Inspired by and based on wksi_13's 2-part fan comic strip found here: /sivell0904/status/1372104861362266112?s=20
The normal forward stated in Chapter 1 of this collection does not apply to this chapter. You may think of these events akin to (if not an extension of) those of manga Chapter 138 or Mikasa's OVA: a metaphysical connection, dream, and/or alternate path where Eren and Mikasa decided to act differently, creating a divergent plot. (Note: this is simply inspired by and based off the above post. It is not necessarily a perfect recreation of it in writing – some scenes may differ both in content and chronology).
Fair warning: keep a dictionary handy, as I did.
T/W and tags: Main character death, heavy angst, intimacy, missionary, creampie.
Eren wakes with a start. Light floods into his eyes; a painful reminder of the day to come. He lies still, eyes loosely focused on the ceiling as he tries to consolidate himself. Silence. Fills his ears. Ringing. Stinging. Tearing at his flesh and mind alike. His chest feels tight and weak. His hands lack color, forearms an unusual whiteish shade.
The calm of the room belies the sickly feeling of a freefall. Body held ephemeral and eternal in a bright, colorless abyss as his mind seeps in the onrushing oblivion.
No breathing stirs the room.
The air, deathly still. Quandary. Filled with the sweet, subtle scent of flowers. Yet tainted with the ethereal, detached absent presence of the grim.
Eren feels a single tear well up in his right eye. Filling up past the corner of his eyelid. Streaming down the side of his face. Soaking into the bedsheet.
The tiny speck of wet fabric swelling into the vast expanse of a shallow sea in his senses.
Still falling.
Embraced by the duality of photons streaming into his eyes as a reminder of life and vibrance. Entranced by the morbid reminder of date. Time.
Tick.
Tick..
Tick…
The clock on the wall echoes through his mind. Silence warps inside out, back into its cavernous sibilance. A rising tide of tinnitus surging from its roomy hollow to a roaring focus. Drowning out any thought. Any feeling except for his imposing doom.
His lungs heave, sucking in a gulp of air as the desperate wail of a sob tries to leap out of his chest. He hides his face under his forearms. Stifling the potent, eminent bawl furiously trying to express itself in him. To live as him. To feel the despair.
Eren holds his arms over his face a long while. Brutally forcing every thought out of mind, desperate to hold off the astral will to survive. To fight. To live and to persist.
To stay with Mikasa. Armin… his friends. Those he loves. He cares for and sacrificed for.
He controls it all. The vast, existential swarm tearing up his head and body like a supernova eviscerating its unfortunate solar system. He bites it all back. Gritting his teeth together tightly until his face turns white, then red from the fury of emotions running rampant against his command. His chest falls away from him again. Lost in the immaterial fall of existence, leaking away from him. Preparing to remove itself from him.
His face swells into a lurid smile. Teeth brandished to the witness of his forearms as if a cornered animal. The storm looms large over him. Massive and imposing. Unavoidable. Unconditional. Cruel and uncaring.
Eren throws his legs over the side of the bed, deciding the only way to evade the tragedy frying his mind is by getting on with the day. The only day…
A sniffle breaks the objective silence of the room. A few drops of tears falling into the wooden cabin floor. Hydrating the hard, dry wood. He wipes his face with his bare forearm.
He glares at the floor for a minute. The opposition in his mind deflating somewhat as the physical movement calms the tormenting storm. Gradually, stillness returns to his senses.
Some muffled thump echoes through the cabin. Drawing Eren's attention away from himself. He stands and walks to the dresser. Throwing on a pair of dark pants. Then a loose fitting long white sleeve t-shirt. He draws a deep breath and opens the door. Stepping into the new light of the kitchen and dining room.
Mikasa is standing at the kitchen counter, doing something with her hands on the countertop in front of her. She turns partially, hearing Eren step into the room. She gives him a warm smile. Greeting.
Eren gives her a weak smile back.
She turns, reaching for a vase of flowers. Light pink lotus flowers. Grabbing them by the tightly bound stems, she thrusts them toward him with an awkward smile.
Eren repeats his weak smile in return. A hand slowly outreaching and accepting her offering without speaking.
He rights the bundle, wafting the open petals under his nose and letting their faint, sweet scent tickle his nose. Mikasa watches him for a breath, then turns sharply. Back to the kitchen counter. Her hands busy themselves. A distraction. For the moment..
Eren seats himself at the table, wordless and quiet. She unties her apron.
Mikasa turns around a moment later, a plate in each hand. Outstretching her arm, placing Eren's plate in front of him. Skirting her own down opposite him. But she does not sit down.
She turns and paces toward the bedroom door silently, lifting the apron from her neck. Eren watches her out of the corner of his eye, saying nothing as he observes her open the door and disappear behind it a moment later. The door closing smooth and calm behind her.
Eren's eyes fix on the wooden door, about where her head would have been had she stood in the doorway. Watching morosely. Unable to push back the feeling, he refocuses on his food. Slowly cutting his omelet and scooping the first bite into his mouth.
Its good; her cooking always germane. But tasteless; Eren's body has little interest or use for food.
Mikasa leans against the door she just closed. The weight of her body suddenly multiplying as she finds herself in the momentary privacy or their room. Her hand falls from the doorknob, free hand clutching the apron. Shrinking into herself. Her chest aching. Deep and pure. Arching forward, her stomach contracting as a heavy sob wells up through her. Starting from the pit of her belly. Rolling upward with impunity. Dishearten. Depression. Pain.
She tries to take a steadying breath. The pain in her chest lessens. But her body still feels heavy, serried.
A tear wells up in each eye. The pain in her chest weakens, but spreads over more of her body. Thin veils of lacerations coating her skin. Chest to abs. Biceps to fingers. Waist to toes. Nape of the neck to inner thighs. Breast to breast. Ab to ab. Finger to finger. Cell to cell. All consuming.
Mikasa breathes deeply again. Drawing a full lung of cool air into her chest. Focusing on the flow of air as an external anchor. The tears in her eyes loose, streaking down the sides of her face. Splashing into the wooden floor below.
She wipes her face with her sleeve, walking into the room slightly. Just enough to toss the apron into the hamper. And turns back to the gateway separating her from Eren.
Eren listens to the door handle turn, revealing the familiar figure of Mikasa standing in the doorway. Illuminated by the light spilling in through the bedroom windows. He doesn't look up at her. Using his peripheral vision to follow her.
Mikasa stands in the doorway, hesitating for a long moment as she studies him. His posture is somber but braced. Attention meekly focused on his food. Eren notices her lingering. The subtle slump in her posture, arms curled inward toward her core finely. Neither speaks.
Mikasa feels the well cut through her chest again.
Seating herself without meeting his eyes. She folds her legs under the bench and looks down at her food. Slowly cutting it into bite sized pieces. But barely getting more than a few forkfuls down before losing the interest. The motive to eat.
She jumps imperceptibly, feeling Eren's foot brush against hers. Eren's leaning on the table, an asthenic smile traced across his lips. Mikasa looks at him through disheveled bangs. He nods at her food, but says nothing to start with. She shrugs at him, knowing what he's intending to say. Dismissing him.
His foot rises up the side of her shin, a displaced affection reminding the pair of their somatic existence. Eren nods at her food again, "You should eat." It's weird… coming from him.
Typically, the shoe is on the other foot. Has nearly always been.
Mikasa gives him a weak laugh and smile in return. A deep exhale. Her head tips forward and shakes mildly, her hair obscuring her face in uneven ruffles. She laces her fingers together, elbows planted on either side of her dish.
His foot retracts.
Eren stands, picking up his plate and scraping off the remaining bits of food into the trash. Placing the plate on the counter beside the sink. Then turning back to the table.
Mikasa has not moved.
The bench shakes under her. Eren seats himself beside her. One arm wrapping around her far side. He pulls her into himself, his head falling to the side until bumping into hers. A brief moment of silence passes. Then he wraps his other arm around her ab, weaving his fingers together on her side. Pulling her in tighter.
Mikasa fights back tears, her face closing in on itself in resistance. Swells of pain rising through her innards like boiling pockets of magma rising to the surface. Displacing nearly anything in their paths. Eren feels her arms lax from the table, dropping into her lap without commission.
Their breathing passes in near silence. Only the faintest of sounds breaking the macabre stillness of room.
She turns into him. Her arms rising from her lap and wrapping around his flanks morbidly. Their embrace rapidly strengthens, first dragging his side into her awkward turn. Then relaxing enough for him to turn into her in a similar form. His arms cut into her sides, rising up into the crooks between her side and arm.
Four arms clasped. Firm. Forceful. Despairing. Unwilling to part.
Eren wills himself into the moment, attempting to drown out his thoughts with the feeling of their bodies embosom. Her aglow heat. Her lively pressure. Her pristine scent. Her denizen clothing. The feeling of…
Eren's shoulder nudges her head off him. She follows but keeps her head down. Hiding her face behind her dark hair. Unwilling or unable to look at him.
His head tipping forward to greet her departure. Pressing their foreheads together. Eyes closing in the moment between black bangs. Relishing the developing embrace. Quiescent leveraging as the unwelcome displacing bubble wells up between and around them.
The feeling of… their lips touching together.
Mikasa's grip weakens. The focus, attention, and macabre cognizances sweeping around in a discomposing whirl. She feels her chest cool. A strange twist of a sinking and a lifting feeling muddling together unevenly. The feeling washes away almost all together as Eren bears his head down upon hers.
The continued effect of his overwhelming effort to bind himself to the moment.
He feels the same exceptional agglomerate of competing vehemences toiling in his chest. It radiates into his arms and neck, distressing his muscles. But fights back. Pushing through it outright.
Inundating himself in the chummy intimacy enfettering the couplet of two souls.
Mikasa's grip around him resurges, pressing her head back into his. Their lips bound together as the symmetry between their bodies restores. Seconds tick by in the ongoing cuddle, arms continuing to constrict around the other. Lips unfazed by the nebulous backdrop of melancholy. The intimate heat of their lips piercing through the pain with a meager radiant haze. Illuminating the dark. But not well enough.
They each choke back a lump in their throat as one another's touch reminds each of the finite mortality remaining on Eren's life. Separately and unnoticing the other's simultaneous encumbrance as they focus on stifling their own gobbet.
Eren's hand rises to her face, outlining her jaw as their teeth flash. Lips breaking apart as a pair of torrid breaths escape their preserve. The skin of their lips and cheeks brushing over one another with closed eyes and unguided imprecision. More of their brainpower funneling forward into the moment they are creating for themselves; distancing and enshrouding themselves apart from the gloom surrounding their every movement. Eren's hand joins the other, outlining each side of her face with a gentle extant touch as he presses home a deeper kiss.
With the same furor the depression asserted itself over her day, it now recedes in the onrushing ardor of the moment. Mikasa's hands flick up into Eren's hair, massaging his scalp with a subtle, warm rush of euphoria flowing through her head. Enough to whitewash the memory of finality.
However, the stubbornness of Eren's dysphoria clings to consciousness. Thin streaks of despondence remain attached to his mind, though thinning as the hectic massaging of Mikasa's fingers soak through their obstinacy. A hum pours from his lips.
Eren throws a leg over the bench, facing her for a moment shorter than it takes to push himself into her grasp. His hands drop from her face and clasp her butt with two wide, firm palms. Together they lift into the air.
Mikasa wraps her legs around his hips as they rise from the table. Her arms around his abdomen, head nuzzled into the crook of his neck, arms tightening around him. Eren bands his arms square around the small of her back, pressing his forehead into the dark black mass of hair below him. He steps over the bench with some crudeness and treads towards the solid dry oak door between rooms.
Her back bumps into the door as Eren fumbles for the doorhandle. She tips her head back from his shoulder and gives him a smug grin at his clumsiness. Eren flashes back an acknowledging but ignorant smile as he manages to unhinge the door from its locked position, stepping the conjoined pair into the bedroom.
Stepping through the doorway, Eren gently pushes the door backward into its frame, leaving it ajar as he steps toward the foot of their bed. The solemn stillness of the room is cut by warming breaths from the couple.
Eren leans over the bed to deposit his dame, but she clings to him, her legs and arms still wrapped tightly around him. She lets her head rest on the bedspread, eyes resting on his shining, faded emerald eyes with a warm, forlorn gaze. He returns a warm smile.
The lukewarm sheets contact Eren's forearms as he leans forward on the bed, scooting himself forward until he can reach his knees up onto the bed and scrape his shins past the edge. Eren runs a hand through her hair as he rests on all fours, expecting her grip to ease up any moment now. But her limbs remain attached, mounting her to him steadfastly. So, he waddles up toward the headboard a little more. Their heads just shy of the pillow-adorned headboard.
Still, she clings on, her fingers digging into his back with dull points. Eren gives a gentle tug, drawing her head up between the sets of pillows resting against the headboard.
Her grip relents, allowing her full weight to fall to the bed. A pause allows the air between them to curl inward, cooling the spaces between them for the moment being.
Then Eren follows her down. Allowing his body to press against hers with an even, light pressure. His nose touches to hers, the first skin-to-skin contact since their kissing in the previous room. Mikasa's eyes flash open, eyes stimulating to the light of the room.
Eren's hands shift under the pillows, partially cutting under her shoulders as his head continues its descent to her lips. The steamy air between their faces parted by the connection of their lips, soft. Subtle. Easy.
Their lips touch together in a warm haze heated by their thinly clothed bodies.
Slowly, Mikasa's limbs retract and fall to the bed in a desultory fog. Her mind readily remitting the forlorn saga previously lived just a minute ago. The feeling begins seeping through her mind, a warm prickly feeling touching all ends. Then through her body seconds later, a familiar warmth spreading throughout, without the quarrelsome edge to it present in mind.
The kiss draws in Eren's attention. Slow, smooth. The deathly bleed in his heart mending one stitch at a time as the seconds tick by.
A tug at his side catches his physical senses. Mikasa's hands tug at each side of his shirt. Lifting it away from the bed then over his head. Eren breaks their kiss long enough to watch his shirt pass overhead. The cloth flicks to the side, hanging precariously off the side of the bed.
Their lips resume their dance. Skin tingles as they brush past one another. Warm air puffs over their faces.
Mikasa feels Eren's arms shift under her, biceps tightening around her flanks. His hands skirting under her shoulder blades toward her head. Fingers forking between strands of hair, fingertips caressing her scalp as their lips seal together.
His forehead touches to hers with a tender gentleness. His arms squeeze together, bringing their chests together beautifully. Mikasa's legs flick up from the bedspread and wrap around his legs.
Silence purveys the room as their lips wave back and forth over one another's.
A chirp gleams from her lips as Eren's waist dips to meet hers. Feeling the strengthening mass between his legs tease her. Mikasa's lips break from his and her head hinges downward from their foreheads. She nods readily.
A quick flick of his wrist skirts the thin fabric out of the way.
Eren feels his head press against her opening and pauses, firmly building up pressure at a slow pace.
Mikasa gives a whimpered look without the accompanying noise. Her eyes flutter as her brain switches gears to remember the final details.
Eren gives a weak smile in return, still building pressure.
His chest contracts as he pushes his way inside.
Her chest swells as she inhales, mirroring the filling below her waist. A chirp of air breaks through her lips as her mind beings to swirl from a concoction of physical stimulation and the residual of mental anguish. A warm breath from Eren's lungs wash away the last bit of angst – her heart lightens.
A long, smooth stroke inwards clears the minds of each distinguished scout. Eren feels the ticking of impending doom ease, evaporating his sorrow as the moment becomes the only concerns they care about.
Time slows for the couple; iridescent as slow, smooth strokes from Eren's hips control the passage of time in their minds. One, two. One. One, two. Two. One, two… seconds pass slowly, magnificently.
Mikasa feels the inside of her legs tingling from stimulation and the strain of her legs against his. Lips lock back together in a tender moment, quickly broken and resealed in sequence. Her tongue brushes against the length of his lips, parting them as he accepts her advance.
Eren plunges deep within her as her tongue slips past his lips and licks against his teeth and gums. Her tongue flows over the bumps formed by his teeth. He pulls back, her tongue retreating from the lair of his mouth. Eren's arms sweep in from each side of her, locking behind her back and pulling her in tightly against him.
Their chests expand against one another as they inhale.
His forehead touches against hers, lips brushing against one another once more as he strokes inward once more.
Mikasa's legs rise from the bed, flanking his waist. Feet planted into the bed adjacent to his thighs. Squeezing against him fervently. A chirp and long exhale escapes from her lips as her mind swells inwards on itself, convection currents from their bodies heating their minds.
Eren's body contracts around her wholly. A spare hand slipping out from under her and wrapping the familiar scarf snugly around her neck.
"My-ne."
Mikasa blushes a deep red, matching her scarf.
Eyes lock together and spark over the short distance. Her blush deepens, head sinking under the scarf to hide her blush timidly.
Eren's hand brushes a few stray hairs out of her eye. "No, let me see you," he insists softly. Mikasa scraps her lower lip against her teeth but follows his gentle insistence, slowly revealing her face from the warmth of the scarf.
A warm smile greets her. The blush rapidly returns to her face.
But the blush recedes just as quickly. Warm blood rushes south, pooling in her lower abdomen as excited nerves stir. A warm rush of air flows over her head as Eren exhales, sinking himself within her once more.
Mikasa's legs clench around his waist, corrugating her smooth thrusts with intermittent interruptions. Eren says nothing but touches his forehead to hers. Locking lips together in a tender embrace for a brief moment; withdrawing to look at her, then locking lips together in a familiar rhythm.
A coo seeps from her lips as Eren dives into her with a greater pace. His thrusts become more determined, guided. Mikasa responds by wrapping her legs around his back.
"Don't leave. I want you."
Eren hesitates.
But continues, intending to honor her wishes without disputation.
Mikasa's arms unfold from her chest and sides, fingers wrapping over the rear cleft of Eren's thin shirt. Her nails scrape against his skin with each stroke. Mumbles fall from her lips as her eyes close. Soaking in the bliss.
Her body heats up from within, radiating a tepid heat that seems to feed upon itself. Eren feels the change, adjusting himself to either side between strokes to cool himself and change his rhythm. Mikasa's legs clench around him suddenly, too sudden to be a climax but enough to be the early signs of exactly that.
"Erehn…" falls from her lips.
Her head lifts from the bed and touches against his roughly. Her arms tighten around him, holding him close. Feeling the heat of his body. The tone of his muscles. The determination of his demeanor. She runs a hand through his unkempt hair, feeling the soft texture between her fingers.
Eren grunts, an imminent sign he is close himself. Mikasa nods unconsciously at first, then rapidly and with determination as her mouth yaws open from the rushing ecstasy filling her mind. Streaks of white fill her closed eyes. Her toes curl up tightly.
Her legs pulse against his back, signaling the onrush of euphoria sweeping through her body and mind. Her heart aches and pounds under the electrochemical onslaught. Nails bite into his back.
Eren throws himself into her once more, gritting his teeth together as he unleashes himself within her without restraint. Convection currents swell within his waist, rising up to his eyes and down to his toes with an electrical tingle. His body shudders under the impact of his orgasm.
Mikasa's mind swirls through rapid thoughts, feelings. Attachment. Compassion. Trauma. Loss. Endearment. Pain. Fond memories. All bottled into one streaming onrush collapsed into a muddled quagmire of bliss and sadness.
Eren feels her body convulse a few times underneath himself.
What seems like several minutes pass in silence, neither moving from their embrace.
Until Eren flops over onto the bed adjacent to her. Her legs and arms still wrapped around him.
Smoothening, quiet breaths evenly coat the room.
Minutes pass in near silence as the couple embrace.
Eren's mind begins to wander again. But somehow without the painful reminder of his looming death.
A sharp inhale catches his attention. Mikasa's legs and arms unfurl from his back. She sits up and straightens her hair, facing away from him quietly.
Eren follows her upright posture, an arm slowly wrapping around her waist. Pulling her into him.
"Let's go fishing."
A moment passes, the bed gently shaking as she runs her hands through her hair. But she does not say anything. Or turn to face him.
"Mikasa…" he squeezes her sides reassuringly.
She inhales sharply, pausing for a moment. Then turns and nods curtly.
After three hours of fishing they only have two fish to show for their efforts. Not that that was the real goal of the engagement.
It was another three – enjoyable – hours of quality time together before the end.
Eren holds the fishing rod and bait bag as they climb their way up the rocky outcropping towards the forest. Mikasa the basket containing their modest catch.
Still laughing at his lame-ish joke, her foot misses its grounding on the rocky landscape.
Acting quickly, Eren drops the bag and throws his right arm out infront of himself, aiming at the stumbling woman in front of himself. Just as he mercilessly bites into his left hand.
A sharp crack of thunder echoes through the valley.
Mikasa takes a brief moment to collect herself, resting back on the Titan sized right arm of Eren; hardly registering what happened despite her immense perception values.
She looks across her vision at the Titan arm that caught her stumble. Turning to Eren and smiling warmly…
A worrisome shock echoes through her body.
Blood pours from Eren's nose. She rushes up to him. A hand on his shoulder. A hand on each shoulder.
"Eren! Are you o…"
Eren laughs, running a hand through her hair, giving her a bump on the noggin in defiance of her needless caring as he wipes the blood from his nose.
Mikasa's hands break from her shoulders, slipping down his shirt as the situation hits her full-force. Tears stream down her face.
"Ereh.."
Whisps of steam cloud their vision intermittently as his Titan arm decays.
Eren says nothing, sensing the impending doom inwardly. He wraps an arm around her back, pulling her close to him.
Seconds pass as the tears swelling from Mikasa's eyes begin to ease. A second hand catches her attention, lifting her chin.
Eren kisses her firm and confident.
Their kiss breaks just as quickly.
"I love.. you." Eren chokes out, a catch in his throat part way through.
Mikasa half smiles with warmth, but closes the distance and kisses him again. Tears stream from her face once more.
"Eren, I…" she trails off after the kiss breaks.
But Eren could barely hear her. As if from the bottom of a faraway well.
Eren chokes. A suppressed cough bubbling up from his throat.
"Ah.. .h..h…kch…" Eren's gaze tilts back, up to the great blue sky.
Flakes of organic matter flow around the couple. At first just a piece here, there. Then torrents.
Ymir disassembles Eren's body from her PATHS realm…
Mikasa feels his grip around her weaken.
Her grip around him shifts, then fades drastically as her finger faze through where his body once was.
Within seconds the flurry of organic matter disappears. Leaving nothing but a pile of clothes in her arms.
She stares at the empty space in disbelief. Silent.
Her arms slowly retract through the dead space, wrapping around herself.
Tears flow furiously. Her head tilting back to the vast, empty sky.
The smell of rotting vegetation fills the cabin's bedroom.
The pink lotus flowers rot in their vase.
Piercing silence fills the cabin.
Mikasa gingerly picks up the scarf from the side of the bed. She falls to the floor, clutching the fabric to her chest wordlessly.
Silence.
The sound of silence… of no body. Absence. Fills. The cabin.
END