Hey guys,
this chapter turned into a bit of a monster, so I decided to split it in two smaller parts.
Hope you enjoy ;)
Beastars – Into the spotlight
Chapter 23 – A reason to stay strong Part.1 (Feat. RedLiteAlexi)
POV Aoba
Legoshi was back, and he was back with a vengeance. When his motivation for the drama-club had been at an all-time low a few weeks ago when Sanu proposed to do "Heracles" as our next project and the wolf had just shut him down alongside with the principal, he now was on fire.
Just like with Volpone, the piece we now did took place in Venice, Italy, and the stage-build Sanu thought of was just insane. He´s managed to borrow a big revolving stage from the city theatre we´ve performed at with our earlier two pieces, and the art department was working over-time on building two solid wooden walls in the middle of it. It split the circle into three rooms, two half-circles and a small straight one between the two parallel walls, and there were two doors on the outer sides of each wall, so they all were accessible to the actors.
He really went all in with this as it seemed. I couldn´t quite tell who gave him the permission to do this and who was funding it, but he didn´t get in any kind of trouble for it so far.
I´ve done my research, looked the piece up online, searched for performances of professional theatres, and then I realized how insane this whole thing actually was. I came to the conclusion that this either must have something to do with Legoshi being a Beastar and quite famous in general after that Clan-fight, or it must have something to do with the theatre that helped us with this. Maybe they wanted our stage-build afterwards, maybe they wanted Legoshi to work there as an actor after his graduation.
Whatever it was in the end, I found it really exciting and I loved the piece since the first time I´ve heard of it.
´The servant of two masters.´ A comedy by an Italian named Carlo Goldoni, telling the story of a hungry servant who, upon realizing that working for two masters simultaneously could ensure him a greater supply of food and wealth, tries to do the job of two men while working desperately to conceal that fact from both his employers.
The whole show would be a firework of slapstick, awkward situations, twisted intentions and athletic precision. At least it was supposed to be, so this meant we would have to do a lot of work once again.
Being known for the slightly quirky roles in the meanwhile, I had got the role of the servant of course. The lead-role. The star of the show.
But I wasn´t doing all the heavy lifting on my own. Legoshi was playing one of the masters, having to perform a quite complicated and hard role to play as well, and for some weird reason he insisted on Kai playing the role of the other master, his counterpart.
The others in the club weren´t totally convinced by that decision either, but the wolf spent nearly all of his time practicing with us to make this performance as impeccable as possible.
The giant revolving platform that was built for us on the main stage was taking shape in the meanwhile, we already had the doors in the frames and the art department tirelessly worked on a design for the paintjob and the lighting. But as we also needed the stage it to practice, most of our rehearsals took place on the main stage this time.
The walls in the middle of the round, turning platform separated it in two primary parts, one of which resembled Legoshi´s and one was Kai´s house, and the little room between the walls was full of props I had to carry around the stage throughout the performance.
As the masters, they both had various different "guests" at their homes during the play, played by the rest of the drama club members, and as the servant and waiter of the two masters, I was constantly walking against the turning motion of the stage, carrying various different tableaus with cheap plates, glasses and food that would be shattered and completely wasted during each performance.
It was a lot of fun to play, I was pretty sure the audience would really love this piece, but it also was exhausting as hell. This was not easy to pull off convincingly.
Another thing that wondered us a little bit was that Juno wasn´t to be seen in the drama-club anymore. Sanu didn´t say anything about it, but it appeared like she had left the club altogether for some reason.
Rumour had it that she rather wanted to help out in the school´s garden now. I guessed it all had gotten a little too much for her ever since Kai and Legoshi had found that gun on the stage.
Legoshi wasn´t to be stopped anymore though. It seemed like his girlfriend leaving him like that must have ripped a deep hole into his heart and he tried to fix it with trying ever harder.
The video of her had spread in a matter of just a few days. The wolf hadn´t lost a single word about it to anyone.
Not even after he got attacked by some feline teenager who thought he could make a name out of himself by taking him out all on his own. The guy even managed to give him a few new scratches on one of his arms, but when Legoshi had recovered from that surprise attack he roughed him up so bad that he had to be brought to hospital afterwards. Students had witnessed it when Legoshi was on his way to his flat after a long school day and the rumours about that had spread just as quickly as the video of that white furred vixen who claimed to have planned the Shishigumi teardown all by herself.
Legoshi still ignored it though and excelled at being the most-gentle and helpful friend to everybody he worked with. The guys from the drama-club trusted him again and they worked together stronger than ever. We even gave Bill a second chance after a lot of convincing from Legoshi, and although we weren't quite so sure about this yet, we at least got somewhat of a replacement for Juno that way.
"You have to really talk to him more from above" Sanu advised the mongoose after the second time we rehearsed that scene, "Aoba is playing your loyal servant, don't forget that! He´s paid a lot of money to read every wish from your lips! You have to talk to him like that…"
He nodded, trying his best to focus again.
He wasn´t even doing that bad of a job of it in my opinion, it was just the plain comparison to Legoshi that put everything out of perspective once again. He acted this out with a confidence and finesse none of the other actors here, me included, could ever come in any reach to.
"The guests you´re having for dinner are really important" Legoshi reminded him again, "…so your character has to be noticeably nervous about the whole thing."
Kai nodded understandingly, as Legoshi walked back around the stage again to get into position himself.
"Truffaldino, serve us the champagne before the aperitif, will you? And try not to overdo it again this time!" Kai acted out his line again, this time actually hitting it quite accurately.
"Right away, sir" I said with a professional expression, as Kibi got the stage turning and I had to begin walking again.
The wall was coming closer towards me, I quickly opened the first door that separated the two sides of the stage, went through it with a little pirouette, picked up the tableau with the stuff Legoshi had ordered earlier, opened the next door, closed it behind me again quickly and elegantly placed the wine bottle and glasses on the table the grey wolf and his guest played by Bill were sitting at.
"Truffelino, you didn´t forget to cool it this time, right?" the wolf asked in a slightly precarious manner.
"No, sir!" I assured, "…nicely chilled, just like you wanted!"
"I´m paying you good money, Truffelino…" he reminded me again coldly, while the stage mercilessly kept on turning and the wall was coming up again already, "…everything needs to be impeccable tonight!"
"Of course, sir!" I acted out of breath, opening the door on the other side now, "…you can count on me!"
Then I went through the door on the other side and grabbed the tableau with the champagne which my other master just had ordered. It really was hard work to keep up with the stage at that pace, but this time I managed to get through the second door as well without getting caught in the doorframe and spilling anything.
Kai´s side now rotated towards the audience and I arrived the table where he sat with Els and Tao again.
"The finest Brut Cuvée Rosé, sir!" I presented while quickly filling one of the glasses in an elegant motion, "…I hope it´s to your liking!"
"Very good, Truffelino…" Kai said, "…now please make sure nobody disturbs us while I discuss this very important business with my guests here, yeah?"
"The room is all yours sir, best of luck!" I said with a little nod, quickly getting on my way towards the next door once again.
"Alright!" Sanu interrupted contentedly, since that part was over now and Kibi stopped the stage from turning, "We´re getting there!"
"That was awesome guys" Els commented from the side, who played one of the fancy ladies of Kai´s guests, "I love this already!"
"Yeah, me too" Tao agreed, "This is gonna be cool!"
"It´s gonna be hard to keep up with the stage if I have to open and close the doors all the time though…" I panted, as I really was a little out of breath in the meanwhile.
"You could fly around the walls" Legoshi suggested, as he and Bill came walking around the wall so they could join the little gathering.
"Yeah…" I chuckled ironically, "…and I´m just gonna throw the tableaus over the wall, right?"
"…when you don't have one with you of course!" he explained the obvious with a little chuckle, "But I think it would lighten it up a little."
To my big surprise, Sanu even agreed with him on that suggestion.
"When we´re just talking about it" the pelican mentioned, "…I thought you could fly around it a couple of times for the part where it just gets too much to handle the tasks from both masters. It´s a good metaphor for when the chaos breaks loose…"
"I think that´s cool, I like that!" Miguno agreed, joining us from his spot on the stage, still with the guitar strapped around his neck, "…we´ve worked on a tune for that scene by the way."
We all nodded towards him with great interest.
"Hit us!" Legoshi told him excitedly.
The spotted hyena in his fancy black suit nodded towards his band and then they began playing a really fast but quite catchy melody on their instruments, which brought the feeling for chaos across just perfectly in my opinion. It had a heavy and quite fast, almost a little too aggressive drum beat though, but apart from that I immediately liked it. It was powerful and had just the right vibe to it.
"Damn, that´s awesome guys!" Bill commented in genuine excitement, "…just a little too harsh maybe…"
The rest of us shared that opinion as well.
"It´s a little fast…" Sanu agreed, "…but otherwise it´s just what we need!"
"We could start it out a little slower and then pick up the pace when the stage begins turning faster and Aoba sets off to fly around it" Miguno suggested, looking towards his band. They nodded.
"That could work" Legoshi said with a nod, and I could only agree to that as well. I liked that idea too. I´ve had that scene in front of my eyes already.
"Approved" Sanu said contentedly, being captivated by our spirits too, "…now let´s take five everyone and try this scene one more time! This time with music and conversations!"
Normal POV
"When was the last time you´ve actually seen him?" the siberian tiger asked in slight puzzlement, "…I thought he was visiting you on a regular basis?"
"He hasn´t visited me at all" the panda explained with a shrug of his shoulders, "…I´ve just seen him once since Skye left town. He pretty much rushed this place in total panic, wanting to know if I knew anything about it."
"Who is she anyway?" the principal of the Cherryton Highschool wanted to know, "…and what´s her business messing up the Black Market?"
"It´s not so much about the Black Market but the Shishigumi" Gouhin explained, taking another sip from his bamboo tea which his guest had declined rather directly, "…I didn´t fully understand it either, and I´m pretty sure the only one who knows is in fact Legoshi."
"This kid has gotten way too powerful way too quickly" the tiger grunted in annoyance, "…he´s causing all sorts of trouble and we´re just not able to deal with it."
"Quite ironic, isn´t it?" Gouhin chuckled, "…you wanted him to shine in the spotlight, switched it on for him, and now you can´t turn it off anymore."
"I was not asking for clever punchlines, Gouhin!"
"What did you imagine I could tell you right now?"
"Haven´t you been talking to the teenager who attacked him three days ago?"
"The kid is lying in hospital with a broken arm and some little scars. He apparently thought he could take Legoshi down on his own and receive some sort of reward for it…"
"Legoshi didn´t look too concerned about it when I saw him in the hallway this morning..." the principal reported, "...it didn´t seem to bother him at all."
"I think was just defending himself. Legoshi is not violent like that, but Skye has trained him well nevertheless. And he´s handling this just the right way if you ask me."
"Other students still keep their distance from him. They´re scared of him!"
"He´s a wolf. Herbivores will always be somewhat scared of him. He can be the best actor and the most-gentle guy in the world, but he´s still a wolf. He can´t change that. But he has to defend himself and he has to maintain that level of respect he gets from his enemies, or he might not survive it very long."
That was left with a short moment of silence.
"But why have not more people tried to attack him yet?"
"Because it´s not easy. The Inarigumi are always looking out for him. He´s in public places most of the time and in his flat when he´s not. He´s got the entire police force behind him and he is a Beastar. And you´ve seen what happens when somebody tries to act inconspicuous and then attack him on their own."
Gon nodded slowly as that appeared to make sense.
"So we should just keep it going like that?"
Gouhin shrugged his shoulders. "I mean…I don't see why not. The black marked has stabilized a little so the waves are not quite as high anymore."
"Prices have been going up…"
"Predictable enough, wasn´t it?" the panda said with a shrug of his shoulders, "If the supply gets rare, the product gains more value."
"I know all that!"
"Then what do you think I can change about that?" Gouhin remained, still very calmly for being yelled at like that, "The only thing I can do is talk to him. If you have tried that already, I guess my possibilities are limited as well."
"He doesn´t listen to me anymore…" the tiger sighed in visible consternation, "…in all my years as a principal, I´ve never had a student ignoring me like he does. Nothing I say has any importance to him."
"I guess his patience has worn out in the meanwhile. Seems like he´s seen enough to tell what´s important to him or not."
"I should kick him off the school for that behaviour!"
Gouhin shrugged his shoulders again.
"…no, I can´t kick him off the school" Gon sighed, having known that before already, "…now that even the city theatre-house is supporting the drama club."
"They are?"
"I think the mayor wants to make some sort of super-star out of him. The drama-club gets funding beyond belief right now."
"Interesting…"
"It seems to work" the tiger mentioned with a shrug of his shoulders, "And it really boosts the ratings of the school as well. We´ve had almost 15% more students applying for the start of next year."
Gon seemed to be just as excited as he was annoyed by this whole situation, to Gouhin it almost seemed like the Tiger didn´t actually want any of it to change but just needed his approval for that, so he wouldn´t be the only one responsible if anything goes wrong.
"How are his grades by the way?" Gouhin wanted to know, "…he doesn´t get a whole lot of time for studying these days, does he?"
This seemed to slow him down a little however.
"…they have dropped a little in the last months" Gon then waved it off carefully, "…but they´re stable and he´s not in any danger of having to repeat a year."
"Good" Gouhin concluded with a little sigh, seemingly not all that convinced by it but still eager to end this meeting right now, "I´m glad we got to talk about this."
With that he got of his couch and headed towards the door. The Highschool Principal followed him slowly while the Panda opened the door for him.
"I´ll try and talk to him in the near future" Gouhin promised him again, while the tiger exited the building, "…can´t say I´m not a little bit curious myself."
POV Juno
"Hey Kai" I quickly caught his attention when he walked past me in the hallway.
This was it. Now there was no turning back anymore.
"Huh?" he asked, turning around towards the corner I had been hiding behind, "Juno?"
He looked exhausted. The mongoose just came back from the drama club as it seemed, and since Legoshi told me he got a genuine lead role this time, I could imagine how hard he must be practicing to keep up with the others. Maybe this wasn´t the best time to tell him, but I couldn´t think of any better moment either.
"Sorry…" I told him lowly.
"No, it´s fine!" he waved it off quickly, actually being in quite a good mood apparently, "…what´s going on?"
"I…uh…" I said, becoming more nervous with every word, "…I kinda have to tell you something in private."
"Okay…" he said in slight confusion, following me as I waved him to do so.
I went rather quickly when I was leading him up the staircase, already feeling a little bit sick in my stomach again.
Haru and I had discussed that I would do this in the garden with her being in earshot in case he should get aggressive, and Legoshi knew about me wanting to do this today as well, but it still wasn´t an easy thing to do. This would probably change his life forever.
Now there was no turning back anymore though, as he probably knew by now what the only possible reason for this whole secretiveness could be.
He looked a little concerned already when I opened the door to the garden for him, but he still managed to keep his composure for now.
"So…what did you drag me here for?" he nervously asked, being slightly out of breath as well because of the stairs.
I took another look around. Haru was nowhere to be seen right now, but I was pretty sure she wasn´t too far away if I should really need her. She had pretty good ears after all.
"You…" I sighed, knowing full well that I really had to get this over with rather quickly, "…you might want to sit down for this."
POV Legoshi
"So…" he began, pretty much as soon as we were alone in the locker room, "…what´s going on?"
It seemed like he had been taking his time here on purpose for this.
"Huh?" I asked, not being entirely sure what the bald eagle was talking about right now.
"Oh come on, Legoshi…" he chuckled, "…you must know something about Kai that we don't!"
"W-what?" I stuttered, being a bit shocked that he actually noticed.
His smirk just widened a little bit now, then he got off the bench and started impersonating me in the rehearsals earlier.
"Kai…you´re doing that really good already, but you have to take care of all your guests!" he acted out.
"Kai, you have to talk in a different tone to your servant when you have guests sitting at your table. You have to be noticeably friendlier to him as you don't want to come across like an asshole to your guests."
"Kai, try acting a little more cheerful, the character you´re playing should be really likable to the audience…"
I remembered saying all those things to the mongoose today, and now that Aoba was repeating it like that it really came across rather obvious what he meant.
"I mean…" I said, "…I did mean it when I said it…and it´s not like I didn´t ever help you either, is it?" I asked him, not expecting to come very far with that though.
"Well…yeah…" he agreed, "…but it seemed a little…extra ambitious…of you today."
I already knew I couldn´t convince him of anything else anymore, and as I knew he wasn´t one to prattle secrets like that, I decided to just tell him the true reason I was acting like that earlier.
Aoba wouldn't, and also pretty much couldn´t let me down on this, so I was pretty confident this was the right thing to do.
"I tell you this because I trust you" I explained lowly, taking another look around the still empty locker room, "…please don't tell this to anybody else yet!"
He nodded with a serious expression.
"Juno is pregnant."
"What?!"
"Yeah…" I affirmed with a gentle nod, "…that´s why she´s quit the drama club."
He noticeably tried to swallow his excitement right now, predictably being quite shocked by that news as well. Then he nodded understandingly.
"…It´s either me or Kai" I continued, "…but as we can´t be sure of anything yet, it´s time she tells him about this as well. She wanted to do that today…that´s why I wanted to make him feel somewhat comfortable…"
"Wow" he chuckled in slight disbelief, "I had imagined a lot of things to hear right now…but certainly not that."
I nodded with a short shrug of my shoulders.
"Please don't tell anybody about it yet" I asked him once again, "Juno doesn´t need that rumour to get around the entire school right now."
"No, don't worry!" he assured, "I won´t tell anybody!"
Then he tilted his head a little bit. "…I´m not quite sure I´m gonna be able to hide this from him in the rehearsals though, now that I know about it…"
I had expected something like this just as much as I hoped it somehow wouldn´t be like that. But I also was glad he was honest about that right away and talked about it with me.
"Well…" I sighed, "…I guess it won´t be that easy for him to hide either."
"Not even you have been able to hide it completely" he mentioned, "…and at some point the school´s gonna know about it anyway. I´m sorry, but I don't think you can prevent that for very long…"
What he said was just the truth, sadly. I knew he didn´t mean to anger me, and I was glad he hit me in the face with that straight away, but it sadly didn´t solve the problem at hand.
"I know…" I sighed, "…this is going to be hard for her, no matter who the father is."
He nodded slowly.
"Come on" he then said with a little smile, "…you´ve had harder challenges to master already!"
He somehow seemed rather enthusiastic about it now.
"I´m not so sure about that to be honest" I said with a little sigh, trying to force a little smile as well.
"…just know I´m here for you, no matter what happens!" he told me, now with a more serious expression, "You guys have been there for me as well, and I don't care what anyone says!"
I nodded with a contented little smile.
"Thanks Aoba! I knew I could trust you with this!"
I gave him a chummy little hug, then we headed for the exit as we both were finished here since quite a while already. My day wasn´t quite over yet and there were still a few points on my list.
First of all, I wanted to find out how Kai had taken the news though.
POV Kai
"Nobody knows about it yet" she had assured me, "…so I guess it´s up to you if the whole school finds out or not."
In the moment she said that this didn´t seem like it was the biggest and most important issue right now. At that point I was still trying to figure out if she was really serious about this, or if she would reveal that she had just been pulling a really bad prank on me for whatever reason.
But it never came. She was dead serious about having forgotten to take the pill by accident, and she had made it dead clear that it wasn´t unlikely for me to be the father of the child.
"It´s either gonna be you or Legoshi. I just want you to be aware."
It made sense that she wanted to tell me about it as soon as possible, but that didn´t change anything about the fact that I got completely kicked out of my life because of those news.
On my way back to my dorm, the first fog that clogged up my mind cleared away slowly but surely and I began sorting the information in my head. Some things were just so obvious all over sudden.
"That´s why she left the drama-club! She can´t perform on stage when she´s pregnant!"
It all made so much sense right now. Why haven't I seen this earlier?
"That´s why Legoshi wanted me to have a lead role again! That´s why he´s trying so hard to make it work! He knew about this already! He knew she would tell me about this today! He tried to prepare me for something really big!"
Then I suddenly remembered the day when we found that second gun on the stage.
"That´s when she told him! That´s why she was crying and hugging him when I randomly met them behind the stage!"
I was so captivated in my thoughts I almost ran against the door to my dorm, not even having searched for the key in my pockets yet. Everything around me was just a blur right now.
I burst into the room after I finally managed to open it, not understanding myself what the big rush was, immediately gaining the attention of everybody in the room though.
"What´s up with you?" William wanted to know, looking a little bewildered already, and I immediately knew I couldn´t stay here right now. They knew something was wrong and they wouldn´t stop asking questions.
"It´s…" I panted, really struggling to make it sound believable, "…it´s nothing."
"Come on, dude…" he chuckled, "…can´t be nothing. Tell us!"
I just shook my head quickly. This was too much right now, I wasn´t prepared to deal with all this male macho energy and eventually the gloating that would follow.
I just tossed my backpack onto my bed, took a quick look around the room and then immediately went for the exit again.
They all just looked after me without saying a word, but after I had closed the door behind me and got onto my way down the hallway, I heard it open behind me again almost immediately and somebody stepped out of it quickly.
"Kai! Wait up!" Tyler shouted behind me.
I wasn´t quite sure if I really needed him for good advice right now, but as I hadn´t regretted it the last few times either, and I actually trusted him somewhat, I didn´t say anything for now.
He followed me all the way to the exit of the building and then into the park.
"Don't tell me everything is alright now" he started, "…I know it isn't."
"It isn't" I told him dryly, "…but I´m not sure I should talk to anyone about this."
"You can talk to me if you want" he immediately offered without any hesitation, "…and I promise you, I won´t be telling anyone about it! Nobody cares about anything I would have to say anyway."
I took a short look at the other mongoose, then I slowed down in my step a little. Maybe it would help to talk to somebody about it after all.
"Juno just told me she´s pregnant."
"W-what, really-"
"And it´s very likely I´m gonna be the father."
"W-wh…"
He was just as speechless as I had been earlier, but I hadn´t expected it to be much different. This really was some messed up shit to happen to someone in highschool.
"…are…are you…serious right now?"
POV Legoshi
"So…how did he take it?" I asked her, after I had closed the door of the glass-house behind me and joined them by the table they were working at.
They had arranged a whole lot of big flower-pots full of dirt in the middle of the room, apparently preparing them for the upcoming summer already.
Juno put her trowel to the side for a moment and then shrugged her shoulders a little when she looked at me.
"Hard to tell" she sighed, looking at Haru who was working on the opposite side of the table, "…he didn´t really react at all."
"He left without another word" Haru affirmed, not looking too sure about it either, "…but at least he wasn´t getting aggressive."
"He probably couldn´t process it all just yet" Anita mentioned, arriving us with the two little watering-cans she carried, "...I mean…this is a pretty life-changing piece of information after all."
That wasn´t all too surprising to hear. Kai had changed a lot in his behaviour, and if anything he´d just gotten more mature and compassionate about everything going on around him. He probably was just shocked when she told him about it, and that was not something anyone could blame him for.
"Yeah, I think so too" I agreed with what Anita said, "…give him a little bit of time."
Juno just nodded with a little sigh. The red vixen reached one of the watering-cans over to Haru and they both began to carefully water some of the flower pots.
The girls worked together like a really good team in the meanwhile. When Anita had heard of Juno being pregnant and switching to the gardening club, she short-handedly joined them in the garden as well and supported them whenever she could. Haru suddenly had a lot of competent help here, and together the girls where stronger than ever as it seemed.
I was happy Juno wasn´t alone in times like these, and I was really glad she and Haru were getting along this well after everything that had happened.
"When do you see him again?" Juno wanted to know, not actually being that focussed on her work anymore since I arrived.
"I think in the rehearsals tomorrow" I said with a shrug of my shoulders.
"You think he will be able to hide it?"
I was only able to shrug my shoulders about that, sadly.
"Some of them seem a little suspicious already" I then told her the truth, "Aoba already noticed from how I was treating him in practise."
"What, really?" Anita asked in shock.
"Aoba is not one to spread rumours" I calmed them down, and Juno soon agreed by nodding.
I guess she would have been fine with that as well if I had asked her beforehand.
"But if even you can´t hide it properly…" Haru said lowly, "…I seriously doubt Kai can act over it either."
"We probably can´t hide it forever anyway" I sighed lowly, "…but keeping it from him wouldn´t have been the right thing to do either. He deserves to know about it."
"Yeah…" Juno agreed with a little sigh, "If there is anyone we have to tell about it, it´s him."
POV Kai
"Nobody knows about it yet."
I wasn´t quite so confident in those words. Not after remembering the scandal back then when that picture of Legoshi´s back got leaked. If Juno was taking equally good care of this information as she did with that photo, I could just as well tell my entire dorm about it right now.
Bill got fucked really hard by the following rumours that spread everywhere, and this was way bigger than a few scratches on one´s back.
Tyler was still blabbering on about something beside me, but I had a really hard time staying focussed. I was spacing out time and time again, as the thoughts in my head were just so much louder and more present.
"Was that why my mom brought it up again? Did she sense that something was in the air?"
If I really was the father, it had happened even before I went home for the Christmas holidays already.
A simply pity-fuck ended up in a pregnancy.
It was the biggest cliché ever. I would have laughed about a story like that if somebody had told it to me. I would have thought the people something like this happened to are the biggest idiots imaginable, and now it turned out that I was exactly that idiot.
"Kai!" Tyler suddenly pulled me out of my trance, rattling my shoulders a little. I tried my best to focus my attention on him again.
"…what?"
"You look stressed" he commented with a concerned expression, "…are you sure you´re alright?"
"Huh?" I asked, actually quite aware it was kinda true what he said, "…oh yeah…It´s just…"
"First that gun I found before the Christmas break and now that! Just how fucked up can things get?! I look stressed? Fuck yes I´m fucking stressed, Tyler!"
Just everything was against me right now. I didn´t want to be at this place anymore. I just wanted to be alone and cry at this point. I tried my hardest to not look stressed about it, but there was just no way of denying it. The pressure was just too much at this point.
My roommates would just make stupid comments or ask stupid questions, it was really cold and rainy outside, my muscles and throat felt sore from drama-club practise and there was nowhere else I could go.
But the only one who I really trusted with this was the guy who was walking besides me right now. And maybe Legoshi, as he clearly knew about it already and still tried his best to hide it from everybody.
I was on the verge of crying at this point. I felt so weak and tired and left alone with this problem. I just wanted to lay down and leave way to my tears.
"…I…I…I just don´t know…" I panted lowly, not able to maintain a normal pitch in my voice, "…I just don't know what to do!"
I stopped in my tracks and looked at the ground in shame, tears where running down my cheeks and I felt really embarrassed.
I was going to break down in front of him soon, and there was nothing I could do about it. There was no point in denying it anymore either.
At least I knew I could somewhat trust him with this.
POV Tyler
I really was trying to help him right now, but I couldn´t think of anything useful. When I suggested we could go for something to eat in the cafeteria, he just shook his head and said he wasn't hungry. I had the feeling he really didn´t want to be in our dorm right now either, and I could actually see a pretty good reason for that. They already were loud and obnoxious when there was nothing going, and with a topic as delicate as this, their company would become something you really would not want to be in.
But then I suddenly had a brain-wave. I suggested we could go to the drama-club practice room, as this would be one of the few places where he actually would be warm and alone.
I was right about that as it turned out, and when we arrived there, I already knew about the next thing I had to do.
"You sure you don't want a little snack or something?" I asked him, "I could get you something from the cafeteria…"
Even though he declined that offer of mine again, I now played the card my grandma played all the time, completely ignored his answer and went off to get something anyway.
The reason I did that was not to get food though, I had a different mission.
As soon as I left the drama-club building, I went in search of Legoshi. Apart from what everybody knew about him, I only had two vague leads of where I could find him: Dorm 701 or the gardening club. That´s all the information I was able to gather from earlier talks with Kai.
When I arrived the dorm and knocked at their door, a tall, white furred sheep dog opened the door for me, kindly asking if he could help me, but when I asked him about Legoshi he just shrugged his shoulders, almost swiping the little fennec fox he carried off of them. Then he suggested I could knock at the doors of the gardening club and try my luck there. I thanked them quite kindly and quickly went on my way again.
The guys from my dorm wouldn´t have been that friendly or helpful to an average looking guy they didn´t know. Maybe for a pretty girl, but not for any random male student. I was a little jealous already.
After finally having found the door to the garden, I knocked on it a couple of times.
A few moments later I heard steps coming closer. A purely white furred bunny girl opened the door from the inside.
"Hello" she greeted me in slight surprise. She seemed a little confused for a moment, examining me from top to bottom, but she kept her overall friendly attitude nevertheless, "…how can I help you?"
"Hi!" I greeted lowly, "…sorry to disturb you. I would like to talk to Legoshi, please. Have you seen him lately by any chance, it´s really important!"
She took a look around quickly, then she nodded with a little sigh.
"Stay here for a moment" she told me, already turning around and heading towards the gardening house she seemed to have come from, "…I´ll see what I can do."
POV Kai
At first I thought Tyler was coming back into the drama-club again, checking out on me as I had been laying here for quite a while already, but it wasn´t him.
I lifted my head a little to take a look who those restrained but nevertheless quite a bit more powerful steps belonged to, and my heart immediately began racing again when I noticed who it was.
"L-Legoshi!"
"Your roommate told me I would find you here…" he said lowly, carefully getting into a squatting position next to me.
"W-what Tyler did this? I-I´m sorry, I didn't think he would-"
He immediately interrupted by raising a hand and shaking his head with an understanding little smile.
"I can imagine you´re shocked about it" he said lowly, "…so was I."
"You knew about this all along, didn´t you?" I asked plainly, knowing full well there was no way around it anyway.
He began nodding about it slowly. "I wanted to leave it up to her to tell you about it."
I nodded slowly, trying to get off the floor and at least into an upright sitting position now.
"I…I don't know what to do…" I then told him, looking him right in the eyes for a moment, "…I really don't know."
"Well, there still is a chance it´s gonna be me. We don't have an accurate confirmation of anything yet, and inter-species pregnancies do not occur as often as normal ones."
"What would you do if it´s gonna be you?" I asked him.
"I´d…" he said, hesitating with his answer for a short moment, "…I´d try to be the best dad I can be. I guess."
I had expected something like this from him. I was talking to Legoshi after all. But that also was easier to say for him than it would be for me. Juno still loved him. Juno would want it to be his kid and she would probably hate me forever if it was mine.
"…and if it´s gonna be me?" I asked nevertheless.
He hesitated with this answer as well, but I really couldn´t blame him for that. I probably would ditch Juno and I with this so hard if I was him.
But I wasn't him, and he just proved that once again: "…I´d try to help the both of you as much as I can" he said with a genuine little smile, "I promise, this is not gonna be the end of the world for any of us!"
"It´s gonna be for me" I sighed, "My whole dorm wants to know what´s going on already."
"I guess it wouldn´t be a whole lot different with my dorm to be honest…" he said with a shrug of his shoulders, "…I guess everybody would want to know what´s going on."
"You haven't met the assholes in my dorm yet" I told him dryly, "…apart from Tyler, they´ll all give me hell for it."
"Hmm…" he began thinking, "…is that why you´re here and not with them right now?"
I nodded slowly, already feeling the tears that were about to come up in my eyes again.
Just thinking about this stressed me out so much. This actually was the worst part about it right now. I didn´t want to go back to my dorm today, but there wasn´t really another place I could go to. A hotel would be too expensive for the budget my parents gave me for this school-block and probably too far away as well.
"…you think it would help if I talked to them?" Legoshi now offered, referring to the guys in my dorm with that I assumed.
I immediately shook my head about that suggestion. "No, please don't do that!" I begged him, "That´ll only make it worse!"
I knew he didn´t mean it in a bad way and only tried to help me, but this whole situation really had me on the verge of crying in the meanwhile. There was just no escape.
"I…I don't think…" he said, still looking really concerned, "…I don't think I fully understand."
I looked him right in the eyes once again, a tear got lose from one of my eyes and travelled down my cheeks.
In this very moment I realized that I should probably tell him about it. He was the only one I could trust with this and who might have the nerve to handle sensible information like that.
I´ve been carrying this weight on my shoulders ever since it happened, and today it just got a bit heavier once again. I took another deep breath, then I gave way to my words.
"I´ve found another gun on the stage" I began, immediately making his ears perk up in slight shock, "…b-before the Christmas break already."
"What?!"
I nodded, for some strange reason not even that nervous about his reaction. I wasn´t even stuttering right now, that´s how comfortable I felt telling him about this.
"W-wh…"
"I didn´t tell anyone about it. I just put it in my backpack and took it home with me."
He still looked totally shocked about those news, but he didn´t interrupt me.
"I couldn´t tell you why, I just did it. I was in a really fucked up state of mind, I felt like a real piece of shit after the premiere performance."
"You did a great job when you took over for me" he told me in all honesty, seemingly really shocked I could be thinking otherwise about it, "They couldn´t have finished the performance without you!"
"I was just a greedy bastard who wanted nothing more than being the star in the spotlight!" I told him, getting rather loud in my tone all over sudden, "But it was only on the next day I realized I could never be as great as you or Juno!"
I tried to calm myself down a little.
"…and then I almost tripped over that gun during the second performance. It was laying in the shadows on the left side of the stage, it must have slid there when you were fighting those lions..."
He nodded slowly, still trying to process all that information.
"On the Saturday that followed, the day you were in that clan fight, I went out into the forest near my parent´s house and took a look at it…"
My breath was becoming heavier now, as I was getting towards the part I was most scared of telling him. Now I stuttered again.
"…I…I was…I mean…before I checked if the gun was real…I had those really dark thoughts on my mind…" I said, and now his facial features derailed even a little further.
"Did you…did you try to kill yourself?!" he then almost yelled out, nearly chocking while belting out those words.
"I…I…" I stuttered, shaking my head, "…I considered it for a moment…but then…"
I took a deep breath once again.
"…I fired a shot at the ground. It felt so real…so powerful…"
He still just stared at me with big eyes.
"…and then I realized what I giant coward I really am."
"W-why didn´t you say anything?!" he asked, utterly devastated hearing it, "…you know I would have tried to help you!"
"You were dealing with a freaking clan fight!" I yelled, not able to stop myself from crying anymore, "…you´re the reason we performed in the city theatre two times already! You´re the first Beastars who really changed anything! You´re the reasons I can even talk to smaller Herbivores now without them being scared of me! I was just a little asshole trying-"
In that very moment he already grabbed me, lifted me up a little bit and hugged me tightly. He didn´t give me a choice, he wouldn´t let me get away from it. He was just so much stronger than I.
I´ve never been this close to him before, and under most circumstances this would have been a little weird too, but I just got reminded again how good that could feel as well.
"I´m glad you´re still here, Kai" he said lowly, "I know how hard it is to battle your own mind."
"Wow. Holy shit."
I could tell that he didn´t just say that to be nice. He really was affected by this topic, alone how his body kept shaking a little and by how out of breath he was while speaking.
I still felt like crying as well though. It felt good to finally have confessed this to somebody, but it also reminded me of how bad this actually was. I had considered to kill myself back then.
"P-please don't tell anyone about it" I begged him, "…I buried the gun in the forest, I don't want to kill myself anymore!"
He took an awfully long and concerned look at me now.
"I just need some time on my own. I´ll be fine!" I assured once more, really not wanting him to make an even bigger deal out of this right now, "…please let me deal with this on my own."
I was expecting him to not let me get away from this that easily, but then he actually surprised me a little on that matter. He nodded slowly. It seemed like he understood me.
He released me from his hug after a little while, then he simply took a seat on the floor and made himself comfortable for a moment.
I did the same after a little while, then I took another look at the wolf as he still seemed to be thinking about a possible solution to the problem.
The wolf didn´t mind about the rather gloomy lighting this room was in right now, he wasn´t even bothered to turn on the proper ceiling lights. It appeared that he even preferred the darkness to what this room normally looked like.
It felt so tranquil right now. So peaceful but yet so lonely.
I kinda enjoyed being here alone with him right now, but I also kinda wanted this situation to be over as well. I was glad he didn´t judge me and seemed to understand what I was going through, but that need for being alone still was stronger right now.
"Come on" he then told me all over sudden, getting up from the floor and waving me to follow him, "…come with me, I have an idea."
POV Haru (By Alexi)
I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead. We had been hard at work and the sun was starting to get to me. Even in late winter, I could tell it was getting hotter. Soon spring would be here and all the planting for the season would begin for most of the crops and flowers. I looked at the little hole I was digging with the small trowel. I reached into a little plastic bin and tossed some of its contents into the hole. Potatoes were a rather hearty crop and could be planted very early in the season. I looked up at the patch of dirt dedicated to the potato crop and saw a truly lovely sight. I looked at the two canine girls gleefully digging in the dirt. Juno and Anita were happy on their knees delving into the soil with their hands. They pulled dirt from holes and created little piles beside them. Their tails wagged in sheer delight at the rather dull activity.
I knew canines had a propensity to dig but I had no idea they were made so happy from doing so. I giggled and walked over to the wolf and fox as they dug.
"You guys can't just dig holes, you gotta seed them and bury them again." I said with a little giggle. The girls looked at me with a slight embarrassment.
"Sorry Haru, I guess we got a little carried away." The vixen said to me. Anita joining the garden was quite a surprise. Then again, Juno choosing to leave the drama club to join the garden club was equally surprising. The work seemed so much easier with three members but that meant I had less gardening to preoccupy my time outside of class. I knew that Anita had joined the club to spend more time with Juno and keep an eye on her. Even still, she was a good helper with the club duties. I looked at the wolf and saw her rather sweaty.
The months of pregnancy were becoming a little more apparent. While she could still conceal her tummy, her energy was more easily drained. I grabbed a water bottle for her.
"Drink up Juno." I said. She panted and took the bottle in her hand before pouring it down her throat.
"Thanks Haru." I smiled and tossed some seeds into the little holes the canines dug.
"I think we're getting close to being done for the day." I said as I pulled on my sweat wettened shirt.
"I suppose it's getting hotter than I thought it would be." Anita said as she stood up and brushed her hands of dirt.
I did like the fox but at first I was rather nervous about her joining the club. After all, I sorta was having an affair with her former boyfriend. Something that I wished I wouldn't have condoned. Even though I'm sure that she knew me and Sebastian were on friendly terms with one another, she never treated me poorly for it.
She carried her bag behind a corner of the shed so she could change out of her dirt stained shirt. I looked down at the wolf as she sipped on the water.
"How are you feeling, hon?"
"I'm okay, it's getting a little more difficult to keep my energy, I'm not gonna lie. She wiped her sweat from her head." I smiled and petted her head as she was level with me.
"Well once we get cleaned up. I can go get us a little dinner so you can just relax." She smiled back and wagged her tail.
Juno had been spending most nights with me in the past month. I think she was really anxious about being confronted by her roommates so she only really went there to shower, take naps and get clothes. Our relationship was somewhat unconventional, the most romantic thing we ever did was exchange a kiss or two when we slept in bed. Most often, I made sure she was taken care of and not pushing herself too hard. Occasionally, she called me "nurse" which always made me giggle.
"Are you ready to be done for today?" I asked her. She yawned and closed her eyes.
"Yeah, I have to do some math homework before I get too tired. If I start falling behind in class, then I'm just gonna get more stressed out."
The fox walked back over to us now wearing a sweater.
"Need help getting her up?" She asked.
"Yes." I said, causing Juno to blush bright red.
"I'm not even that fat yet." She whined. The fox and I giggled as we helped her to her feet. The three of us walked back to the shed.
"Well if we're all done for today, Imma head back to the dorms." Anita said. "Same time tomorrow?"
"Yeah, we can finish the potatoes and then maybe move on to the onions." I said.
"Sounds good, bye Juno. I'll tell Jack you said hi." The fox leaned over to the wolf and embraced her in a little hug. I saw their tails shake in joy before the fox departed. I looked up at the wolf.
"Wanna get inside?" I asked.
"Yes please, it feels ten degrees hotter than it is." She said before entering the little shed. She made a direct line for the bathroom." I chuckled and set up my little kettle which already had some water in it.
"What do you want for dinner?" I asked through the door.
Juno let out an embarrassed squeak. "Haru, don't make me have a conversation while I'm trying to pee." She groaned much to my amusement.
"You're in there all the time." I teased.
The toilet flushed and she walked out covering her face. Her tummy gurgled in hunger loudly.
"Ugh!" She whined. "I'm so gross!" I walked over and pet the wolf on her tail.
"No you're not, it's just part of life. My oldest sister was pregnant while I was at home so it's something I'm used to. It's okay." She smiled lightly and pet my ears.
"Maybe pasta." She said as she went to lay down on the little bed. The wolf started to pull out a book and notebook. "Do you have any homework you need to do?" She asked me.
"Nothing I can't whip out right before class tomorrow. Plus I'm a senior and kinda over classes at this point." I said with a smirk. Juno rolled her eyes and got to work. I got us some tea and sat beside her on the bed. "So… how do you feel about telling your mongoose guy?"
Juno's pen skidded over the paper pad and her eyes widened. "Please don't call him that."
"My bad?" I said, with a little grin.
"I hope he doesn't hate me." Juno said. I could see her quivering as she recounted the events. "But… he didn't seem angry but still." She coughed and smiled at me. "I'm really glad you were nearby."
"Oh right, because I'm so intimidating and threatening." I said with heavy sarcasm.
"I mean, Legoshi is scared of you at times." She said with a little smile.
"As he should be." I giggled. She looked back down at her work and scribbled.
"You know you're kinda similar to Legoshi." She said.
"What! I'm not anywhere near as awkward and scary as he is." I snapped back.
"Not like that, I mean… Legoshi is a very good mediator. When he's there, he makes animals feel secure. He has this way of letting you know he'll protect you and he can empathize. When I'm with you, I have a similar feeling."
I nodded, I understood what she meant. Despite being a carnivore, I would take his company any day over most herbivores. Plus her sentiments made me feel good about myself.
"I think he said he has been working with Kai on being more mature and it really shows. I think Kai's also trying really hard to self-improve." She said with a little smile.
"Oh so everything is gonna be okay between you two?" I said.
"Well… I don't think I could put it in such simple terms. He's still trying to process it and I can tell he's really scared. In all honesty, I could tell because I feel the exact same way."
I reached out and touched her hand. It had been a month since she had found out about her pregnancy and she still had some issues dealing with the newfound knowledge.
"You said you visited a clinic over the weekend?" I said. She looked up from her page.
"Yeah… it went well." She said nervously.
"Well what did they say?"
She put her notebook down. "Well, they told me that I was about 2 months into my pregnancy and that everything was fine." She explained to me.
"Okay, we figured that though, anything else?"
"Well they said I would start showing more noticeably as I reach the halfway point." She lifted up her shirt and showed me her tummy. It looked a little more chubby as opposed to the fit physique that she normally had. "As if it wasn't already noticeable." She groaned.
"Aww I like your fluff." I said with a giggle. She murmured and hid her face. "Were they able to give you any more details about species identification?" I asked.
"I think that can be determined once I'm about halfway with an ultrasound." She said, getting redder as we talked.
"How long is a wolf's pregnancy?" I asked as I returned to the kettle.
"A little less than six months… so I'm going to be expecting it in May or June." She said solemnly.
I tried to lighten the mood. "Summer baby."
She smiled lightly and spoke again. "At least the most intense parts of my pregnancy are going to be during the summer break so I won't be in the school's eye. I'm really thankful for that. I'm really afraid of being ridiculed." She said, I returned to the bed with a mug of tea for her.
"I've been bullied for a long time, I'm sorry that that's something that you are worrying about."
"I just don't want other to think I'm a bad wolf, irresponsible and dumb." She started to tear up.
"You're not bad hon, this just happened. But you said it yourself, you're not going to let it define you. You have the will and drive to be a good mother and keep living your life. I see you study hard and remain committed to being helpful to your friends. I really admire you for your perseverance." I said, trying to make her smile.
She grimaced, "I feel like I'm in too deep. I'm fighting to keep my head above the water. I've known for a month and it seems as though I'm still working on just accepting it."
"Have you told your parents yet?" I asked.
She let out a deep exhale. "No, but I'm making plans to do it. I have a train ticket to go home next weekend. I need to tell them in person." She said, quivering.
"Are you scared?"
"Of course, I'm just… they'll be so disappointed in me. I mean it's not like I'm even getting married to the father, I'm not even entirely sure who the father is. I'm such a fuck up." She scrunched up her face and clenched her ears.
I got a little angry at her display. "No Juno, stop it. You can't let yourself fall down again. You have to be stronger than that!" I yelled, taking a grab of her arm. She looked down at me with a look of intimidation.
"Haru?" She said, surprised.
"You can't lose your head. I told you that you were strong enough to pick yourself up and know that you were capable of having a bright future." I said.
She wiped her eyes and reached out and hugged me. "You don't think I ruined my future?" She asked.
"I don't think it will be easy. While you will always be a mother moving forward. You have the drive to not be limited to that. You have the potential to be so much more than that. The kind of woman that will inspire her child as well as society at large."
I felt the weepy wolf press her lips to my ear and deliver a little kiss. I exhaled and sighed. "Honestly if anyone should be in your tough position, it should be me. I live just as risky as you and with far less disregard. The only thing I could ever really amount to would be a mother or something for a large carnivore to eat." I felt the wolf grip my shoulders.
"Don't say that!" She barked at me. "You deserve to be just as happy and experience a full life. Your life isn't less valuable just because you have sex and you´re a small herbivore."
I fell silent. I reached forward and wrapped my arms around the soft belly of the wolf.
"You're going to be a great mother. Your pup is lucky to be born to someone so caring." I said as she gave me another gentle kiss on my ear. "And that´s by far the most important thing of them all."