"Emma, you are so pathetic."
I blushed and lowered my head hearing the teasing tone in her voice. My hair cascaded over my breasts and she leaned forward, kissing them softly. I groaned, leaning my head back desperately wanting her to do more. Please, let's just have our way with each other right here in this beautiful kitchen. I'm fucking begging you.
Her nails trailed up my thigh at a painfully slow pace as her mouth sucked and nipped at my skin. My breathing was erratic, huffing and puffing in an embarrassing way like I had just run twenty miles without stopping. She bit hard on my nipple then soothed the pain over with her tongue. All I could do was arch my back and let a quiet, "fuck yes," slip through my lips. Her hand inched closer and closer to my pussy and she brushed my clit with her fingers over my underwear.
Lifting my suddenly heavy head I went to kiss her but she turned so I was unable to see her face. No, come on. Let me see that pretty face of yours. I reached forward to caress her cheek but then it was nothing but thin air…
Dipping under the water I flipped then pushed off the wall for my final lap. I've barely been able to shake that fucking dream all morning. I woke up with an intense throbbing going on in my clit and my body was all covered in sweat. My damp blonde hair was matted against my forehead and my body burned everywhere this woman had touched.
I yearned for her, ached for her touch.
I didn't see her face and I couldn't explain what her voice sounded like; all I know is that she made me feel something I've never felt before.
In the water I had no worries, no office work, no nagging mom, dipshit father, or irritating sister, no thoughts of Regina and my almost slip at Banshee-it was just myself and the heated water. I moved with robotic precision and organic fluidity, stroke after stroke nailed to perfection. After spending my high school years on the swim team it's nice to see that the techniques haven't failed me yet. The pool was my therapist. Sixty laps and I was stress free.
I popped out of the water before Jim, but impressively he wasn't too far behind me and came out the water laughing. Is this guy never not in a good mood.
"Don't you know you're supposed to let the boss win?" He asked a little out of breath. Wiping his hand over his face to clear the water then ran it through his hair but it still fell in front his green eyes.
"Why would I do that?" I pushed myself up on the ledge and sat down on the edge, letting my feet dangle in the water.
"Some people might say it's smart."
"And some people are stupid. Not to mention, why would you trust me if I let you win?"
"And she scores another point in the plus column." He teased, pushing himself out of the deep end to sit next to me. Ruffling his hands through his hair he returned his gaze back to me, smothering me with his eyes.
Something was on his mind, I just didn't know that, so I let a soft smile pull on my lips and said: "Besides, I don't like to lose."
"That makes two of us." Nudging his shoulder against mine, "Do you want to check out the steam room?"
"Would love to."
We stood, grabbing some towels and headed inside the humidity. As if New York wasn't humid enough in the summertime. And yea it's not yet summer, but that's not the point. Jim and I took our spots beside each other, and I leaned back to rest my shoulders against the stone wall. Someone cleared their throat and I let my eyelids drift back open, spotting an attractive woman who was sitting on the opposite side of us. She sent me a crooked smile, batting her eyelashes, and the towel that was cover up her chest dropped a tad so I could see her cleavage.
Oh my…well she's certainly not shy.
"I like you, Swan." Jim suddenly said, interrupting my eye fucking with the steam room chick. His voice vibrated with excitement that I got used to whenever he either had good news or was just in a good mood.
I scrunched up my face at him, "Uh, thanks. You too, Jim." Not making an effort to hide my sarcasm.
"You know what my plans are after I get elected?"
"Bail on all your campaign promises, embezzle from the city payroll, and then hide out in Switzerland?"
He laughed loudly and I winced then cringed at the volume at which he chose in the small ass room, "I plan on introducing you to every fat cat who's been backing my campaign."
Fat cat? Where are we? 1940's Philadelphia in some mob trying to take down a big corporation? "Well I certainly hope so. Why the fuck else do you think we're doing this for you?"
"I also like your style; straightforward. No bullshit. You've really got some chops, kid." I didn't know how to respond to that comment so I didn't. I just let his words hang in the air and focused my attention back on the woman in front of me. "That's why I'm going to tell you something I've never told a living soul, except my wife." Okay. Now you've got my attention. "I'm scared shitless."
"Of losing?"
"Of winning." He blatantly stated. I don't get surprised very often but this did raise my eyebrows. After all, the only thing we've been working towards is winning election. "I'm just a cop. My dad was a cop. My brothers are cops. When I was promoted to sergeant I thought 'This is it. I've made it'. I've never expected anything more." He sighed heavily, letting his eyes fall off me and to the floor, beading with sweat. "And now I may be running an entire city. People are going to be counting on me to come through for them. I just…I question whether or not I have the goods."
The lines in his forehead deepened as he clenched his teeth down, protruding the muscles in his jaw. For the first time I saw genuine worry. But it's now or never. He can't stay in whatever cocoon he's built for himself.
"That's never stopped a politician before. Besides, everyone has doubts."
"Even you?" Jim turned his head towards me, keep an intense gaze on my face.
"Sometimes." I answered honestly. Mostly regarding whether or not your wife is having some not so straight thoughts about me, but…I won't go there.
"Hm. I always thought you were one of those golden people, never lost a minute's sleep wondering if you could pull it off."
"Oh I can always pull it off." I responded, smiling widely before patting his thigh quickly then brought my hand back to my lap. "And so can you." The woman that I was eyeing stood and glided towards the door, tossing me a quick look over her shoulder and I already know what she wants. "Now, if you'll excuse me." I turned my attention back to Jim as I stood, "I just remembered that something came up for me."
I waited in the long ass line, once again behind boot lady who seemed to remember me. And I only say that because of the nasty look I received when she recognized me. Plus I think I am wearing the exact same outfit the first time Regina and I were here getting food, even down to the shoes. She probably thinks this is the only outfit I own.
Breathing in the smell of jerk chicken my stomach growled loudly. Unfortunately I didn't eat anything, besides pussy, after my swim and I really worked up an appetite fucking that woman in the shower. God she was just what the doctor ordered.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and with a smile spreading across my face I happily answered it, "How is the baby Greek god doing?"
Eliot's laugh rang through the line, though hesitant. Something was wrong, "He is great. Thank God after the other night."
"Well that's the way it goes-Monday life and death; today coffee and laughter." I said with a bit of sarcasm and a little annoyed that this woman in front of me was taking forever, damnit will this Boot Lady hurry the fuck up.
"It's a mix. But it does help us realize how important it is to be prepared."
"For what?"
"For people like that nurse."
I nodded my head even though he couldn't see it and tucked the phone between shoulder and ear as I used my hands to get my wallet out of my pocket, "Yea. She was a real bitch." But there's something else, "What are you getting at?"
"Well it's something we've been talking about since before Atlas was born but never got around to do it. Besides, with all the appointments and with us moving, plus trying to get our son-"
"Just spit it out Eliot." I deadpanned, knowing that if I didn't cut him off now he'd be rambling on for-fucking-ever.
"Theo would like to apply for second parent adoption…"
"Okay…? Meaning what?"
"Meaning he wants to petition to be Atlas' legal guardian. But, he can't get the process started unless you give up your parental rights." I didn't respond right away, still processing the information, "You'll still be his mother, of course, and you'll always be a part of his life the same way we are and will always be apart of each other's." Boot Lady finally stepped out of the way, leaving me to stare expectantly at the cashier, "I would never-"
"You don't need to convince me El. Just email the papers to me and tell me where to sign."
"Wait…you're actually saying yes?"
"He'll be better off. Let me know when you've sent them. I gotta go."
I hung up, not waiting to hear his much thanks and whatever else they were going to butter me up with. This is probably for the best right? I'm not good for Atlas anyway, he's got two wonderful parents in his life that will love him, care for him, and teach him respect. The only thing I'll be able teach him is what party drugs to not mix and maybe how to dance.
Stepping up to the window something told me to count my cash to make sure I had enough for my order. What the hell? Where did that other ten go? I looked around my feet but came up empty and sadly this place is cash only. Turning around to the person behind me, I waved them forward as I begrudgingly stepped out of line to search from the money and quickly collided into someone.
I heard a small yelp as I stumbled back from the collision. My body vibrated with intensity and a pleasant tingle danced across the surface of my skin. I didn't even have to look to know who it was.
Well, this is a wild coincidence.
"Shit. I'm sorry Mrs. Vanguard." What the…why did I say her name all proper and shit? I wondered if Regina thought the same thing because the look she gave was confused to say the least.
"Heyyyy…" She drawled, her face turning red from the blush, which was even weirder than me saying Mrs. before her last name.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you." I reached down to pick up a phone and some papers with drawings of…holy shit…is that different body parts of women? Naked? "I was looking for a ten that I think I dropped on the floor." Before I could really look at the charcoal figures they were snatched out of my hands, brushing the tips of her fingers against mine. The familiar and pleasant buzz snaked under my skin whenever we physically came into contact with one another. Regina tucked the drawings underneath her armpit and softly shook her hand as if she hurt it when I ran into her.
"It's fine. I'm okay. It was a harmless mistake." She said then attempted to give a light-hearted laugh but I think I may have hurt her more than she's leading me to believe. We stared at each other in awkward silence, my mind was on those drawings. "So, uh, is this the only place you eat at, or…?" Regina asked, sliding her phone in her back pocket, smirking.
"No, but the office is right around the corner, as you know."
"Right," she nodded then took a step backwards. I feel like she's being weird. Why is she being weird? "Well, I'm on my lunch too. Since we're lunching at the same time maybe it was meant for us to, uh…lunch together."
I shook my head, letting a laugh slip through my lips, noticing the red tint spread across her cheeks again. I glanced at the shrinking line then shrugged my shoulders, "Sure. Let's lunch together."
With a smile on her face she reached into her purse hanging off her shoulder and pulled out a black wallet with some label on the fold, holding a crisp ten in between her fingers, "Here ya, go." Taking it, our fingers brushed once more causing my skin to heat up. She nodded to the space behind me and I noticed the line had moved. I stepped backwards keeping my attention completely on her. "Nice to see you're not too hung over." She continued, laughing somewhat hesitantly.
"What?"
"Babylon." Regina simply clarified. Oh. I scrunched my eyebrows confused because that was a couple nights ago.
"If I was still high there'd be an issue." I joked earning a soft smile from her.
"What were you on anyway?"
"Some Lady Mescaline." Her eyebrows as she bit her lip, like she was mulling a thought over, "You know you're always welcome to try some, if you'd like."
She gazed at me for what felt like forever, once again nodding towards the space behind me. I stepped back and hit a wall. Oh. Turning around the cashier had a perplexed look on her face, "Jerk Chicken Wrap." Before I could look over my shoulder, I felt a warm hand on my back and with a surprising move, Regina leaned right over my shoulder, lips close to my ear.
"Two." Her whisper so low and sultry.
"Two." I hurriedly said.
The cashier nodded then stepped away from the counter. Whether or not she's into women she has to know what the fuck she's doing. And if she does, then it's on purpose. "Here ya go ma'am. Two Jerk Chicken Wraps." Well, that was fast. I handed him the money after he gave me the total, telling him to keep the change. We stepped off to the side and I handed her one.
"Thanks Regina. I'll pay you back."
"No, no. This is technically your second time buying me lunch. It's the least I can do." She winked playfully and strolled past me. Slowly, I walked a step behind her as I balanced my wrap in one hand and my phone in the other. A notification from Eliot popped up and I did my best to unlock the screen so I could read it.
New Message: This has to be done in person. Can you come now?
Shit.
"Everything okay?"
Glancing up from my phone Regina was in the process of taking a bite of her wrap as she gazed curiously at me, "Kinda. Yea." Slipping my phone in my pocket I caught up with, now able to enjoy my own food.
"Kinda. Yea?" She teased, chuckling lowly at the end. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Eh, it's just I have to sign some papers for this second parent adoption Eliot asked me to do."
She paused in her tracks, forcing me to slow down with her. Eyelids narrowed and that cute little 'v' in between her eyebrows appeared, "What? But you're Atlas's mother." Seems like she knows a little about this subject.
"And I'm teaching him an important lesson: Don't count on your old lady. Not everyone is fit to be a mother." I felt eyes rake over my profile as I took another bite into my wrap.
"So when he gets older and wonders why you didn't want him what will you say?" She asked, scowling at me. It was odd how endearing her anger was, like a furious kitten-soft and somewhat harmless.
"The truth. Two daddies wanted a kid real bad. So a doctor took my eggs and put them in the freezer until they were ready to be used." But the real truth was I'm a living nightmare, not fit to be a parent. Regina made an effort to control her anger but whatever expression she was trying to hold wasn't lasting and the frustration was cracking through each second.
"You know Emma, you amaze me. He's your son and you're acting like you don't give a shit."
"I do give a shit, which is why I'm doing this. They're the parents I-"
"Just make uncredited cameo appearances. Yea. I know. But you really should give yourself more than that. I've seen how you are when you're with him, it's like nobody else on Earth exists. And the way he looks at you-"
"You know…maybe I should've gotten the Garlic Fries with this. It feels like I'm missing something." I answered, trying very hard to steer the conversation off this subject. It would make sense that Regina would feel so strongly about this subject considering her own background, but she's not a part of this family.
"Would you listen to me!" she loudly commanded, stepping in front of me. With one hand she gripped my chin whipping my face to her bewildered expression. "Are you listening?"
"I don't have a choice." I coldly responded.
"You are not your father. You are not your mother. You love your son and in your own weird, subversive way you're not a bad parent. Now, what's it going to take for you to admit that?" Her words poured out like a torrent and when she was finally done she clenched her teeth together and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.
My heart sank as I stared at her; my expression derisive but what I really felt was awe. She has a way of seeing everything and the shock of it ruined my carefully designed expression.
"I prefer to think of myself as an anti-mom." I answered, my voice close to laughter. You can always trust me to find the joke in the destruction of everyday life. And sometimes it worked, like now, when Regina let out a small chuckle that cracked some of the tension building between us. My phone vibrated continuously in my pocket and with a sigh I pulled it out.
"Yea, I got Eliot's text." I answered, looking at Regina as I mouthed a 'sorry'. She nodded and proceeded to eat her lunch.
"Okay, well can you come and do it now?" Theo asked, his tone was rushed, impatient.
"Well I wanted to enjoy my lunch." I smiled broadly when his annoyed huff reached my ears as my eyes fell to the papers clutched underneath her armpit. "I'll come by tonight, when I have the time."
"Emma, I would like you to make this a priority."
"And I will, when I have the time. But right now," I locked eyes with those earthy big brown ones, "I have something more important to do."
Regina's neck all the way up to her cheeks turned a deep crimson red and she slowly tucked some rogue brown strands behind her ear as she looked away from me. An image of my dream replayed over and over again in my brain. Shit. Was she the one plaguing my sleeping thoughts? For fuck sakes I hope not.
I hung up as Theo rambled about something to the effect of "is getting your clit sucked more important than your son" but I was too focused on her reaction to care about the rest of it.
"Something more important to do, huh?" She asked giving me a knowing smile. I returned it as I put away my phone and stepped closely. Leaning forward slowly I watched the pulse point in her neck from my face inching closer to hers.
"Yup." I popped the p and when my lips were only inches from her I glanced at her moist ones, watching her tongue pointlessly swipe over them, "Lunch." I said, bringing the wrap to my mouth and taking a huge bite. My loud laugh only deepened her blush and she turned away from me, crossing her arms she began to walk away from me. "Aww…don't be like that. Plus my swim with Jim this morning has my legs feeling so sore."
I jogged to catch up with her, wincing slightly.
"Oh, yea. I forgot you two spent time together."
Raising an eyebrow I stared at her, watching those eyelids close and her shoulders curve inwardly, almost defensively, "Everything okay with you two?" I asked, kicking myself as soon as I did. I tried my hardest not get involved with couple disputes. Especially ones that involve clients.
"Oh yea. We're fine."
"Bullshit." My response pulled her from her reverie as her eyes slowly opened.
"Excuse me?" There was an edge to her voice and Regina narrowed her lids at me but didn't look away.
"I mean, we're friends, right? Friends tell each other what's wrong, don't they?"
Tilting her head forward she let her brown locks cover her face, seemingly hiding behind her hair, "We're fine. He's just been stressed about the election and we haven't been spending a lot of time together. Today we had planned to go to the movies but he canceled on me. Again. And the sex has been…" Oooh, Regina and sex. Please speak slowly and enunciate every single letter from here on out. "The sex has been rushed, almost like he's angry, but not with me and I mean, yea, it feels good but I haven't actually had an orgasm. I almost forgot what they felt like." I bit my lip as I thought about her naked body, lying in my bed underneath the neon blue lights, begging me stop because she couldn't handle the fourth, fifth, or sixth orgasm. How could Jim not bother to take his wife's sexual needs into account, "I'm sorry for emotionally vomiting all over you. I know you have a sort of nihilist approach to relationships. I'm sure this all sounds stupid to you. Melodramatic marriage crap."
God. Unsure Regina is so cute.
"Actually…no." I shook my head and leaned into her shoulder, "I care about what goes on in your life, Regina." My own words surprised me especially the seriousness at which I spoke. "Now, you still have that extra movie ticket?"
I saw the theater ahead surrounded by its unnecessary bright picture of the latest movie. Suddenly I felt very nervous. I would be sitting in a dark room with my beautiful client next to me. What if she gets scared. Would she hold onto me? Would that be appropriate? Since she technically got the tickets should I pay for the food?
I parked the car tightly among the others surrounding us and then reached into the backseat really seeing what Regina was wearing. She was in a low-cut blouse with spaghetti straps and skinny black jeans, and with the wind going on tonight one thing was certain. She would get cold. Pulling myself back to the front seat I handed her a huge gray pull over hoodie, but all Regina did was stare at me like I had twelve heads.
"Just take it. It's cold outside." I commanded with a stern tone and matching look then got out of the car smoothly, despite my heels. Once she stepped a very visible shiver hit her body, "See?" I asked, feeling the victory wash over me.
"Yeah, yeah, thank you." She reluctantly grumbled, making my smile grow wider. "But wait, what about your jacket?"
"I'm fine. I'd rather you be warm than me."
Her cheeks flushed and she smiled, bowing her head but I still caught her cheesy grin. She glanced at me while we walked closely together to the theater and gripped the inside of my arm with her fingers before resting her head on my shoulder.
"I can't have you freeze to death. How else will I get home?" Regina teased, winked playfully and smiled, making my breath catch in my chest.
A giddy buzz rolled through my body and with a goofy grin spreading across my face I let her pull me into the theater. We kept up idle chat as she got us drinks, popcorn, and two soft pretzels. The movie was going to be about two and a half hours long and considering I barely ate lunch I knew I was going to be hungry. Promptly I killed my pretzel before we even had a chance to pay for it. I insisted on paying but she wasn't budging. We finally got settled in our seats which were in the very back and even after I looked at the title of the film on the ticket I still wasn't sure what the movie was about but I hoped that it wasn't some cheesy rom-com.
Finally she relented and told me that it was a psychological thriller. Hopefully it was actually scary and if it was then a tiny part of me prayed that she would at some point during the movie latch onto my arm if she got spooked enough. And once we had officially got situated things were looking good. Regina leaned towards me and put her arm on our shared armrest. I stayed in my position, which was in the middle of my seat with my hands clasped on my lap and my feet crossed on top of the seat in front of me. The smell of her perfume was too much and knowing that I was only inches from touching her.
During some parts Regina would inch closer and whisper something about the movie, whether it be that some of the actors weren't believable, or that certain information was incorrect, or to tell me who she thought was cute and every time my body tensed. I would nod or hum and pretend I was listening when all I could really focus on was how close her lips were to mine. The thing that impressed me the most was her ability to predict everything that was going to happen in the movie. In the first ten minutes she already knew who the Big Bad was, the next twenty minutes she knew who was going to fall in love with who and how they would confess their love. In thirty minutes she recognized a familiar theme throughout the movie and remarked on how that would it possibly tie into the ending.
Normally I'd want to sew someone's mouth shut if they wouldn't shut up during a movie but with Regina I was longing for her to whisper in my ear again, counting down the seconds until I could hear her pleasant voice give me the shot of desire that I needed. Not only did my body call for her but so did my mind and as I gazed at her, watching her big brown eyes intently dance across the screen I wondered if this all meant something.
A light shot of electricity snaked across my skin and I looked at her to see her face contorted in fear as her hand clutched my forearm. I smiled and finally turned my attention to the screen, seeing a young girl walk around an abandoned house with suspenseful music playing in the background and then it panned to an open door accompanied by the sound going out. Silences never lasted long in movies, merely tools to heighten the drama and long enough to peak the fear. In this case it was working on Regina. The next moment was maximum intensity: loud, fast, bright, and shocking.
I let my eyes fall back on her, focusing on her facial expressions watching her eyes grow wider when a loud scream ripped through the theater and she quickly turned to hide her face in my shoulder. Once the music changed and scene calmed down brown eyes looked up at me in mock anger.
"I can feel you watching me. Stop making fun of me." She whispered and I could feel her breath graze my lips.
Fuck. Keep it together.
"Why did you pick this movie if you get scared so easily?"
"I didn't pick it, Jim did and he bought the tickets ahead of time. Besides I love psychological thrillers but that doesn't mean they don't terrify me."
The sound of Jim's name fanned the flames of my jealousy towards him and I my body immediately went rigid. Regina must've sensed my mood change because she quickly let go of my arm and straightened up in her seat. I sighed annoyed with myself in my ability to fuck everything up but when another loud boom of suspenseful music ran through the theater she was right back where she belonged; clinging to my arm and resting her head on my shoulder. I didn't object and just sat there, smiling to myself.
"That was a terrible movie." Regina said on the car ride back to her place. I just shook my head as I messed with the knob on my stereo to try and find something good on the radio.
"How would you know? You were tucked in my armpit the entire time." I teased, laughing again feeling the sting in my cheeks from my muscles working overtime each time they formed a smile. Regina shot me glare making me laugh even harder. "I'm sorry but you were funny."
"Just you wait. You'll get scared during a movie and then it'll be my turn to make fun of you." She quickly retorted as I glanced in the side mirror then looked over my shoulder as I effortlessly switched lanes. Once I was focused on the road in front of us, I couldn't help but feel excited at the proposition for another hang out at the theater.
We stayed in comfortable silence as I flew past the cars that were driving too slow on the rare open road and Regina fidgeted with her drawings like she was attempting to straighten out the papers.
"How long have you been drawing?" I asked. My question apparently surprised her because she jumped slightly. Clearly she was deep in her own world.
"My mom put a crayon in my hand when I was still in my crib, and I never stopped."
"They're really good." I remarked, seeing Regina shoot her gaze to me and stare at my profile. "I saw some of them when I bumped into you. You have an amazing feel for the female form." It was meant to be a compliment but she was quiet for a minute and when her eyes were off me I darted mine to her face, she seemed nervous about something but I didn't know what.
"Thanks. I usually do a lot of male and masculine erotic art, but I recently started on the feminine body. I'm actually hosting a fundraiser in the Art District this weekend. My studio is raising money for that young boy that was found in the dumpster."
"For the funeral?"
"Yea. I mean, how could somebody do that to another human life. It's disgusting and cruel." The more I hung out with Regina the more I see who she is.
"Well if nothing else it should give you a nice bump in the polls." I muttered, but it wasn't quiet enough. Regina's gaze hardened and if looks could kill she would need to take over the wheel because I'd be keeled over in my seat.
"I'm not doing this for a bump in the polls. I could care less about that!" she spat out, quite harshly, "Jim doesn't even want me to do it. Thinks it'll hurt his image."
"What if it does?"
"And?"
I slowed down to a red light and shifted my gaze to Regina's. Her eyes narrowed and she took a deep breath. She was angry, but not quite with me it seemed and there was a little bit of relief in knowing that. We stared at each other with inappropriate intensity and even in the dark it was as if I could see my own face reflected in her liquid brown pools.
Regina is beautiful. She's brave. She doesn't do what everyone else thinks she should, she does what is right.
"Jim would rather me lie about why I'm doing this. He would rather us hide behind some fake bullshit than step up and be there for our community. And in all of this I still question whether or not I'm doing the right thing." Her voice tried to remain somewhat cheery but I could detect a hint of frustration.
The green light reflected off her face and I had to force myself to look away and keep driving, "I thought he was just dick and now I see he's a pussy too." I said, somewhat seriously.
I light chuckle filled the car and I smiled, feeling triumphant that my joke not only landed but made her laugh too, "And what does that make you? The woman behind the pussy?"
"Oh Regina…" I slid my confident gaze to her letting a crooked grin pull the corner of my mouth up, "I'm always behind the pussy."
The tension between us tightened as I maneuvered around cars, finally turning down her street. Her heated gaze never left my face and I my mind ran with possibilities of what she could be thinking. I almost asked her but decided to go the caring friend route instead.
"Are you okay? You got quiet on me."
She was silent for a beat then I saw the nod out of the corner of my eye, "Yea I'm just so…tired. I have all these other things to deal with, you know?" A small sigh fell through her lips before she sat up straight and gathered things, realizing how close we were to her place, "Other things to deal with…" she mumbled, mostly to herself.
My grip tightened around the steering wheel as I thought about the other things, probably regarding Jim and his bullshit. I wish I was bitten by a radioactive spider or dunked in some acid that would give me the power to read people's minds. As I parked in front of her building I took a deep sigh then looked at Regina, letting my head lazily plop against the headrest of my seat.
"Well I hope today made you feel a little less stressed."
"Yea. Thanks Emma. For everything." She bit her lip and we stared at each other for a moment. Come on radioactive spider. Bite me or whatever it is you do. Regina gathered her things and tossed open the door and I followed, jogging around to other side and helped her out. "Thank you. Oh, wait…" Slipping her phone in her back pocket she went to take the sweater off but I grabbed her wrist. Freezing her movements.
"No, you keep it. It looks awful on me anyway." Plus it makes me so wet to see you in my clothes.
"I doubt that. Everything looks good on you." She complimented without so much as a breath in between.
I hoped that my hair would hide my smile and the blush that I felt burn my face. We walked to the door and the bellman was there to greet us.
"Ms. Mills." He said, bowing lowly. Wait…Mills? I pocketed the question for another time, knowing she was tired and wanted to get to bed. Turning around she pulled me in for a hug and placed her chin on my shoulder.
"The fundraiser is Saturday. Please come." She whispered against my ear and I know there was no way she missed the shudder that rippled through my body. After we pulled apart, I slid my hands in my pockets and walked down the few steps, not responding to her request. Halfway down I could still feel her watching me.
"Hey Regina." I called as I idled by the driver side door. "If the only truth that Jim can accept is his own then it's not lying if that's your only option. It's tougher to break out on your own than do what's expected of you. You're doing the right thing with this event."
Regina showed off her white teeth in a perfect smile, sending me a short nod. I slipped in the car and watched her head inside the building, pulling on the collar of the sweatshirt as if it suddenly felt too tight around her body.
Starting the car I headed towards Eliot and Theo's place which was maybe only ten minutes from here, sending them a quick voice in our group chat but mentally I was still with Regina. Trying to analyze my feelings for her and the strange ways her persistence has managed to get under my skin. Only it's not in an annoying way. I liked it, and if I'm honest for those times she's not around, I wouldn't particularly mind it if she were.
As I crept closer and closer to their house I hoped that they would be asleep. Sadly when I pulled in front of the townhome I saw the lights on and sighed. The front door had opened before I had even gotten out of the car and I rolled my eyes seeing Theo wave me inside. Upon walking the living room I spotted a legal sized document laying on their coffee table, beside it a pen. Atlas was sitting in his rocker, just staring at me.
Shaking off the second thoughts I was having I plopped down on the couch, clicked the pen and went to sign where the 'x' was, but when I tried no ink came out.
"I need another pen."
"I got it." Eliot said, handing me another but Atlas gurgled, claiming my attention. "Emma?" he asked as I stared at my son.
"Honey, I thought you changed him?" Theo questioned, sitting down beside me and placed the new pen in my hand.
"I did. Maybe it's his new formula?" Eliot stood and headed towards Atlas when his crying became more erratic. I followed, dropping the pen on the table to stand over his rocker. Reaching down I picked him up and instantly he stopped crying.
"Would you look at that. Should we get on with this?" Theo pushed, bouncing his knee up and down at a rapid pace.
I stared down at Atlas, who was now cooing as he his eyelids fluttered heavily before they closed, "I changed my mind." The words flew out of my mouth with little emotion.
"Emma, please don't do this." Eliot urged.
"I'm not signing this. I can't."
"Fuck. I knew it." Theo grumbled, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Em, come on. You know how important this is to us after that incident at the hospital."
I looked at Eliot, sighing heavily, "I know and I'm sorry you went through that. It was wrong. But so is giving up my son."
Theo flew out of the chair and charged into the dining room, sniffling loudly as tears streamed down his face and Eliot followed to soothe him. I sat back down with Atlas in my arms, kissing his forehead then his cheeks.
Regina was right.
I'm not my parents.
And giving up on Atlas is not an option.