A.N: I wrote this a few days before the last chapter came out, which is why it's not in line with the canon.

WARNING: Spoilers up to chapter 138.

Saving

"…e's coming to!"

"…be okay?"

"I'm sure… is"

Jean felt dizzy, but he could hear the voices. Armin, Mikasa… and was the third one Annie? …No, it was less familiar than that. Pieck? Yes, that was Pieck's voice.

He groaned, opening his eyes. His sight was a little blurry before it focused on the worried faces of Armin and Mikasa right above him. He could see Pieck too a little further away.

"Jean!" Armin's smile was bright, and Jean tried not to grimace at his loud voice. That'd be rude; the guy was just happy that he was okay, right?

"What happened?" Jean's memory was a little hazy. He remembered that they'd been fighting Eren, that Pieck and the others had reunited with their families, and then…

…

…What happened after that?

He saw Armin and Mikasa exchange looks, quick and meaningful. If he didn't know them so well, he would've dismissed it as nothing, but he knew that wasn't the case. Frowning, he asks again: "What happened?"

"Eren's dead" Mikasa starts, short and to the point, ignoring Jean's shock "I killed him."

Jean blinks.

So, Eren was gone? Sad, in a way; he'd been their comrade after all, but this would save the world. But what had happened to Jean himself? Also, why was he only with the three of them?

"Where are the others?"

Those two did it again.

"The captain's not far from us, but he fainted from exhaustion. The injuries are still taking a toll on him" Armin told "Falco and Annie went to look for Onyankopon and other non-Eldian survivors."

When Armin didn't continue after that, Jean got a really bad feeling.

"Where are the others? Connie, Gabi? Reiner?"

They did it for the third time.

"Jean… they're gone" Mikasa told him "We're the only ones left."

The shock of it all brought the memories to the surface. He remembered the gas, his talk with Connie-

And then, nothing until he opened his eyes here.

"…How am I still alive?"

Fourth time. Those two needed to stop doing that.

"You turned in to a titan, and then you- "Armin cut himself off, biting his lip "…Jean, you're the Armored Titan now."

Jean froze. It couldn't be, he couldn't be-! Why would he, no, why would Reiner, pick him? If the man was going to get eaten, it should've been by his own cousin! Why-!?

"You bit his neck during the fight" Armin told, making Jean realize he'd said it all aloud "Which is why it ended up being you."

Jean could only stare at his friends in horror. He'd killed Reiner? Reiner? They had some really bad blood between them, yes, but he'd actually killed him? And on accident, without even remembering it?

"No no no, that can't be, no" he held his head, shaking it over and over again "This isn't how it was supposed to go."

"Jean- "

"This isn't how it was supposed to go!" he screamed again. What was the point of having survived through all this if he was one of the very few survivors, and a friend killer on top of that? What was the-

SLAP

Jean felt his cheek stinging, it did indeed still hurt even if injuries healed fast, and saw Pieck now between him and the other two, crouched down to his level.

"Enough, Jean" she said "That's just how it is now."

"How it is? How it is!? I fucking ate my friend and turned in to a titan! And you just say that's just how it is!" Jean yelled, and he saw his friends behind the woman wince, but Pieck herself simply stared at him, unblinking.

"Exactly" she said "That's how it is. That's how it was for me, for Reiner, for Annie, and that's how it is for you. That's all there is to it."

Jean stared at her, and she stared right back, unflinching. They sat there like that for a moment, or so Jean thought; he had no idea how long actually passed, before he broke down in to sobs. Why was he crying again? They'd done what they came to do, and he was alive. He'd been prepared to die so, so many times, yet when all was said and done, he was still here, still alive.

"This is so fucked up" he muttered. He was alive. For only 13 more years but, for now, alive. He shouldn't be crying.

"That's life for you" Pieck said, a wry smile on her face "Always fucked up, no matter what we do."

Had Jean not agreed 100 %, he would've protested just to have something to say, something to distract himself with.

"You guys made it!" fortunately, distraction arrived in the form of Onyankopon, supported by Annie as Falco followed behind them.

"Barely" Jean breathed out, trying to vibe away his tears "But yeah."

"What about Connie?" he asks, and Jean winces, both at the reminder and the sight of Onyankopon getting elbowed in to his ribs by Annie. Fortunately, that's enough of an answer for the man.

"What now?" Annie asks suddenly.

"Now we go home" says Levi as he walks, or more like limbs, over "Before any survivors find us and decide it's better to kill the Island Devils when they have a chance."

"How are we getting home?" Jean asks, glad that he had managed to vibe away most of his tears before Levi came over. The captain turns to Falco, and the boy gets the hint.

"I'm probably able to fly you back… though I think I need a bit more rest"

"Fair" Levi says, eyeing the two other remaining warriors "And what are you two going to do?"

Pieck and Annie exchange glances.

"…I have nothing left here, and my time is almost over" Annie says "So unless you want to kill me here, I'd like to tag along and see what I could still do for Paradis."

"I have no intention of cutting your suffering short" Levi tells, and Jean knows that's his way of promising Annie that he at the very least won't be taking her head as long as she doesn't turn on them "And you?"

Everyone's attention is on Pieck now, and Jean wonders what she'll do, for unlike Annie and Falco, she didn't have even the minimal ties to the island.

"…It's not like I have anything left here, either, and I won't live any longer than Annie, anyway" Pieck says after a long silence, or perhaps it only felt long for Jean "So if you don't mind, I could tag along."

Jean certainly doesn't mind. He felt like having someone along who understood what he was feeling, even a little bit, would be good. Armin wouldn't do as he and Bertolt had been enemies when the man died, trying to get anything out of Annie was impossible unless you were a tiny colossal blond, and he certainly wouldn't even consider sharing his worries with Falco, a child.

Not that it would be fair to burden Pieck with his own worries during her last years, but the idea that she'd be there if he someday really felt like talking was comforting.

"Mind if I come too?" Onyankopon asks "I want to return to see what's left of my home country eventually, but for now, I'd like to see if there's still something I can do for Paradis."

"I'm sure there's still something" Armin agreed "We'll head out once Falco's rested enough."

Jean was kind of thankful for that; he also felt like he still needed some rest.

XXXXX

Jean sighed in frustration as he slammed the door to his apartment in the capital shut. It had been four months since the rumbling had been stopped, and while there was now peace on the island, people were restless and there were still at least small fights between civilians every day. Normally, controlling situations like these was the job of the MPs, but with so many of them dead due to the poisoned wine, the sudden increase of the need for law enforcement and the general respect he suddenly held from the population, he had his hands full with trying to keep up the order. He was beat.

"You look sour" Jean nearly jumped, having thought that he was alone. But no, of course not; Pieck was there. She'd stayed there when he left in the morning. And the morning before that. She'd been offered a place of her own, but she'd refused, deciding to switch between staying with either him, the captain, or Annie who was once more sharing a place with Hitch. But for some odd reason, mostly with him. Not that he minded; he needed the company with how used to he was staying with others. Either his ever-loud squad or his mom who could rival them all in the terms of noise she made if she wanted to. He should probably visit her soon; he had sent a letter, but had not told her about his time limit. That was something that had to be told face to face.

"Hello, The Cart to The Horse, does The Horse copy?" Pieck called, and Jean glared. He cursed Annie all the way to hell and back for teaching her about the damn nickname "At least say The Armor."

"Just yesterday you complained how you don't like that since it's Reiner's title" Pieck pointed out, and Jean scowled as he slumped on the couch next to her "So Horse it is, unless you prefer the full title of Horseface."

"Shut up" he says, closing his eyes "Besides, have you ever taken a look in the mirror while in your titan form? If anyone's a horseface then it's you."

"Guess we look alike, then!" Pieck cheers good naturedly, and Jean would've scowled had he been able to, but a smile persistently surfaced on his face instead. After a tiring day of work, this meaningless idle talk with Pieck was certainly needed and well deserved. She had the ability to take his mind off of things.

"Maybe I should take her along when I break the news to mom and have her work as a distraction."

As good as the idea felt in theory, Jean immediately felt guilty for even coming up with it. He was already using Pieck to distract himself; he shouldn't do her more wrong.

"You're thinking something heavy or plain stupid again" Pieck says, wrapping her arms around Jean's shoulders. The first time she'd done that, he'd bolted up and hastily backed away to the other side of the room, leaving the laughing woman behind as he blushed furiously. This time, he only tenses a little before relaxing in her arms. He was pretty much used to her tricks by now "Actually, it's probably heavy and stupid."

"Just shut up" Jean says, but there's no heat behind his words. Once more, he wonders why Pieck spends so much time with him instead of her childhood friend Annie. Could it be that they'd never really been close? Or did she not want to intrude on the close pair that was Hitch and Annie? In Jean's opinion, she should; Hitch was all whiny about being the third wheel whenever Armin came to the town. If she and Pieck became close, maybe she'd stop being so whiny.

…

But honestly, Jean was by no means about to voice his thoughts. He felt at ease with Pieck, and if she wanted to stay around, he wasn't going to jeopardize that.

Despite everything, right now Jean Kirstein of the Survey Corps was happy.