WARNING: contains sexual themes, nothing graphic just putting this so no one will complain or whatever…just like Glee does…ok? So yeah XD

Thanks to: Alex B. Goode & RHatch89 for the reviews!

It was different from what I thought. When you think of your first time, you think it'll be this romantic thing that you see on TV and read in the books. You think it'll change you for the better…When really you're losing the only good thing about you. No, not your virginity; your pride or your innocent self. I feel guilty, but at the same time I feel relieved and I liked it.

I got dressed afterwards and didn't say a word.

"You ok," Austin asked, still lying in bed.

"Uh, yeah…" not really, I thought.

"We can talk about it-"

"No…I-I need to go!" I got up and ran out.

My phone kept buzzing with texts ranging from my mother to Austin. I can't deal with anyone right now. Not Ryder, not Vanessa, not Jenna and not my dad. I needed to be somewhere no one can find me. I don't know of such place, though. I could leave the country and change my name…UGH. Why does my life suck so badly? Why is my mother such a liar? Why am I such a slut? Why the hell on earth did I have sex with Austin? I've become someone I despise. I'm going to be that girl everyone talks about to my face and behind my back. I don't know what I can do…

I'm outside of a school; I don't know the name of it. There were a lot of people here. I paid for a ticket and went in. I was looking around for the group. When I pass the sign that said the New Directions will perform last. The lights flickered on and off to show the performances were starting.

I sat down in the back of the auditorium and watched a group of girls performing "Proud Mary"…in wheelchairs? …That's new.

Then it was a bunch of deaf kids singing/signing "Don't Stop Believin'". Then I saw that one stalker girl stand up in the middle of the auditorium. Then she and the rest of the group she was in followed. I sneak in with the group and followed them.

They were discussing how they stole their songs that they were going to perform; which is bull, because that is cheating after all.

I was like a shadow in the room, because none of them had noticed me. See how invisible I am?

I wasn't really paying attention, I just heard some words being thrown around like: "poetry slam", and songs like "Somebody to Love."

All of a sudden someone was speaking to me.

"Um, hello…is you deaf," a dark headed cheerleader asked me.

"Um…no…uh-"

"Are you a spy or something? Why the hell are you in here?"

"I'm not a spy-"

"Then why are you in here? This is for the glee club only."

"I know, uh…" Everyone was staring at me now. "I'm Savannah Schuester…"

"As in-"

"Mr. Schuester's daughter…" This is hella awkward.

"Why are you in here?" The guy that won the winning touchdown two months ago asked.

"I wanted to support you guys…I hear about you 24/7." I'm not even kidding.

"Whatever." The bitchy cheerleader said. Then a jock walked into the room holding music sheets. I didn't really pay attention to what he said; I was too busy thinking about last night, because it kept creeping up.

Kissing; that was what we were doing…kissing. He moved my hair out of my face between each kiss. We started to undress; me still in my bra and pants; him in his pants.

My thoughts were interrupted by the announcer: "Now presenting: the New Directions!"

Music started and Rachel started singing "Don't Rain on My Parade". She sang down the aisle while interacting with the audience.

When she got on the stage after the song ended she announced their name…did she heard the announcer said their name already? Then they performed "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones.

The jock was singing…I don't know his name. He had a good voice, kind of hot, but I can't think of that right now.

After they got done performing I left. I just need to get home.

I was lying down while he kissed me; we were barely naked. We moaned with every kiss; and took deep breaths between each kiss.

"Hold…on…" he said between each breath.

Thoughts were interrupted again as the TARC bus stopped near my street. I got off and started walking towards home. It was fall and it was showing its winter side early. I only had a jacket when I left so I tried bundling myself up till I reach the complex.

I opened it up and went to the stairs and walk up the stairs, refusing the elevator. I still needed time to think, but before I could I already reach my floor and stand in front of the door. I stood there for what it seemed like five minutes. I kept breathing in and out, thinking of last night. Images flashing through my head of Austin kissing me and what we were doing; I still feel his hands on me, the way he touched me…it was different. It was electricity flowing through me like I got shocked by eels in the ocean.

I took one last breath and opened the door. It looked normal, not like there was a fight at all. I went in and softly closed the door and tiptoed to my room, when I stopped.

"What's with the monkey suit," I heard my mother ask someone.

"Ken and Emma's wedding, it's at four," I heard my dad. Are they still together? Did last night never happen?

"Let me help you-"

"I got it."

Oh. I want you to know I've been seeing a therapist. Oh, it's just at the local community center, but still."

"Great…I'm happy for you."

"I'm taking responsibility, Will. I mean, I'm weak, and I'm selfish, and I let my anxiety rule my life, but you know I wasn't always that way. It's just that… I wanted so many things that I know we're never going to have. But that was okay as long as I still had you. Say something?"

"I'm looking at you, and I'm trying. I mean, I really want to feel that thing I always felt when I looked at you before, that feeling of family, of love. But, it's gone." He walked out of the room and I hide in my room and waited till he was gone; then I glanced in my parents' room and saw my mom sitting on the bed, looking down.

For a second, we glanced at each other. That second felt like two minutes. We didn't even try to speak to each other. Not an insult. I glanced away and slowly closed my door.

At school Monday:

I walked in like any other day; only difference is: I'm different. I'm a complete different person. I'm not a virgin. My home life sucks right now. I need to see some of my friends…

Speaking of friends, Vanessa stops in front of me.

"Um, hi, Va-"

"Don't talk to me."

"W-w-why?"

"I am no longer friends with you." I stand there looking confused. Is she going through one of her things again?

"Why?"

"I don't become friends with the class whore." That comment stopped me. I was speechless.

"How-"

"You're little boyfriend told me."

"The hell-"

"Yeah, I can't believe you would do a stupid thing like that."

"Vanessa-"

"Making fun of teen moms is not so fun, huh?"

"I'm not pregnant."

"The rate you're going might as well be."

"It was only once-"

"Not from I heard…" She started to walk off.

"Whatever, I need to find Ryder and Jenna-"

"Good luck with that," she turned around.

"What do you mean?"

"They moved."

"Yeah, right-"

"No it's true. Ryder moved to Ft. Lauderdale, for something to do with you; and Jenna moved to Indianapolis, because of family." I stared at her. "Now have fun, friendless loser." She walked off; I stood there…alone.

So guys sorry for the long updates, I got a job at McDonald's and fast food takes a lot of time. Plus I'm going through a lot right now. Also I met Matthew Morrison on November 15th! (: Read and review!