Final Chapter - Faith for This Tragic Goddess!
Part 1
"No. No! Not the…"
Finally, this maniac has been humbled.
"GG, I used the relic to destroy the relic. Problems, Makey? Don't answer that, you're blocked."
"H-how could...that's impossible!?"
Jeez, can this guy screech or what?
"That was a holy relic! The actualization of a power granted by the gods themselves….H-how...how...", Makemake said curling up in despair on the ground as the remnants of the destroyer armor faded into puffs of blue mana around us.
"...Ahh poor little baby can't play without his toy?"
"S-shut up! You don't understand, you can't understand! You've just ruined everything! I had it all setup! I'd capture her and surprise her with a nice dinner and some wine and maybe I'd finally get to lose...I mean my revenge would be complete!"
T...this guy.
He burned a country to the ground and committed endless crimes…
...Just to get a date!?
"...Revi, I always thought you were the most hopeless man on earth. Clearly I was wrong. This twerp hasn't gotten laid in four centuries and turned into an ultra death wizard, or some crap like that…"
"Indeed, I'm not so bad off after all! Don't worry, I plan on succeeding where this guy has so awesomely failed before long."
...
With whom exactly I wonder?
"As a devil in training, l see the positive of every scenario; there is always something good to be learned. From you, Makemake-sensei, I learned to appreciate every man I've met prior to meeting you for you are rock bottom. Thank you, for being such a prime example."
Wow, I didn't know this girl could bow so solemnly.
"There are so many alternatives to achieving sex yet you chose to…destroy a nation? Why? Us succubi have existed since the beginning for this very reason. You do realize she's a holy being, right?"
…I think he treats himself as an equal!
There's happy pretense, but he's straight up delusional.
"Well then, loli-goddess! What do?"
I suppose she has the most right to say...
"Ehhh, I suppose I have to take responsibility for him seeing as I did create him. Paradoxically, by becoming the example, he has found the proof that I do make big mistakes. Now that he's powerless, you can do whatever you wish, then leave the rest to me."
This lonely virgin is straight seething at your words, Regina-sama.
"P-powerless… I'm a god wizard! I don't need some weird accessory to be powerful! Watch, using only my bare hands, I can still make you scream in terror!"
Eh?!
We hastily braced for some kind of final vengeance attack-!
"[STEAL]uuuu~!"
Buuuuuuut
"…Wah-?"
…
That settles it-
-I'm going to kill him.
"The Devil finds this oddly nostalgic…"
"Oh dear lord! He used a super spell on you! Quick, turn around so I can tell if you're alright!"
Oh? Was that time in the cave not enough for you!?
"Ahh, Regina-sama has impeccable attention to detail...the carpet match the drapes!"
"Hmm… I thought I made it not grow at all… I guess her hormones were stronger than I expected."
Amid this rude and NC-17 conversation, Baddie Boi is trembling...
...While holding a certain triangular piece of fabric.
Despite the large negative space, I'm strictly wearing a splittable one-piece with a decorative skirt.
The keyword being decorative-as in, it doesn't cover much at all without the bottom.
…Not that anything is really covered after this hellish battle.
"D… Did Regina-sama really create this… !"
...Is...is this grown man actually crying?
"It looks… Exactly as the legends describe… The sacred symbol! Sniff… Mmm, through the dirty mortal sweat, I can even smell a faint hint of… her scent!"
Too close, your face is too close!
Ugh…
Is he that obsessed with Regina?
I can strangely sympathise with him a bit.
Chasing someone you love for all your life just to die a virgin sucks, and this applies for both of us.
…
Maybe I should… ?
This isn't my true body, after all.
"...You like what you see, huh? Maybe a little mercy isn't ...out of the question?"
…
"If… If I cannot woo the sun, I'll have to settle for a sunflower…!"
Oi, quit with the sparking puppy eyes! You look pathetic enough already!
…
Ugh… am I really gonna do this?!
I took his hand and dragged him to his feet.
"...Let's go somewhere a little more hidden away… Don't take this personally, okay? I'm only doing you a one off favour…"
"T-thank you, thank you! I'm forever grateful!"
What's with that look, Prince?
I thought you'd be into NTR?
I thought you changed your mind about me long ago?
I can't help but notice everyone is stringing along, but when we reached the restrooms again-
"Wait outside, everybody. Let them have their moment….This is the last thing I can do for failing you, Makemake."
Regina stood in the entranceway, keeping the others from looking in.
"Aren't you going to chastise me for abusing your creation, Regina-sama?"
"Like I said, do what you wish. Since you won the fight, you get to choose your prize. I specialize in control, but this time I'm giving you full freedom."
She smiled as if watching a child grow mature.
I see.
I guess Makemake wasn't stretching the truth about her before.
"Ehh, but the Devil wants to watch!"
"No buts, it's too soon for you, come over here with nee-chan and play a game while I cover your ears..."
Says the succubus.
"...Oi, the Devil is not a little girl, I've seen it plenty of times before at home! Nee-chan and nii-chan do it all over the mansion, and I always... "
I chose to ignore any more image breaking lines from the peanut gallery.
…
Just look at this pervert radiating with anticipation.
Yeah, I know I'm pretty hot. Hundreds of years of artificial gene selection doesn't lie.
And that body is nearly on full display thanks to the battle damage that he caused.
I swept my hair aside sensually with my hand…
Just saying; if I get stuck in this body forever, I might as well become a succubus. I'll never be out of business.
"Alright, let the fun begin~"
"The more I think about it, the more amazing this opportunity seems! You're like a gift from Regina designed specifically for me. Maybe she finally recognizes me and my endless potential! Maybe I was meant to lose… Because I've in fact won?"
…
What is this mental gymnastic!?
"Oh! Yeah! Uh, of course… so, just sit on this toilet, I'll get myself ready in just a moment."
I said as I pushed him down, wearing the sweetest smile I could.
After all…
"Wow, you're going on top? Very domineering… just like her… in case you're wondering how I know this, it's because I caught her, together with some devils, doing-"
… It'll be the last thing he sees!
Clang!
I smashed his head against the porcelain.
As expected of an ancient man, he instantly went quiet.
…
As uncomfortable as this is, I'm only putting him out of his misery.
He was clearly mentally ill as a result of Regina's experimentation and in no shape to integrate into society.
If I didn't do it, Regina certainly would have tortured him eternally for his crimes, being the goddess of vengeance.
I've never killed another humans before…
Maybe this guy doesn't count?
"Ooh, the Devil hears interesting things, lemme see, lemme see!"
…I guess step one would be to hide the body.
"W...wow...Iris… I had no idea you were so wild...gulp. Hey Regina, can I please get a better view? All I can see is Iris… straddling him in the stall?"
"Surprisingly, I don't sense any lust…well...maybe a little, but mostly rage?"
"... And that's how it ends. Down the toilet. What a massive favor indeed."
…
A few minutes later.
"Regina-sama, I can't help but notice him saying something about you doing things with…devils?"
"I was so powerful that I kept devils as slaves. It was common practice."
"Ehhh!? I feel threatened…!"
"I'm joking. I will explain it all later."
"So, Iris, you plan on fixing that… attire… or are you leaving it as is?"
When we're done, I'm killing you next.
Part 2
We made our way back out of the facility, this time with Regina-sama and her followers in tow.
Clathra and Marion kindly lent me some pieces of clothing so I didn't look like a succubus.
-and I'm showing them thanks by carrying them.
Seriously, we were the ones who fought the battle, so why are these four the ones being piggybacked?!
"I'm really sorry, but I pumped all my mana into you… as did all my followers. Uroburos is practically defenseless at the moment, not that there's much to defend against."
So teleporting back is out of the question, it seems.
We left her entourage at the inn to recover and set out on foot for Regina's village.
…With the goddess on my back.
"How did I end up piggybacking you across the plains anyway?"
She's so small.
Very different from the silhouette I briefly saw during battle.
"Because, once again, we poured our powers into you. Your party members and I are suffering from both mana and physical exhaustion. Despite being also my creation, the prince of Elroad failed to lift me. I'm just a little disappointed."
Not my fault you got an overblown impression of him in that fight.
"T..the devil is sorry not to be of more help...Uuuu...I can barely keep up uuuuuuu….."
"H..here, let me take a little more of that weight for you...ahh...my legs are wobbling, nee-chan is sorry, Kome-tan!"
Poor thing.
She really went all out after I got killed.
Rorisa is clearly bushed as well, meanwhile.
"Why do I have to carry alllllll the bags?"
"Because I'm on goddess duty and Komekko and Rorisa are exhausted. Less bitching, more moving...Ey!"
"Heeeey! No kicking! Gaah...I almost tripped…"
"Consider it part of your training."
"...I want a refund on said training."
I take my empathy back.
"So, Mind telling me the story about that whole ordeal? Norse, all that stuff?"
"It's a long story…"
"We know." *4
Right.
This is gonna be a long day.
"Well, it all went like this..."
"..."
So, as she explains it…
Norse was like, a really, really big deal.
With loads and loads of really cool sounding stuff!
...
Actually, some of it sounds like Kazuma-sans stories?
"Indeed, using a combination of innate magic of this world and divine enhancements, we'd pushed the kingdom to heights unimagined even in this day and age. Oh, and a little inspiration from other realms, but never you mind that."
She sounds genuinely proud of their achievements...wait.
"Just how involved were you in all that?"
I could feel her blink.
"Well, all of it! Norse was my kingdom! Ah, I don't mean as my residence, I actually founded it. Instead of letting a settlement generate a goddess through its own concentrated faith, I, a goddess borne of a pillaged and vengeful community, built a nation from the ground up."
A goddess founding a kingdom and a dynasty?
Isn't that cheating, even by hero standards!?
"It really was unfair, and we gathered a bad reputation along the way…"
"...Frankly, inviting us devils in probably wasn't the finest choice, Regina-sama."
Rorisa chimed in.
"The Devil finds this interesting, very demonic, much hype. Devils! Epic toys! Goddesses...Oh my! When's luuuuuunch?"
I-It's not even midway to lunchtime, girl.
I tossed her some snacks I had handy.
"Hey, are any of those 'toys' still available for commercial release? Particularly the doll servant units."
"... Sorry, the man in charge of those died in his mobile destroyer fortress, I'm sure you've heard of it."
Ugh, don't look so disappointed! He literally blew up a nation!
Anyhow, so as I was saying-
Norse was a little too successful, and became the envy of the world.
It became the target of the Demon King, as well as neighboring human kingdoms.
The biggest nail gets hammered.
"...But our strength wasn't such that anyone could openly assail us. I got… a little too comfortable with my place amongst the humans, and started doing more daring things. As it turned out, I crossed the line one time too many. Scandals spread like wildfire, and the public's faith in me was shaken. As our ultimate projects came to completion, my power started to falter… Makemake simply took advantage of the situation."
A tragic tale.
A fall from grace!
"Indeed, prototype 1 wasn't lying, I was totally engrossed in my own affair while it was all going on."
F-forbidden love!?
"My success got to my head and I started veering off track. Running the strongest nation was no longer my priority-beyond that, I wanted to conquer both heaven and hell. I started mingling with…The unholy. Aesir-dono was my first."
…Isn't he one of the ArchDukes of Hell!?
"Aesir-kun was powerful, and that's why I loved him. My instinct to control and manipulate was most satisfied by a strong subject-and Makemake knew it. He was eventually booted from the labs for not living up to the expectations of a god-wizard, so he went all out spying for blackmail."
Oh yes, even I can tell he fell short by far.
Obsessed doesnt start to cover that guy…
"I really don't know what went wrong. Makemake was hard working and cooperative up until that point. For some reason, he had his eyes dead set on flirting with me and me only. He would burn everything to the ground if he had to, and he did. What made it so much worse, was out of all his lackluster skills, charisma was a strong point. My own people called me a corrupt goddess who was blinded by lust and infested with evil. Eventually, they rebelled and replaced me with an incompetent human-led government-one that would go on to construct the destroyer fortress. I watched powerless as everything I had built burned and burned."
Uwwaa, that thousand yard stare.
I guess it's not just Aqua-san who can get traumatized.
"But if one thing I did paid off, it would be finishing the development of god-wizards-now known as crimson demons, I suppose."
She turned to stare at Komekko affectionately.
"You're my only legacy. You're the ones who guarded me and kept my name secret for hundreds of years until I was released. Send your sister Megumin my gratitude."
Sh-she's tearing up!
"Uuuuu… yes! I… I will! We were all mad that… we lost one of our major attractions… but… it must have been fate! Regina-sama, we will never disappoint you!"
"So… you created a race of chuuni wizards that have questionable mental stability. That's… great."
Don't be so edgy, Revi.
This is a wholesome moment and it shall remain that way.
Slowly but surely, we progressed down the long path.
At least the weather cooperated, with a gentle sunny sky.
…
Even though they're off the beaten track, the Crimson Demons really do a good job of maintaining the land routes, don't they?
"The devil's people have a core of highly specialized arch wizards specially, specially trained in civil engineering works. They get work requests from all over the world!" She said, puffing her chest out.
It's like she predicted what I was thinking.
…Yeah, I know. Good for you.
"Hey, did they also build that roadblock up ahead?"
As we rounded the bend around a small hill…
"That's funny, I don't remember this part of your village. Did you guys secure a new wave of investment? That's a lot of new real estate. Have you considered expanding it or offering franchise opportunities? Oi...oiiiiiiiii, Regina-sama?"
But the little goddess had turned pale.
"Oh no, no no no no NO!"
Eh?
There's a whole camp-
-And around the outer walls of the village…
Was the entire Belzerg army, banners waving in the wind.
Part 3
We quickly got off the road and into cover.
I set the miniature goddess down onto a log.
She's trembling like a leaf…
We can't jump to conclusions, we need more information!
"Rorisa, can you go over there and use your charm ability to figure out exactly what's going on?"
She mulled it over.
"...My mana is still pretty weak, but I think I can manage somehow."
Somehow?
"The devil wishes to go as well! Men always do what I ask, ehe."
"Ah, I appreciate that, Kome-tan, but nee-san is going to use secret devil arts you are not yet ready for, so stay put for now ok?" She said with a stunningly gentle smile.
"Well then, perhaps you want me to give you some cover with my crossbow? I don't wanna hurt any humans...b-but I can't let an important comrade go into harm's way alone!"
Oi, what's with the sudden chivalry?
"D...don't give me that look, even I can learn the value of party members."
Suuure, princey.
"Well then, I'll be back in a jiffy, please just watch from afar.!"
It's cute how you're pulling up your bra like you got much to hold up, Rorisa-chan.
…
Is she really just walking up to those guards!?
"Is she chatting them up? Inquiring devils want to know!"
"Ahh, such a powerful negotiating method! See how she lets them see down her top and they are blushing like mad?"
"...I can see my divine example has been carried on. See her hand motions?"
I think these guards think they are about to get lucky!
Oh?
"...She just totally kicked them."
"Oho, her special technique again! The devil should learn this sure kill move, just look how they writhe on the ground as she runs this way!"
Right, Secret devil arts.
"Hah, hah , hah… um… One moment…..sorry…..gack!"
Less breathing, more intel dumping!
"S...so...hah...The Belzerg Army...is here...because...Apparently their princess and the prince Elroad are being forcefully held here against their will."
….Say what?
"Oh, and Kazuma-san's party is being held as suspects back in Axel."
WHAT!?
Part 4
You know, as a prince, I've been privy to lots of interesting scenes.
This is one of them.
"Wha wha wha what do you mean Onii-sama and Big Boss and Lalatina and aaaaahahahhhhhh!?"
I never dreamed I'd see big shot Iris panicking like this.
"C….could the devil be a wanted criminal too then? Ahh, so cool. Wait, the babies, who's looking after the twins? If Nii-san and Nee-san and probably Aqua-nee for good measure…..ooooh no…"
What's with the shudder, Komekko?
"...If Darkness-nee is left alone with the babies, they might die-!"
And now we have two girls panicking, holding their heads and making a scene.
So, spot check.
We got one panicking princess.
A panicking wanna be devil.
An exhausted actual devil.
And an underage goddess in danger of going into shock.
…
When and how did I end up being the reliable one!?
"So, ok, How bout this? Let's just march over there and inform the commanders that we are just fine thank you very much and oh of you don't mind please don't murder our friends?"
I mean that seems rational, right?
"But that's not possible! My true body is rekt and there's no way the army will believe I'm me in this booody!"
"Well..I'm here, right?"
W...what's with that look?
"...You're a nobody in Belzerg, they'll just kill you!"
Wow, you didn't have to insult me personally like that!
I mean, she's probably not wrong. Elroad doesn't have the best PR.
"Doesn't that work in my favor, actually? I mean even in this form, there's no one able to call bullshit on it! Hey, hey this might work afterall!"
But Iris just sighed, and said,
"...If I talk to the commander here, i-if can convince them personally of my identity than maybe, just maybe I can prevent a massacre? But..."
She said, looking at the armed camp, the ring of entrenchments and siege engines.
"H-how the hell do I sneak past my entire army? I'm not Kazuma! I don't have thief skills!"
…
Haaah?
Iris-san, your face…
Are you admitting defeat for once?
You don't know until you try!
Aren't you the one who taught me that?!
You and your 'onii-sama', showing up time and again, never taking no for an answer…
…
"If…"
Hmm?
"...If it had been with Big Boss before…"
Just spit it out!
"...She'd have cast explosion as a distraction, while I snuck out of the castle."
Oho!
Now ain't that just precious~
I have to admit, seeing you so desperate and teary eyed is actually pretty appealing.
I'm no sadist, but this small revenge seems fitting after the 'training' hell you put me through this whole way.
But…
It leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.
Once, long ago, when they told me I was being betrothed to some princess I didn't know, they showed me magic photos of an adorable little blonde girl, dressed in white and blue, playing with a retainer I would eventually meet. They could have easily passed as sisters, maybe even mother and child. In one of the photos, this scared, shy, timid little girl was in tears as the retainer had to eventually leave and return to her father's estate.
She was, undeniably, c...cute.
After our first meeting, a few years after that, I had written off that first impression as a mistake.
Yet somehow, that same girl-
-Was now in front of me.
"W...what's so funny? Hey, This is serious, Revi? Why are you grinning like an idiot now of all times?"
"Bwa..hahaha...HAHAAHAHA!"
Because, my dear princess-
There is more than one way to 'go explode'!
A little while later…
I am striding right up to the central ramparts constructed before the main gate of Ouroboros. I took no weapons or armor… so the soldiers paid me no heed.
Hey…
Do I really rate that low on the threat index?!
Ahh, maybe this guy standing on the lookout…
"Excuse me, sir, is this the forward watch point?"
Finally taking notice of me, he drolly looked askew at me, dismissing me on the spot.
"Yeah, what, you want an autograph or something, kid?"
Look, I'm not the strongest guy in the world… but KID!? You are kidding ME!
"Ahh, I see, and that is the magic item that amplifies voices so the commanders can address the troops?"
"Yeah, it's not a toy, so go play somewhere else...Hey..wait a minute… kid… could you be…?"
Does this guy…!?
Oh! Yes, come on! Say my name!
"... You aren't crossdressing, right? As in, a reverse trap? I know some knights are into your kind, but I'm not! Go polish some other knight's lance like a good little squire!"
…
….
"R...really? Gosh… the other knights said you'd really appreciate the services of a skilled squire and sent me over here after paying me big time… are you sure you want to skip over this opportunity?" I said, batting my eyes and speaking in the highest pitch I could manage.
"Again!?...Those asshats… I told them all that one time was a misunderstanding! I was drunk, ok!? I'm gonna make them pay for this defamation! Arrrrgh!"
He charged off, fuming.
Thank you Komekko, your mannerisms have saved me big time!
I picked up the now unattended magic loudspeaker and…
""Hello- monkeys!""
So this is the sound of thousands of armored soldiers turning at once.
""Greetings, you Belzerg muscle heads! This is the Crown Prince of Elroad speaking!""
Part 5
What the hell is that idiot doing.
Does he actually think this will make a difference?
""I know what you're all thinking: why the hell would I believe some girl in boys' clothing!?""
At least he admits it…
He is drawing their attention, though.
Just like… Big Boss.
Maybe… he wants me to go somewhere…
""Before you forcibly remove me, have a look at this: Ta-da! That's right, the authentic 99.995% gold Elroad royal family crest! Only one of a kind in this world, so you better believe your eyes.""
This is starting to sound like a massive auction.
Either that, or a public execution.
Anyway, I need to find… Claire-san.
She must be the one who launched this assault.
""Why am I important, you ask? Take a look at that adamantite armor on your smelly bodies; yup, 100% funded by Elroadish gold! If anything happens to me, you can kiss goodbye to it now and then prepare for unemployment. After that, death, because the Demon King waits for no one.""
"Rorisa-chan, I know you're tired, but… could you fly around and look for a royal-looking lady with short, golden hair?"
"Umm… There are a lot of royal-looking ladies with short golden hair… Could you be a little more specific?"
Damn, only a thirsty pervert would be able to spot her out of all this…
""Let me guess: you're all here because Miss Belzerg went missing, right? Well well, I have a bombshell announcement to make! Your princess, Iris Stylish Sword Belzerg, is now my wife! We've been on a honeymoon this whole damn time!""
…
I take it all back, you have balls, Revi, you do.
Unfortunately, you won't have them anymore after all this ends.
But I don't have time to think about your balls at the moment…
I need to find-
"Oh, oh! I think I see her!"
Rorisa came to me all excited.
"Look, there! That woman yelling and shaking her fist! Now she's stomping! I think she's going to charge him down soon…"
Yup, that's gotta be her.
But how do I get there…
"I know what you're thinking. [Shadowthread] works both ways. Sling yourself through."
!?
Ah, this little goddess is full of pleasant surprises.
[Shadowthread] is usually used to tie up and pull the enemy…
So, if I tie myself up-
"[Shadowthread]-!"
!
Purple strings emerged from the ground and-
"Ahhh, it's so tight! But… it doesn't hurt at all… Hey, I could get used to this…"
Really, don't take this the wrong way.
I'm doing this purely as an act in desperation.
… But I'm saying…
These threads are touching every part of my body…
It almost feels like a tight hug.
I can't move a muscle, but at the same time, I know I can pull myself wherever I want.
"Hmm, this could be a useful skill for our cafe employees. It can potentially enhance the experience of many customers. Mind teaching us, Regina-sama?"
Gah, this is getting too weird.
I need to get moving.
Let's see, I shall start by ziplining towards the back perimeter, where nobody is looking at.
WOOOSH
Ahhhhh! I swear, that almost gave me a concussion!
Maybe I'm just light, but that was vomit-inducingly fast!
""The doll was made with reverse-engineered Demon King technology, by none other than the great Elroadish scientists! It perfectly captured Princess Iris's cute yet secretly possessive and every so slightly sexually frustrated facial expressions, didn't it?""
Ughhh now I'm really gonna vomit.
He's really putting his own life on the line for me, isn't he?
No one has seen me yet.
Here comes the hard part, getting to that command tent before Claire loses it.
And before anyone sees me… in this… indecent state.
Bleh, I doubt they'd even recognize me. Here I go-
WOOOSH
"Get that punk! And stop blocking my way! I want him alive! I want this recorded word-for-word and I will show it to the King! Then I want him hung! For treason!"
…Right, I'm directly behind Claire now.
These purple threads are pretty noticeable; some soldiers are already pointing at me…!
I have an idea.
Right, the damage transfer thing-forgive me!
"[Akashic Transfusion], get in here, Claire!"
I quickly bound up Claire and pulled her into the command tent.
"Claire, it's me, Iris! You know, the one you have a questionable crush on? The princess whose room you peek into at 3 AM? The loli whose underwear you sniff?"
"AAhhhhh!? How-who… but… no!?"
"Shhh! I am Iris! Believe me! Just tell the guards around us that I'm not a threat! Please! I don't want to reveal any more dirty secrets!"
"Woah woah! Easy there! Okay! Okay… Uh, everyone, weapons down! The lie detector didn't ring; I thin… the real princess is here…? even though she looks weird. Let's hear her talk first… Oi, feel free to remove these binds now."
I am actually out of blackmail to use, so thank Lady Eris that worked.
"Wait, Claire-sama, does that mean you really sniffed-"
"[Silence]!"
…
An awkward one at that.
""...You wouldn't believe her look when I proposed! I mean, she was totally in preteen mode! Her cheeks were flush, she couldn't think straight! I think there might have even been a slight stain on her dress-""
Okay, okay, you can stop now!
Just… ! I'm already inside! Argh you are so dead.
And those soldiers. Why are they listening so intently as if he's the priest? This is not a comedy show!
"What about that boy? Did you really get engaged with him!? Without our permission!? Please tell me that's a joke. Do you have any idea how many of his letters I had to steal and burn to keep Your Highness' dignity?"
"Yes that's all fake. Don't trust anything this idiot is broadcasting right now. Don't worry about it…I'm here to tell you some important information."
I was wondering why he came out of the blue… He'd been trying to contact me this whole time!
"Look, I know I don't look anything like the Iris you know… and loved… in a creepy way… But! I can explain! So… this village you're attacking-"
"Is a citadel built by the evil goddess Regina."
"Y-you know her!?"
"Of course, us royalty are well-educated on the lesser-known history. She's a maniac. A fallen angel. A heretic. She was the very reason Lady Eris became our symbol."
"She's not evil! She's trustworthy! We just ran into some problems during our… NOT-honeymoon."
"Sounds like what Regina would say. Those chains you cast on me… Only Regina's cultists can use them! Say, you're one of her many puppets, aren't you!? Guards-"
"Regina almost died to save me! Please listen!"
…
She seems confused.
The lie detector hasn't sounded once.
I guess the combination of emotional shock and my puppy eyes had an effect.
At least, she's starting to believe me…
""...Holding her hand with no gloves on under the sunset felt good, but I thought: hey, maybe we can go beyond just holding hands. It's just the two of us after all-""
Oh my Eris.
And the soldiers are clapping. Screw them too.
"...You better have a perfect explanation for all this."
"Right, right. So, we went out to play. I thought Revi just wanted me to train him, but as I now understand, he had been trying to close the gap with me after the… Kazuma incident. We kinda got distracted and trespassed this village, Uroburos. So, as a form of payback, Regina wanted us to run an errand for her-"
"Goddess of vengeance at work… Sends shivers down my spine. I never thought I would ever see that fiend in my lifetime, yet… Sigh, go on."
"Anyways, she locked away our real bodies and gave us temporary ones; that is, the one I'm using right now. That's why I look different!"
"[Soul Debt]. The scariest curse known… Even worse than [Premonition of Death]."
"Huh? I-I've never heard of it."
"It's a hidden aura of her and all her followers. Any harm incurred to her or her belongings are destined to be paid back, no matter how long it takes. Legends tell of a man-her own creation-tortured for centuries, unable to die until he has paid his debt. For he was the hero who brought the people together, against her tyranny."
"M-makemake? B-but… He's no hero, he's a failed archwizard! He tries so hard to look cool and strong, only for his own stupidity to fail him. Pathetic, if you ask me…"
"Y-you've met him!? The Tortured Liberator of Norse!? Tell me, what does he look like? What happened to him!?"
""... I said: dang, that dress ain't even lingerie! It's showing everything! And man, you Belzerg girls sure have those great genetics!""
"...Imagine that guy, but… Old, acts like Kazuma without his loyalty, speaks like Megumin."
…
"...Hmm, that was… rather surprising. I'm not disappointed, just surprised."
Ding.
Oh Claire, don't tell me you had the hots for-
"Ugh! I am a little disappointed, alright? Look, even if he was an awkward guy, he freed the people of Norse who would otherwise have worked themselves to death generation upon generation!"
"Claire, Makemake tried to kill us. He was the maniac, not Regina. He seriously tried to kill three young girl-"
Ding.
"Uh, two young girls, a mediocre prince and an innocent-"
Ding.
This damn lie detector really doesn't like Rorisa, does it?
"Fine! A somewhat lewd but mostly pure and cute succubus."
"A what!? You were with a succubus!? Really!? Young lady, we have a lot of talk about afterwards. We devout royal Eris followers don't deal with those filthy-"
Ding.
…
We nodded at each other understandingly.
"...Yeah, so Makemake. He's a bloodthirsty killer, huh. That's a real shame, but it doesn't excuse Regina from exposing you to danger in the first place!"
"Claire, she didn't intend it! It was supposed to be a quick in-and-out, 20 minute adventure! …Well, we had to look around Axel for a party, but… Look, Regina helped us every step of the journey, and I have super goddess powers now, thanks to her and her followers' [Empower] spell."
"So that's how you tied me up… [Empower]... Why did they do that? Were they trying to experiment on you!?"
"No! Regina was too weak to fight Makemake! She would have died if not for my decisive, last minute-"
Ding.
"Huh? What was false about that? I-"
Ding.
"Okay, uh, it was a team effort by my whole party and Regina's archwizards."
Ding.
"Iris, what is going on? Are you missing anyone still?"
Crap.
Crap crap crap.
Who am I missing?
Let's see, we started fighting, Regina gave my old body back, and I-
Oh.
Right, I died.
I'll have to sidestep this… somehow.
""...I thought that was a pretty awesome honeymoon. She was lying naked beside me, for Eris's sake. I couldn't be happier.""
Revi is running out of stories.
I have to make a convincing argument fast.
"It was me, my party, Regina's group, and Regina's relative."
…
Hopefully she doesn't overthink this.
"...Relative? Tell me who, or I'm razing this place to the ground."
Damn it.
Damn it!
If I told her the truth, she would surely find out that I died and destroy Uroboros!
Think, Iris, think! What would Big Boss do? What would other-Big-Boss do?
What would onii-san do?
"Iris, I'm trying to help you here. No matter how I look at it, Regina is putting you in danger. We will march in there, take your real body back, and leave whatever will be left of this place be. However, if Regina really has a relative, that'll be a different story. We'd be looking at a full-on war, while the Demon King business is still ongoing."
"My real body is dead! Alright? I suffered a deadly injury during battle and the only reason I'm still here is- is…"
"Eris-sama!?"
Eh?
How did she know?
She also looks like she'd just seen a ghost.
"Regina would have saved her had she not been powerless. Makemake was a looming threat that had to be eliminated eventually. Iris's case was special; I will take care of it."
…W-who!?
I looked behind me-
"H-h-how did you just-!?"
Eris-sama just appeared out of nowhere!
I've never seen a goddess before!
My mind is going blank!
"Eris-sama… forgives her? A-and, everything will work out?"
"Claire, I know you're shocked that Iris's original body died, but her soul didn't. She's still alive. Regina convinced me to let her live."
Wait, why do I feel like a villain all of the sudden?
An ancient demon that cannot be killed…
"Eh…? Do you really think that's the best thing to do…? Well, if Eris-sama demands it…"
…And with that, Eris disappeared.
""Thank you all for listening! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have adult duties to attend to. See y'all muscleheads later!""
Revi finished his gig and ran.
Like a little girl.
Well, he did his part. Who am I to complain?
-!
Just now, Claire stood up and dashed out of the tent-
Oh please please call off the attack…!
I'm praying to every goddess out there-
-Maybe not Aqua, but most goddesses.
""Battalion, urgent change of plans; due to divine intervention, we must abort this siege. More information later. Eris Vult.""
What an unbelievable turn of events.
I totally did not expect Claire to know Regina, let alone be so mad at her.
I didn't expect Eris to just descend like that either.
But most importantly, the attack was cancelled!
As the soldiers began packing up the camp, Claire came back to me.
"Iris, let's go. I don't care where your new friends are or that you look different, it's time for you to go home. I'm sure the King will have a lot to say about this."
I gulped.
I know I'm asking a lot here.
Way too much!
A royal is supposed to be greedy afterall.
"Yeah, about that. I kinda need you to cover everything that just happened up nicely. Kk? I mean you are pretty devious, when you need to be, right?"
D… don't look so incredulous!
"Cover up? But I've already announced the situation-or at least, what I thought was-to the whole armed forces… Why would you want a cover up? Did you do anything else with your friends besides fighting a centenarian wizard? Was that pervert prince's story based on true events!?"
"Because… if I go back now, I might never get my original body back. And don't believe anything the twink prince said, either! Nothing like that happened….gah!"
"With respect, Your Highness… I know your original body held the formidable Belzerg bloodline and all, but we're willing to give it up if it means you can be safely back in the castle. Your wellbeing is all we care about."
"No, Claire, I need you to trust me. I want to stay here. I have my own things to do. Please stop looking for me. You know me better than anyone…both mentally and physically. Can't you have just a little faith in me?"
Willbreaker stare, engage!
"Gah, those eyes, stop! Stop-!… Uuuuu-"
I've reserved this technique only for the most unreasonable of circumstances. The tallest orders.
This is only the third time I've ever employed them to Claire…
"If...if I go back without you, I might get beheaded for real this time…."
Yikes.
She's probably not wrong.
"Just tell her to use that puppet clone, I'll give control of it back to you so you can properly interact. With this quateniona servant's support, it should make a much more convincing performance!"
…!?
A voice in my head… Regina-sama?
Regina with the clutch save!
We hashed out some details for the puppet plan.
Claire and Rain would manage the puppet, and I would in turn submit daily reports via it.
Oh, also my spymaster is going to be on permanent watch duty over me. Claire was firm on that matter.
At least she knows how to keep out from underfoot, but I do feel like I've lost a little of my hard won freedom.
After a hard fought negotiation, we finally shook hands firmly.
Claire looked at me with a smug chagrin and raised an eyebrow.
"...You sure the prince's story is just that? He sure seems to have rubbed off on you...s….should I inspect your purity one last time perhaps!?"
"N, nothing of the sort happened, and I'm not some kinda hussy, how could you say such a thing!?"
I'm pretty sure the worst case scenario with Revi is better than your "purity check", Claire-sama!
I ended up submitting to her purity check.
One last sacrifice to buy her cooperation.
Really…
It lasted way too long with unnecessary amounts of… touching.
Did she really have to look and sound like Kazuma in the women's bath?
…
I can't believe this.
I've had my panties off far too many times of late.
Whatever happened to keeping my royal purity until marriage?
As I trudged back out of the camp, I encountered a T-posing Rorisa.
Ahh, I see. She's using illusion magic to hide herself and Revi.
"Oi, you two, it's safe now. Let's go."
Rorisa dropped her arms, trembling slightly as she sighed in relief.
Just how long had she been doing that?
"Ahh, She saw us, crap….let's run; can you fly me away before she kills me? Hey, Rorisa!"
"I..I'm sorry my prince, I'm at my limit, let me hold her feet so you can at least run!"
…
Oh.
They weren't hiding from the soldiers, rather.
Revi was hiding from me!
It seems my priest powers override illusion spells.
"Oh, that's right, I almost forgot…! C'mere Mr. Liar F*ckboy!"
"Gyaaahhhhhh! SAAAVVE MEEEE!"
This twerp has done tremendous damage to my image.
And what was with my soldiers, getting so hyped up for what?!
Do they all want to lewd me so bad!?
I'm their princess, for Eris's sake! They put their lives on the line for me! Not HIM!
Is everyone around me a pervert?
"I'm gonna take all my frustrations out on you, I hope you have prepared yourself, Revinian Dick Simpson Ritch-Cache…"
I used his full name even though I have no idea what it is. Improvise, overcome.
I stalked up to him menacingly, as he looked up in horror as I raised my fist.
"Haah!? How did you know my-Gah, not my face! Anywhere but-!"
Some Chad.
This is how you make a scene, you amatuer.
I didn't need to look back to know full well he was touching his cheek where I pecked him.
Part 6
We ended up staying as Regina's guests for a few days to recuperate..
Being looked upon as a royal figure, a hero...even a dragon slayer, I'd thought I'd become accustomed to it.
"Greetings, Alice-sama! Would you like some of these flowers I just picked?"
But…
"Alice-sama! It's Alice-sama! Looky look!"
I smiled and waved.
It seems the legend of Alice, Regina-sama's chosen champion, had taken on a life of its own.
I mean, yeah… The survival and defense of the town has in fact depended on me the last couple days.
"Alice-sama, Alice-sama! Is it true you held our dear goddess to your bosom and nursed her to health yourself! Please let me touch you too~~~!"
It's one thing to be adored, another to be worshiped!
The night of our return Regina had gone deathly pale and shook like she was freezing.
At Rorisa's suggestion, I'd cuddled with her through the night… In an optimized fashion; that is, sans-clothes.
Allowing the mana that belonged to her since the start to diffuse back.
It worked, but as each day passed, I could feel the balance of my empowerment siphoning back to her.
Just this morning, the "Arch-Battlepriest" title on my adventuring card reverted.
It seems I'm not yet worthy of that advanced class on my own.
...
Which means, for the first time in my life, I cannot rely on genetics.
I'm getting a freaking training arc!
Like onii-sama told me about!
HYPE!
Reaching the teleport location, I found my party mates and said petite goddess waiting for me.
"The Devil wants to sleep in her own bed and take advantage of the kind adventures offerings of guild food-. Can we go home now~~~~~?"
Revi was glancing at me uneasily, heh.
Don't know how to deal with me now huh?
Boys.
Did you really think my revenge would be so simple as some physical abuse?
The tor-...training has only begun!
"I see everyone has arrived, good." Said Regina as she walked up with Rorisa and Marion-san.
"...I'm truly grateful for all your efforts, not only is this city and its inhabitants only still here due to your efforts, you even took out a long standing threat. Give yourselves a pat on the back, won't you?"
Marion-san gave a round of applause for us.
Komekko also clapped. I guess we're heroes to her.
"I…truly had not expected to gain this much out of a misadventure, both physically and mentally. To think all of this resulted from a half-hearted prank is eye-opening. As the goddess of karma, I can assure your futures will be filled with success and it's the least I can do, right? That said…"
Regina looked to me?
"Over the past few days and nights, I've been thoroughly reflecting on my own ideologies. After all, I've been doubting myself ever since that incident. It was during my talk with Eris-san that inspiration finally struck. See, the downfall of Norse, the creation of Makemake, and now the near devastation of Uroboros…"
She paused for a moment and lowered her head.
"...All happened because I was there. Aqua-san, Eris-san both led successful and prosperous nations, small as they may be, without divine presence. What I saw as leading my people towards greatness was in fact dooming them to reliance and chaos. To meddle with the mortal world is to bring a child into battle. And that is why…"
She closed her eyes and held her hands to her chest-
"I took Eris-san's secret advice."
Huh!?
This is…
"That's right, clever girl. Starting now, I shall seek a different lifestyle-a more 'hands-off' approach. I will leave the settlement to be run by my most devout followers while I myself take the back seat to have some fun… adventuring."
"Adventuring? But… where will you go? Won't you just obliterate every monster with your goddess powers?"
Revi, you slowpoke.
Parties of four are overrated anyways.
"Hmm, maybe I should word it this way. Ahem. Greetings, adventurers! I am Regina... May I join your party?"
Epilogue - Spirit of Adventure
And thus, a situation came to a close, a princess found a new way of life, and a goddess found a home.
"Oi oi, don't you have any tea?"
Speaking of home…
"Senpai, please don't interrupt..."
I've arranged a little meeting in the attic of a certain house in Axel.
"The first trilateral goddess summit of Axel is now in session…"
Certain matters must be dealt with.
Three figures seated around a table.
Myself, the beautiful purple figure.
The clowny, childish blue figure.
The overcompensating, silvery haired figure.
"I'm not happy with you getting Iris killed yanno…"
It's not like that was my intention!
"That was… My fault, yes it was. But in my defense, the situation was entirely out of my control by the point at which it occurred, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, she was very weak, don't you know Aqua-sama? Like Iris said, I can testify that Regina-san was indeed in no shape to contest the dangers; however, I do believe that she is responsible for Iris's apparent death. Thus, as the death was divine intervention, I took the freedom to partially revive her. Hope you don't mind…"
"Oho? So the NEET dying multiple times in my party, me being a more powerful goddess than you, doesn't count as divine intervention!? Hey, I'm the most divine thing in this world! Why did I have to beg you personally!? And what do you mean 'partially'!? The NEET will go nuts if he finds out!"
"Ueeh! Senpai, you have to understand… You are an archpriest, it's your duty to resurrect them! Alas...I couldn't recall her to her body" She said, as they both turned to me.
Soul Locked.
That is the issue at hand.
"...and so, I'm going to have to work on this for some time. I'll need both your powers from time to time to speed up my research. Reopening a door that was so powerfully shut is a delicate matter. If i'm not surgically precise with the mana and soul linkage, she may be...corrupted, or worse."
I'm going to be stuck in a lab for months, maybe years.
Hmph, well.
I owe it to her, don't I?
"Although you're currently locked out of heaven, at least you can adventure with your friends. That to me is enviable enough. Right, Eris-chan?"
"Hm? Ah, yes… I wish there was a way for me to spend time with my followers and Aqua's party. Too bad I have to stay in heaven and do goddess duties…"
"Hey, just maybe… I could stitch up a plush of you so the angels can't tell when you go to have fun in the mortal realm. My textile skills are great, you know?"
"Yeah, maybe she can whip you up some more convincing pads? Speaking of which...Jiiiiiii…"
W...what!?
Stop looking at me like that!
"Heh, seems like my kohai isn't the smallest one around now anyway. Oi, oi. Isn't she actually kinda cute like this?!"
"Fufufu, i've been thinking this for awhile now myself...I kinda wanna tease her…"
"I wanna spank her...ehe…"
EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?
Epilogue Two
It was great to sleep in my own bed again!
While the sun was still rising, a cool dawn breeze wafted through the base, and the prince was still sleeping…
Time for a gratuitous display of hard won freedom.
Sneaking my way down into the kitchen, I popped the seal on a bottle of milk and chugged
"Puaaahhhh!"
Clad only in my panties.
Hey, don't knock it!
This is something I could have never done in the palace. It's the little things in life that end up the most rewarding. Besides, that guy won't be up for hours…
"Oh, is it that time of year already?"
GAH!?
Behind me, Komekko was stripping down to her bat prints.
"The Devil finds this is the best way to beat the summer heat around the house, though I usually wear a top. Iris is especially bold. I will follow your example!"
Sounds like she takes these things for granted.
…
Like that chest!
"Hmm, is something wrong with your breasts? Why are you checking them? The Devil wants to know!"
Yes, something is wrong!
Why am I losing to a preteen!?
Why is she so bouncy!?
Sigh
"...Wanna sit and have a chat?"
"Sure!"
I sat down with our excitable little devil, drinking milk and swapping stories.
"...And that's how I met your nii-san"
"Ehe! and from that, this princess developed such a crush, hmmm? Inquiring Devils want to know, fufufu"
"..."
Was it that obvious when I recounted it? Furthermore, Did she already see the world in such terms?
"And since when were Little Devils even aware of such things, hmmm? I don't care what you look like, it's ten years too early for girl talk of that kind, lil brat."
"T, the Devil is very mature! Totally not a kid!"
Uh huh.
"Here, let me pour you some more milk."
"Oh, thank you!"
Heh. Whatever, we got time. In this rowdy town of beginnings, I can find whatever it is I'm looking for.
…
Maybe i'll go catch a glimpse of onii-sama soon…
"...So everything Revi said back there was a lie, was it?"
Hmm?
She'd still been talking while my attention wandered.
"...At the camp"
Ahh!
"Yes of course, not a word of that oversexed twink prince was true. Thanks for reminding me, I still owe him one hell of a beating!"
Yet as I fumed with renewed vigor, Komekko breathed out in obvious relief.
"...Honestly, I couldn't really be sure, the way you two were flirting in front of the Devil all that time since we met. I thought for sure you two were a long betrothed couple or something."
Formerly!
…
But, she's not wrong.
"We're not like that! Just...not friends...Frenemies? I don't know, Definitely not lovers! That weak, cowardly, idiot pervert prince-"
"Eh? He may not be strong, but he's not stupid...or a coward, really. The Devil has seen it! I…in fact, during that distraction…" she said with a reddening face.
...Eh?
"T..the Devil thinks he looked p, pretty cool!"
EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?
End of Book One!
(Onto book two)
Ugh...
So i've been sitting on this mostly completed for like 8 months at least.
Sorry. Life happens, lazy happens. Oh, and I've been slowly gathering art for the fic...
If you'd like to see or comment, you can stop by BoringBone's dis_cord server -
dis_cord server invite /KwtuzmQ9 (7 only valid heh)