Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater

(featuring no pets, but two running gags in one!)

"I have to say," Shizuru Fujino stated, trying to ignore the general chaos and hubbub around her, "that this has been an entirely new experience for me."

Natsuki frowned at her girlfriend.

"Shizuru, I know that you've gone Christmas shopping before. I have the piles of presents from previous years to prove it."

"Ara, that is true, and yet I had never exposed myself to Natsuki's particular fashion of Christmas shopping before today."

"Well, yeah, obviously. I mean, you're the most important person I shop for, so it's not like you're going to come along to help me buy your own presents. I mean, even if it was something you had to be fitted for or the like I'd make the arrangements in advance and just put the reservation in your stocking or something. Even I'm not that bad at social stuff."

"Well, then," Shizuru said, a smug little smile transforming her features. "For getting to hear Natsuki so casually declare that I am her most important person, I think it was worth the bruises."

Natsuki flushed, something she did less often now that they were in the third full year of their relationship and this was all the more precious for Shizuru to see.

"Well, it's true, isn't it?" she muttered. "And hey, wait a second. You ducked and that rice steamer hit the lady with the three kids."

"I was referring to my ribs."

"Ohh, caught an elbow in the scrum, did you? I'm sorry about that; I should have warned you before letting you dive into a tangle over a sweater sale bin."

"Is Natsuki's ankle all right?"

"From when I hooked it around that one rack so that the old lady with the shopping cart couldn't just push it out of the way to cut you off from the housewares section? Yeah, it's fine; I'll ice it when we get home. Man, I never knew a septuagenarian could get up that much momentum."

"It was very neatly done. Mai should know what kind of sacrifice you went through to obtain a his-and-hers-and-his towel set."

"Eh, that would just ruin the fun. I've got to say, though, I'm glad you're with me instead of Nao this year. She's sneaky, but you can't count on her to stand up to the enemy when the going gets tough. She'd have bailed out and been halfway to the taiyaki stand by the time the first fire broke out, like she'd never heard of sprinkler systems before."

Shizuru shook her head.

"In this case, I believe Miss Yuuki's opinion of humanity is regrettably proven true."

"This year has been a little bit worse. It's probably Alyssa's fault," Natsuki decided.

"Oh? How so?"

"Well, the Searrs Foundation has been making steady inroads in the Fuuka area ever since the HiME Festival ended. I mean, it's just their financial enterprises now, but back before the Festival District One kept throwing up bureaucratic roadblocks to keep even that off Japanese soil so that their rivals didn't get a toehold. With them destroyed, Searrs has been bringing American retail customs to Fuuka and Tsukimori at an ever-increasing pace."

"I see." Shizuru picked up a snow pea pod between her chopsticks, popped it into her mouth, and munched while thinking. "Well, at the very least I can say it has opened me up to new shared experiences with my Natsuki. Even if this particular part of those experiences seems unnecessary."

Natsuki shook her head.

"We're only halfway through the mall. Gotta stop and fuel up if we're going to make it through the afternoon. Shopping on an empty stomach's an amateur mistake that's left more than a few people without enough strength for that last push. Food-court Chinese food has the exact balance of sugars, spices, and deep-fryer batter to push you through the critical late hours and keep you from ending up checking on this season's winter footwear from the underside." Illustrating her point, she picked up a shrimp ring and bit down.

"I suppose that you are the expert."

Not quite ready to face her soggy spring roll, Shizuru instead picked up her fortune cookie and broke it open.

"You're smirking," Natsuki observed. Shizuru handed over her fortune.

"Huh. 'It's high time for one of your most promising ideas.' I hope this doesn't mean you figure it's time to go home."

"Natsuki ikezu." The mock innocence positively radiated off of her, but she pressed a hand to her heart in a shocked attitude just to complete the picture. "I gave my word that I would assist you with your shopping endeavors, and I am prepared to stay until the mall closes if necessary."

"Then what?"

"I happened to notice that Mairi's Intimates is having a thirty-percent-off sale storewide, and I think I deserve something special for my diligent service."

"Since when do you want fancy lingerie as a gift?" Natsuki asked.

She really should have known better.

"Why, Natsuki, even though you are a collector, surely you are aware that when the gift is lingerie, the gift isn't for the one who wears it."

"…I'm going to go grab another order of dumplings. Somehow I've got the feeling that I'm going to need the extra energy."

~X X X~

A/N: Happy Cyber Monday, everyone!