a lot of things the Brave and the generator need," explained Sarah as she started stowing things into one of the storage compartments. "Motor oil, fuel filters, spark plugs for the generator. Just everything I remembered needing from reading the manuals," explained Sarah as she stuffed a tool into the Brave.
"Taking care of a car is almost as hard as taking care of a baby," mused Clem. "I'm sure glad you're here. You seem to be better at both of them than me."
"I couldn't do it without you," assured Sarah with a smile. "Speaking of which, did you put stabilizer into all the fuel cans?"
"Yeah."
"And you made sure to use the gas stabilizer for the gas cans and the diesel one for the diesel ones?"
"Yeah, just like you told me."
"Good, use this and bring them over." Sarah removed the last few items and Clem saw they had been sitting on a plastic board with wheels attached to it and a rope tied around a handle on one end of it. It looked a little like a skateboard, but fatter and with six wheels instead of four.
"What is that?"
"I found it in the garage. I think mechanics use it to get under cars easier. I figured we can use it to move things easier." Clem took the sliding board by the rope and returned to the pump. After filling its final can, she shut the pump down and started stacking fuel cans on the wheel board. Even with it, she couldn't transport more than a few cans of fuel at a time, necessitating multiple trips.
"How are we going to carry all these?" asked Clem as she brought her second haul of fuel cans to Sarah, noticing the compartment the older girl selected was already full with just six cans.
"The Brave's gas tank holds seventy-five gallons." Sarah attached a nozzle to one of the diesel cans. "So, we'll carry the rest of it in the tank."
"Okay, but what about the extra gas we took? And don't we still have too much diesel? I mean, twenty-two cans, and you put six away—"
"Five, one's a gas can for the generator."
"Okay, that's seventeen then, and there are five gallons in each, so…"
"Eighty-five gallons," answered Sarah as she started pouring fuel into the Brave's tank.
"How do you do that so fast?"
"It's easy. Twenty times five is a hundred. Seventeen is three less than twenty. Three times five is fifteen. A hundred minus fifteen is eighty-five."
"And… that's easy?" asked a confused Clem.
"Yeah."
"Still, that means we've got two extra diesel cans and all the gas ones," said Clem.
"More, the tank was only three quarters empty. So it's more like three or four extra cans of diesel."
"Well that's even more. Where are we going to keep all these?"
"Actually, I think we're going to have to leave them behind," said Sarah as she emptied the first diesel can into the Brave.
"Really? But—"
"With all the stuff we packed, and the things I got today for the Brave, we just don't have room. And I figured as long as we have the pump and the generator, we can always get more diesel later."
"I guess, it just seems like a waste."
"Corporal Cruz said she'd come back in the morning. I figured we could give them to her. She said their scouts sometimes run out of gas."
"Oh yeah, that could work."
"It'd be like giving her a goodbye gift, since I guess we're not going with her now." Sarah set the empty diesel can down and swapped the nozzle onto a full one. "I mean, you didn't change your mind on that, did you? You still want us to stay on our own now that we got plenty of diesel, right?"
"Yeah, I do, but…"
"But?"
"Do you want to go with her?" asked Clem, afraid of what Sarah would say.
"Actually, I feel pretty good right now," admitted Sarah. "Now that we won't have to worry about diesel, I'm kinda excited."
"You're excited?" asked Clem in disbelief.
"Well, I'm a little scared too. But with all this diesel, and us knowing how to get more, we could start going really far, and maybe find somewhere where things are okay, or just another place with lots of food like where we stayed before. It's… exciting."
"Yeah," smiled Clem. "It is." Working together, the girls finished fueling up their RV and put up everything they could. Anything they couldn't they left near the front of the gas station. Thanks to the sliding board, moving generator was easier. Clem asked Sarah if they should refill it before they put it up, but Sarah reasoned it would just make it heavier, something Clem was glad Sarah thought of because even lifting it back into its compartment while empty was a Herculean feat for the girls. The sun was setting and Clem was ready to call it a day, but Sarah told her there was one more thing they needed to do.
"So, what's left now?" asked Clem as Sarah stepped out of the Brave.
"Just something really cool I wanted to show you." Clem noticed Sarah was carrying the object she had plugged in earlier.
"What's that?"
"A battery."
"For what?"
"Come see." Sarah led Clem to one of the storage compartments and removed an odd tool.
"What is that?" It looked like an electric drill, except instead of a drill on the end there was a pair of sharp hooks that resembled a bird's beak.
"It's a bolt cutter," announced Sarah as she loaded the battery into it. "And a really good one, I think."
"I don't remember seeing one of those in the store."
"It wasn't in the store, I found it looking around in the garage section. I figured if mechanics used it, it had to be good. I also thought we should test it before we take it with us though. We just need something to try it on."
Clem turned around and honed in on something lying on the pavement. "Let me have it, I know just what I want to test it on." Sarah handed the tool to Clem, who found it surprisingly heavy. Luckily, the tool had a second handle jutting out of the side, which made it easier to carry with both hands. Clementine stepped over to the lid they had ripped off earlier. They had stored the chain, but the lid was still there. Flipping it over, Clem found the stubborn lock still shackled to it.
"Oh that's perfect," said Sarah. "That way we know if it can cut through locks."
"Actually, I just really want to break this damn thing." Clementine positioned the lock between the cutter's blades and squeezed the trigger. The two blades moved very slowly together until they made contact with the lock. After only a second, there was a soft snap and the lock's loop had been cut.
"I like this thing," said Clem as she handed the tool back to Sarah.
"I'll go put it up." Sarah went to store the newest addition to their arsenal while Clem just kept looking at the lock. She removed it from its place on the tank lid and admired her handy work. She slipped the now useless lock into her pocket, thinking it'd make a nice memento, then headed inside with Sarah.
After a long day of working around noxious chemicals while occasionally wearing rancid raincoats, a shower was just what Clem needed. Getting dressed, Clem figured the only cloud hanging over the day was the lack of warm water, but then she opened the bathroom drawer and spotted another one.
The small notebook she had taken from the woman she had shot was still sitting there, as if to force Clem to remember her misdeed. Flipping through it, she saw the word 'clean' written on every page, confirming the woman's connection to Corporal Cruz, as well as telling Clem that whoever she shot went a very long time without finding any food.
"Clem, are you almost done?" called Sarah from outside.
"Um… yeah." Clem pocketed the notebook and stepped out of the bathroom. "Sorry about that. I—"
"It's fine, I just really need to pee." Sarah rushed past Clem and slammed the door closed. Clementine wandered into the bedroom, hoping to spend some time with Omid. But the infant was napping now, leaving Clem alone with her thoughts, which were all about the person who had died at her hands.
Meeting Cruz had put the tragedy in a whole new light for Clem. Despite Cruz's initially intimidating appearance, her sincerity after she saw Omid had convinced Clem that she was probably a good person, and from that Clem assumed so was the younger woman, and that what happened probably happened because she was hungry and scared, not because she wanted to hurt Clementine.
There was still a minor doubt nagging at Clem's assumptions from the back of her mind, knowing people can act friendly while still meaning you harm, and before seeing Omid, Cruz was far less friendly, and was clearly interested in finding out where the rifle Clem had taken had come from. Clem also knew all too well that people can do terrible things when they're angry. But looking at the notebook, the guilt over what Clem did, being so quick to react in the way she had, weighed heavier in her young mind than any doubts right now.
Clem tried telling herself that it wouldn't matter soon. They were leaving soon, Corporal Cruz would go back to her people, and they'd never see each other again. But that train of thought just made her feel even worse. Killing someone Cruz probably knew, then just leaving without ever telling her just made Clem feel sick. Yet this made Clem just want to leave now, so as not to even see Cruz again.
The dilemma tormented Clem as she kept running the incident through her head again and again. She wanted to tell someone, to offload this guilt stewing inside of her, but she was too afraid of the consequences of telling Corporal Cruz or even Sarah. Looking down at the notebook, Clem sighed as a compromise occurred to her. She removed the pen stored in the notebook's loops, flipped to the first empty page, and started writing.
'I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I killed one of your scouts. She had blue eyes and black hair. It was an accident. I didn't mean to. She surprised me and I thought she might hurt me, so I shot her, because I was scared. I know that doesn't make it right. And I know leaving you this note doesn't either. But I wanted you to know the truth. Sarah didn't have anything to do with it, it was all my fault, and I'm also sorry I'm too afraid to tell you all this in person. We'll be gone by the time you read this, and we won't came back. Again, I'm sorry. Clementine.'
Clem looked down at her own handwriting in disbelief. Reading the words 'I shot her' made her feel even sicker, and every time she read the word 'sorry' she just felt like writing it a hundred more times. Unable to bear the sight of her own confession anymore, Clem slammed the notebook closed and hurried outside. She placed it on top of a fuel can they had left in front of the store, reasoning Corporal Cruz would find them when she returned the next morning.
With the notebook gone now, Clementine suddenly felt very weak. She stumbled into the RV, barely managing to lock the door before her legs gave out. Clem crawled over to the couch and pulled herself onto it, desperate to rest for a moment. What she had just done only seemed to open the door for more doubts and questions to flood the girl's already muddled mind. Would leaving that note behind just make Cruz angry? Would it make Cruz want to come after Clementine? Would it really help Clem forget about what she had done? Would anything?
"Clementine?" Clem looked up to find Sarah, freshly bathed and in clean clothes now. "Are you okay?"
"Um, yeah," said Clem in a quiet voice.
"You sure?" asked Sarah as she sat down beside Clem. "Because, if there's anything I can do for you, I'll do it. You know that, right?"
"Well…" Clem thought to herself. "Could… could we go?"
"Go?"
"I mean, go somewhere else already," said Clem. "I don't want to stay here anymore."
"Why not?" asked Sarah.
"I… I just…" Clem thought to herself, trying to find the words. "I just… really want to get away from here."
"Here?"
"Just… this whole area, where there's not much food to find, and we have to make sure we don't go near Shaffer's or Savannah or…" Clem bit her lip as she realized Cruz's home probably was also in the area. "Up until now, we couldn't go that far, because we were always worried about running out of diesel. But now… let's just go, like really far, where's there's no chance we'll ever run into Shaffer's or Savannah or… anyone like that again."
Sarah folded her hands in her lap and let out a weak laugh.
"What?"
"I… I was thinking, with us knowing how to get diesel now, we could maybe get back to my old house," admitted Sarah. "My dad and I left in such a hurry, we didn't even have time to get our photo album or anything but just a bag of food for the road. I was even looking in the road atlas while you were in the bathroom. I found a way to get onto a highway that leads right by where I used to live."
"Well, let's do that then," said Clem. "I'd love to see your old house."
Sarah looked Clem in the eyes. "We lived just outside of Savannah."
"Oh." Clem saw the disappointment on her friend's face. "I'm—"
"And we'd go right by where Shaffer's was if we took that road." Sarah sighed. "Maybe going would be for the best. Just… get as far as away from everything as we can."
"Yeah," said Clem as she eyed the window, looking at the fuel cans they had stacked up and the confession she had left for Cruz. "Just… leave it all behind."
"First thing in the morning, we'll get on the nearest open highway and start heading towards Florida," said Sarah.
"In the morning?" said Clem. "Could we go tonight?"
"Well, it's a clear night, so it's probably safe to drive," said Sarah. "But what about Corporal Cruz?"
"Well, we're not going with her," said Clem. "So, we don't need to wait for her."
"No, but…" Sarah looked disappointed. "I was really hoping I could talk to her one more time."
"Why?"
"Because, she's the first person I've seen in over half a year," reminded Sarah. "It was just nice meeting someone new again. You don't feel that way?"
"No. New… new people scare me," admitted Clem in a quiet voice.
"Oh." Sarah put her arm around the quiet young girl, hoping to comfort her. "But, we already met her, so isn't the scary part over?"
"No," spoke Clem. "Because we still don't know her. We… don't know if she would hurt us or not."
"I don't think she would."
"But you don't know," emphasized Clem. "I don't think we should take that risk, especially since we're not going with her. If she's bad, then we need to leave. If she's good, she'll understand why we left before she came back."
"I guess that makes sense," said Sarah. "But, do you really think Cruz is bad? Because I don't."
"I… I don't know what kind of person she is, and that's what scares me," confessed Clem. "She could be good, or bad, or someone good who did something bad or… I… I just… I just don't know what kind of person she is and…" As Clementine's voice trailed off, Sarah reached out and placed a hand on the younger girl's cheek.
"We'll leave tonight." Sarah's voice eased the young girl's mind. There wasn't a trace of disapproval or doubt in how she spoke, just concern for her friend. Before Clem couldn't even thank Sarah, the older girl moved to the driver's seat and sat down.
Clem moved to the chair beside Sarah, taking a seat as the Brave's engine started. Seeing a familiar smile on Sarah's face as she piloted the RV away from the pumps helped to raise Clem's spirits a little. But seeing the notepad lying on the fuel can dashed those spirits. Even as they backed away from it, Clementine kept staring at that notepad for as long as she could see it, unsure how far away she'd have to be before it finally stopped haunting her.
