Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater

(featuring a Kuga-Fujino family pet)

"This is the day, Yukino!" Haruka Suzushiro exulted. "This is the day that, after more than two years of trying, I finally put that purple tea-swiller in her place!"

Yukino, being the considerably less hot-headed member of the pair, wasn't so sure about that.

"Haruka, wouldn't it be better if you waited until the results were posted?"

"Ordinarily I would agree with you. We don't want to count our chickens before they hatch. But this time it's a calamity that I'll win."

"Did you mean 'certainty,' Haruka?"

"I've already gotten my scores back for this round of exams in my individual classes. I got a perfect score on all of them. There's not even one point off for Fujino to use to slip in past me!"

"Ara, is someone taking my name in vain?"

The two girls turned to see the very Shizuru Fujino that Haruka had been talking about standing there on the entrance steps. She looked every bit the lady as always, dressed in a cashmere sweater the color of fresh cream and a knee-length skirt in deep blue. Her dark red eyes seemed to hint at hidden secrets, things understood that not even the person they were gazing at knew about themselves. Secrets that her enigmatic smile promised were nothing like her own. It was a beauty that had captivated many men and women alike.

Yukino was not one of those women. In fact, she found Shizuru to be a bit threatening. Perhaps oddly, this had nothing to do with their history from the HiME Festival. Rather, it was entirely for Haruka's sake. It was a one-sided rivalry between the two of them, one that Haruka had forced upon Shizuru but which Shizuru was not blithely unaware of the way one sometimes saw in fiction.

There was also the fact that the average elegant Kyoto lady did not have a large purple six-headed hydra by her side, its harness connected to a leash. Apparently, she was taking Kiyohime for a slither around campus.

"What are you doing here, you bubuzuke-onna?"

"Why, I'm curious about my class ranking. If I do well, Natsuki will praise me." Shizuru beamed. Yukino was still surprised that Natsuki Kuga and Shizuru had gotten together as a couple after all that had gone between them during the Festival, but she supposed that she was the last one who should be criticizing people's complex relationships. "And, of course, I wanted to do some shopping for Kiyohime." She held up the bag in her left hand.

Shizuru's CHILD looked up at them and hissed in greeting.

By contrast, it was Haruka's lack of complexity that had driven her to want to surpass Shizuru. Part of it was of course mere pride in her abilities and desire to achieve the best that she could for herself. More than that, though, their personalities were in direct conflict. Where Haruka was brash, Shizuru was sly and cautious. Where Haruka was honest and plain-spoken, Shizuru was deceitful and manipulative. Where Haruka was diligent and energetic, Shizuru was lazy, exercising exactly as much energy as was necessary to achieve her goals and not one bit more. In their third year of high school, Shizuru had utterly crushed Haruka in the election for student council president, and then fobbed off nearly all of the work on her subordinates—especially Haruka, who'd served as head of the Executive Committee.

That a person like that seemed to be able to constantly surpass Haruka at will was a relentless irritant for the blonde.

"Let's go, then. I can't wait to see the look on your face when you see the list."

On the other hand, Yukino thought, sometimes Haruka just makes it harder on herself. For someone with Shizuru's personality, some of what Haruka did was akin to tossing chunks of fresh meat in front of a starving tiger. She could no more not tease than water could stop being wet.

"You're very confident today, Miss Suzushiro. I must look to my laurels."

"Darned right!"

They strolled along the campus paths, Haruka continuing to bluster, Shizuru continuing to deftly respond with tiny needles that Haruka was too thick-skinned to even be pricked by. Kiyohime slithered happily along, sometimes on the path, other times straying off to the side on the grass, apparently enjoying the different textures on her belly. Yukino tagged along behind them.

"Looks like the rankings are up," Haruka said, pointing to the notice board outside the administration building. A small crowd was gathered in front of it, constantly in motion as students walked off after noting their results while others arrived.

"Now it's time for the worm to earn at last, Fujino! Take a look at—"

"It's 'turn,' Haruka," Yukino put in, but despite the sudden silence, she doubted that Haruka heard her. She was entirely too transfixed by what she saw on the board.

#2: Haruka Suzushiro

Which by itself was nothing to be upset about. Haruka wasn't fixated on being first so long as she could sincerely say that she'd given it her best effort. Rather, it was the line above it, appearing with the seeming inevitability of destiny, that caused her mouth to sag open and her dialogue to be cut short.

#1: Shizuru Fujino

"What? But— But I— How? I had a perfect average!"

Indeed, the figure 100 in the column next to Haruka's name testified to her excellence. However, that same figure also appeared next to Shizuru's name.

"I think it's because Miss Fujino has two more credit hours this trimester than you do, Haruka," Yukino said, continuing to read across the columns. "It looks like they used that as a tie-breaker."

"I—but—that's— Gahhh!" Haruka yowled, ruffling her own hair in frustration. She spun around and faced Shizuru, leveling her finger at the other woman.

"You—you did this on purpose! You set up your schedule this way so there was no way I could surpass you!"

Shizuru blinked.

"Ara, that would have been quite sly of me," she said, "to take on extra classwork to merely prepare myself in the case our performance was tied. Perhaps I should tell Natsuki about your theory," she added brightly. "She is always calling me out for being lazy, so I definitely want her to know that other people think that I work hard."

The thing with Shizuru was that there was no way to know for sure. She was entirely capable of putting this plan into place nearly four months ago. She was also just as capable of endlessly teasing Haruka over a complete coincidence.

"Of course you did it on purpose. Don't think I didn't notice that the only time you've ever finished out of the top ten was the second session last year when I took the trimester off to work on a family prospect!"

"That's 'project,' Haruka."

"You're a snake, Fujino, right to your tea-soaked core! It's no surprise that's your pet! Snakes for a snake!"

She jabbed a finger towards Kiyohime, who apparently did not take this happily and rose up, hissing. Her fourth head even breathed out a little jet of steam.

"Kiyohime is a hydra, not a snake," Shizuru snapped back. This wasn't her usual manner, or even the strange, dissonant serenity she had shown when angry during the HiME Festival. This was just a young woman getting mad because someone was talking smack (or snek) about her pet.

"Haruka, don't you think that's a little much?" Yukino certainly wouldn't have liked it if someone had called her Diana a cactus!

"Okay, there are six of them with one body, but it's still six snakes, then."

"Hydras are very different from snakes!" Shizuru shot back, and thrust her hand into her shopping bag. She yanked out something thin and round in a sharp, almost violent movement that made Yukino flinch. All Shizuru did, though, was to hand the object to Kiyohime, who wrapped several of her necks around it.

"Is that a clarinet?"

"An E-flat clarinet, since she's still a beginner."

Kiyohime's third head settled over the mouthpiece, while the other five moved to the fingerholes, and she began to play a creditable rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

"You see?" Shizuru challenged Haruka. "Snake hearing only extends into the low tones, but a hydra's covers well up into the full human range. You've never seen a snake play a woodwind, have you?"

It must never be said that Haruka Suzushiro lacked the guts to face an unpalatable truth.

"No, I can honestly admit that I haven't. Sorry, Kiyohime, that was expensive of me."

"It's 'excessive,' Haruka."

"I liked her version better," Shizuru murmured, since they'd missed the instrument sale at the music store by a day. "It's too bad we didn't make a bet."

~X X X~

A/N: "Snek" is admittedly a bit Internetty for narration, but it does rhyme much better with "smack" than "snake" does!