Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Why did he say those words?!
The look in Thundercracker's optics right before the door had slammed shut haunts him. The moment he had said those words and saw the uncertainty and fear enter the blue seeker's optics, he knew they had been a mistake, and when he had opened the door to apologize, the physicians had denied him the chance.
After he had been herded back into the recovery room, he had done the only thing he could to hopefully save the situation, only to have Echo tell him that Thundercracker had gone for a flight.
Out of reach.
And as if to mock him, he had heard the distinct sound of the blue seeker's take-off the next moment.
What has he done!
His fist connects forcefully with the wall, his frustration and anger overflowing.
The door opens and a nurse looks inside: "Are you okay? Do I need to call for someone?"
He feels like screaming.
The only one he wants to see right now is far away.
Completely out of his reach.
Reining in his anger, he manages to shake his head in answer.
It is not their fault that he messed up.
If he hadn't been so stupid...
If he hadn't hurt himself...
If he had pulled himself together instead of being so weak...
Then he could have followed.
Then Thundercracker wouldn't have been able to flee.
Then he could have apologized.
He feels like ripping his wings off anew to lay them out in front of the blue seeker as the ultimate apology.
The ultimate sacrifice.
What more can he do?
A knock on the door interrupts his mentally derailing thoughts and he looks up when it opens.
"Nova told me you needed someone to talk to." Sonar comments, leaning casually against the closed door. He notices the dent in the wall beside the berth, silently impressed and thankful that the psychiatric nurse contacted him.
"I don't need to talk. I need to get out of here." Skywarp grumbles. His wings flare but instantly lowers at a sharp sting of pain from his back. His warp-gate cycles for the hundredth time, but once again, all that comes back are errors.
With a roar of frustration, his fist connects with the wall again and again. It is first when an energon line ruptures that Sonar intervenes and grabs the damaged fist in a firm, unyielding grip.
"You definitely need to talk." The helo-former murmurs, checking the damage. When he finds it superficial and something that will heal on its own, he releases it.
"I don't," Skywarp mutters stubbornly.
"What wouldn't Thundercracker think if he saw you acting like this?" Sonar asks, sitting down in the chair beside the berth, his optics scanning Skywarp for any sign of further violence. "You would just prove to him that every seeker sire is violent and unpredictable, and where would that leave you then?"
"I just need to talk to him. To apologize. And they won't let me!" Skywarp's voice grows in volume with his anger, and the seeker fights against the sturdy handcuff that chains his left arm to the berth and prevents him from leaving it.
Gently placing his hand on the chained arm, Sonar rubs the black plating reassuringly: "He will come when he is ready. But you being like this might keep him from seeing you."
"I scared him," Skywarp whispers, finally meeting Sonar's optics. "I didn't mean to say those words - they just slipped out."
Tears drip onto the padding of the berth.
"I don't even think about him like that." A convulsive sob rattles the black wings.
"I know, Skywarp. I know." The helo-former murmurs, his thumb rubbing in soothing circles. "And I'm sure he will understand. You just need to give him time."
-Thundercracker and escort inbound. ETA - 10 minutes.- Megatron passes on the message he has just received from Airwave.
-I'll commence the procedure.- Sonar acknowledges.
-Fixit, I need you in here now.- He hails the physician on duty.
-Has he calmed down?- Fixit asks.
-Yes.- Sonar confirms.
-Give me a minute.- The physician says.
A gentle knock on the door heralds the physician's arrival.
"How are you feeling, Skywarp?" Fixit asks when he enters the recovery room.
Skywarp shrugs and then hisses at the pain coming from his back.
"Still in pain?" Fixit says thoughtfully, moving around the berth to study the healing plating around the wings' base. He touches it gently, testing its durability, and Skywarp releases another hiss of pain.
"It looks like your back is healing as it should," Fixit comments, satisfied with the strength and durability he senses in the healing plating. "I'll give you something for the pain."
Skywarp growls at the stinging pain when Fixit injects a solution containing a mild painkiller and a fast working sedative into his systems.
When Thundercracker lands five minutes later, Skywarp is unaware of what is happening, forced into a deep recharge.
Before he lands, Thundercracker gives the squadrons on duty a show in why seekers are superior in the air, performing stunts that only someone able to reach above Mach 5 can survive. Firebolt and his flight try to keep up during the tricks but have to fall away when the blue seeker's maneuvers exceed their capabilities.
Filled with renewed energy, Thundercracker finally transforms and lands elegantly on the runway.
His field is practically glowing and he smiles widely up at the six fighter jets that had escorted him on his flight before he turns towards the entrance into D-14.
Echo is waiting for him when he enters the rehabilitation facility and Thundercracker lifts her, dancing around on the spot with joyous laughter.
"By Primus, I have missed the feeling of the air against my plating," He exclaims and gently puts her down again.
Thundercracker's joy is infectious and Echo has missed seeing him this happy.
She is loath to ruin it, but they need to talk about what happened between him and Skywarp.