Smell of Dahlias

In the orange glow of the sunset, a pair of cicadas could be heard in the overgrown grasses of the park. The afternoon heat had receded several degrees making the air breathable, the skin under his Hitai Ate was covered in sweat. There was blood under his nails and fatigue on his eyelids, so he kept his hands on his pockets and his head low, maintaining an automatic pace. More and more, the bags under his eyes deepened, their color turning darker and darker, shades of black, blue, and green intervened with his pale skin tone. He was tired. It was a common state by now.

In the near distance, the sound of a chain moving made him look upwards, the hand on his pocket turned into a fist without an expressed command, two years of constant missions will do that to one's body. There was a gush of wind and a faint smell of Dahlias, Itachi blew to get rid of it. "What's your name?" A little girl, she couldn't be more than five, asked him. The girl was looking at him curiously, her eyes narrowed and a small smile on her lips, like she enjoyed trying to surprise him. A mischievous young one.

Itachi blinked and decided that there was no point in indulging her behavior, so he facked no surprise. "Hello you," he said with his head cocked to the side, "are you alone?" He looked around the playground, one of the swings was moving slightly, the source of the chain sound -no doubt. She must have been just playing with it but, other than that, the place was empty, nor a trace of any other kid or parent around.

The girl shrugged, the tips of her mouth downwards at his lack of outburst, she must be a spoiled child -she was close to Sasuke's age, but she didn't seem as remarkable as him, but again, no one really was. "I like playing alone," was her response, a tiny finger pointing at the sandbox, "I can draw things in the sand, I can use the swing all I want and I can-"

"-little girl," he interrupted her and watched her mouth go even further down, her eyes shining, "is late for you to be out here." He glanced up, the sky tinted in bright colors, the sun slowly disappearing in the distance.

"You are alone too."

Itachi closed his eyes and the colors of the sky disappeared behind the darkness of his eyelids, he sighed, exhausted with this interaction. She was stubborn, wasn't she? "I'm allowed to." Was his simple response, the fist on his pocket relaxing.

"I'm allowed too!" She replied, yet again, despite his clear intention to leave.

"What's the point of lying when there's such a fragile thread of success." He sighed and moved past her, she looked at him with wide eyes, perhaps trying to grasp the meaning of his words, but there was no point in staying to see her fail or success, he had returned after weeks of being on a mission, and there was another child who claimed and owned his attention.

"I'm not lying."

Itachi sighed once more. There was no point in giving in to her wishes, if what she wanted was someone who will pay attention to her, then he was not the one to ask. Perhaps her parents or friends could serve that purpose. He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, her head was crooked to the side and she was sucking the tip of her fingers, the side of her mouth had a little bit of dirt that Itachi hadn't noticed until then. He walked away and she kicked a little bit of dirt that reached his sandals.

"Sorry," she mumbled, but Itachi wasn't focusing on her. He glanced at the trees, he was searching now -how many times would he keep his guard down just because he was finally on the other side of his village's gates?- and not after much he noticed the slight movement on one of the treetops. Well, the girl wasn't lying, she liked playing alone but that didn't mean she was, after all. "Stay and play." She smiled at him with her eyes narrowed, the mischievous one.

At that, Itachi wasn't sure how to respond, she was bold, she was confident, she would be a ninja for sure. What a pity, he thought, almost tasting the bitterness of her fate, she will be a good asset for Konoha if trained correctly, but Itachi had seen promising ones succumb to the laziest of the kunai. He ignored her, it will be the first time someone will not cuddle her. She will learn to bear the disappointment.

"What's your name?" The shout came from the playground behind. He did not stop on his pace, the wind gently moved the leaves of the trees around him giving him more air to breath in the cruel heat of the day.

"It's a secret," He shouted back, barely looking at the girl melting in the distance. It couldn't be helped, he liked to play some games of his own. Itachi waved her goodbye.

Itachi woke up when the first ray of sun hit his face without remembering what he had dreamed of, at the top right of his field of vision was a purple spot, like a fingerprint, he blinked four times in a row trying to make it go away, but the stain didn't move. Itachi bit his lower lip. He kept watching the purple spot without blinking anymore, perplexed by it and saddened for what it meant, tears of irritation fell from his eyes to his cheeks in a continuous parade but he still didn't blink once, too deep in his sorrow to care.

He forced his right hand to reach for his eyelids and he gently closed them with two fingers, his eyes now watching the darkness that followed and the spot, always the spot. Bright and purple. There was a warm sensation on his arms that started every time he needed a hug, but he could do nothing about it other than ask Kisame to actually hug him, which was even worse than, said, not getting one.

So that's how it starts, huh.

Itachi didn't have time to contemplate for much longer how the blindness that has hunted most of his family members had reached him, nor he could dwell on the fact that this was the first thing he had in common with his ancestors in a long time. Still, this came sooner than expected, he needed more time for his plan to come through and be able to fight his little brother. Between his blindness and his lungs, he would be dead by the end of the year.

But Itachi was not going to give up so easily, he had managed to kill his entire family without dropping a single tear, he could hold himself long enough for Sasuke to end him. It was his plan, and nothing, not even death, will twist his will. He got up, the couch creaking at the movement, and got dressed, the black tunic with red clouds staring at him from the only chair in the room, he grabbed it and stared at it for a second before putting it on. The distant sound of Kisame getting up as well reached his ears.

He was about to open the door when someone knocked on it. "Hello? Is anyone there?" Itachi froze. The owner of the place they crashed in, probably, from the corner of his eye, he could see Kisame reaching for Samehada. No witnesses, Pein had said, but maybe they could sneak out without the man actually seeing them?

Now, that was a stupid thing for Itachi to think, to do that they have to be one hundred percent sure the man hadn't seen their faces or their tunics in order to keep the identity of the group as secret as they could for the longest time possible. It only took one simple gossip and a shinobi willing to listen to disentangle the web of their mystery. What a great way to start his day.

He cracked the door open.

What's your name?

Uchiha Itachi.

Former jönin of Konoha, killed his entire clan, disowned, killed his entire clan, S-rank criminal, killed his entire clan, has a doujutsu, killed his entire clan, killed his entire clan, killed his entire clan, killed his entire clan, killed his entire clan, killed his entire clan.

Sometimes Itachi wondered if his name was a summary of his entire persona, moreover considering that every shinobi in the world or bounty hunter with a bingo book knew his name. "I know you, you are Itachi Uchiha." He heard it a thousand times, in different voices and in different tones, but the same words were pronounced over and over when he made his presence known. But they didn't know him. They knew his name.

Could it be enough? Could it be enough to know his name to know him? He wore so much the mask of fear and coldness that his name carried that he wasn't sure if his own self was merged to it, it might be. Perhaps it was for the best. He hated his name. He wished he wasn't Itachi Uchiha.

Uchiha Itachi.

Former jönin of Konoha, disowned, S-rank criminal.

He almost cries when he killed his mother. But that wasn't in the bingo book. He wished he wasn't Itachi Uchiha, he hoped, he begged, he prayed. Did he already lost his mind? He probably didn't have one to begin with. Shisui would know, he always knew what to say, he misses him, he misses him so much he feels sometimes he might share a tear at his memory. He wants to stop, he wants to drop dead because this have been enough for him to live through, but Sasuke-

Oh, Sasuke.

Itachi always found impossibly hard to believe the love stories that most girls read back in school about finding a soulmate, that just didn't happen, how could someone be tied to a person through their soul. Itachi didn't have a soul. No one in his family did, except perhaps the baby that owned him. The baby that deserved the world and to kill him and return to Konoha as a hero. He was tied to Sasuke, he was completely and utterly owned by Sasuke, even if his little brother was too deep in his sorrow to know. He woke up in the mornings with the only purpose of seeing him again, to give him his life, to make him commit to Konoha in the way his family should have but didn't.

And now the purple spot on his eye made him realize he was running out of time.

Itachi was having a bad day, little was the control he had over his body. Sometimes it happened, sometimes he needed to pause despite his desire to continue. Sometimes his body betrayed his mind without a warning or permission. There was no break in this world, there was no time out of Akatsuki. He couldn't afford to have one, not with Kisame around, not while he was on a mission. He needed to keep walking, he needed to stop thinking about Shisui and Sasuke. He was biting eagerly his bottom lip as to focus. He closed his eyes and breathed, in his mind the known prayer that, if there's any god out there listening

Don't let me fuck this up.

"Itachi," Kisame's head appeared out of nowhere, looking at him with curious eyes. Had he realized? No, he can't realize… should I kill him? I should kill him so he can't tell them that I'm weak, I can't afford to be weak, I have a mission… "Itachi what the fuck?" Kisame's expression was perplexed. His gray chin had a little red spot where the blood of the man they killed in the morning had splashed him that he didn't wash off. He was moving towards him with his eyes wide opened. "Do you see that?" He said, looking something pass him. "It's a beach!"

"What?" He asked, barely in control of his actions, and looked to the place Kisame was pointing with his finger.

"I can smell the water, seawater, oh god PLEASE LET'S GO THERE."

"What?" He asked again, perplexed, feeling the cold sweat on the back of his neck making his way to his waist.

Kisame looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you deaf man? It's saltwater… I haven't swum on salted water since… so long."

Itachi couldn't see a beach anywhere near them, so he kept staring at the distance where Kisame swore there was one.

"Trust my nose, is there. Now, I know we have a mission and yada, yada, but-"

"Alright."

"Y- what? For real?" Kisame's tone was full of disbelief, but Itachi wasn't in a position to maintain for much longer his expressionless facade. He needed a distraction and if Kisame said there was a beach somewhere where he could swim for a couple of hours until his lungs, hopefully, exploded or Itachi could regain control of his emotions once more, then he wasn't going to let it pass.

"Don't make a fuss about it."

"No, no, of course not. Let's go then," and without even waiting for him, Kisame started to walk.

"No one can see us." Itachi reminded him, not quite moving in an attempt to keep his heartbeat in check.

"I'll use a henge."

"If there's a ninja…"

"It won't be!" Kisame assured, "but even if there is…" he paused, "it has been so long since I swam…"

Itachi couldn't bear any more blood today.

"How long has it been?"

"For us? Too long, for regular people not long enough."

Shikaku barely smiled and licked his bottom lip, moving aside to let Inoichi in, the Yamanaka didn't wait for his long time friend and walked inside the Nara house until he reached Shikaku's office, barely looking at the space he was so used to visit. The walls were freshly painted, it seemed, by the faint smell of paint that lingered in the air. He reached the closed wooden door and turned, facing the man he had came to visit.

For a moment of complete confidence Inoichi considered hugging him, after all, Shikaku wouldn't object to the proximity between them and much less to the direct contact if it was Inoichi the one performing the action, but he stopped himself from doing it and just reached for his shoulder. There was a time to play and this was not, he couldn't just give for no reason, he needed to keep a tight hold of his resources. "Sometimes, old friend, I wonder what my life would be without you," he said, amused at how Shikaku's sole response was to blink.

"Sentimental, aren't we?" The man licked his lips again and glanced at Inoichi's hand still placed on his shoulder, the tip of his beard caressing the skin of the back of his hand, it tickled him. He was a sensitive man.

"You know me, I'm a romantic." He smiled amused, squeezing the shoulder lightly and finally letting go, Shikaku blinked and looked at him directly in his eyes. Then, he walked past him and put his hand on his pocket, Inoichi watched how Shikaku's skin was encompassed by the green color of his pants, the veins of his arm showing. It was an enticing picture. There was a light metal sound and the hand came out with a key between its fingers. Shikaku opened the door without saying another word.

Shikaku walked towards the middle of the room and sat on the floor, not bothering with a cushion and not offering one either, Inochi almost chuckles, they were completely past this formalities. Shikaku relaxed his posture and invited Inoichi to join him, gently tapping his heel on the ground. "I have seen you force men to kill their entire platoon, forgive me if I can't picture you as the romantic type."

Inoichi laughed without actually enjoying the joke. "Well, we were at war, you can't exactly expect me to give the enemy flowers and hope for the best." He sat next to his friend, "and as far as I can remember, you weren't particularly nice either."

"You know me, I'm anything but sentimental…"

"Ah yes," he smiled like he believed in his lies, rolling his shoulders twice and cracking his neck to release some tension, "you're a cold, logical man, aren't you? You're a calculator."

Shikaku chuckled despite it being an awful pun. "Of sorts…"

Inoichi sighed and looked at his friend, time and duty had made their wonders on Shikaku's face, wrinkles on the side of his eyes, and a permanent frown on his expression had settled in, making him look older than what he was. Inoichi knew better than anyone, except maybe Chöza, what Shikaku had gone through during his life; but again, every single one of them had gone through similar -if not equal- things, and as Inoichi contemplated the aged face and soul of his friend, a pair of brown eyes stared right back at him.

"They aren't getting along, aren't they?" Shikaku said, scratching his chin.

"No." Inoichi replied, "I don't know what to do with Ino, honestly."

"She'll come around…"

"If not, she'll die."

Shikaku frowned his lips, "she won't." He paused, "I'll talk to Shikamaru."

"I don't know if that would make any difference at this point."

Shikaku laughed, "they are barely gënin, we have time to turn things in our favor."

"Still… I just don't know how to communicate with her," he grunted, "she seems more concerned for not being put in the same team as that Uchiha kid than to create a bond with the boys that are going to be standing between her and the enemy."

"Ah yes… Sasuke Uchiha," Shikaku mumbled, "the sole survivor. How is he?"

"He's… still the same. Not fine, not insane just yet, mad enough to want to be powerful to seek revenge but not enough to betray Konoha." He licked his lips.

"Yet…" Shikaku added, watching his mouth move. He was so easy to tempt.

"Yet," Inoichi agreed, "that kid is a timebomb Shikaku, I don't know what the Hokage is expecting."

"I think you're smart enough to assume the best on what the Hokage is actually doing, old friend. Besides, who knows, maybe Sasuke just needs a nice, cute girl to set him on track."

"Don't you even dare to joke about that." Inoichi almost bares his teeth. "And I don't assume the Hokage's best intentions, old friend, I hope for them. That's all."

That Uchiha boy, it was almost comical how that clan could give Inoichi so many headaches in his lifetime. Shikaku's brows lifted up at Inoichi's last phrase, his interest perked. Inoichi inclined closer to his oldest friend and rested his weight on his right hand.

"So," Inoichi continued, his fingers gently tapping the floor, "I think we need to have a conversation..."

"Aren't we having one?" Shikaku, the smart ass, sometimes Inoichi wanted to hurt him.

"Don't be ridiculous impertinent, my patience has been stolen by my daughter, there's little in the jar for your old tricks and witty jokes."

Shikaku looked at him in a way he often did when they were alone, as if he had been chastised by someone with authority over him, over his motions. Like a child. It pained Inoichi to see such a mighty man succumb to his most basic tricks. It pained him to see how much Shikakau considered his actions around him. But it was better for his purposes. It did not matter, he will soon compensate him for this outburst.

"Honestly, Inoichi, if Ino manages to inherit even one small part of your capacity to wrap people around your little finger, Shikamaru is doomed."

Inoichi laughed as he always did when Shikaku brought up this subject. It was so predictable, the poor, wonderful man. Always moving around Inoichi as if he was a fragile diamond that he wanted desperately to keep intact, thinking that compliments will take him off a bad side in which he never has been to begin with. He squizzed his old teammate knee in a friendly manner and felt Shikaku's leg relax at the touch.

"Oh, please Shika, I've never used my charm to have my way with you."

"You did and you do, but I love you, that's why I'm allowing it." What a man indeed, Inoichi will definitely compensate him. It was the least he could do. More considering the subject they will soon be discussing. It was a marvelous thing to see such a mighty man been reduced to grunts and pants, that perfect brain of his diminished to the most basic of the instincts.

Inoichi laughed.

A/N: In the last chapter I completely forgot to talk about something important to me. I'm so pleased to read you guys, and I deeply want to reply to each of you, but I feel that the only way I could reply to the "guest" reviews is inside of each chapter, and that might make it too long and most of you will pretty much skip those replies.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't write a review as a guest, please keep doing it, I love them, I'm just trying to explain why I'm not replying to them.

Speaking of which, I do have one review that I will like to mention since it might encompass many doubts you might have:

Dear Cecil, I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far (I will like to know if you're reading it still), I won't really say where I'm going with this story but I will say that I have sketched out the main conflict and the resolution, I just don't want to jump there out of nowhere because I want to make the route towards it a pleasant ride for you and me equally, but more importantly, to make it believable. I do have a tendency to follow the canon timeline for organizational purposes, but it will undoubtedly change the more conflicts unfold. Also, REDDIT?