Chapter 4: A Perfect Transformation for this Big Potato!
Part 1
After we comforted Komekko-chan, she took her queen training more seriously.
The etiquette and diplomacy classes she used to loathe gained a new sense of importance in her eyes, after we had our talk.
"This will be good for her development."
Revi said, as we watched Komekko-chan listening to her tutor's lesson attentively.
"Yeah, I have faith that she'll make a good queen."
I smiled and followed Revi as he went back to the throne room.
"...Why are you following me? Take the day off, Iris."
"Huh? You know how much I hate just idling around! Let me deal with the court matters with you!"
"Look, if you want to bore yourself, you can come along, but it's not a good look if the queen leaves halfway… You'll essentially be stuck there the whole day."
"I'm not Komekko-chan. I can sit still! Besides, I'll have to do this stuff when I return to Belzerg, anyway!"
Revi shrugged as we arrived at the throne room. I took my seat beside him. There were three thrones available, the biggest throne for Revi and smaller thrones for Komekko-chan and me, at both sides of the big throne.
I took my seat to his right. After we were both seated, the attendants placed crowns on our heads before letting in the first wave of the audiences we'd have to address.
The first person seeking an audience with us was the village chief and Haruharu.
I didn't know them that well, but apparently Haruharu was in charge of the Crimson Demon academy.
"...Your majesties… We come here to request more funding for the school."
Haruharu said, as she kneeled in front of us.
I could tell that Revi felt uneasy with Haruharu kneeling in front of him, but for the sake of appearances, he didn't comment about it.
"More funding? But we already increased the budget…"
"That's true… But with your majesty making those social reforms, now the peasants are allowed to enroll in our school. We can't possibly accommodate all of the new students."
Revi stroked his chin and said,
"I thought that we set up a test system for commoners to get in?"
Since nobles were ahead in their studies, they didn't necessarily have to prove that they had basic education. Even though Revi was slowly working on breaking down the class divisions, it was still a relatively new facet of Elroad's society. It wasn't realistic to expect it all to change overnight.
That was why he was planning to slowly let peasants and nobles study together in the academy, but…
"...Well, it turns out that there's a lot of gifted peasants."
"I should be happy, but this is actually pretty inconvenient…"
Revi looked proud that his country was able to produce a lot of capable youth, despite the lack of educational resources available, but there were only a handful of educators to go around.
Most educators were private tutors that specialized in teaching noble children. The tutor that was teaching Komekko-chan etiquette and diplomacy was the royal tutor. Since only noble children received education, there weren't a lot of teachers to go around.
"What do we do about that situation, your majesty?"
The village chief said, looking around nervously at the officials watching him. He wasn't used to this kind of setting.
"...Well, I don't really have a good answer… Put them on the waiting list."
"Eh? But at this rate, we'll just get a backlog…"
"It'll take some time to train and acquire new teachers, right? How about this? From what I understand, you have your lessons as a yearlong curriculum. How about you divide the curriculum by three month semesters? After one semester is over, those in the waiting list will have a turn to study."
"B-But what about the students who don't have anything to do during that time?!"
"They'll receive a three month vacation."
"I-I disagree with this?!"
Haruharu stood up, looking upset by what Revi said. Her eyes were shining as she glared at Revi.
"E-Eh? I've never seen Haru-sensei acting like this?!"
Revi said, looking nervous from the sudden switch up in attitude.
"Allowing students to have a 'vacation'... They will only goof off and participate in depraved and delinquent activities?! I shudder to even say this but… What if they involve themselves in inappropriate relationships?!"
…Is this woman for real?
Those kids would involve themselves in 'inappropriate relationships' regardless if there was a vacation or not.
"...Haru-sensei, please think about this logically. Those students in the waiting list won't have anything to do, anyway. This country never even had a school system until I had you Crimson Demons help in integrating it."
"I-I suppose that's true…"
"Besides, this is only a temporary solution until we acquire more educators. Please bear with it, since this whole thing is still in its experimental stage…"
"I suppose you're right, your majesty. Please forgive my outburst."
Little did Haruharu know that in the future, the concept of 'summer vacation; would stick around, even if there was no more use for the alternating semester system.
Students in the future would thank King Revi Elroad for his wise decision to create an annual vacation time for students everywhere.
After the concerns involving the school were taken care of, Revi spared a few minutes to catch up with Haruharu and the village chief.
They asked about how Komekko-chan was doing and Revi told them that she was taking her lessons seriously.
Haruharu smiled and said,
"...To think that the child who misspelled her own name in a test would take her education seriously… I'm proud as her sensei."
Since the bar was low, it didn't take much for her to feel proud of Komekko-chan.
Part 2
We spent the rest of the morning, until lunchtime, dealing with those who wanted Revi's attention.
There was a mix of commoners and nobles asking Revi to resolve issues and conflicts between themselves.
Since there were more possibilities for commoners and nobles to interact, it caused a lot of friction to occur between them in the workplace.
They had different perspectives and solutions to problems. Revi did a good job of letting them see the strengths and weaknesses of their backgrounds.
Nobles had superior educational advantages, but they also tended to lack the means to apply that knowledge in the real world.
Commoners tended to be uneducated and ignorant, but they instinctively knew how to apply what little knowledge they possessed to find realistic solutions to problems.
If you combine their strengths together, you'll find an ideal balance of knowledge and wisdom.
Once Revi got them to see that, they usually started to respect each other more, and their work production would increase.
"...You have a knack for this, Revi."
I said, once we took a break from work and had lunch with the others. Komekko-chan looked exhausted from her tutoring session, and she made sure to eat lots of food.
The other concubines were still getting used to life at the palace, and the fact that they now had numerous servants to attend to all their needs.
"Do I? I don't know, I guess since I've always been treated as an outsider, I had to work especially hard to earn everyone's respect. I spent a lot of time learning and observing people to find ways to earn their trust…"
I smiled and found myself staring at him.
"...Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm just wondering why it took so long for me to see this cool side of you."
"Hah… It took a drastic growth spurt and me awakening to my devil side to finally get you to see my charms, huh? What a superficial girl… Oi, I didn't mean it?!"
He started panicking when I raised my butter knife at him.
"...You're superficial, too. You hated me at the start and treated me like some barbarian, remember? Once I slayed the dragon, that was when you started crushing on me."
"Urk… I guess that's true, huh?"
He looked away in shame once I remembered his first impressions of me.
"...Yeah, my bad. If we could live in a world where it was easier to see the good parts of people, I think the world would be a better place."
"I think half the fun of getting to know someone is getting to know their good parts bit by bit, right?"
"...But what if you miss out on getting to know someone with good qualities, just because you failed to see them."
"Then you're too judgemental! Let this be a lesson to not let first impressions dictate how you view someone!"
"Oi, you're also guilty of judging me too quickly! Don't act as if that lesson doesn't apply to you!"
We resumed eating before we could start arguing again.
…
…
After lunch, we went back to the throne room to listen to the complaints and requests of the people.
While we were dealing with a dispute about two women who were arguing about their claim over a child, an attendant came to us in a hurry.
Revi was chuckling while holding a saw when the attendant came.
"...If you two can't decide who the child belongs to, then we'll just have to split them in half… Hm, what is it?"
He turned to the attendant who interrupted him.
"Revi-sama! There's a messenger from the Kingdom of Potassia… They said that they bring urgent news…"
"Eh? Really? Sorry, ladies, please handle this yourself…"
I felt like Revi was about to do something pretty significant, but he tossed the saw aside and dismissed the ladies.
The messenger came in, wearing extravagant robes. He had a look of self-importance about him. His robes bore the symbol of Potassia, a potato.
The messenger included his head only slightly towards Revi, showing the bare minimum of respect that wouldn't get him executed.
"...Greetings, King Elroad. I bring you news from my country."
"Ah… The potato shipments are late, right? It's fine, we don't mind."
Revi said, giving a dismissive wave.
"Y-You…! You think that all our country is good for are potatoes, huh?!"
"...Eh? Then what did you come here for? Oh, if it's about the refugees… S-Sorry about the Crimson Demon thing…"
"...What are you talking about? Wait, that's not it…!"
He held out a scroll and unfurled it.
"The Kingdom of Potassia has officially declared war against Elroad! Our army will gather around your border within the day! Prepare yourselves!"
The courtroom went quiet at his declaration.
"...Eh? You guys want to hold another hot potato competition or something?"
"You've insulted us for the last time! Gather your army, King Elroad! This is your final warning!"
He handed the scroll to an attendant and stomped away.
"...Geez… Who stuck a potato up his ass? Wait, this is real?!"
Revi panicked when he read the contents of the scroll.
"Huh? Did you actually think he was joking the whole time?"
"B-But… Potassia has never really gone to war before?!"
Since Potassia was seen as a relatively peaceful country that did its best not to agitate anyone, all of the surrounding countries left it alone.
Even Belzerg didn't have any thoughts about invading Potassia.
Sometimes, we forgot it even existed.
"...I don't get it. Why are they attacking now? This is completely derailing my plan!"
Revi said, his panic causing his officials and those in the throneroom to panic as well.
I rolled my eyes and said to them,
"You're dismissed!"
They scurried away and I addressed Revi privately.
"Alright… First of all, never show your subjects any sign that you're worried or nervous."
"Right… Sorry…"
Since Revi had been really reliable recently, I forgot that he was pretty much learning on the spot.
I was pretty much winging it, too, but at least I would never show my subjects any weakness like that.
I held his shoulders and said,
"Remember what I told you? There's all sorts of random things that can happen. Just because you have a bunch of plans, it doesn't mean that everyone else in the world will let you execute them."
Revi was a good strategist, but he needed to learn how to think on the spot.
In that regard, the impulsive Komekko-chan actually had the leg up on him.
"R-Right… So, why do you think Potassia is attacking us now, of all times? Did Maouko anticipate that we'd try to ambush her?"
I shook my head and said,
"I don't think so. I think this has to do with Potassia's ambitions… As well as their current food shortage. Remember, the refugees said they had to flee the country because of a famine that they're experiencing."
Revi nodded, thinking back to what the refugees said,
"I see… So they're attacking out of desperation?"
"It's not a completely desperate attack, in their eyes. Remember, Elroad just survived a dragon invasion. Since their spy network isn't that good, they probably think that we lost a bunch of your army during the attack."
"...But the messenger would see that the city is fine."
He said, gesturing to the palace walls that the Crimson Demons easily fixed.
"He still hasn't seen the state of our army yet. And of course they don't know about the armors…"
"So what should we do? Intimidate them with our weapons and get them to back off?"
"How about we use this to our advantage? We have Maouko think that we're currently engaged in a battle with Potassia. That will make her take the bait and attack Belzerg. She's being cautious right now since she doesn't know the full story of what happened after the invasion. Thanks to your tactic of keeping Lord Rickford under surveillance, we rooted out all her spies here."
Since Maouko was pretty much blind about Elroad's status due to us uprooting her spy network, she hadn't attacked Belzerg yet. She was waiting for another window.
This was Revi's chance to create that window.
"...I thought that you didn't agree with me starting a war with the Demon King army, Iris. Does this mean that you're fully supporting the war efforts?"
I blinked, not realizing that was what I was doing.
Regina-sama said that if I committed myself to the war, that would mean that I'd throw away my identity as Alice the adventurer forever.
That would mean that I'd get my body back, but…
Revi nodded in understanding.
"It's fine. You already helped out a lot. I'll take care of things from here."
After he called his council back, he started planning the war effort against Potassia.
Part 3
When it was announced that the kingdom would go to war, Komekko-chan came out from her studying and said,
"Wait… Can't we reason with Potassia?! Why must we fight! We must handle this in a diplomatic manner…!"
Who is this girl?!
The diplomacy lessons were too effective… Instead of raring to go to battle, Komekko-chan was now advocating for peaceful negotiations.
"Erm… I'm proud that you're learning fast, Komekko-chan, but this isn't really the time for…"
"No! I'm sure that if we set up a trade agreement with them… They'll surely be open to peace options!"
"...Alright, so what kind of trade agreement will you make with them, Komekko-chan?"
"Ah, since Elroad's most valuable export is gold and other precious metals, how about we trade our most valuable export for theirs, straight up? We'll trade our gold for their potatoes!"
I groaned at Komekko-chan's trade proposal.
…Since she was passionate about her field of education, but hadn't received much instruction in it, she was saying all this nonsense.
It was like a first year student who thinks that they can change the world with their stupid ideas.
"Alright, enough of this Komekko-chan… Get your sword ready and join the march to the battlefield…"
She sighed and gave me a condescending look.
"...Um, sorry, sweetie, but I learned in Psychology 101 that being all confrontational to someone you've never met is reeaalllyyy problematic… We need to make sure that the PotaX people feel like they're in a safe space…"
"...What the heck is a PotaX?"
"The politically correct way to refer to the people of Potassia…"
"If you don't get your sword I swear I'm gonna beat your ass!"
"Ouch! Ouch!"
I made her go upstairs and get her sword, slapping her butt as she ran off.
"...What the heck is that tutor teaching her?"
"Erm… It's the same kind of education I received as a kid."
"Explains a lot. Alright, let's go."
"...You know, Iris, that actually really offends me."
"Exactly."
After properly arming myself with my armor and sword, and bringing enough temporary transformation potions, I went off to meet the army that was forming.
Since this was an emergency situation, I was surprised at how fast everyone mobilized… Then again, they were already in standby for the war with the Demon King army.
I saw Lina with the adventurer mercenaries and went up to her.
"Hello, Lina. Thank you for gathering everyone so quickly."
"Your majesty…! Erm… About that…"
An unruly adventurer went up to me and said,
"Oi! What's the bounty rewards like! Is it the same deal as with the Demon King army?!"
"...Potassia isn't as dangerous of a threat as the Demon King army…"
"Oh? Then I guess you won't be needing us…"
I shrugged and said,
"Alright, suit yourself. We'll use all the money and items we loot for the good of the kingdom, then."
"W-Wait, what was that?"
I smirked, knowing how to get them interested.
"I was planning on letting you guys keep all the treasure and loot you manage to get as a way to make up for the low commission rates, but if you're not interested…"
"I didn't say I wasn't interested! We're gonna fight, right boys?!"
"Yosh!"
I rolled my eyes at how easy it was to deal with them.
"T-That was…"
Lina smiled weakly, seeing how easy it was I fixed the problem for her.
"It's fine. I have way more experience dealing with idiots than you do…"
"...Ahem… I hope you're not referring to me?!"
Revi said, overhearing our conversation as he walked up to us.
He was wearing his Moguninin transformation belt. Other than that, he was wearing the adventuring outfit he usually wore as Ravi.
"Ah! Hello, your majesty! It's nice to meet you!"
Lina said, smiling and bowing to Revi, giving him an accidental look up her blouse…
"Oho…?"
That got his interest.
"You look familiar…"
"I'm Lina… I'm told that you know my cousin Luna?"
"Y-You mean that Luna? I can certainly see the resemblance…"
I sighed and pinched his ear.
"Ow!"
"Alright, lover boy… You can flirt around with the pretty guild receptionist girl later. You have a war to fight…"
"Tch… Erm, see you later, Lina!"
"It was nice to meet you!"
Revi had a goofy grin as he waved to Lina as I pulled her away.
"You can let go of my ear now."
He said, puting as he rubbed his ear after I let it go.
"Alright, we're gonna start our march to the border now. What's our plan?"
"...I don't know. It's not like they gave us time to prepare. They didn't even give us a day!"
I shrugged and said,
"If it was up to me, I wouldn't even give any warning at all. At least they're gonna wait for us. Imagine that damage they could cause if they didn't give any warning."
"...I guess that's right. Well, I'm thinking we just let the Crimson Demons wipe them out and then we'll come in to deal with the stragglers."
"Already planning to just leave it to the Crimson Demons, huh?!"
"What's the problem with that?! They're our best assets in a fight. Besides, I heard what you promised the adventurers! I'm not gonna give them any loot!"
A greedy king and his greedy followers were fighting over the wartime loot they'd get…
"Fine, I guess we'll send the Crimson Demons first… But with how Komekko-chan is right now… Do you think we can even send her to the frontline?"
We looked at Komekko-chan, who was still spouting her nonsense to whoever would listen.
"We don't have to fight! We just have to listen to their demands and accommodate them! Just give peace a chance~!"
She started singing for some reason.
Of all the talents Komekko-chan possessed, singing wasn't one of them.
"...Reign her in before she affects morale."
"Alright… I guess I'll just have her stay away unless we really need her."
"And get a new tutor once this is all done!"
He nodded while walking over to Komekko-chan to tell her to buzz off.
I went over to the Crimson Demons and told them about the plan.
"Eh? Why wouldn't we go to the frontline?"
"Even if you told us not to, we'd go there anyway and steal the show!"
"Can you let us do the opening speeches to intimidate the enemy?"
These girls never break character, huh?
"...We don't know the full extent of their military capabilities, but Potassia's army is average at best, based on the intelligence we do have. You shouldn't have too much trouble with them, but just in case…"
Arue smirked and said,
"No need to worry. It won't be a problem for us…"
I sighed, knowing that there was no use telling them not to be overconfident.
After checking up on the Crimson Demons, I went to another potential wildcard that could make or break this operation…
Sonia was allowed to participate in the war. Even though she had a confusing, and at times contradicting, status as a 'political prisoner that has certain freedoms', Revi let her join the battle, since he needed all the firepower he could get.
As for why she wanted to come along, she said that she was bored and wanted to see what a war was like.
"So? Is this just like one of your vidya games?"
I said, walking up to her. She was preparing the two magic swords we let her use from the weapon storage scroll. Since we didn't want to risk losing all of the other weapons, we only let her bring two swords with her. She was planning to dual wield them.
"Oh, yeah! This tense war atmosphere is totally immersive! It's like I'm actually in the middle of war preparation!"
"...That's because you are."
I said, sighing at her antics.
"So, what's my role in the fighting gonna be?"
"...You have two legendary swords. Just do as much damage as you can."
"Roger!"
She tried to give me a Belzergian salute, but she didn't do it properly.
After having a brief chat with Sonia, I went over to the others who would be fighting in the war. I was surprised to see Regina-sama and Serena-sama there with us.
"...You two are planning to fight?"
"Only as medics. Serena here will be useful for that."
Serena nodded at Regina-sama's words and said,
"I can heal the soldiers and those who are grateful to me, I will command them to go back into the battlefield, even if they don't want to."
"Scary! Please don't do that?!"
She talked about making soldiers fight endlessly as if it wasn't a big deal.
"...By the way, have you seen Rori-san?"
Regina-sama shrugged and said,
"She says she's still sick. It's strange, since devils aren't supposed to be sick."
"She's still sick?! Oi, what if something's wrong with her?!"
"...Well, we have people taking care of her. It's not like we can do much when there's a war going on."
I groaned and held my head, feeling dizzy all of a sudden.
I had been so busy with helping Revi run this country that I couldn't even keep an eye on my party member's health.
I felt my stomach twist. It was happening.
I was beginning to prioritize my duties as queen over my duties as an adventurer.
I was beginning to lose hold of my identity as Alice.
Alice wouldn't care about some stupid war with a weak country. She'd rush over to Rori-san right now and take care of her.
"...Child, don't go."
Regina-sama said, perhaps recognizing the look on my face.
"...You're telling me to just accept my duties as a queen, huh?
I said, giving her a weak smile.
Since I couldn't decide by myself… If Regina-sama told me to, I'd listen to her.
It was getting too hard to think for myself anymore.
"Both sides of you… They wouldn't worry about that child, Rorisa. She's stronger than you, after all."
"Ah…"
I blinked, surprised by her words.
I smiled and nodded,
"You're right about that."
As soon as I dealt with these Potassia irritants, I'd rush over to make sure Rori-san was alright.
She already told me that she wasn't feeling well, but I didn't take it seriously. I was too concerned over my own problems.
After talking to Regina-sama, I joined Revi at his position, in front of the army.
With him at my side, we led the march to the battlefield.
Part 4
We stopped before the border that connected Elroad to Potassia.
The Potassian army… Was honestly larger than I thought. Even though they were often ridiculed as a country that was average at everything, an average military was still larger than what Elroad had.
If there was one thing Potassia had over Elroad, it was a numerical advantage.
The Potassian army cheered once they saw Revi's paltry army pull up to the border.
"Haha! This is easier than I thought!"
"We should have attacked them way earlier!"
"You guys aren't so tough without Belzerg protecting you, huh?!"
The Potassian soldiers' taunts made our soldiers doubt themselves a little bit.
I looked to Revi, leaving the morale raising up to him.
Revi nodded and said,
"Oh? You guys actually managed to afford armor, huh? Well, only a few of the nobles have armor, I guess. I feel sorry for all the peasants, though… The only thing they have in terms of armor are potato sacks…"
Revi smirked, as he made his own troops laugh while creating a class division among the armored nobles and the peasants who didn't have any armor, among the Potassian army.
Since Elroad was a rich country, they could afford to give everyone armor. Even the militia were outfitted with chain mail, at the very least, while the soldiers wore Moguninin armor.
The enemy general stepped forward. He wore full plate mail and he held his helmet while speaking to us. He had a bald, shiny head and a long, thin beard.
"H-How dare you call our armor as 'potato sacks'! You sure are ignorant! Haven't you ever heard of cloth armor?! Cloth armor is a viable armor, don't you know?! Actually, it's more viable than that stupid leather armor your adventurers wear!"
"Ah… I got it. You guys are wearing layered potato sacks and you're fighting with pointy sticks, huh? How intimidating…"
"They're cloth armor and spears! H-Hmph…! I noticed that a lot of your soldiers are using swords… Don't you know that swords are vastly inferior to spears? Historically, spears have been the most dominant and prevalent weapon in the battlefield, while swords are mostly used as mere decoration and secondary weapons."
"Oh, really? I have a question, though. Who asked?"
"...?!"
A Potassian soldier went up to the enemy general and said,
"I-It's true Harold-sama… He didn't actually ask…"
"Shut up! Hmph… This fellow over here is underestimating our spears, huh? If he thinks that his swords can do anything against our full-plate armor… It just shows his lack of understanding about warfare…"
"But don't you know that magic swords can cut through full-plate armor like it's butter?"
"E-Elroad doesn't have any magic swords?"
"Oh, how about this?!"
Revi took out his 'Musou' scimitar. I also joined him in showing my Calibur. I glanced at Sonia, who smirked and held up her two swords. One was cloaked in flames, while the other was covered in icy winds.
"W-What…?! So many magic swords?! And isn't that Calibur?!"
"Did someone say… Magic swords?!"
Komekko-chan charged through the crowd and came up to join us in the frontline.
"...Weren't you singing about 'give peace a chance' earlier?"
"Huh? But this is my chance to look cool! Oi, you history nerds! Check out my goddamn sword!"
She took out her Devil Sword Dande and powered it up, showing off the red devil energy.
"T-That's… They have so many magic swords?!"
"That's actually really badass… But it's bad for our asses!"
Komekko-chan nodded at the praises.
"Indeed! I like you, general! Maybe I'll beat you up last?"
She said, giving him a wink.
I noticed that he blushed upon receiving her wink. Oi, don't fall in love with the enemy.
"I-It doesn't matter! We have numerical advantage and we have spears! You seriously think you stand a chance?! Let's start this war now!"
Eager to show us his military might, General Harold of the Potassian army pulled back to rejoin his army. We turned back and took position as well.
After returning to the others, Revi gave one last speech to his army before we waited for the battle to start.
A few tense minutes later we heard the sound of a horn from Potassia's side. Revi nodded and one of his soldiers sounded a horn in response.
"Charge!"
"For Elroad!"
"May Elroad prosper!"
"May there be a lot of beautiful female soldiers that we can capture and play with afterwards!"
…These guys had that kind of goal, huh?
Lalatina would be happy if she heard that.
Perhaps Aisha would be happy, too.
Before both sides could meet head on, however…
"[Bottomless Swamp]!"
The Crimson Demons came out front and caused the ground before the Potassian army to soften, quickly turning it into a sinking marsh.
"E-Eh?!"
"Isn't this Advanced Magic?! They have an Arch-Wizard in their ranks?"
Huh? Just an Arch-Wizard?
Ah… I almost forgot that advanced classes were very rare.
Since Crimson Demons didn't follow any kind of logic, I got used to the fact that there was a village full of Arch-Wizards.
Normally, it wouldn't be strange for countries to not have any Arch-Wizards, since they were that rare.
A country with one Arch-Wizard would see a large increase in their fighting capabilities.
Meanwhile, Elroad had about thirty of them fighting right now.
"[Light of Saber]!"
They unleashed blades of pure light that swept through and cut the soldiers who had fallen into the swamp…
Their full-plate armor crumbled into dust.
We ignored the frontline that were sinking helplessly into the ground and charged through the army.
"Hmph! Your sword can't possibly cut through my full-plate armor! Historically, swords are useless against full-plate… Gack!"
I watched Komekko-chan cut down another insufferable history nerd with her devil sword.
She didn't put lethal force into the attack, settling for destroying the armor with her sword.
"Gack… T-That's impossible! A mere sword can't possibly break through armor…?!"
"...We live in a world where magic and Giant Toads exist, and that's what you're worried about, you virgin?"
I said, rolling my eyes and walking past him.
I saw the general slowly making his way out of the frontline. Despite his bravado earlier, he was already retreating…
"Oi, potato muncher!"
"T-That's a slur! How dare you!"
"Well, it got you to stop running."
I said, quickly catching up with him.
I drank a temporary transformation potion and crushed the glass vial in my hand when I felt my power returning to me.
I drew out Calibur and charged at him.
"Hah! You're within spear distance! Take this! [Historically Accurate Spear Attack]!"
He lunged his spear out at me. I easily broke it in half with Calibur.
"I-Impossible! But it's a historically viable maneuver?!"
"What's your pointy stick gonna do against my legendary sword, huh?! Legends don't care about your history!"
I slashed his armor, cutting through it easily, making it crumble and revealing his tight body suit underneath.
"...You need to lose some weight, pal. Maybe cut down on the potatoes."
I said, looking at the unappealing shape I saw underneath.
"Now you're fat shaming, too?! As expected of a barbarian from Belzerg! You Belzerg Brute!"
"...Oi, aren't you resorting to using slurs now, too?"
"Tsk… You leave me no choice!"
He took out a potato from a pouch at his belt.
"...Seriously? You want a snack?"
I stared at him blankly.
Or maybe it was a peace offering?
"Heh.. Of course not! Take this! I summon… Big Potato!"
He tossed the potato and I watched it expand in size.
"Big… Potato…!"
I saw the potato grow limbs, eyes and a fanged mouth…
Seriously?
"Huh? What is this? Some kind of potato monster?"
"Heh… Do you like it? It's our new invention! We sacrificed a lot to perfect this creation… We had our worst famine yet since we sacrificed the land's fertility to power up this Big Potato… But it's all for the sake of winning on the battlefield! We will no longer be mocked by other nations!"
"Big Potato… Big… Potato…!"
It let out a loud roar, attracting everyone's attention to it.
"Ohh?! A giant monster for me to play with?! [Light of Saber]!"
"[Tornado]!"
"[Inferno]!"
The Crimson Demons got excited and attacked the Big Potato with their strongest spells.
"...Big… Po… Tatooooo!"
Once the dust cleared, we saw that the Big Potato only increased in size and didn't seem to take damage.
"E-Eh? What happened?"
I turned to the general for an explanation.
"Huh? What are you looking at me for?"
He said, confused while I was patiently waiting for him to explain.
"...Aren't you gonna explain how your creature works?"
"Why the hell would I tell you that? You think I'll just tell you its weaknesses? You think I'm that stupid?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry…"
Since Makemake, the first real bad guy we faced, practically explained everything he was doing, I thought that this guy would do the same.
I turned my attention away from the general, since the Big Potato creature was more important than him in terms of threat level.
The Elroad soldiers attacked with their crossbows, letting loose their explosive bolts, but it had no effect on the Big Potato and only made it keep growing.
"...Big… Potato!"
The Potassian army cheered and rallied around their creature.
With the Big Potato leading the way, they were able to push us back, even though we had all the momentum earlier.
"Ahh! We can't reach them because of their spears! They have too much weapon reach!"
"We told you spears are superior!"
Whenever the Crimson Demons fired a spell at the advancing enemy army, the Big Potato would swoop in to block the spells.
"Big Potatooooo!"
It was surprisingly fast for its size. It was able to intercept most of the spells.
Sonia raised her swords and let loose a combination attack of fire and ice.
The Big Potato opened its mouth and absorbed her attacks.
"Grrr… I'll make fried potatoes out of you! Take this!"
Komekko-chan leapt at the Big Potato and attacked it with her devil sword, but the Big Potato wasn't fazed by the attack and smacked her away.
"Gack! I-It's strong?!"
I watched Komekko-chan tumble away after her attack failed.
"W-What's the deal with that thing?!"
Revi said, when I retreated back to talk to him.
Since he was the king, he was mostly staying back and relaying orders.
"...I think it's absorbing all the magic we're firing at it. Tell everyone not to use any spells or explosive bolts…"
"...But our whole strategy revolves around magic and explosive bolts! Need I remind you that our army is super weak without all the magic equipment I gave them?!"
Even if the army was ineffective, we could still rely on the Crimson Demons but…
This Big Potato was a complete counter to them.
I didn't know if this was planned on Potassia's part or not, but their strategy was still completely wrecking ours.
That was what we got for underestimating our opponent…
"...For now we should retreat."
"Seriously?! Ah… But the desert tribes will lose their respect for me if I let these guys advance into the desert!"
The place behind us was the stretch of desert that the desert tribes inhabited. Revi didn't want to lose face with them by letting the enemy intrude into their territory…"
Revi was still counting on the desert tribe's help in the upcoming war against Maouko. He couldn't afford to lose their support.
Without much choice, we held our ground, with Revi instructing the Crimson Demons to pull back.
…Our first war was becoming a disaster.
Part 5
"Hah?! You're telling us to pull back?!"
Komekko-chan said, infuriated that we commanded the Crimson Demons to retreat from the frontlines."
"...We told you that it's absorbing all your magic and even devil energy, right? You're just making it stronger."
"B-But…!"
"...Remember, you need to behave like a proper queen now."
That got her to back down. She nodded and sat down.
We moved over to the command tent. The Crimson Demons were sitting around, looking disappointed that they couldn't fight.
The rest of the army was struggling to fight back without Crimson Demon support. Thankfully, their superior armor kept them from dying, but the Moguninin armor couldn't protect them forever.
"...So, what do we do, boya?"
Regina-sama said, as she and Serena-sensei looked over and healed the soldiers who received injuries.
"...Do you think this is one of those 'if we overload it with energy, it will explode' kind of creatures?"
"...What kind of lazy solution is that? I mean, what if we just transform it into a perfect being after feeding it too much power?"
"Gah! I don't know what to do?! What the heck is that thing, anyway?!"
Revi said, scratching his head when he couldn't come up with a solution.
"...The only clue I got was that they made that creature after sacrificing the fertility of their land…"
That got Regina-sama's attention.
"Hold on, that's a vital clue, child."
She finished wrapping up the bandage tightly on the injured soldier she was attending… Perhaps a bit too tightly, since he cried out in pain.
"Rituals of sacrifice can indeed summon powerful creatures. Based on what's being sacrificed, one can create a creature of a similar power. Since an entire country went into a famine, the sacrifice this time around is tremendous… That's how they were able to summon this powerful creature."
Komekko-chan raised her hand and said,
"Oh! That's like how my devil summoning works! I once sacrificed my lunch of crawdads and chicken and summoned Hoost that way!"
"...I think you're an exception."
Regina-sama said, sighing when she heard the ridiculous way Komekko-chan managed to summon a powerful devil.
"Does knowing how the Big Potato was summoned give us any clues on how to defeat it?"
Regina-sama nodded and said,
"Exactly. I'll need my books to research the way to reverse the summons… I'm assuming they're using dark magic, and I have a lot of grimoires that deal with taboo magic… Hehe…"
You'll never get rid of your fallen goddess status if you give a creepy laugh while talking about grimoires and taboo magic, Regina-sama.
"So I'm guessing we have to stall for Regina-sama while someone fetches her books for her, and while she looks for a way to get rid of this thing…"
"...What can we do until then?"
Revi smiled and said.
"Hey, we can't use magic on it but… It doesn't mean we can't use the surroundings to slow it down."
"What do you mean by that?"
He chuckled and said,
"I'm talking about environmental and collateral damage, of course!"
…
…
We came back to the battlefield once Revi came up with his idea.
While spells like [Bottomless Swamp] that changed the terrain was out of the picture, there were still ways to indirectly alter the environment.
"[Light of Saber]!"
The Crimson Demons destroyed the area around the Big Potato, creating a large pit for it to fall under.
"[Golem Creation]!"
They created golems to quickly fill the pit with rubble.
"Big… Potato…!"
The golems sat on the rubble for good measure, keeping the Big Potato trapped in there.
"Hehe… Aren't I a genius or what?!"
Revi said, posing as the Crimson Demons executed his plan.
"Kyaaa! Revi-sama, you're so cool!"
"I'm so glad I joined your harem!"
"Please take me tonight?!"
The Crimson Demons squealed in excitement while Revi posed for them.
Revi, who was feeling himself, took out a blue magic core and said,
"Just for my adoring fans… I'll give you a little show! Henshin!"
"Calibur Core… Install!"
He inserted the magic core into his belt device. Poke appeared out of nowhere and created a portal above him. A blue Moguninin armor came out from the portal and equipped itself to Revi's body.
Ah… That was the armor that he asked me to lend my energy to.
I covered my ears as the Crimson Demon girls let out unholy fangirl screams after seeing Revi's transformation.
One of them had a nosebleed and fainted.
That was Arue-sensei.
He took out his Scimitar and posed, before charging at the enemy.
"Time to show off my sword form. Let's go, partner! Gack!"
He stopped on his tracks when something emerged out of the ground and grabbed his ankle.
"...Eh? Eeeep?!"
He was raised from the ground as an arm emerged out of the rubble and held him.
"Big… Po… Tatoooo!"
The Big Potato managed to come out of the rubble and held Revi by his ankle.
"H-Help me?!"
Even though he was showing off earlier, he didn't waste time crying and calling for help.
"W-Wait for us, Revi-sama! We'll save you!"
"[Inferno]!"
The Crimson Demons forgot about the whole magic absorption thing and started firing at the Big Potato.
"Are you kidding me?! Oi, I knew that whole 'clan full of geniuses' thing was just a hoax. Are you girls stupid?!"
"Big Potato…!"
The Big Potato seemed to celebrate as he absorbed even more magic power.
"Haha! Wait, I just got an idea! Hey, ladies, keep firing!"
Revi said, while he was being held upside down by the ankle.
"Hah?!"
"Listen, Iris! If we make this thing big enough, it'll collapse under its own weight! It won't be able to walk!"
"Ohhh! You're right!"
Leave it up to Revi to come up with that plan…
Maybe we won't even need Regina-sama's reverse summoning method?
"Girls, keep firing!"
"Yosh!"
They kept firing their spells at the Big Potato.
I looked over at General Harold, hoping to catch the look of despair on his face.
Only to see that he was smiling.
"Yes! It received enough power! Its evolution is complete!"
Before I could warn everyone else, a bright light engulfed the Big Potato.
"...Big… Po… Ta… To…"
I closed my eyes to protect them from the bright light.
When I opened them again…
The Big Potato was gone. I saw Revi rolling on the ground, as he was thrown away.
"...This new body… It feels more powerful than before… Ah, I can talk?"
What replaced the Big Potato was a humanoid figure.
It still had the characteristics of a potato, but it was much smaller than its previous form, taking on the form of a muscular man.
It didn't have distinct facial characteristics, its head resembling a potato with eyes and a mouth. It looked down at its body, at its hands, opening and closing it.
"This form… It's perfect…!"
We all looked at the new form of the Big Potato.
"W-What happened to the Big Potato?"
Revi asked, as he picked himself up from the ground.
"I'm no longer this being you know as 'Big Potato'... Call me… 'Perfect Spud'!"
He struck a pose, showing off his new body for us.
Part 6
We all stared at this new being that called itself 'Perfect Spud'.
We all silently stared.
"Oh? At a loss for words? Are you intimidated by my…"
"Pfffft! Perfect Spud! Bwahahaha!"
"What a stupid name! And an even stupider transformation!"
"You were much more intimidating before! Bwahahaha!"
Perfect Spud watched us laughing and mocking him. He stomped his foot on the ground, creating a crater.
"Silence! T-There's nothing funny about the name I gave myself!"
"Oh, my, Mr. Spud. You must be really popular in the farmer's market. What a stud you are! Or I guess I should say… What a spud you are! Bwahahaha!"
Revi said, having the time of his life mocking this guy.
"What a Giga Spud… Gurk!"
While he was in the middle of laughing, Revi suddenly went quiet. It happened in an instant. My eyes couldn't even keep up. Perfect Spud appeared in front of Revi, with his first buried in his armor.
He let his fist go, letting Revi fall. I saw that his armor was already heavily damaged from one strike.
If it wasn't for the Moguninin armor…. Revi would already be dead.
"Y-You… You hurt my Revi!"
Komekko-chan went into a rage, pulling her devil sword out and releasing a large amount of red energy.
She used that energy to propulse herself towards Perfect Spud, who raised his arm and deflected the sword slashes.
"Hoh… That's quite a dangerous sword you have… But it's not enough! You're just making me more powerful!"
The red energy the sword was emitting was merely absorbed by Perfect Spud.
"Why don't you have a taste of your own medicine…!"
Perfect Spud pulled his fist back. Komekko-chan's red energy covered his fist as he punched her. Komekko-chan managed to block the attack with her sword, causing her to slide back.
"H-He can use devil energy?"
Komekko-chan said, stunned by his usage of her power.
"...If he can absorb it, I assume he can use it. That's why I told you not to attack recklessly, right?"
General Harold stepped forward, with a big smile on his face.
"Amazing, Perfect Spud! You've single handedly taken down their king! Now, lead the charge and we can take out their entire army…!"
"...Perfect Spud doesn't answer to anyone anymore."
"Huh? What'd you say? O-Oi, we're your creators, you know?! How dare you disobey us!"
Perfect Spud smirked at him and pointed to the crest on General Harold's armor.
"You're wearing that potato symbol, aren't you? Doesn't that mean that you're my subject?"
"W-What…?! You arrogant little!"
"...I grow tired of you. Take this! [Hot Potato]!"
Perfect Spud shot out a potato that was glowing red. It hit General Harold on the chest and burned through his bodysuit.
"H-H-Hot! Ouch! Ouch!"
He jumped around while Perfect Spud laughed at his predicament.
Now we got a super powered monster on the loose. Not even the enemy could control him anymore.
Perfect Spud laughed and looked out at his previous masters.
"[Hot Potato Barrage]!"
He released a volley of flaming potatoes at the Potassian army. They screamed in terror and ran away from him.
"Hahaha! What cowards!"
He turned to us and smirked,
"Oh? You're still gonna fight? What can you do against me? Magic doesn't work. You can't take advantage of my large size anymore. And my physical power is beyond what you mortals can achieve! I'm perfect!"
He raised his arms to the sky and started laughing.
It was true… Most of the fighters here relied on magic or magic equipment to fight.
Perhaps our over reliance on magic was our undoing this time.
Even my Calibur relied on magic damage…
"...!"
I just had an idea.
I did have a means to do damage without relying on magic…
After waiting for the temporary transformation to come back, I stepped towards Perfect Spud.
"Huh? You went from blonde hair to blue hair, huh? What is that supposed to be, some stupid powerup?"
"...Actually, it's supposed to be a downgrade, but…"
I smirked and charged towards him, sheathing my sword.
"...It's not bad to go back to your roots once in a while! Get it, you stupid potato!"
I started out as a hand-to-hand fighter as a Battle Priest anyway.
I punched his hard torso, putting my all into the punches.
"Seriously? That's it? I thought you were the smart type based on how you fought earlier but… I'm disappointed!"
"Urk!"
I gasped as he punched me on the stomach.
It took everything I had to not pass out.
"Iris!"
Komekko-chan yelled out at me, watching me slump down.
He grinned and spit some blood out. I drew in a deep breath and said,
"Akashic… Discharge…"
I stored the damage I received and reflected it back around me.
"W-What… Gackkk!"
He fell over, holding his stomach.
"B-But… I should have absorbed the attack…?!"
"The effect itself is magical, but not the result. That's how we got you buried in that pit, right?"
As long as the damage type itself wasn't magical in nature, he couldn't absorb it. Since [Akashic Discharge] reflected the same type of damage that the user receives, he received physical damage, not magic damage.
"Heh… So you are a smart one… Well, I guess you can't be too smart…"
He stood up and held my head, picking me up from the ground.
"H-Huh…"
I looked at him, surprised that he was still moving.
"...You think I put everything I had into that punch? I mean look at you. You're not dead yet, right? If I went all out, you would have taken me out, too, since we'd both be dead. Plus… I'm naturally more resilient than you…!"
He stomped the ground, creating a perfect hole on it. He pushed me down into the hole and stomped on my foot.
"...You're a dangerous one, so stay there!"
"Ow, ow!"
He stomped on my head to keep me in the hole.
Ah… This guy is too strong…
I looked at Revi, who fainted, and Komekko-chan, who was about to attack without a plan again.
Regina-sama… Please hurry up or we're all screwed?!
Part 7
The Crimson Demon girls got some smelling salts and put it under Revi's nose.
"Bwaahh!"
He woke up with a scream.
"Oi! Revi, you done taking a nap?! Help me over here!"
I said, yelling at him while I was buried from the neck down.
Komekko-chan was keeping Perfect Spud occupied, although she wasn't doing any damage to him.
She was actually making him stronger with her attacks.
"Fufu… You never learn do you, girl? [Potato Cannon]!"
Perfect Sput put his wrists together and launched a high speed potato from his open palms. The potato shot out and hit Komekko-chan on the face, making her fall backwards.
"Ow! Why does that potato hit so hard?!"
Komekko-chan said, rubbing the red spot on her forehead.
The awakened Revi joined the attack, taking his crossbow out.
Since attached the blue magic core that held my borrowed energies.
"[Calibur Shot]!"
He shot a bolt filled with energies from Calibur.
Although it wasn't as powerful as [Exterion], the bolt was still surrounded by a golden energy that could rival that of an Advanced magic spell…
That bolt was heading towards me.
"Huh?! Are you blind, or are you trying to kill me?!"
I closed my eyes when the bolt approached me.
I heard an explosion, but I didn't receive any damage. I looked around and saw that he hit the area in front of me, creating a deeper hole for me to crawl out of.
"I see! Nice one, Revi!"
He stared blankly at me and said,
"...You were seriously doubting me, though?"
"I-I didn't say anything?"
I played ignorant as I crawled out of the hole he created. I ran over to join him and the others.
"So… What's the plan? Komekko-chan is holding him back, but at this point, that talking potato man is just gonna get stronger."
He looked around at the battlefield. With Perfect spud leading the way, the soldiers of Potassia would normally get the advantage.
But Perfect Spud already declared that he wasn't on anybody's side. While Potassia wasn't directly helping us, they weren't interfering in our efforts to fight Perfect Spud, either.
"...The plan is to stall for Regina-sama. We can't do anything else against this guy."
Some soldiers tried firing normal bolts and ammunition at Perfect Spud, but it didn't affect him. His body was even harder than Moguninin armor.
"Is that really all we can do?"
"Yeah… Focus on containment and tell Komekko-chan to stop feeding the enemy even more magic power!"
Revi glared at Komekko-chan, who was blasting off devil energy at the opponent, who was just absorbing it.
"Oi, Komekko-chan, switch to your normal sword!"
I said, cupping my hands together to project my voice.
"...You think the devil hasn't thought of that?! The sword will just end up breaking like everything else!"
She gestured at the weapons and ammunition that lay broken at the ground.
"Even so, you're just feeding him more power! Go back to using your fists, or something!"
Since she was a hand-to-hand fighter before, I told her to use her fists.
"...Good idea! Here goes!"
She put her sword away and punched Perfect Spud.
"Oww?! My hand?! Who said this was a good idea?! Idiot!"
Komekko-chan started hopping around and holding her hand after she punched Perfect Spud.
…Oh, right. If steel will break if it hits him, a human hand certainly will.
"S-Sorry…"
Perfect Spud laughed as he watched Komekko-chan hollering from the pain of her hand.
"Hahaha! This is amusing! If you entertain me some more, I promise not to kill you too quickly!"
Revi took out the blue magic core from his belt, deactivating his Sword Form.
He took out a purple magic core and attached it to the belt, twisting it in place.
"Henshin!"
He posed and said the activation phrase.
"Akashic Core… Install!"
The Crimson Demon girls squealed in excitement again as Poke opened the portal above Revi's head. The blue Moguninnin armor was replaced with a purple one, representing Regina-sama's color.
He took out his crossbow again and fired some black bolts.
"[Shadow Bolt]!"
The black bolts landed near Perfect Spud's feet and shot out shadow threads that trapped him.
"Oh? A change in tactic, eh?"
Perfect Spud said, trying to move from the shadows that bound him.
"Alright! Crimson Demon troops! Summon your golems! If your golems attack, it's still considered a physical attack!"
"Oh! You're right!"
"[Golem Creation]!"
The Crimson Demon girls summoned their earth golems and surrounded Perfect Spud. The golems started wailing punches on him.
"Ohh! This is quite nice! A deep tissue massage, huh?"
Perfect Spud said, remaining calm even as he was surrounded by earth golems and punched from all sides.
Komekko-chan looked at the golems and said,
"That's a good idea! Let's see… Maybe this should work! [Golem Fist]!"
She shaped earth around her first, forming large stone gloves, and joined in on the attack, releasing a series of fast punches.
…She just came up with a new spell on the spot, huh?
This girl is honestly too OP?!
With Komekko-chan joining in, Perfect Spud lost his cool.
"Grrr! Stop it! Ow…! I said stop!"
Komekko-chan was using the punches of the other golems to distract Perfect Spud, releasing her powerful punches on his weak spots when he wasn't able to guard them.
"Hah! The Devil won't lose to some stupid talking potato! Ora! Ora!"
Komekko-chan was getting into the flow, going into a boxers stance and letting out some jabs, straights and hooks.
"That's it! No more! I'm gonna make a new move as well! [Mashed Potato Form]!"
"Eh?!"
Perfect Spud's body changed, becoming soft and mushy, like mashed potatoes.
It reminded me of the liquefaction technique that Charia, the shark Demon King general, used on herself.
Before Komekko-chan could react, Perfect Spud reformed his body away from her, loosening out of the grip of Revi's [Shadow Bolt].
"Haha! I didn't think it'd work, but as expected of the perfect life form that is myself! I am truly unstoppable!"
He laughed while reshaping his body into a hard potato.
"...If you're gonna turn into mashed potatoes, at least add some butter or gravy!"
Komekko-chan said, as she scooped up some leftover mashed potato on the ground and ate it.
"...Komekko-chan… Why are you eating that?"
We said, staring at her in disbelief.
Even Perfect Stud looked kind of creeped out.
"Um… You do realize that was a part of my body, right?"
"So? Food is food. Do you think I see you as a real person, you potato freak? All you are is a walking potato buffet! Don't misunderstand and start seeing yourself as an actual human being!"
This comment seemed to hit a nerve with Perfect Spud.
"Why you…! I'll just have to make you acknowledge me, then!"
He raised his hands to the sky.
Just as I was wondering what he was doing, I saw mashed potato gathering above his hand into a ball. This ball started to grow larger…
"O-Oi… What is he doing?"
I said, watching the potato ball get bigger and bigger.
"Obviously it can't be good?! Oi, you dumbass Potassians just watching all this! If you don't stop that attack, we'll all die!"
Revi's words seemed to get through to the Potassians.
General Harold begrudgingly nodded and said,
"Potassians! Stop Perfect Spud!"
They fired all their arrows and bolts at the mashed potato ball hovering above Perfect Spud, however, their attacks only got buried within the growing ball of mashed potatoes.
"Hahaha! All you're doing is making your deaths more painful, with all the sharp weapons you're firing into my [Mashed Potato Bomb]! Oi, girl, you said you like butter and gravy, right? Coming right up!"
The giant ball started to get coated with steaming hot gravy and butter.
…If that thing hit us, we'd probably get boiled alive before the sheer mass of the giant ball crushed us to death.
"R-Run!"
The Potassia army started running away to their side of the border.
Revi also turned to his troops and was about to order a retreat. However…
"I-I'm back!"
Regina-sama said, appearing to us with Rueka and Serena-san at her side.
I nodded to Rueka, who teleported Regina-sama to the capital and back.
"I hope you found a way to beat this thing, Regina-sama! Or else we're all dead?!"
I said, pointing to the giant mass of potatoes.
"What the heck is that thing?! I did find something good! Since they used the land's vitality and fertility to summon that thing, then a necromantic ritual that deals with death might be able to screw up with its link to this world!"
"Alright… We'll leave it up to you to reverse the summoning!"
Regina-sama nodded and took out a vial of magic dust, forming a magic circle with it. She started chanting, making the circle grow purple.
I turned to Revi and said,
"Earn us some more extra time!"
He nodded and took out the last magic core he had, the pink magic core containing Rori-san's magic energies.
"Henshin!"
"Succubus Core… Install!"
I looked at the light pink Moguninin armor that appeared from the portal.
"...Nice color, I guess?"
I saw him blush before the helmet went around his face. He said,
"...I-It was Rori-san's request! Whatever, let me focus!"
I smirked at the pink armor design he had. He didn't know this, but there was actually a heart design on the armor covering his left ass cheek.
He attached the pink magic core to his crossbow and aimed it at Perfect Spud.
"[Illusion Bolt]!"
Just when I was wondering what illusion he'd create at this moment…
"W-Who's that?!"
Perfect Spud stared at the figure who appeared in front of him.
It was a female potato creature, with humanoid features, like him.
She had big potato breasts and a big potato ass. Her potato skin was covered with a shiny film of melted butter. Long, shredded potato skin hung down from her head, resembling human hair.
This potato woman smiled at Perfect Spud and said,
"Hey, baby. Up for some fun with me…?"
Perfect Spud's mouth went wide,
"U-Um… Really? With me?"
"Of course, you big spud… I'll let you mash your potatoes with me and you give me your thick gravy…"
"...!"
Perfect Spud was completely distracted by Revi's stupid illusion. I couldn't believe this actually worked.
"Alright… It's done!"
Regina-sama said, once she was finished with her incantation.
We moved out of the way as she pointed a finger at Perfect Spud. She opened her mouth and said,
"[Reverse Summon]!"
A portal appeared behind Perfect Spud.
"Huh? What's happening? No! This can't be…!"
He tried to struggle, but the portal pulled him back.
We watched his attack disappear along with him into the portal.
"Nooo! This can't be happening…!"
His voice trailed away as the last of Perfect Spud disappeared into the portal.
Revi sighed in relief and dispelled his illusion.
"Wah… That's finally over…"
I went up to Regina-sama, who sat on the ground, catching her breath.
"Good job, Regina-sama! You were useful for once!"
"I'm always useful?!"
"Well… You're more like the quest giver who doesn't really do anything…"
"Take that back!"
After we defeated Perfect Spud, we turned to the Potassian army, who was retreating to their borders.
"...What do we do? Let them go?"
Revi considered it and said,
"We wasted enough time, and I'd like to start preparing for the real war against the Demon King army, but if we let these guys go, they might attack us while we're busy with Maouko…"
He turned to his troops and said,
"Alright, you lot! You didn't do jack shit during the Perfect Spud battle, so make yourselves useful now! Pursue the Potassian army!"
"Yes, your majesty!"
They let out a battle cry and chased after the retreating enemy army.
While we were watching them leave, Komekko-chan joined us.
"...Unforgivable."
She said, muttering to herself.
"I know, right? Running away to leave us with the mess they created? Those guys are cowards."
"No, the Devil is talking about how you sent that potato away without letting the Devil eat it! How could you?!"
She gave us a betrayed look.
"...We'll give you all the potatoes you want after this!"
Revi said, knowing what would make her happy.
"Yay~! This is why you're the best!"
She went back to being happy and hugged Revi.
It didn't take long for the Elroad soldiers to catch up.
The Potassian army surrendered within a matter of minutes after their big trump card was defeated.