WARNING: Spoilers for chapter 127!
March Forward, Lost Soldiers
Onyankopon stood at the edge of the forest, having no idea what to do or feel. He'd dedicated himself to Zeke's mission for years, yet it had turned out to not be what he thought it was at all. On top of it, Yelena, who had gotten him involved in the first place, was nothing she had said she was. Everything he'd been working for had been a lie.
"Just what am I supposed to do now?" of course, he knew that the thing to be done was to save the world from the rumbling, but there were two problems with it: one, it was way easier said than done and two, he had no idea how in the world could he help with it. Magath had thought Yelena might have an idea of what route Eren would take. That was smart, and it made Onyankopon regret that it hadn't been him who directly taught Eren about the world. Had it been him, he could be of use now.
"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Onyankopon almost jumped at the voice. Whirling around in alarm, he relaxed as he realized it was just Jean who was emerging from the forest.
"I needed to think about things" he admitted with a sigh. Remembering how upset Jean had been when he'd stormed off, he asked: "Are you okay?"
"Yeah" Jean said with a sigh "As okay as one can be in this situation, anyway."
"Will you be able to…" Onyankopon didn't finish, for he wasn't sure what exactly would they have to do. Fight? Talk?
"I'll do what I can" the young man said "To the bitter end if I have to."
"…"
"Sorry" Jean let out a laugh "I suppose that was a bit too dark."
"Not at all" Onyankopon lied "…Can I ask you something?"
"Sure"
"Why didn't you join Floch and the others? You could've- "
"You already asked that" Jean said, looking away "I know it would've been the easiest way. I seriously thought about it. But I just… I couldn't."
Jean let out a bitter laugh.
"Trying to do the right thing always puts me in harm's way."
Onyankopon didn't know what to say to that.
"All I can do is to advance and hope that I've made the right choice" the young soldier continued "It sucks."
"Do you regret having become a soldier?"
"All the time" Jean answered without missing a beat. He looked at his hand, like he was holding something, not that Onyankopon could see what it was, before he said: "But if I'd quit now, I'd regret that for the rest of my life; it'd never go away."
He looked up.
"But if we can solve this properly, my regret for becoming a soldier will."
He said it with such conviction and certainty that questioning him was not an option. This soldier, younger than him by almost ten years, had chosen the path he'd follow despite not knowing what waited alongside it. And Onyankopon would be damned if he chickened out in front of him, in front of all these youngsters.
"Right" he said.
They'd make this work.
They had to.