Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater

(featuring the Kuga-Fujino family pets)

"Why is it that these things always have to happen to me?" Natsuki Kuga moaned. Or possibly whined; there's a lot of crossover between the two.

"Well, you were the one who wanted to go swimming," Shizuru Fujino pointed out. Kiyohime nodded all six of her heads. While the hydra could swim, she much preferred to just stretch out on the beach and feel the sun on her scales.

"Of course I did," Natsuki complained. "I can sunbathe in our backyard, if I really felt like it. We came to the beach because there's an ocean here, and an ocean means swimming!"

Duran gave a hearty woof at that. Like most dogs, he enjoyed a good swim. This was perhaps surprising, given that he was made out of metal, but his theory was that if it worked for battleships and oil tankers it could work for him, and in general he was correct, so long as Natsuki remembered to take him to the auto body shop for his anti-corrosion and rustproofing treatments before beach season.

"Well, then, you shouldn't have worn that bathing suit. It was clearly never meant to swim in."

"You gave me that bathing suit, Shizuru! You begged, teased, cajoled, pleaded, and bribed me into getting it."

Shizuru blinked.

"Bribed?"

"You bought Duran a chew toy. Ask any dog owner; a gift for the pet is a gift for the person."

Kiyohime's fifth head hissed curiously at Duran, obviously interested in finding out how a hydra could get in on this "bribe the pet to curry favor with the owner" action.

"All right, so yes, I definitely encouraged you to buy that bikini. But I never imagined that Natsuki would choose it on a day that she intended to go in swimming. A skimpy bikini is meant to show off a sexy figure to the eyes of the one wants to impress. I merely hoped to see my girlfriend in all her glory."

Shizuru had, it must be admitted, suited her actions to her words. Coming after Natsuki was the closest she'd gotten to the water all day, as she was wearing a purple string bikini decorated with white sakura blossoms. A matching sarong was tied around her hips, the knot leaving her left leg bare and covering the waistband so that it gave the illusion she wasn't wearing anything underneath.

If it was an illusion. This was Shizuru, after all.

"Well, you're certainly seeing whatever glory I have to offer right now!" Natsuki yelped.

The four of them were, at that moment, standing in a secluded nook formed by a rock formation well away from the beach's main recreational area. The reason for this was strikingly obvious for anyone looking at Natsuki. Her bikini, meant more as a floor sample at a dental floss manufacturer's convention than as a swimsuit, had had an entirely predictable response to the wind-stirred Pacific water and was probably halfway to Alaska at that point.

Not that Shizuru wasn't enjoying the view, but she preferred for Natsuki to be undressed in locations where she could do something about it or at least could relax and stare without having to waste some of her attention on solving the problem.

"Fortunately, we rented a car to come here today, so if we can just get you there we can go home without further trouble."

"Yeah, with my usual luck this would have happened on a day we took the bus. No, if we'd taken the bus I'd have worn normal clothes and changed into my suit here so you could have just grabbed my clothes. Damn."

"In retrospect, that would have been the better strategy regardless of our choice of transport."

"I really don't want to hear that from you, Miss 'Oh, but I want to drive to the beach with the top down and my beautiful Natsuki as her sexiest beside me.' Today is a whole class in why I shouldn't go along with your ideas!"

It was a measure of how seriously Shizuru was taking the situation that she didn't immediately moan "Natsuki ikezu!" In all fairness, as much as she liked to tease, she generally didn't carried away with it when more important things were going on.

After all, she could just save it for later.

"I do seem to be losing credit rapidly," she sighed.

"So what are we going to do? We're out of the way here, but anyone could just come along, from swimmers to rock-climbing kids."

"Indeed, we do need to find something to cover you with."

"What about the beach towel? I could wrap up in it."

Shizuru shook her head.

"Do you remember that big gust of wind a few minutes ago, just before we got here?"

"Yes..." Natsuki had a feeling she wasn't going to like this.

"Well, since all three of us came running after you to see what was wrong, there was nothing holding down the towel and..."

Natsuki buried her face in her palm.

"I have got to start trusting those feelings. It blew away?"

"Right into the ocean. Perhaps it was attempting to go find your swimsuit?"

Natsuki sighed. Kiyohime's second head gave her leg a comforting nuzzle.

"Thanks, girl." She reached down and scratched the head behind its crest. She then straightened up as an idea hit her. "Hey, how about that?" She pointed at Shizuru's sarong. "If I tied it at my back, it's just long enough to cover all the bits that need covering, and if you walked behind me so nobody could see my bare butt hanging out...you're shaking your head. Why not?"

"Because then all I would have on is my top."

Natsuki blinked.

"Seriously?"

"I would hardly lie about it under the present circumstances."

"Fair enough. Let me guess, you were eventually going to tell me, late enough that it wouldn't mess with me all day but early enough that it'd hopefully get me all hot and bothered for when we got home?"

"Natsuki is getting good at understanding teasing strategy!" Shizuru said with a proud smile.

"Which is all well and good, but it means that I can't make a mad dash to the car. Maybe you could go and buy me some clothes? There were some shops about a mile back, weren't there? I'll just have to take my chances that nobody comes along while I'm waiting."

"I guess that it seems to be the only choice. Will you be all right waiting alone?"

"Duran and Kiyohime can stay with me. Between us, we should be able to handle anything that comes along, unless it's the cops. Which it probably would be, given the way my luck is going today."

Duran moved in front of her and gave a loyal woof, declaring his willingness to chase off anyone who came along, even if they did have the legal power to review his firearms license. Kiyohime coiled a neck around her calf and offered a reassuring hug.

Shizuru snapped her fingers.

"That's it!"

"What is?"

~X X X~

When Natsuki had spoken of making a "mad dash" to the car, she meant it quite literally. While it had been a couple of years since she'd been forced to fight any alien monsters or government conspirators, she'd diligently kept herself in top shape with regular exercise. So she covered the hundred yards or so to the parking area in a very short time, giving the other beach-goers little time to notice more than that her purple swimsuit seemed to have a large tail looking not unlike a squid's body fixed to the small of her back.

Kiyohime just tried her best to hold on tight without accidentally poking a nose somewhere that would cost her the treats she'd been promised for helping out.

~X X X~

A/N: Happy birthday to my very own Natsuki, Tarma Hartley, and I hope this story gives you some ideas for proper birthday attire!