Three sessions of them casually talking about what they like to do while the fake spike remains on the table, and he finally breaks.
A trembling hand reaches out and a single digit slowly runs along the surface of the fake spike.
Nacelle praises him for being brave enough to accomplish it.
And then the challenge changes.
Now he has to sit with it in his hands while they talk.
One more session and he is mindlessly fumbling with it, still not completely comfortable with the situation.
Two more sessions, and his confidence has grown as they talk.
"Take it with you." Nacelle encourages when their session ends, and Thundercracker barely thinks about the implication in the psychiatrist's words before he nods and subspaces it.
Now it lies on the berth table, ever present, as part of the new challenge.
He knows what the next step is going to be and he isn't sure he can complete it.
Not yet.
It still feels too soon.
But there is something else he can do and he has finally gathered the courage to try it.
Sitting on the edge of the berth, he pulls out the pair of specialized cables and connects them to the black holo-vid.
How to overload - Carrier Edition.
Connecting it to his systems, he completes the final link-up to his processor and leans back in the berth.
A list of choices pops up and he chooses the first.
How to identify your frame-specific erogenous zones.
He waits patiently for the guided session to reach his frame-type and then follows the verbal instruction in locating the erogenous zones on his frame.
The wings are unsurprisingly a large erogenous zone, their sensors naturally having a heightened sensitivity. The sensor clusters at the tips have a direct link to his processor.
His neck cables are the next area he is introduced to and he follows the guide to locate the cables with the most sensitivity. Rubbing gently at them, a warmth spreads through him and he shudders with pleasure.
To his surprise, his hip joint is a zone as well. A large cluster of sensors located in the gap between the hips and his pelvic plating has a pleasant reaction to pressure.
Finally it mentions his thruster turbines and a small area behind his audio.
His hands are slow and uncertain in their movements while he investigates his own frame and familiarizes himself with the sensation of pleasure.
The session ends and the holo-vid moves to the next one.
Sire-specific erogenous zones.
He has the urge to skip it, but hesitates, and the session starts with a visual map of a sire's frame, depicting the most erogenous zones on the bulkier frame.
There is a notable difference, beside the obvious, and he listens as the voice intellectually explains the evolutionary reason behind the difference between the two genders, and why the sire's erogenous zones are wired differently to that of the carrier.
Curiously, he touches the areas highlighted, but doesn't get any notable reaction from them.
Yes it feels nice, but nothing like what he felt when he stimulated his neck cables.
The session ends and the holo-vid moves to the next one.
Positions and how they affect your frame-specific erogenous zones.
The voice goes into an in-depth analyze of the eight most used interfacing positions, and if the voice hadn't been as clinical in its approach to the topic as it is, then he wouldn't have been able to continue watching the holo-vid.
While the calm factual voice explains the stimulation he is going to feel when he is taken in the different positions, his mind begins to drift and unconsciously think about Skywarp and their time together, and the moment he realizes what his processor is doing, he rises and rapidly pulls the cables out of the holo-vid.
In a flash of light, he is back in his berth room, his processor struggling to adjust to the sudden change of perception.
The holo-vid is definitely NOT helping.
It leaves room for too much thinking.
And guilty pleasure.
He has done as Nacelle had requested.
Has thought deeply about why he had chosen Skywarp.
And it has taken him a while to accept the reason.
Is he really in love?
He doesn't know.
The concept is completely alien to him.
And even if he is, he ruined everything between them by seeking out Skywarp while in a emotional state of misaligned flight sensors.
No.
Everything had been fine between them until the moment where he wanted to leave the berth and his gaze had fallen upon the limp spike and its spilled transfluids.
He had been paralyzed by fear.
Old fear, he understands now, but at the moment the fear of Skywarp's unknown intentions had clouded his mind.
Skywarp had broken his paralyze by a simple gentle touch, and he had literally jumped away, flattening himself against the farthest wall.
Sonar had opened the door and a few moments later Megatron and other staff had arrived to the scene.
His damaged thought-processes had kept him from defending Skywarp from the accusations made by Megatron, and the implied insinuations voiced by the healthcare staff.
Too caught up in a maelstrom of conflicting thoughts.
His processor had run a logical rapid-fire analyze of Skywarp's actions, strengthening his inner belief that Skywarp didn't have any evil intentions, but the belief from those around him convinced him that Skywarp did intend to hurt him, and already had.
They kept asking about the transfluid smeared across his pelvic plating.
"What did he do? Did he force you? Can you remember what happened?"
"No, I don't know." He had broken down in tears, and then Skywarp had been led out of the recovery room by Megatron.
He had wanted to say something, but the words got stuck in his vocalizer.
Skywarp had turned his head to look at him, the black and purple seeker's yellow optics dull in acceptance, lacking any will to fight the assumptions from those around them.
His field had reached out, full of apology and regret, but Skywarp had already been out of range and he had been alone with his thoughts.