It is time for him to visit 'The Room' again, and from a painful experience, he doesn't fight the guards when they come to collect him.
Who is it this time?
Cloudburst?
No, he was killed a few months ago.
Fireflash?
Or maybe that new one that was brought in a few weeks ago?
No matter who it is, he knows the outcome.
A tear runs slowly down his cheek at the loss of the last one.
When does it end?
Hasn't he suffered enough already?
At times he just wishes to die to stop the never-ending cycle of pain.
They reach 'The Room' and the door gets opened.
Fireflash turns around to greet them, a predatory glint in his optics, and Thundercracker has to forcefully quell the urge to flee.
He gets pushed into 'The Room' and the door locks behind him.
"What a pleasant surprise," Fireflash purrs and stalks closer.
"Can't say I feel the same," Thundercracker replies and edges away from the larger seeker. His back hits the door and he has nowhere else to run.
"And here I thought it would be a pathetic little grounder they would present for me to play with and not you, my dear. Tell me, how did your last time go? Did he satisfy you?" The red and black seeker adds as he closes the distance between them.
A black digit touches leisurely along the edge of a blue wing, and Thundercracker shudders in a mix of disgust and unwelcome pleasure. The touch gets repeated, and despite his effort not to be affected, he cannot stop himself when he leans into the continuous stimulation to his wing with a soft moan of pleasure. His frame and processor eagerly welcome the sire's touch after being denied closeness for such a long time.
"I know you want it. Want me." Fireflash leans in and whispers so close that his lips almost touch Thundercracker's audial. It rouses the blue seeker from his sedated state, and with all of his might, he pushes the red and black seeker back.
"No!" He utters, his lips lifting in a sneer. "You disgust me!"
"What a shame. I would have made this pleasurable for you, but if you are going to be difficult, then there is no need for me to be gentle."
"I got forced on the berth, and he..." Thundercracker's voice hitches violently, and he breaks down into tears, unable to continue.
"You don't have to tell me the rest if you aren't ready to do so. I don't need to know everything. These talks are not about what happened but about you putting words on your experiences to draw them out into the open. As long as you keep them buried, they will continue to affect you." Echo says soothingly, her optics full of understanding.
"I wasn't strong enough. I fought, but they overpowered me every time." Thundercracker says while sobbing. "I did everything I could to prevent it. And they never cared about me."
"What would have happened if they didn't manage to spark you?" The psychologist asks curiously.
"I don't know..." Thundercracker answers, his sobs stopping for a second while he considers the question.
"Would they have been punished? Would you? What kind of life did they live?" Echo asks further, sensing a small opening. "You told me this Cloudburst died. How?"
Thundercracker remains silent, and Echo knows that she is walking a thin line with her questions. She is not trying to excuse what the seekers in Thundercracker's past have done but wants the blue seeker to view the situations differently.
"Could it be that they lived with the same fear as you felt during your time at the breeding facility? That what they did to you, they did to survive? I can't imagine that anyone would be able to stay sane under such circumstances." She says, giving Thundercracker a new angle to consider. Hopefully it can change the view with which Thundercracker looks at the sires that had violated him and help him understand that they too had been victims like himself.
"Maybe..." Thundercracker whispers hesitantly.
Their current session has been over for a while now, but Thundercracker has been so open about his experiences and Echo has no further clients today, so she is taking the extra time to work with her friend. It hasn't been easy to remain silent and listen to the horrors Thundercracker has been through, but she had at least expected to hear most of it. It is almost always the same tale from the carriers.
Maybe she should confer with her team to discuss if she is the right one to take these talks. She and Thundercracker might be too close for her to remain objective. On the other hand, they are now so far into the therapy that it might be damaging to Thundercracker's progress if he changes psychologist.
"We are done for today." She decides and rises from her chair. "If you want to, we can schedule a new session for tomorrow. There is no pressure. We have covered a lot today, and it is understandable if you need some time to think about today's session."
"I think I need some time..." Thundercracker answers and rises slowly from the chair opposite the psychologist. Then in a sudden spur of the moment, he kneels and embraces Echo affectionately, and Echo leans into the embrace, reciprocating it with a happy pulse in her spark.
More and more of her friend is slowly returning.
After a week of sessions like this one, Thundercracker is visibly improving. His sorrow at the loss of his sparklings isn't as all-consuming and he can now talk about them without constantly breaking into tears. Now it is only a matter of working with his issues with the sires belonging to his own frame type.
They say goodbye at the door, and Echo lets out a deep sigh when it closes.
She should have tried harder to get him into therapy earlier, and the fact that she hasn't is another sign of them being too close. Skywarp is the first seeker besides Thundercracker to set his foot at D-14. Megatron's coddling of the blue seeker and her own hesitance to force Thundercracker into therapy have prevented them from treating traumatized seekers at their facility.
They have all the accommodations to deal with traumatized seekers. The flight simulator has been designed specifically to handle the speed a seeker can reach, while its room has the required specs that allow for a free flight without risking the equipment. But only Thundercracker has ever efficiently been able to use it.
With Skywarp, that might change, but so far they have not managed to clear him for flight outside the specialized simulators. The moment they had hoisted Skywarp into the air in the regular flight simulator and told him to engage his thrusters, the black and purple seeker had had a bad reaction, and they have not been able to get him into it ever since.
He straight up refuses and resorts to the stasis-pod simulation.
It can't continue like this, and she has scheduled a session with the black and purple seeker to clarify the reason behind his seizure. It is crucial for his recovery process that he overcomes this sudden fear of flight.