Chapter 13

The Shining City Over The Hill

"...in... ste..ton...MISTER WHITTINGTON!"

Instincts I never had took over. I bolted up, eyes and head darting all around.

"What is the issue? Is anyone injured? Condition, no- ...Oh. Apologies."

I am looking at a horrible sight. Marie is beyond distressed at the implications of what I just stated, the Oddish she presumably caught is just confused, and the Eevee is frowning at me, most likely upset that I have upset their master. Quick. Random but accurate bullshit, go.

"I was... Not having a pleasurable dream. However, it is nothing but a dream. Let us just move on, and forget about this."

Perfect. The best lies are truths, after all. And, not only was I not having a pleasurable dream (After all, I wasn't dreaming at all), but also, the last dream I had was in fact not even remotely good, considering its results.

"Um... Are you sure? If it'll help, we can talk about it. Talking about things helps. It really does sound like something we should talk about."

"It's fine, my brain just decides to be an asshole every now and then. Now then, let's get over there and show a Gym Leader that we deserve a shiny piece of... Wait, what are Gym Badges even made out of?... Tin? Cobalt? Painted iron? Whatever. We can ask the gym leader once we beat them. Point is, time to get a badge."

"Alright, if you say so..."

Well, my attempt to raise spirits seems to have worked... Not as much as I would like.

"Oh, come one, I can't have you getting all morose now; the champion's rival is supposed to be all riled up, challenging them so that they become better! Where's your fighting spirit?"

"Alright, fine, you sound like my dad. Let's go win already. Besides, I'M the champ to be, you're the rival. Thought this was obvious."

She smiled at that. She had a face that looked like she was reminiscing over good times. That's nice. She doesn't seem like she deserves to be upset, or conflicted over anything.

"So, where's this city, then?"

"If the map is right, Rado City should be just a few minutes away! The last one there's a Happiny's egg!"

It took a moment to parse out just what that meant, and, of course, that meant Marie got a time handicap. First, I was trying to figure out what "Happiny's egg" even meant. Then I admired the fact that, apparently, the World itself had a sense of humor. And it is the best kind of humor possible; punny.

Then, I showed no mercy, brutally cheating my way ahead with C.o.D's. Sure, that probably got some bad karma on my end, and some poor sap probably thinks a random citizen just got Shadow Realmed, but...

"Wait, what? How did... You were just there by where we met Seng! I SAW you stand there for a good half of a minute! How were you able to beat me?!"

It took her about 3 minutes to catch up. It would appear that I underestimated the distance between the 2 locations. I have a decision to make here. And, as I see it, I have 3 choices.

The worst decision is to be blunt. Tell her about the corridors. Not only would she not believe me, it will make her think I am more insane than she already does, because she has to think that I have some loose screws by now, but it could also paint a target on her back. So, obvious "Ho, fuck no" on this one.

The best decision is to come up with a valid point. Say that I used momentum from a hill or something. Had a local 'mon help out. Some bullshit that makes sense, but ultimately is completely wrong.

Or, I could make the funnyman's decision...

Needless to say, I did.

I simply shrugged and said, "I found a shortcut."

...And completely rip off a certain smiley trashbag. Somewhere out there, a bag of bones is sneezing and feeling unfounded pride. Marie's face just exudes exasperation at my absolute shitlordery, and it is beautiful.

"...Oh, hah-ha. Very funny. Are you going to tell me, or should we just get going to a rest center now? Because, believe it or not, my legs are starting to hurt, and I could use a snack."

I can tell I made the right decision because it is taking all of my willpower to not cackle. Cannot stop my grin, however. This appears to exasperate her even further as she dejectedly sighs.

"No, no, I'm serious. I DID find a shortcut. Opened up right in my face. Saw malicious horrors beyond my comprehension. Just had to close my eyes immediately so that I didn't start praising the Old Ones.."

Even as she granny pulls me off deep into the city, my belief that I made the right choice is unshakable.