Omake Week 2019, Day 1: Omake Week comes early this year, for reasons that will become obvious later in the week. Until then, feel free to kick back and enjoy the annual tour through my inability to keep from writing puns and dad jokes featuring my favorite fanfic cast members. And what would Omake Week be without the series that somehow got me to crank out over 100 chapters of these things?

~X X X~

Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater

(featuring the Munakata family pet)

"Senpai, you look like you've been pulling all-nighters for the past week!"

Arika Yumemiya was, by nature, an enthusiast. It was not out of the ordinary for her to burst out, in complete sincerity, with remarks that from anyone else would sound like sarcasm.

In truth, though, she wasn't too far off this time. Shiho barely got the chair pulled out before she slumped into it and collapsed to the cafeteria table. For the first time in living memory, her drill-curled hairstyle served a practical purpose, cushioning her head like a pillow.

"Uhhhhgh," she groaned, closing red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes.

"Your high-school entrance exams aren't that hard, are they?"

"I'm going here to Fuuka Academy for high school, Arika. There aren't any exams."

"Then why did you stay up so late?" The younger girl's eyes flashed wide open. "You have a new boyfriend, don't you? And he kept you up to all hours for the whole weekend doing this and that, didn't he? Senpai, you shouldn't let yourself be taken advantage of like that!"

"I don't have a boyfriend!" Shiho yelped, vaulting upright. Her voice had one of those sharp, shrill tones that really carried, judging by the number of students throughout the room who turned to see who was proclaiming her single state. Shiho slumped back into her seat, her posture indicating that she wished she could keep right on slumping through the floor. As was so often the case, she covered for her embarrassment by going on the offensive. "Besides, you can't tell me that you know what 'this and that' even are."

"Well, um, not really," Arika said, "but whatever happened to you, it must have been exhausting. You look awful!"

"…Thanks."

"I'm serious, senpai! I'm worried about you. Why did you stay up so late?"

Shiho sighed. In addition to enthusiastic and innocent, Arika was also tenacious.

"I didn't stay up late; it's just that Grandpa spent most of Sunday morning chewing me out, and then had me doing chores around the shrine all afternoon trying to clean up the mess."

"What mess? Oh! Is that why your grandpa got mad at you?"

"Yes."

"What happened."

Shiho groaned.

"Do we have to do this now?"

"No, but my grandma always says that confession is good for the soul."

"Did your grandma ever say anything about nosey underclassmen and if it's okay to dump a plate of curry over them?"

"No, that's definitely not right. You're supposed to use yakisoba for that."

Shiho looked at her for any traces of sarcasm or wit, but saw only the shining of innocence and vast empty spaces when she gazed into Arika's eyes.

"You have an interesting grandma."

"Mm-hm! She taught me everything I know!"

"That probably explains a lot."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well, what happened to get your grandpa mad at you?"

"It was mostly the fire."

"The fire!? Is he okay? Was anyone hurt?" Arika's innocence ran both ways. Her genuine concern for people actually made Shiho feel a little bit guilty.

"No, everyone is fine. I was staying with him for the weekend and I left my curling iron plugged in. I guess it didn't have an automatic shut-off, or maybe I'd just had it shoved up against something with a low ignition point. But whatever it was, the bathroom caught fire while I was asleep."

"Oh, no! It's really lucky everyone was okay. Was there any damage to the shrine?"

"Not much. Only the bathroom was affected."

"Wow, I'm actually kind of surprised. Do you think the kami was looking out for you?"

"It wasn't really luck, not the way you're thinking. Yatagarasu smelled the smoke, so he got an extinguisher and put out the fire."

"Your pet crow can use a fire extinguisher?"

"Of course he can. It's not like he's a sparrow."

Even Arika seemed at a loss to respond to this.

"So when Grandpa woke up this morning—and he always gets up at six, so that he can carry out his morning devotions—he found the mess and…well, that's why I got up at six-o-eight." Shiho groaned again. "And when I was halfway through the cleanup, the toilet fell apart because the heat had caused the porcelain to crack, and water started spraying everywhere, so I had to turn off the valve and Grandpa called the plumber."

"But you slept through the actual fire?" Arika marveled. "If Yatagarasu could operate a fire extinguisher, then why didn't he get you and your grandfather up?"

"Well, he had the fire under control, plus he needed to use his beak to hold the extinguisher nozzle."

"Huh?"

"Well, he thought it was better to let us sleep, since after all, he had no caws for alarm."