Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater

(featuring the Munakata family pet)

"This is it!" Shiho said, punching her fist into her palm with determination. She was suffused by the spirit of Dedication! and Resolution! and wanted to make sure it showed. "Today I take the first step towards making my oniichan mine at last!"

"I thought that Tate was officially involved with Mai Tokiha now?" Arika Yumemiya asked. Her curiosity was echoed by Yatagarasu, who gave a questioning caw from his perch on Shiho's shoulder.

"And?"

"Well, I thought you'd given up on him?"

"It's precisely because he's involved with Mai that I'm not giving up! It was one thing when he and Reito Kanzaki were fighting to win over that carrot-topped strumpet, but now both of them are dating her at once! And probably Mikoto, too, though I think she still thinks of a 'date' as the fruit. My oniichan deserves a woman who will devote all of herself to him. Ahhh, his manliness is too much to be contained by anything less than the purest, most dedicated love!"

"I guess it's like my grandmother says; people in unconventional relationships have it kind of rough."

"Exactly!" Shiho said, pumping her fist. "I have to show oniichan what he could be getting!"

Arika had actually meant that people in relationships that didn't follow the generic expectations set by society had to deal with a lot of complaints and weird pressure from outsiders, but Shiho wasn't listening. Arika thought she could almost see the little hearts bubbling out of Shiho's ears as she rhapsodized. It was pretty amazing, really, outside of animation or manga.

"Um, okay, but…why are we here, sempai?"

"Behold, Arika, a woman's battlefield." Shiho swept her hands out, encompassing the area. "The department store sales floor! Here, I will go to war, emerging with the perfect birthday gift to show that I am the one and only woman meant for Yuuichi Tate! Once he sees it, he will understand that we are meant to be together, that only I can build him the household that he's always dreamed of!"

"Oh, so he gave you a list of exactly what he wants, then?" Arika asked, since she thought this particular store was a bit of an odd choice to find a present for a college boy.

"That would just be crass," Shiho said archly. "Oniichan would never be so unromantic. And besides, if you truly love someone, you should know what they want through your own diligent observation. Requesting a list or asking a close friend for advice is just admitting that your own devotion isn't adequate! C'mon, Yatagarasu!"

To Arika, that declaration sounded like the kind of thing that resulted in most of the ugly Christmas sweater sales across the world, but Shiho had already turned and rushed into the seething mass of shoppers.

Shiho was a slightly built girl, but it was important to remember that she, too, was a HiME, once a Battle Maiden gifted with supernatural powers, who had even scored a victory during the Festival. She punched, kicked, elbowed, bit, scratched, head-butted, knee-dropped, and power-bombed with the aplomb of the most seasoned sale-floor warriors and all the strength that only True Love could give.

The pet crow with laser breath didn't hurt her chances, either.

It took the better part of ten minutes, but at last she emerged from the scrum, battered and disheveled, skirt torn, scarf untied, her white shirt stained by blood, sweat, tears, and pepper spray, the once immaculately-curled hair on the left side of her head tumbling loose past her shoulders, but wearing a smile of triumphant glory on her face as mighty as Oda Nobunaga's after Okehazama and bearing above her head an extremely nice set of patterned tablecloths and doilies marked down to thirty percent off.

"With this, I will show oniichan the vision of the perfect home life I will build for us! Oh, but can you hold Yatagarasu for a bit? I want to have both hands free until I've completed the purchase."

"Sure!"

Yatagarasu fluttered down and perched on Arika's offered arm while Shiho headed for the checkout line, apparently confident enough in her own skills to go without covering fire. Probably it was because her fiercest rival was on her way to the stylist to try to deal with the burnt stripe lasered through the middle of her hairdo.

"Yatagarasu, would you like to stay over at my place for a week or so?" Arika offered. He gave an affirmative caw at once and emphatically bobbed his head up and down for good measure.

After all, he too could see that Shiho was going to have to eat crow in the very near future, and he had no desire to be nearby at the time in case she turned metaphor into reality!

~X X X~

A/N: Happy birthday to my very best friend, Fuyu no Sora, who would be a much better owner of a three-eyed, one-legged laser crow than any version of Shiho!