Beastars – Into the spotlight

Chapter 23 – A reason to stay strong Part.2 (feat. RedLiteAlexi)

POV Kai

This place was just insane. Everything in this flat looked brand new and really fancy. Legoshi had told me the cleaning-lady had been here earlier today as well, so it looked absolutely spotless in every single corner. I´ve never seen anything like this. This must cost a fortune.

"Just take anything you need" he had told me before he left, "I have a spare key in case of emergencies" he had added when he handed one of them over to me.

When I asked if he was sure about that, he just waved it off with a little smirk. He showed me every room quickly, how to adjust the climate control and how to turn on the TV, and then he just left me alone in this paradise.

There were lots of different foods in the fridge and freezer, there was a bathtub almost big enough for me to swim in and the TV was almost as big as the matrass in the beds of my dorm-room.

"Is that all his? Do you get that as standard when you become a Beastar?!"

He knew about the first gun I found and he still didn´t get mad at me. He even made me trust him when he said he wouldn´t tell anybody, although most people would have advised me to search for professional help immediately, and now he even let me borrow this place to rest for the night?

There was a reason this guy had come this far. He was just selfless. He knew what it meant to share with others and he didn´t need all of those luxuries to feel better about himself or to prove anything.

I was just some random friend he knew from the drama club, that´s the only thing we ever had in common, and now he did all that for me.

As if he didn´t have any bigger problems. Problems that just made him shrug his shoulders about a gun-fight. Problems that would have made me surrender a long time ago already. I really had to get my shit together. I couldn´t just take his kindness for granted again. I got myself into this shit on my own, so I had to stand up for myself to get out of it again.

"Who was I to act like I deserve this treatment. Who am I to not take responsibility. Who am I to run away?"

POV Legoshi

"So who is this now?" Boris asked, being just as dry as always about it.

He had immediately gotten out of his car and caught up with me after I left the building again.

"He´s no thread to anybody" I sighed, "Just a friend from school who got told about some really big and scary news today and needs to be alone for a night."

"How big and scary can news for a high school student be after all? He got an hour of detention or something?"

"He might become a father in a couple of months."

That left him silent for a moment, but he still kept on following me as I went back on my way towards the Cherryton premises.

"Why would you care about him if he got a chick pregnant though?"

"Because it could be me as well, Boris" I told him coldly, "We don't know if it´s him or me. And he just got to know about it today."

I knew this would only raise more questions, I should have considered telling him about that beforehand. But luckily I noticed my car that I had left parked by the side of the road just in time. This was just what I needed to get out of this conversation right now.

I wanted to put it back into the underground garage yesterday already, but I had been too lazy then. Now I was glad I didn´t. I thought that was a very good way of getting rid of Boris and his dumb questions, so I quickly unlocked it, got onto the driver´s seat and closed the door behind me before he could ask anything else.

He just kept staring after me when I turned the car around, set the indicator when I arrived at the ramp, turned right and slowly rolled down into the underground garage.

When I left the main entrance door of the house a minute later, Boris didn´t follow me anymore. It seemed like he had noticed that I didn´t really need him around me right now. I couldn´t even see him anymore.

"Shit. Now he knew about the pregnancy as well. Could this get me into trouble with Ten? Would this make me more vulnerable? I guess they would have found out at some point anyway."

This was just getting more and more complicated. It was hard to keep track of what really was important in the meanwhile. Then I shook my head shortly.

"No, Boris is not the most important thing right now."

Tonight would be the first night I wouldn´t spend alone in my flat, crying myself to sleep like I´ve done for the past weeks.

I´ve been trying hard to forget her, but I got reminded of her again every time I laid down onto the bed that was far too big for me on my own. I´ve just been living from one day to the next ever since. Trying to distract myself with the drama-club and with learning.

I hadn´t been quite sure what I´ve even been living for, but now that suddenly had changed a little.

I was glad I could help Kai out with this. I had a reason not to stay in my lonely flat. I had a reason to socialise with my friends a little more, and I had a reason to stay strong again. Like my grandpa always told me, I still had to try and make the best out of it.

POV Jack (by Alexi)

I sat on my bed and looked out of my bunk. Below me, I saw my roommates gathered around the little box television and watching a movie. Collot laid longways across the floor and Voss laid perched over his arm. Durham sat up near his bottom bunk while Miguno rested on the bunk, scratching the coyote's head.

It was an old action thriller from about thirty years ago. The cheesy one liners shouted from the speakers as the movie played on the static laden screen. I was passively watching but I wasn't really that invested in the film, I looked below me at the empty bunk. I was hoping that Legoshi would be joining us soon. Ever since Skye disappeared, he had joined us for a few hours before leaving for his flat a few times a week. I think he was really lonely and missed the basic comfort of others.

The doorknob suddenly shuttered and all our eyes snapped to the door. I expected Legoshi to walk in but it was a slender red fox that entered. My tail started to wag as soon as I saw her.

"Hi guys." Anita said as she entered the room. She placed her bag down and made her way over to the bunk. The other guys waved as she stepped over Collot. She quickly climbed into my bunk and kissed my cheek.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with a smile.

"Haha I didn't wanna miss a night with boys especially when a movie is involved." She said, gleaming brightly.

"Some movie night this is." Voss said with a tinge of sarcasm.

"It'd be a lot better if we could watch it on Legoshi's big ass TV at his flat." Collot followed up.

I snuggled up to my fox, she smelt like soil and sweat but her scent made my tail wag just as hard. "I thought it was him at the door." I said.

"Oh I actually saw him earlier today at the gardening club. By the way, Juno says hello." Anita said as she pulled out her cellphone.

"I hope she's okay." Miguno said.

"You know, she talked to Kai today." She said and all eyes fell upon her.

"Oh god, that must have been awkward." Durham said, as his scalp was scratched.

"Sounds like it was." Anita said. "But she was worried it would go a lot worse than it was."

I smiled and held her hand. I felt a lot of sympathy for those wolves. It was definitely a difficult situation for anyone. It did make me appreciate what I had with my lovely fox. I looked at her and smiled. I guess this whole thing made me question the thought of having my own children in the future. Could I have a family and life with Anita?

The last few months had been plenty tumultuous but she made them easier. She was crazy sexy, made me smile and was a wonderful friend. I leaned in and kissed the vixen on the nose.

She giggled and blushed. "What was that for?" She asked.

I spoke quietly. "I guess the whole thing between Juno and Legoshi has made me appreciate everything I have. And the things I might have in the future." I said. She leaned in and held me so tight.

"Oh speaking of mongooses, remember that other one that came to the room looking for Legoshi?" Collot said. Anita's ears perked up.

"Oh, you too?" She said, "Legoshi was visiting us in the garden when a different mongoose came and called him away."

"Really?" Miguno said as he scratched his best friend's head.

"Hey hey, easy easy!" Durham said as he looked up at the hyena.

"Hmmm, I wonder what it's all about? Hope it's not that big of an issue." I said.

Was it possible that Legoshi was getting involved in some sort of trouble? I really hoped he had gotten past all the fights and drama. I just hoped he could breeze through the last of his school. Hopefully, the potential of being a father would be the only major challenge that the wolf would have to deal with.

"Oh god, is that really the best case scenario? Oh Legoshi, I hope you know what you're doing."

POV Legoshi

I sighed. "What am I doing here? I said as I found my feet slowly ascending the stairs leading up to the garden. The clock in the hallway told me it was nearly eleven o'clock in the meanwhile. It was already getting late and yet I was still walking. I breathed slowly and I could feel my heart beating hard in my chest.

Was I really going to see them? What was my motivation? Was it because I wasn't able to be alone at my flat. Was I such a sad broken animal that I was attempting some form of sad rebound fuck?

I clenched my hand tightly. I missed Skye so much it hurt. I couldn't even fall asleep with my roommates because I would be horrible to sleep in the same room with. I would kick and grasp in my bed, trying to hold her body. I would wake up and just cry for hours.

I could feel the grip of male mode coming over me. The rush of chemicals flooded my brain as my desires slipped to the forefront of my mind. Haru and Juno, their soft bodies. The delicious scents they gave off and the warmth they granted.

"Clank!" I stumbled back and lost my footing. I desperately reached out and grabbed the railing. My heart jumped and I looked behind me at the dark descent of the staircase. I pulled myself to my feet and looked at the metal door ahead of me.

I had been so distracted by my lusty thoughts that I collided with the door. I hit my head on the metal and my vision blurred. I was just as perverted as I was when I was a nobody. I could feel my tears roll down my face. I looked down at my feet. I was probably standing where a dozen other guys who simply wanted to use Haru to get off stood.

Had I fallen so hard that I thought I could just bury my pain in cheap lust. And what about Juno, she was saddled with the challenge of being a teenage mother and that was something that I could be the direct result of. She might not have even been in this situation if I never used her for cheap romance.

If I didn't cheat on her, maybe she wouldn't have slept with Kai or didn't forget about taking birth control. Every way I looked at it, I found that I all came back to my poor decisions. I lowered myself down and sat on the cold hard floor of the top stair.

I heard another clank and a dim flash of light as the door opened up.

"Legoshi?" I heard a quiet familiar voice. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?" Haru said to me. I looked up and thought about constructing an excuse. My mouth opened up slightly but no words came out.

She walked forward and softly hugged me. I felt my hands raise and slowly hold her as well. I exhaled slowly and felt her warm little body.

"Haru…" I said.

"Please Legoshi, tell me why you're crying." She said, leaning her head to my chest.

"I… miss Skye! So bad! I can't sleep peacefully! I wanna be strong for everyone that looks to me for support but beneath that I just want to collapse."

Haru looked up at me. "Did you come here to… try and sleep with me?" I quivered and loosened my hold on her. Somehow, this rabbit could always cut to the core of my being."

"Yes… and I realized I was just like everyone of those guys that used you. That's why I was curled up by the door." I said, ashamed of what I had planned.

"Oh you big dumb wolf." She said, like a mother amused by her child. "I appreciate you and your willingness to admit when you've made a mistake. I don't think of you like I do them. Plus those decisions to have sex aren't one sided. It wouldn't happen if I didn't choose to. And you shouldn't feel like you have to do things you don't choose to either."

I missed the firm resolve of this rabbit. Tiny yet fearless. Confident in her place and not afraid to put others in theirs. While I'm happy I got to know Skye in this life, perhaps if things could have been different. Was it possible that we could have lived a long innocent life free from the harsh realities of the world?

"Legoshi?" She said to me, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Do you wanna come inside?"

My heart jumped again. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I don't see why it doesn't have to be." She said, smirking.

I blushed. "If it's not too much of a burden on you and Juno. Speaking of which, would she be okay with me coming in? I know things have been better since she confided in me but this might be a bit much, don't you think?"

"Just be gentle with her, she really likes the way you make her feel secure. She tells me a lot. I was actually on my way to a convenient store to get a sweet." The rabbit said. She was so not afraid of the world. Despite everything, she was still ready to take it on.

"Well I could order something from the city restaurants, have it delivered by bird mail. Believe me, I can afford it no problem." I said. Haru smiled at me and held my hand.

"Sounds like a plan." She said, I put my hand in my pocket to get my phone but felt nothing.

"Oh damn, I think my phone fell out in my car." I said sadly.

"Hmm, well you can borrow my phone or use Juno's." Haru said as she pulled me along. My feet were carried over the cold pathway, the glow of the little shed growing brighter with each step. Haru opened the door and pulled me inside. I felt a jolt of awkwardness as I looked inside. Juno was lying on her side on the bed. She wore a white shirt that was bunched up under her breast. Her slightly expanded belly was on display. She wore some short pink panties that accentuated her lovely hips. She looked up from a book she was reading and blushed dark red.

"Legoshi!" She yelled in pleasant surprise.

"Agh! I'm sorry Juno!" I said, covering my eyes despite seeing much more of her body in the past. I didn't want to upset her in her vulnerable state. I looked down and noticed that Haru wasn't wearing much more than her. A little white tank top and some track shorts that showed off her lower bum and fluffy tail.

"My bad, I should have knocked." Haru said.

"I'll leave if you want." I said defensively.

"No! You don't have to do that. I was just startled." The wolf said as she got up to her feet. I looked at her belly. I guess I never took the time to accept her pregnancy and the implications for myself. She smiled a little smile. She really was one of the most beautiful wolves I had ever met.

"Legoshi, wanted to visit." Haru said.

"My flat is a little unavailable tonight."

"But he told me he'd order you some desert, whatever you want from wherever."

I saw Juno's eyes gleaming and her tail wagging. "Well in that case, could you get me a lemon meringue pie?" The she wolf asked.

"Like a slice? I asked.

Juno started to giggle. "Hehe no…"

We all chuckled. The dwarf rabbit started to sniff the air. "Yeesh Lego, you stink." Haru said.

"Haha, that's what the smell is." Juno laughed.

My ears fell. "I guess I didn't have much of a chance to shower after drama club."

"Well, if you wanna stick around. Lose the sweaty ass shirt hon." Haru said as she tugged on my shirt.

"Haha, take it off wolf!" Juno shouted with laughter. I blushed hard and pulled my sweat ladder shirt over my head.

The girls let out little cheers and woos as I took it off. I blushed hard and stood before the wolf and rabbit partially naked. I heard a noise at the door of the shed and turned around rapidly. The door parted slightly and I met the haggard face of my wolf handler.

Fluffy leaned his head in and looked at the room.

"Hey kid, you left your phone in the car. Can't be losing contact with you."

He probably saw that I was standing with my shirt off in the presence of two scantily clad girls. Juno let out a shriek as she used the book she was reading to cover her panties. The rabbit ducked behind me while I stood still as a statue.

Boris gritted his teeth, squinted his eyes and looked away rather annoyed. I guess that's how he dealt with embarrassment.

"Ugh, shit! Here kid take your damn phone so I can get out of your hair!" He shouted. I reached out my hand and took the cellphone. Boris ducked his head out of the door. I could hear him loudly muttering as he stomped away from the shed.

"Dumb kid's in enough trouble because he can't keep it in his pants."

The girls must have heard him as well because none of us wanted our eye contact to meet.

"I guess I'll just order the pies then…"

The rest of the night was simple and pleasant after that. The desserts were delivered by aerial delivery, a large falcon landed right in the garden and provided us with pies from a late night bakery in the city. I tipped him well and presented the girls with the treats. I would later watch in shock as Juno seemingly inhaled the pie. While she seemed to be under so much immense pressure, I couldn't tell at that moment.

She and Haru had such bright personalities. I picked at my own slice but didn't say much over the course of the night. I didn't really have anything worth saying, I just wanted to exist in the background. I hadn't been able to do this in a long time, but for at least right now I could just bask in the glow of the wolf and rabbit.

Juno smiled and held the empty pie tin.

"Urrp!" Resounded through the room as Juno belched loudly.

"Ugh…" Haru sighed while concealing a giggle. "I swear, you're losing more and more manners daily." Haru said.

"Hey I'm eating for two here." Juno said defensively.

Haru climbed onto the bed.

"Scoot over." Haru said as she pushed on Juno's sizable butt.

"Hey, I could crush you, you know." She giggled. The rabbit climbed up onto her side. "I'll take my chances. Come here." Haru said as she got closer to the wolf's muzzle and wiped a remaining speck of whipped cream from her face.

"All clean." Haru said with a smile before giving Juno a small peck on the cheek. They smiled at one another before their gaze fell upon me.

"Oh, sorry Legoshi." Juno giggled. "Kinda forgot you were there. We get dumb and flirty sometimes."

I blushed and tried to keep a cool face. "Haha, it's fine. Don't mind me."

"How are you feeling Lego?" Haru asked, scratching the other wolf´s back.

"A bit better, I may not look like it but I'm having a great time. It's nice to just coast for a bit." I said, giving a little smile.

"So why did you come to the garden at night?" Juno asked.

"Well I let Kai borrow the flat for the night. I wanted to give him space." I said. I looked at Haru to see if she'd call me out for giving the half-truth but she said nothing.

"Oh…okay, is he okay?" Juno asked.

"Seems like he's in shock, it's a lot to take in."

"I wish his reaction was more like yours, you just snapped into action. It really made me feel more assured and safe." She said with a smile.

"Well I'm more used to being the one that has to have the solutions to everything. Sometimes I don't have time to process things for myself. I feel like I can only react for the sake of others…" I looked at the rabbit and wolf as they said nothing. Just listening and keeping their thoughts to themselves. It felt nice to have this moment.

"To be completely honest, I don't think I've quite grasped the reality of you being pregnant. I've been trying to help Kai come to terms with it when the truth is it could be mine as well." I saw Juno and Haru scoot over the bed to make room for me. I slowly walked over and took a seat on the free spot. It creaked slightly but the bed frame held.

"Are you okay?" Haru asked.

"It doesn't matter if I am or not. That doesn't change anything." I said.

"Hey, that's not true at all!" Juno snapped. We both looked at her. "Every parent that runs out on their kid and every parent that doesn't, accepts the reality of their situation, what matters is how you react and if you're okay with it. I think how you feel actually matters a lot."

I took a deep breath. "I'm okay with being a parent. Up until recently, I assumed I was on the path of seclusion and meaninglessness. I think I could find meaning in having a child. Maybe I could give them all the things I didn't have. I never knew my father and my family is beyond broken. Everyone is dead and gone except for my grandfather. I think the thing that worries me the most is the possibility of bringing a child into pain. The hardships that we all had to go through."

"That's part of life though." Haru said, holding my hand.

"Isn't that all the more reason to be happy about having a child? Through all the pain, we make ourselves stronger and we pass that knowledge on."

"Hmm… I think you'll make a good mother." I said. Juno gleamed and held my hand as well.

"I think you'd be a good dad." She replied.

"I do too." Haru said. "Strong and sweet."

I felt a tear fall from my face. "I… do too. That's something that makes me sad."

"What do you mean?" Juno said.

"If I'm a good parent, I feel like I'll see all the things I was denied growing up." I said.

"Isn't that good?" Haru asked.

I took a deep breath. "I love my mother, no matter what, I can't hate her." I clenched my free hand tightly. "If I'm a good parent, I'm afraid I'll be forced to recognize all her failings. And that the memories I have of her are fake and I've repressed the worst things."

"Did she hurt…you?" Haru asked.

"It's not quite that simple, she was a very sick woman. I just wish things could have been different." I said, lowering my head. Juno took my hand and placed it on her exposed belly.

"You can't make your past different, but you can make your future different." She said as my fingers caressed the soft fluffy fur and skin of her slightly enlarged belly.

"Does it move yet?" I asked.

"Not yet, but doctors say it should start kicking and they should be able to be scanned in about a month." Juno said. I continued to rub her soft belly. It was warm to the touch and felt softer than a pillow. My hand lowered slowly and I felt her waist.

"Haaaa! That's not the pup that's just me!" Juno shrieked. Haru burst out laughing and I smiled lightly.

I looked back at my phone and saw it was nearing 2AM. I groaned quietly, should I leave? I probably should go to bed, lest I end up falling asleep in class or club.

"Um… should I go? It's getting late, er later than usual." I asked.

Juno yawned, "I suppose I should put this baby to bed." I stood up slowly and I felt resistance as I did so.

"Uh Legoshi, you don't have to leave." Haru smiled. I looked up at Juno and she blushed. Haru noticed this and turned to her as well. "I'm sorry, I should have asked you first."

"It's your shed." She said.

"No, as long as you're staying here, you have a say." The rabbit responded. Juno looked like she was thinking. In the month since she told me that she was pregnant, we had been a lot cooler with one another. Even still, sleeping and cuddling together might be too much to remain comfortable.

"It's okay Juno, I'll leave you guys alone for the night, I just wanna make you comfortable." I flashed a small smile and stood up.

"Wait Legoshi!" Juno sprung up and took my hand. I looked back at her.

"You make me feel safe… that's as comfortable as I can be." She smiled and wagged her tail.

"Please come to bed with us." Haru smiled.

My own tail wagged and leaned down. Enveloping them into a large hug. I stood up and turned off the light. In the dim light from the moon window I found my way back to the bed.

"So how do you want to arrange this?" I said. Juno and Haru pulled me onto the bed. I laughed as I was pulled down onto my back. I had forgotten that I wasn't wearing a shirt. I gulped as the girls got on both of my sides.

Juno nuzzled up close to me and one of her arms caressed my chest. I felt a shiver go up my spine. She smelt like I had remembered when we were dating. Except there was a new angle to the scent. I figured her pregnant state had changed her smell slightly. A strong natural scent that was almost representative of blood. My arm wrapped around her and cradled her from the side of the bed. She placed her muzzle beneath my own and she breathed slowly.

A part of me understood why I couldn't be in love with Juno. While our relationship couldn't be as simple as it once was. I was happy we could find peace between us. As I held her, I was reminded of one of the simple pleasures from our time together. Long enjoyable nights where we could hold each other. Sharing a warm embrace and revelling in the softness of our fur.

"Kinda like old times." Juno said with a tired giggle. I awkwardly smiled.

"Certainly feels that way." I replied. I felt Haru climb over us and nest herself between my other side and the wall.

"I never imagined that my bed would become a sanctuary for sad wolves." She giggled. I smiled and scooped her up inside the nook of my arm. I pulled the small rabbit close to me and I felt even warmer. She also rubbed her arm against my chest and her fingers met Juno's."

Haru still could make my heart skip beats. Even though our paths met at only the strangest moments, she had a way of completely captivating me in those times.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm a lot less sad than I was." I said. My eyes closed and my breathing slowed. I wasn't a huge fan of sleeping on my back but I had a feeling that I would be fine tonight. I just prayed for no nightmares or shakes. I felt so soft and warm beside the girls.

My loneliness would never completely subside. Even though I could genuinely smile, I wanted to cry for Skye. The hole she left in me was still there and it wasn't going away. That being said, I was happy at that moment.

"Goodnight Legoshi! Goodnight Haru!" Juno said as she snuggled up even closer to me. The wolf kissed my chin and gave the rabbit's hand a little squeeze.

"Goodnight Juno and goodnight Haru." I said. Haru sighed and buried her face into my side.

"Go to sleep, dogs!"

Alexi and I had a lot of work putting this together, so we´d be very happy about some feedback ;)

Tell us what you think!

Have a good time, see you later!

~furrwolf & RedLiteAlexi