Chapter 10
Seeing through rosy-tinted Ludovico headgear
This feels... Nice. Being able to just sit here, watching over my ward. As if I were an angel, looking over the innocent, ensuring safety from all manner of evil. As if I were part of the Honor Guard, defending Their Majesty as they slept. I feel... Satisfied, with this. But I must not relax my guard. Not for anything. To let anyone be injured on my watch...
...No. Do not think upon the "What if?". Simply prevent it from ever occurring. And if that is not possible, then do your damndest to mitigate the failures. This is how you ensure that you do not fail. That is how you ensure that you are not infested with guilt pains if you were not good enough; simply desiring to become better so that you do not fall short of the goal next time.
And now, I need to refocus on the task at hand. It would be laughable to have failed simply due to rampant thoughts.
...The forest is rather beautiful, though. The sun's sickly mirror casting its ethereal light down makes for a rather pleasing & dramatic effect on our surroundings. It is... Oddly soothing.
Perhaps I can take a bit of a rest. Simply close my eyes for a bit.
Just a little bit of cleaning solution here... Add a bandage... And, there. A skinned knee, fixed. Another patient, safe and healthy. And my mind laid confounded at the hubris of children...
"Thank you, Ji!
"You should be fine now. But, for the hundredth time, be careful! You are going to make me an early grave with how reckless you are! Stress is dangerous, you know?"
And yet, pissed off as I may be, as I look upon the beaming child, I instantly know that this anger is merely superficial... And that my coffers are going to be far lighter come the moon, as the unusual shock & fear makes my heart cry out in anguish.
"W-Wha- I-i'm so sorry, Mister! I-I didn't know!"
"No, no, it's okay, just- be careful, okay? Here, I'll give you some money for sweets, okay? Just- stop crying! Please!"
"No! I gotta make it up somehow... Oh, I know! If I become your apprentice, I'll be able to heal you when you get too stressed!"
An... Apprentice? The workload has been getting a bit out of hand these days, but a child of 12 years shouldn't need to bear witness to such soul-searing sights as I do. That look of bull-headed determination tells me I won't be able to dissuade them, sadly. Perhaps...
"Very well. But under 2 conditions."
"What is it?"
"Firstly, you will never attempt to heal something out of your capabilities. One of the worst ways to make an injury worse is to try to treat it without proper knowledge. I do not wish for you to bear the crippling guilt of having failed an operation because you did not know what was happening. Always put the patient first."
He simply nodded.
"And secondly, in the event that you feel that something is too grotesque, that something is too much for you, you must immediately tell me. I refuse to let you become scarred just because of some inane belief that you owe me. Too many times has a man gone mad because he has seen his fellows insides too early. You will not join them."
His eyes wavered. He began to shake. Though it was subtle, it was proof he was not taking this lightly. And then, he inhaled.
"Very well. I wish to be able to help people like you do. If you think these rules are for the best... Then I accept."
"Is this how a parent feels when their child does something extraordinary?" Was all that I was thinking as I extended my hand. And as they cla-
I woke up beyond noxious. What the hell was that? Was that someone else's memories? Am I stealing identities?
My ponderings are cut short from violent hacking. Who is coughi- oh. The pile of grey something that fastly evaporates ejecting itself from my mouth quickly answers that question. I guess this is Nobody blood? Interesting. If only it didn't cause burning pain in my stomach. I guess no sleep for me tonight.
...A doctor, huh? With an apprentice? Maybe I can learn a thing or two from them.