Crossing The Line With These Thirsty Royals

Part 1

I've never seen Revi with a smug smile quite like the one he gave me the next morning, when I came down for breakfast.

"Thank you for the show last night, Iris-san. I had plenty of material for my 'night session' thanks to you."

I almost picked up the chair I was about to sit on and threw it at him. I barely managed to contain myself. He should at least have a hangover, it's not fair.

"The devil thinks that Revi went too far with teasing Iris…"

Komekko-chan said, giving Revi a stern look.

"A-Ah, maybe I went too far. Sorry about that, Iris~!"

This guy was on his best behavior only when Komekko-chan was around. He was a complete degenerate otherwise, especially around me.

"Is Rori-san alright? Your stomach looks kind of bloated…"

After giving Revi a talking to, Komekko-chan turned her attention to Rori-san, who was rubbing her bloated tummy, despite not having eaten anything for breakfast.

"I had quite a feast yesterday with all the lustful feelings in the air last night. Thank you for the meal…!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I said, refusing to acknowledge what she said.

"You're welcome for the meal, Rori-san! I'll be happy to give you a feast whenever you want~!"

"Oh, Revi-san! You sure do spoil me~!"

No matter how you look at it, those two had a suspicious relationship.

"Too bad Serena-san only stayed for one night. She was probably scared off by the exhibitionist freak who went around showing off her slutty body last night."

"First of all, it was your stupid punishment game, remember? You came up with it?"

"You're the one who agreed to the challenge."

"You know that I don't back down to any challenge! You exploited my weakness!"

"A gullible girl that strips down to her underwear after her weakness has been exploited… Sounds like you belong in one of those suspicious districts in Lexa. Word of advice, you should be careful of men who call themselves 'model scouts', especially if they conduct their interviews on black leather couches…"

I threw the chair at him.

…

…

Revi wisely chose to skip morning practice.

"You sure are beating up on that dummy."

Regina-sama said, as she watched me beat up a dummy with a wooden sword.

"Shouldn't you be working on bringing me back to my original form?"

"Hah? You expect me to hole up in my lab all day? Uwa, what a slave driver. Even a despicable dark goddess like me needs some sunlight and fresh air, you know?"

"I didn't say all that other stuff. Help yourself to the sun and air then, I guess. It's free, after all."

"I assumed it was free, or does your kingdom have a sunlight and oxygen tax, too?"

I'd long gotten accustomed to Regina-sama's unique brand of humor, if you could call it that. I just shrugged and went back to my practice.

"You know, Regina-sama, all this time, I've been using the Battle Priest class in a backline, supportive role. Why didn't you tell me that it functions more like a Crusader?"

I used [Shadowthread], which caused a dark tendril of shadow to shoot out of my palm. It latched on to a dummy ten feet away from me, and pulled the dummy within striking distance. I struck it with my sword as soon as it got into range.

"I thought it was obvious? I mean, first of all, it's in the name, Battle Priest. And look at how the skills work. Damage reflection, the ability to self-buff, that skill you just used, which brings enemies closer to you… I thought it would be the perfect class for you based on your background as a swordsman...Oh, and the only crusader you knew wasn't exactly a...role model."

"...I just assumed it wasn't a combat class since it doesn't have any inherent sword skills. It also doesn't give me any boosts in my Strength attribute."

"Traditionally, Battle Priests were warriors who rushed head first into combat, absorbing as much damage as they could. Then, they will unleash that damage with [Akashic Discharge]. They don't necessarily rely on weapon skills to deal damage, although the best Battle Priests are also proficient with a weapon, as a secondary source of offense."

"I guess I was too fixated on the 'Priest' part. I thought that I'd be stuck healing in the backlines all the time."

"The normal Priest class is the 'Holy' variant of Battle Priest. The Battle Priest class is unique to followers of dark goddesses…"

"Oi, oi, oi. If Priest is the 'Holy' version, then what kind of variant is Battle Priest, huh?! Don't tell me that I'm the evil counterpart!"

"Well, the class used to be called 'Dark Priest', but we felt that Battle Priest was more politically correct."

No wonder why the skills sound kind of evil.

"If the Priest skill-tree focuses on 'protection', then Battle Priest focuses on 'revenge'. It's kind of fitting, considering my domain. By the way, just like the advanced version of the priest class is Arch-Priest, you also have the potential to become an Arch-Battle Priest. Make sure to work hard!"

"And what do I need to do to unlock the advanced version? Sacrifice twenty orphans?"

"Come now, I'm not that evil of a goddess. A couple virgins thrown into a volcano will do."

I couldn't tell if she was joking or not.

Oi, is she telling my party to commit suicide!?

"By the way, why is Regina-sama only telling me this now? This information would have helped a lot during the Makemake battle, you know?"

"I'm more like a hands-off teacher. You won't learn unless you figure out things yourself. That's the point of your journey, right? You left the comforts of your castle walls to experience the world in a way only you can experience it. At the end of the day, I just wanted to give you the freedom you wanted."

"Regina-san…"

She smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"...You just wanted to watch me suffer, didn't you?"

"I can't deny it was fun watching you swing that stave around."

I practiced [Shadowthread] on the dummies some more, while Regina-sama gave me some advice.

After I felt like I had a good handle on how to incorporate my sword style with the skill, I went back inside to take a bath.

Part 2

Aside from a productive morning practice, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful.

I wanted to make use of what I learned on some monsters, but all the good quests were taken. We ended up lounging around in the guild all day. At least Komekko-chan had a good time, with all the food she got to order in the restaurant.

The day still went by pretty fast, even though absolutely nothing of significance happened. It was already nighttime before I knew it. It's funny how motivation works. I was all energized and ready to take on the world in the morning. Throughout the day, though, I slowly lost all that motivation. Before I knew it the day passed me by until I found myself on my bed, wrapped in my blanket in a comfortable cocoon, the day having slipped past me like a miraculous gust of wind that only seems to target the skirts of young girls.

As I drifted off to sleep, before my consciousness completely faded away, I felt someone else's presence in my room.

I figured it was probably Revi, pulling some kind of perverted prank on me.

Normally, I'd just scream my lungs out and humiliate him in front of the other girls. He had been gaining a lot of points with Komekko-chan. It was tempting to reveal him for the pervert he was, but I had another idea.

I used [Shadowthread], the skill I was dying to use on monsters. I heard a gasp of surprise as the shadow extended from my palm and dragged the intruder over to me.

He ended up on top of me, over the bed.

I flipped him over, grinning wickedly, as I got up and transitioned to his back, pinning him down to the bed while straddling his back. I pulled my blanket over his body, wrapping him up in a restrictive cocoon.

"...You naughty, perverted prince, sneaking into my room like that. What were you planning to do, huh?"

"Hmmph! Hmmph!"

He struggled to speak with the blanket wrapped around him, and with me shoving his face against my pillow.

"Heh, you've put me through a lot of embarrassing situations lately… Why don't I exact some revenge?"

I've been entrusted with a class that focuses on 'revenge', after all.

"What did you say to me again last night? 'Would you kill me if I bent you over that sink and spanked those cheeks'? Well, let's see if you can put your money where your mouth is, huh?"

"Hmmmph?!"

I raised my hand and smacked down on his butt.

SMACK!

"...Hmmph?!"

His muffled screaming went a pitch higher. I didn't know he could scream like that. How amusing.

Unable to contain myself, I went ahead and kept smacking with my hand, laughing as he continued to squeal.

"Haha! What's with those high-pitched squeals! You almost sound like a girl!"

"Hmmmph! Hmmmmphh!"

He was starting to sound more like a girl.

No, instead of 'like a girl'...

Revi's voice significantly deepened over the years.

In the first place, there was no way a boy who went through puberty could make the feminine voice this intruder was making.

"..."

I took a nervous gulp and pulled the sheets off the intruder.

Instead of red hair, I saw silver hair, which had become sweaty, sticking to her skin.

She turned around, mask covering half her face, her blue eyes looking at mine with a dazed, pleading look.

"S-Stop! It's me, it's me! It's your thieving group senpai, Chris!"

…

…

"S-Sorry about that, senpai. I thought you were this boy in my party, so I did all those horrible things to you."

"What kind of dirty things do you do with this boy, Iris?!"

After clearing up the misunderstanding, I released Chris-senpai and apologized many times to her.

She was still blushing and couldn't meet me in the eye. An awkward atmosphere had filled the room.

"In any case, what is senpai doing in my room? It's partly your fault for making me think that I was being night raided. That's right, if you didn't sneak into my room like that, I wouldn't have done all those things to you."

"Ugh, is it the fate of all female thieves to be molested like this? Kazuma-kun also said something like that after doing all kinds of things to my body…"

"...Don't tell me you did the 'captured female thief' roleplay with onii-sama?"

"What kind of play is that?! No such thing happened between us!"

She blushing way too much and denying way too hard for me to believe her.

"So, what exactly is senpai doing sneaking into my room, wearing thief cosplay?"

"...It's not cosplay. I'm a real thief, you know? And I'm here to talk about what happened the last time we met. You know, when you died?"

"..."

The last time we met, I found out that Chris-senpai and the goddess Eris were the same person.

It was also thanks to her that I was able to come back to life.

"What did you want to talk about?"

She looked at me in disbelief.

"Well, first of all, I want to know why you got in contact with Regina, an ancient, dark goddess in the first place. I know I haven't seen you in a while, but you were this happy, sweet little girl the last time I met you. It was a big shock for me when you died and ended up in my realm, you know?!"

"...I just wanted to go on an adventure. I'm about to come of age. As royalty, that means I'll completely lose my freedom. No more sneaking off to play with the Thieves group, no more having fun in the base, I'll have to rot away in that castle forever."

Her eyes softened as I told her the reason why I agreed to go on Regina-sama's quest.

"So, basically, you wanted to be a teenager. I guess... I can't fault you for that."

"Yeah, you can't really blame me since you do the same thing with your double life. In fact, it's normal for a teenager to do the things I'm doing, but for a goddess as old as senpai… Isn't this what they call a midlife crisis?"

"I'm not that old?! Besides, our real ages aren't that different. It's too confusing to use an avatar that's too old or young so...If you say midlife crisis again, I'm gonna tell your onii-sama what you've been up to!"

"I'm sorry! I said something I shouldn't have! Anything but that!"

Everybody has something they'll never forgive. I guess I discovered what that was for senpai.

"So… Do we have an understanding? I bet senpai knows what it's like, to want to go on an adventure."

She glanced away and scratched the scar on her cheek.

That scar is proof that she understands where I'm coming from.

"Yeah… Fine, I get it. I can't say that I don't worry about you, but I trust that you know what you're doing."

I smiled in sincere gratitude.

"Thank you… And again, sorry for spanking you."

"You don't need to mention that again. Also, why does even Iris have more experience than me!?"

She sighed, seeming like a weight from her shoulders had been lifted. Then, she looked at me, as if considering something.

"If you're serious about this, then maybe I can ask you to help with my current job."

My eyes widened, I stood up, running over to her.

"Is it a thieving job? Is it?!"

"Y-Yeah, but…"

"Well, don't keep me in suspense. What is it?"

"...I got a tip. Someone wants to infiltrate the royal castle and steal your sword, Calibur."

Part 3

The next day, while we were at the guild, hunting for quests, as usual, Revi remarked on my appearance,

"Whoa, you look like a One-hit bear mauled you. That's brutal."

He was referring to my exhausted appearance.

I couldn't sleep at all after what senpai told me last night.

"I had a rough time sleeping last night."

"If the devil can't sleep, I usually go down to the kitchen and make myself a midnight feast!"

"Don't you mean midnight snack, Kome-chan?"

"I know what I said."

I gave up on scanning the quest board for any good quests. The try-hards had already snatched all the good ones. Those bastards.

I headed over to the restaurant. The others followed, having gotten used to this routine by now.

I ordered some Iced Neroid, hoping the cool, sweet beverage would give me some energy.

"Sorry, but eating until I get a food coma doesn't sound too appealing to me."

"How come no one listens to the devil's advice…"

"Because your solutions mostly involve food"

"Having a full stomach resolves a lot of life's problems!"

Rori-san ordered an Iced Neroid as well. After taking a sip, she placed her glass down. She looked at me in the eyes.

"Whatever's on your mind, you can tell us, Iris-san. It's not good to keep things to yourself, you know? You know what they say, gossip will set you free."

"It's not gossip that's weighing down on my mind, and I think you got that saying wrong. Well, if you guys really must know…"

While keeping senpai's involvement a secret for now, I told them about what senpai told me.

"A thief plans to infiltrate the royal castle and steal the legendary sword that slayed a golden dragon, Calibur… What's the big deal? The only thing Belzerg is good for is their paranoia when it comes to guarding their overpowered weapons. There's no way some random thief can steal Iris's sword…"

Revi said, not looking at all concerned. He absentmindedly chewed on the fried toad skewer he ordered. Beside him, Komekko-chan was already on her third plate of the set meals.

"It's not just any thief. I heard it's a master thief who has been causing problems lately. They go around stealing treasures from nobles, more specifically, magic swords. They've started calling this person 'The Sword Plundering Nemesis'."

"T-That sounds cool! Could this person be a Crimson Demon?!"

"I wouldn't get excited about that, Komekko-chan. This person is a menace to society, and he will surely be executed once caught."

"So cool!"

I couldn't really understand what the Crimson Demons thought of as 'cool' anymore. I used to think I did.

"...Then this is pretty bad, isn't it? A legendary sword like that must cost a lot of money. You can't afford to lose such an asset."

I scoffed at Revi's words.

"I don't care about the money. Think about the history, the cultural significance of that sword. If we let some thief steal it, what will our ancestors think?"

"History is over and done with, culture is worth shit, and your ancestors are long dead. That sword is only worth something when it's helping you kill dragons. Other than that, it's only valuable in terms of its monetary value. I don't see you swinging it around to kill dragons anymore, so I say you should just auction it off!"

As usual, he gets really worked up when it comes to money.

"Is the castle staff aware of this thief's plan?"

Rorisa-san asked, breaking up the brewing argument between Revi and I before it could escalate.

"I sent a message as soon as I found out. Since it's coming from me, they took it seriously and told me that security will increase."

"Then there shouldn't be a problem. What are you even worrying about? It's out of your hands now, anyway."

Out of my hands…

If I could use Calibur like before, I wouldn't have to worry about it falling in the wrong hands.

Sure, it might be safer to be protected by the country's elite knights, rather than in the hands of some teenage girl, but it's my sword, my birthright.

"What do you plan to do, senpai? Do you need help protecting the sword?! I can help!"

"...No, Iris, all you need to do, if you want to help me, is to send a message to your retainers. Tell them about the thief's plans. If it's coming from you, they'll take the warning seriously. If you do that, you'll already be helping a lot. Do you understand?"

In the end, even senpai didn't believe in me.

She still thinks I'm playing around with this adventurer thing.

She said that she understood and supported my decision, but she still thought of me as a little kid.

"...Do you guys want to spend the rest of the day bumming around all day again in the guild, or do you want to go on a little trip?"

Part 4

Here's a brief summary of how I convinced the others to come with me to the capital.

"There's a famous mixed bathhouse in the capital."

"There's a famous all you can eat buffet in the capital."

"I'll let you try out my princess dresses."

Once they were properly convinced, we packed up our gear and headed to the teleportation shop.

After paying the fare, and waiting our turn to use the teleportation circle, we promptly arrived in Belzerg's capital city.

"Remember, we're here for business, not pleasure."

I said, turning to the group once we came out of the capital's teleportation shop.

"B-But what about the bathhouse?!"

"What about the buffet?!"

"You promised to let me try on your dresses! You liar!"

I was caught in a three-person tug of war, as they pulled on my clothes on all sides.

"Fine, fine! After we drop off our things in the castle, we can head to the bathhouse first!"

"We'll go to the buffet after, right?!"

"You'll let me try on your dresses, too, right?!"

They were completely intent in asserting their own self-interests.

After promising over and over that they would get to do what they wanted, I managed to hoard them into the castle.

Claire and Rain were already waiting at the entrance, ready to greet me.

"Princess Iris! It's so good to see you!"

"Hi there, Rain."

Before I could continue chatting with Rain, Claire deeply bowed in front of me.

"Princess Iris! Thank you once more for forgiving me after my actions from last time! Thank you very much!"

I backed away instinctively from the bowing Claire. Mostly because I could sense that she was looking for an angle to look up at the short dress I was wearing.

Revi was also suspiciously bowing for no reason, too.

"...Rather than apologizing to me, I think you owe onii-sama and his family an apology."

"Ah, I already sent them a fruit basket."

...I'll get her to properly apologize later.

Claire and Rain led us inside. As we walked, she told us about the situation.

"We've increased security, even requesting some specialists to lend their services to us. Our security has improved ever since the… incident a few years ago. Rest assured, it won't happen again!"

Claire was probably talking about how onii-sama kicked their asses last time.

"Quite frankly, Princess Iris didn't need to waste her time coming all the way here to help. Ah, but your presence is very much welcome~!"

Even Claire was treating me like a kid… Wait, that was always the case.

After chatting for a little bit, introducing my comrades to Claire and Rain, we arrived in front of a familiar room.

"You can have your old room, Princess Iris. Your friends can stay in the guest rooms nearby."

I nodded to Rain, then turned to the others.

"Drop off your stuff then we can convene in my room. After that, we can go ahead and tour the city."

"Bathhouse!"

"Buffet!"

"Dresses! Actually, can I just stay in your room? I don't really need the tour."

What a troublesome bunch!

And Rori-san, you're usually the easiest party member to get along with, but you're the biggest pain in the ass right now with your princess obsession!

Claire and Rain left us alone as we got situated. After everyone got settled and left their gear and luggage in their rooms, we gathered in my room.

"...When do you think she'll come?"

"I'm already here. I got here earlier than you guys, actually."

"Wah?!"

As we were waiting around, Regina-sama unveiled herself from behind the curtains.

"...Were you just waiting there?"

"You don't appreciate my grand entrance, I see."

I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

"If Regina-sama got inside so easily, then what's all that talk about increased security?!"

Regina chuckled to herself.

"Don't be so hard on them. Infiltration is kind of my thing. Serena used to be a Demon King army general who specializes in infiltration, if you didn't know. Where do you think she learned her secrets from?"

"Ah, I get it! Regina-sama is so small that she snuck through some rat holes in the walls, or something!"

"I'm not that much of a chibi, boya."

"There's no damn rat holes in my castle, punk."

I asked Regina-sama to test the security of the castle. We were right to come. There was no way this lax security could stop a master thief that even senpai was worried about.

"So… When are we gonna go out and have some fun? We're going to the bathhouse next, right?"

"The devil doesn't really care about the bathhouse. Just tell me where the buffet is!"

"Where do you keep your dresses? Here? Ah, sorry, this must be your panty drawer. H-Hey, can I try them out, too…?"

I was worrying about the security of the castle while these people were stuck in their own little worlds.

Part 5

"I can't believe I have to come with you on your perverted escapades."

I said, as I led Revi to the bathhouse he was so keen to visit.

"W-Who said that I'm planning to do anything perverted? I just want to check out what the baths are like in this country, that's all. Ah, I'll have two tickets to the mixed baths, please."

He handed a few coins to the receptionist and stuffed a ticket in my hand.

"Oi, I didn't agree to coming to the mixed baths with you!"

"I already paid for the ticket. Oh, come on, princess, loosen up! Aren't you always the one talking about having fun and taking risks while we're adventuring? Come on, this is the kind of wild event you've been hoping for, right?"

"You think I'll forget how you tempted me into accepting that punishment game last time? I know your tricks!"

As if I'd let that silver tongue fool me again.

He shrugged and shook his head.

"Fine, then. I guess I'll go ahead and enjoy myself. Have fun in the women's baths by yourself, Iris! What a good, well-mannered, innocent little princess you are! All work and no play makes Iris a dull girl!"

After mocking me, he walked over to the mixed bath entrance. Two girls were about to enter at the same time as him. I recognized them as minor nobles I sometimes see in balls and social gatherings for nobility.

"Hey, you're pretty cute. Wanna hang out with us in the bath?"

"I like your red hair! That hair belongs to foreign nobility, doesn't it? Can I touch it?"

He didn't even step into the bath yet, and two blonde beauties were already flirting it up with him.

I seriously don't understand the appeal of this pervert prince!

First there was that Crimson Demon girl, and now he's even picking up these high-class ladies.

I heard that every man has a popular period in his life… I guess that rule applies even to this jerk.

"Y-Y-You want to hang out with me?! I mean, of course you do…"

I swooped in between them just before they could enter the mixed baths together.

"Ah, sorry about that, Ravi! I think I do want to join you in the baths after all!"

I glared at the two blondes, trying to get them to back off. However, they just crossed their arms and looked at me up and down, hoping to find a physical flaw they could criticize, until they saw my hair.

"T-That blue hair… Could it be that she's part of the infamous Axis cult?!"

"I've heard rumors that they've started to infiltrate the capital… Hey, let's just go to the women's side…"

"Good idea…"

They excused themselves and hurriedly went away.

To think that my hair color was feared even in the capital. Aqua-san, you're really something.

"Oi, what do you think you're doing scaring off my catch like that? I could have had a threesome with those two!"

Revi didn't seem very pleased about what I did. I smirked at him.

"You really think that I'd let you climb the stairs of adulthood before me? Get real."

"This girl… You'll be taking responsibility, right?"

"Huh?"

I was surprised when he started speaking in an assertive tone.

"You really think you can get away with cockblocking me like that? In my country, depriving a man of a threesome opportunity is a capital offense, you know?!"

"I'm versed in foregin policies and laws. There's no such thing."

"Even so, that's not cool, Iris. Really not cool… I hope you know that you owe me one from now on."

I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, fine, whatever."

I felt a bit bad for ruining his chances to score. Knowing how extraordinarily lame he is, that was probably a once and a lifetime chance for him to graduate.

After agreeing that I owed him one, we entered the changing rooms that led into the actual mixed baths. The changing room was mixed gendered as well, but there were lots of privacy stalls installed for customers to change in.

Revi seemed quite disappointed that he couldn't see girls stripping out of their clothes in the open. Sucks for him.

Since it's a mixed bath, everyone also wore a towel before entering the bath. There weren't any naked ladies around for Revi to gawk at once we entered the bath. All the enthusiasm from earlier left his body.

"This sucks… And there's a lot of guys, too."

"What the hell did you expect? A bath full of naked women with no men in sight? You seem to have a pretty deluded notion of what a mixed bath is."

"When I get back to Elroad, I'm going to create a mixed bath where I'm the only man allowed to enter. Also, no towels are allowed inside."

"No sane woman will ever use that bath. Just shut up and let's take a dip."

After lathering and rinsing ourselves off in the washing station, we entered the bath.

I sighed as the hot water immediately soothed my tense muscles. I slowly submerged myself into the water until I was neck deep.

Revi sat beside me, but instead of enjoying the bath, he kept his eyes out for any towel slips. I felt his gaze on me on more than one occasion.

"You know, if you're only here to do lewd things, why didn't you just go to a brothel or something? You'd see way more naked women there, and you'd actually get to touch them."

"...As if I'd want to lose my precious first time to a common whore. With all the money I have, you think I couldn't have done that at the first opportunity I got?"

He made a lot of sense, which was worrying.

If I can understand Revi's thought patterns, that must mean I'm becoming an idiot like him.

While I was soaking, I felt other male gazes aside from Revi on me.

I admit… It felt a bit flattering getting attention from lots of men. I couldn't help but straighten my back a bit and let my cleavage rise up to the surface, letting the gawkers have a bit of eye candy.

As I enjoyed the attention, a lady with black hair and black eyes approached us. She was wearing a bathhouse attendant outfit, a short-sleeved tunic and a very skimpy skirt.

She had the same features as onii-sama. Could she be from his country as well…?

"Hello, dear guests, my name is Sonia, one of the attendants here. Are you both enjoying yourselves?"

She had a pretty voice and spoke while flashing an equally gorgeous smile.

Needless to say, Revi was already in love.

"Y-You've got yourself a wonderful establishment here! And might I say that the attendants are very beautiful~!"

He was sulking about his missed opportunity with those two minor nobles earlier, but he'd already forgotten about them.

"Thank you very much! I approached you two because we're having a couples massage event right now. I was wondering if you two would be interested?"

"Oh, sorry, but we're not…"

"We'd love to try it out!"

Revi answered before I could politely decline.

"Oi…"

"You owe me, remember! If you don't want me to hold a grudge for the rest of my life, you better do this for me!"

I sighed and turned to face Sonia,

"...We'd like to try it out."

"Perfect! Please follow me…"

Sonia led us to a private room, away from the public bath area. She set up two mats and gestured to them.

"Please lay prone on the mats!"

I obediently laid down on my belly and opened my towel up at the front as soon as my torso was pressed against the mat. No way am I giving Revi a show. He gives a disappointed pout while watching me lay down.

"For a young couple, you two don't seem very comfortable seeing each other's bodies?"

Sona asked as she poured some oil on her hands. She started with Revi first, making him moan in giddy pleasure.

"Ah, well Alice here is a bit of a tsundere, a shy one really. Even though she services me well every night, she acts like this in public."

What kind of delusional backstory did he just give me?

I stop myself from bashing his head in, only because I'm worried about causing a scene. He really knows all my weaknesses.

As a princess who has worried about her public image all her life, there's no way I can do things that will leave a negative impression on other people.

After oiling after Revi's back, Sonia oils up her hands again and moves over to me.

I have to admit, it felt really nice. She's very skilled with her hands. She's only warming our muscles up, but it already feels very good, the way she's delicately pushing her hands up and down my back with gentle butterfly strokes.

As I was enjoying the soothing massage, I noticed Sonia pulling my towel down to my lower back.

I was about to protest, she dug her hands down into my exposed flesh and started kneading expertly.

"Ahn~!"

I couldn't help but let out an embarrassing noise. She was skillfully giving a deep-tissue massage that loosened the knots that had been forming in my back. It felt like my accumulated stress and fatigue were fading away.

I didn't even care that Revi was staring at me intently with his nostrils flaring, no doubt trying to catch a nip-slip.

I let out even more embarrassing sounds as she started using her knuckles to really release those stubborn muscle knots.

"Ahh… Oh gods! You're so good! That's the spot! Ngh~!"

This is actually really bad.

I feel like something that will destroy my reputation forever will happen if this lady keeps this up.

Thankfully, before anything can happen, Sonia stops and moves back to Revi.

Revi lets out an annoyed sigh until he feels Sonia's hands dig into his muscles.

"Kyaa~!"

He was letting out even girlier sounds than me.

Revi collapsed into a pile of mush after Sonia was done with him.

Unlike me, I wasn't so sure he held back from being pushed into the edge.

He let out a very suspicious moan by the end of it.

"Before we move on, how about we light some incense?"

Revi and I slowly nodded as Sonia went out to get some candles. I saw her take out one of those magic items onii-sama developed, the ones he called lighters. She lit the candles and we enjoyed the wonderful, floral scent.

It was so relaxing that my eyes felt heavy, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't quite drift off to sleep.

"...Tell me your real names."

Sonia asked, her voice sounding different compared to before.

"I am Iris Stylish-Sword Belzerg

"...I'm Revi Elroad."

For some reason, the incense smoke made me reveal my true identity.

Oh, well. It's only my name. It would be pretty rude not to share it if Sonia asks.

Sonia bent down and resumed massaging me. She said, "I saw you two coming out of the castle, but to think that you would be the princess of Belzerg and the prince of Revi in disguise. If I hold you two hostage, that could be very advantageous for Maouko-sama. Then again, we can't miss out on those treasured swords. Now, how about you tell me where the Holy sword Calibur is kept, hm?"

I paused. Sonia seemed pretty trustworthy, and her massage felt pretty good, but there was no way I'd share that information with anyone.

"...Hmm, tough one, huh? How about if I do this?"

"Hnngh?!"

I don't know what she's doing, but it feels better than the massage from before!

"Please tell me, Iris-chan. I'll make you feel really good if you tell me!"

No matter how good her massage is, I can't tell her anything about my family's treasures.

"Tsk… As expected of this country's princess. But your companion over there is a foreigner, yes? Perhaps he won't be as hard to break down…"

She moved over to Revi. My eyes were getting harder to keep open. I couldn't tell what they were doing, but that must be a great massage she was giving him. I felt pretty jealous.

"Say, Revi-kun? I'm a master thief who's planning to steal some treasures from the royal castle. Mind helping me out?"

"Uwa! Hnnn… Hngggh! OK, I'll help! We're supposed to guard the treasures, so I can help you if you plan to steal them!"

"...Well, that was easy. I should have started with asking this one first."

My brain was really foggy, but I couldn't help but feel like punching Revi at that moment.

"This magic item Maouko-sama gave me is really convenient. How capable, much more than her father. As expected of the Demon King's daughter."

After saying those words, Sonia brought the incense closer to me, enveloping me in the dizzying smoke.

"Alright you two. You'll forget about what happened here, but when I see you two in your room tonight, I expect you to help me steal the treasures. You two are a couple, so make sure to sleep in the same bed and do what normal couples do until it's time to help me out. I don't want anyone to get suspicious if you two start acting differently."

Revi and I are a couple? That's stupid. She probably thinks we're together since we agreed to do this couple's massage thing.

But if it's an order, I suppose I have to listen to it.

"Oh, right. When you wake up, you will also remember that you got an excellent massage from a server girl named Sonia, so you'll tip her well and give excellent reviews."

The last thing I saw was Sonia's beautiful face looking at me, those features reminding me too much of onii-sama.

And then I drifted off to sleep.

Part 6

I woke up feeling refreshed.

"Wah, I guess we fell asleep during the massage…"

Revi said, as he got up, bleary eyed.

"I guess Sonia left to serve other clients. That was a great massage. I'll be sure to tip her well."

"Don't forget to leave a good review."

We went back to the changing rooms and got dressed.

After getting dressed, I smiled at my dear Revi-kun.

"Hey, wanna holds hands while we walk back to the castle?"

He gave a charming smile, befitting of a prince.

"Sure, Iris-chan."

We happily held hands as we made our way to the castle.

In the castle, we saw Komekko-chan and Rori-san in the reception room. They both stared at us, more specifically, at our joined hands.

"T-The devil is confused! Why are you two holding hands?!"

Komekko-chan dropped the plate of cookies she was enjoying.

"...Even though I was machinating all sorts of ways to bring you two together, this is still an unforeseen development! I'm shocked!"

Rori-san, who was wearing one of the dresses I used to wear as a princess, was just as surprised as Komekko-chan.

"I don't see what's the big deal. We're just doing what couples do?"

"Well, I guess it's rude to show our affections publicly."

Revi-kun sighed and let go of my hand. I love how he's so considerate!

Komekko-chan backed away, her eyes spinning in disbelief.

"T-This can't be happening. The devil feels betrayed…!"

She ran away, almost knocking a servant over.

"Eh? What's wrong with her?"

I tilted my head, watching Komekko-chan run.

"Fufu… Maybe she had a little crush on me? It's understandable, seeing how awesome I am!"

"Uwa… I can see that happening. Revi-kun is such a handsome stud, after all. It wouldn't be that surprising! Haha!"

"OK, now I know something weird is going on! Let me see your eyes, you two!"

Rori-san examined our eyes closely, then she gasped in surprise.

"...I recognize that look! You two have been charmed!"

I looked at my beloved Revi-kun.

"Indeed… I've been charmed by Revi-kun's good looks!"

"And I've been charmed by Iris-chan's beauty…"

Rori-san blushed and smiled while watching us.

"Hehe… watching you two like this is great, but I can't have anyone hypnotizing my friends but me! Luckily, as a succubus, I know my way around charm spells. Go ahead and sit down, you two…"

…

…

After Rori-san snapped us out of our charmed states, I went to the closest bathroom and puked my brains out.

"Disgusting! I can't believe I did and said all those things!"

Meanwhile, Revi was screaming in frustration, but not for the reasons you'd expect.

"Damnit! If the charm lasted a bit longer, I would have been able to do naughty things with Iris! Why'd you have to end the charm so soon, Rori-san?!"

"Ara… Maybe I should have waited a bit longer? I would have liked to see a kiss or two."

"I definitely don't want that."

If it had come to that point, I really would have puked afterwards.

"Regardless of how unpleasant it is, at least now we have a vital clue about the thief's identity. And we also know where they're going to infiltrate the castle tonight."

Revi stroked his chin, thinking about what I said.

"We know she goes under the name 'Sonia' and works as a server girl in the bathhouse. Doesn't that mean that we should go there now and make an arrest?"

"We shouldn't risk tipping her off now that we have a chance to spring a trap on her. I think we should pretend like we're still under her spell, at least until she comes to meet us this evening."

"If I remember right, she told us to sleep in the same bed, didn't she? That means that tonight…?!"

"Don't get any weird ideas. We're only doing this to capture that thief."

My words weren't getting through to him at all. He already had a lewd smile on his face as he thought about all the perverted things he wanted to do to me.

"Should we inform Claire and the rest of your men about this?"

"Claire will never approve of letting me sleep in the same bed as a man. And the more people know about this, the more chances there are that information will slip to Sonia. She was able to stay in the capital undetected, even though we have spies everywhere. Who knows if she has informants within the castle, too."

"So you're basically saying that Belzerg regularly spies on its own citizens? How barbaric."

"Coming from someone whose country's entire culture revolves around gambling? That's rich."

"The keyword here is 'rich'."

Rori-san sighed as she watched us bicker.

"Maybe I really should have let the hypnotism last a bit longer… only so you two would take a break from fighting…"

Eventually, Komekko-chan came back and we explained the situation to her.

She seemed incredibly relieved, for some reason.

Part 7

That night, after dinner, I found myself in my childhood bedroom with Revi.

I was brushing my hair in front of my bedside mirror. Revi was watching me intently while sitting on the bed.

"Is watching me brush my hair really that entertaining?"

I asked, while looking at him with half-lidded eyes.

"It's kind of naughty isn't it? It's like I'm peeping into my female childhood friend's window and watching her grooming routine before she goes to bed. Damn, that's hot."

He got turned on from his own delusional fantasy.

"Oh, is that so? Maybe I should call Claire here right now to get rid of the creep watching me brush my hair?"

"Eep?! Anything but that?! I'll be executed, you know?!"

I thought that he took my threat seriously, until, a few minutes later, I saw him get up and head to a drawer.

"Oi, don't open that."

He didn't listen and started going through the drawer.

"...! Wait, this is your panty drawer, isn't it?!"

"I told you not to open it, you perv!"

I blushed as he sifted through all the kiddie panties I used to wear.

"Oh, come on, loosen up. It's just some pieces of fabric, right? You shouldn't freak out about them. And it's not like you've worn them in a while."

He stretched and tugged on the panties, feeling them up.

"If that's really true, then how would you feel if I went to your place and started going through the underwear you wore as a kid?"

"Hah? Are you stupid? I'd pay you to do that. God, that's hot. I'm imagining the scenario right now. See, this is the problem with you girls. The things you take for granted are unimaginable treasures for us men. You'll never understand! Never!"

"Geez, you don't need to cry over it! Fine, play with my panties if you want!"

"Really?! Iris-sama, thank you! Ah… Sometimes I'm reminded of why I had such a big crush on you back then…"

How can he say something like that so casually?

I don't know if he's a natural playboy, or if he's just dense.

"The fact that you can say that means you've gotten over my crush for a long time now, huh? Otherwise you wouldn't be able to admit it that easily."

He raised an eyebrow and looked at me, fiddling with my panties all the while.

"Who says I'm over you? I'm pretty sure I mentioned this a lot of times before, but if you told me right now that you felt the same way about me, I'll push you down on that bed of yours right this moment, you know?"

My heart skipped a beat as soon as those words left his mouth.

It was such a shocking statement that any kind of response I came up with couldn't quite form into a coherent sentence.

I hadn't felt this way since I confessed to onii-sama.

"You idiot. You keep saying these stupid things."

He shrugged and set the panties down.

"Us guys are simple creatures. If we like you and you tell us you like us back, that's all it'll take to get our interest. Unless we're dating someone of course… But I'm single, you know. As much as I hate to admit it…"

That comment made me think about that long-haired Crimson Demon girl I saw Revi going around the city with.

I still didn't know if they were really dating or not, but that girl seemed plenty interested in him. And the looks he gave her didn't seem all that platonic, either.

"...You're a pretty bad liar. You wanna form a harem that bad, huh? Well, unfortunately for you, I'm not that easy."

My heartbeat finally calmed down and I was able to breathe properly again. Shame on me for getting that excited over one of Revi's usual pranks.

Revi shrugged when I came to bed and slid under the sheets, getting myself ready to fake-sleep. Revi played with my panty some more, seeming to favor the white ones, and then shoved them in his pajama pockets.

He joined me on the bed, immediately trying to cuddle up to me, but I shoved him off.

"Tch… You're no fun. Even though this is our chance to fool around a little…"

"I told you I'm not that easy. What makes you think I'll fool around with you?"

"But you were about to go all the way with Makemake. Doesn't that mean that you're at least a little curious? I mean, come on, you're willing to do it with that creep but not me? And again… We have temporary bodies right now. It's the perfect time to experiment…"

He made my heart skip again. This better not become a regular thing.

"...Shut up about all that and let's just focus on the mission."

"Hm? But our goal here is to convince Sonia that we're proper lovers, aren't we? We wouldn't want her to think something's wrong."

This shitty brat only showed his intelligence when it came to situations like this.

I couldn't come up with a good excuse to reject him.

Instead of looking for a good reason to say no, all I could come up with were excuses.

I had my needs and he clearly had his as well. We were two teens laying on a bed together.

In terms of morality or whatever else, we weren't doing anything wrong.

We'd known each other for a long time, and we were the prince and princess of two allied countries.

Really, there was nothing holding me back from doing this.

I didn't even feel bad at all for 'stealing' Revi from that unknown long-haired Crimson Demon girl. I didn't even know her name.

"...Fine."

"What? Seriously?"

I nodded, glancing away.

"Just a bit, OK? We're not going all the way just yet."

"You said yet, so… Does that mean in the future…?!"

"...If you behave right now and can show me that you can act like a real gentleman, then I might be more open to the idea."

"G-Got it. I can do that. I can act like a gentleman."

He said, even though he still had my kiddie panties in his pocket.

"So… As a gentleman, I must ask what exactly is the extent and limit of what I can do right now."

"I don't know… I guess kissing… hugging… maybe a bit of touching…?"

"Kissing, hugging and touching?!"

He stiffened up, eyes spinning as he let it sink in.

"...Don't tell me you're chickening out now. You know what? Forget it, this is really weird…"

I was about to turn away, when I felt his hands on my cheeks.

And then I felt his lips on mine.

My kissing experience was only limited to that surprise kiss from Rori-san.

Her lips were much softer, not like Revi had chapped lips or anything, but there was this sense of roughness to them. Well, he's a guy, after all.

Somehow, that rough quality made it feel better than kissing a girl. I felt a thrill, a sense of alertness, being kissed by him.

He drew back, avoiding my gaze. I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw his face.

"Did it really feel that good? You're red all over."

"Y-You're blushing, too!"

"Yeah, but you look even more…"

My sentence got cut off as he went for another kiss.

Ah, damnit.

My inhibitions were slowly melting away the more we kissed, taking only short breathing breaks in between.

I felt his hands around my shoulders, drawing me closer, deepening the kiss. My erratic heartbeat calmed down to a steady, sharp rhythm, more like a jutting against my ribcage than a loud thumping I could feel all the way to the tips of my ears.

His hands somehow ended up on my ass, and I didn't even want to push them away. He accepted my consent and traced his hands around them, feeling their shape.

This isn't good. I won't be able to hold back at this rate. I'll end up crossing the line if something doesn't happen. Do I even want to stop it from happening?

The kiss deepened, his hands got braver, and I was one more push away from giving my first time to him.

And that was when the window opened.

Sonia came in, wearing a skin-tight bodysuit. She had a mask covering half of her face, but I recognized her distinctive black hair. She had a belt around her waist that carried some daggers, a rope and other tools.

"...Seems you lovers are getting into it. I almost hate to interrupt."

Yeah, you really shouldn't have interrupted!

No, wait, I should be thankful she did. I would have done something I would never be able to take back if she arrived any later.

Revi looked absolutely devastated that his fun time got cut short. It took all of his willpower to draw away from me.

"Sonia-sama! Please give us your orders!"

He rolled away from the bed and gave Sonia a salute.

His lower half was giving him a salute, too.

I couldn't help but get a bit annoyed when Sonia totally looked down to check him out for a solid ten seconds.

"Excellent. You two are going to help me steal Calibur. You should know where the treasure room is, right, princess?"

"Yes, Sonia-sama. I'll lead you to the treasure room personally."

"Good, good. This approach is efficient, but it really saps all the fun away from raiding a castle. As a thief, it hurts my pride to rely on such indirect methods…"

I almost wanted to say that any method a thief uses is indirect, regardless. They don't exactly play fair.

"Oh, well. Go ahead and lead the way, princess."

I nodded, getting up from the bed. I saw myself in the mirror and held back from letting out a gasp. My face was still scarlet red, and something about it just screams 'I was making out recently'. It's a good thing I didn't tell Claire about this plan, or she'd see me in this state as soon as I stepped out the door, then she'd attack Revi instead of the intruder.

Part 8

We left the room and I led the way to the place where we planned to ambush Sonia. Komekko-chan and Rorisa-san were already waiting there for us. We shouldn't need reinforcements to capture one person, but if it came down to it, we could always call for reinforcements. We chose a place that was accessible for guards to come in, should we need their help.

Of course, this place was far from where the treasure room actually was.

I'd soon find out, however, that this would prove to be a vital mistake.

Sonia stopped walking, causing Revi and I to pause.

We both looked at each other, hiding our worry. Sonia was looking at the both of us suspiciously.

Does she suspect us, after all?

M-Maybe we should have gone all the way to prove we were a real couple?!

"It's strange. I know that you two should still be charmed, but my [Detect Enemy] is warning me about two hostiles just ahead. I'm also using my [Detect Treasure], but I don't sense anything of value beyond this place."

I had forgotten how resourceful those who belonged in the Thief class truly were. Senpai was one example, but onii-sama also used skills from the Thief class to their fullest effect. I shouldn't have underestimated Sonia.

We had two options. Try and bluff our way out of this, or attack while we still have the advantage.

I didn't feel confident trying to bluff a master thief.

"Komekko-chan, Rori-san! Plan B!"

Our backup came out of the shadows. Komekko-chan had Revi's crossbow in hand, and Rori-san had my sword. They tossed the weapons our way, then launched a coordinated attack on Sonia.

"[Fireball]!"

Komekko-chan was the first to strike. She conjured a fiery ball of death and threw it at Sonia's feet.

The resulting explosion of fire should have severely injured Sonia, but…

"[Evasion]!"

In a stunning display of athleticism, Sonia leapt up with an inhuman vertical leap, evading the radius of the fireball.

She then took out a vial from her pocket and threw it on the ground. The vial shattered and released a chilly gust of wind. The flames on the ground were extinguished by the magical solution.

"[Blind]!"

Unfazed by Komekko-chan's failed attack, Rori-san released a dark orb from her hand that hit Sonia's eyes. The attack didn't do any damage, but it was a skill that could take away one's sight for a brief period of time.

"[Snipe]!"

Revi followed the plan perfectly and released a bolt from his crossbow, shooting while Sonia couldn't see.

"[Blindsight]!"

A sonic pulse rippled away from Sonia's head. I felt a tingling sensation as it watched over me.

"[Evasion]!"

She moved her head away just in time to dodge the bolt.

At the same time Revi took his shot, I was already moving towards her, sword ready to strike.

"[Bind]!"

She took out the rope on her belt and quickly flicked it towards me.

"Ngh!"

I fell as the rope tied itself around my torso and limbs. I dropped the sword as I fell face first.

Just like that, she easily dismantled our coordinated attack.

We stared at her in shock. I couldn't help but feel some admiration.

She fought just like onii-sama back then, when he infiltrated the castle.

Revi was the first to get over his shock. He took aim with his crossbow again.

"[Steal]!"

"N-No way…!"

Revi fell to his knees in shock, having had his crossbow taken away from him.

No, wait.

When I looked closer, the crossbow was still in his hands.

"..."

Sonia stared at the item she stole from Revi using onii-sama's signature skill. It was my panties that he stuffed in his pockets earlier.

"...There's no point in fighting anymore."

That bastard lost all his fighting spirit once his treasure was taken away from him.

We had caused enough noise to alert the guards. They came running towards us, with Rain at the front.

Rain saw me tied up and raised her staff.

"[Water Bullet]!"

"[Skill-Lock]!"

The mana dispersed from the manatite orb in Rain's staff as Sonia prevented the spell from manifesting.

"Oi, I wouldn't make any sudden movements if I were you."

Sonia picked up the sword I dropped and pointed it to my head. She planted a foot on my back before I could try to worm my way out.

"Now, unless you want me to decapitate your precious princess, I suggest you lead me to the treasure room now."

This isn't good.

"How did this happen…"

"Well… It's a long story."

Claire had arrived for the negotiations with Sonia. She looked stressed-out, not like I could blame her.

My torso was still tied up, but Sonia freed my legs. Not like that would do me much good, since she also had a poison-laced knife held against my throat.

Sonia's demands were simple. The Holy sword Calibur in exchange for my life.

The fact that her demand was a no-brainer on our part was the most difficult part of it all.

Losing a treasure like Calibur would be horrible for us, but losing the country's Princess to a hostage situation was just unthinkable.

It wasn't like Sonia asked for the execution of the prince and the king. I'm not saying that her demand was reasonable, or anything, but considering the worst case scenario, those in charge of the negotiation could only sigh in relief that she only wanted a sword.

I really wished that this whole operation of Sonia's was just the whim of a treasure-seeking thief, but I couldn't help but think that I was missing something important, hidden behind a veil obscuring my memories.

"Fufu… I'm glad that we could settle this peacefully without anyone getting hurt."

Sonia said, after Claire had guards deliver her the sword.

I looked at Calibur, the sword I used during my childhood. I had very good memories with that sword, mostly revolving around my adventurers in Elroad with onii-sama.

I became known as the 'Dragon Slayer' when I subjugated that Golden Dragon. That was what made Revi start crushing on me in the first place.

I had to watch Sonia take it away. The fact that she reminded me of how onii-sama fought didn't exactly make the process feel better.

After receiving the sword, as agreed upon, Sonia took the knife away from me and pushed me away.

"T-The devil will never forget this shameful defeat! You'll taste my full power next time, you thief! The devil admits that you were pretty cool, though!"

Komekko-chan couldn't help but express her admiration. As expected of a Crimson Demon.

"Sniff… You stole a very important treasure… I'll never forgive you!"

Which treasure are you talking about, Revi?

"Fufun… Fear not. I feel like this won't be the last time we'll meet. We shall settle matters next time. You four can try to gang up on me again."

"I-I went easy on you! I'll use my nastier illusions next time!"

This time, even the mild-mannered Rori-san couldn't help but express her frustrations.

Sonia chuckled and gave us a salute, along with a playful wink.

Then, she threw a smoke bomb on the floor, making us cough until the smoke cleared.

Of course, by the time the smoke dispersed, she was already gone.